What do you think? This should be amusing.

-- Anonymous, September 30, 2000

Answers

i moved five thousand miles from home with no job and no money to last me more than a month...and it was a different country...and while no one could understand, and no one supported me, i knew it was so right for ME and that was all that mattered. here i am, two years later, and i owe my life to that decision. i look at at the day i left as the day my real life began...when i started taking care of myself, stopped letting others (parents) push me around and i started to believe that i could make the best decisions in my life. i couldn't have made a better decision, and even though no one understood, i knew it was SO right. and now everyone in my life is like...you were right, you did it...and you're better for it. so i say go for it. you have to make up your own mind and you have to live your own life. you cant spend it letting other people live your life for you...they aren't walking in your shoes, they dont feel what you feel...only you do. and that's that. good luck. :)

-- Anonymous, September 30, 2000

I think you're incredibly brave. Best of luck to you.

-- Anonymous, September 30, 2000

I think the Virginia commercial is a good sign. Good luck Katie.

-- Anonymous, September 30, 2000

Good luck Katie! You're really brave. I'd never be able to go for it. I hope everything works out!

-- Anonymous, September 30, 2000

There will be times in your life and regret this.

There will be times in your life and realize this was the best thing you ever did.

Here's hoping for more of the latter.

-- Anonymous, September 30, 2000

That made NO sense. Um, replace "and" with "when you will look back and". Sorry. I'll shut up now.

-- Anonymous, September 30, 2000

I think you're doing the right thing, and you're so incredibly brave. I don't know if I could ever do it, and I admire you for that.

-- Anonymous, September 30, 2000

Good Luck hun! I hope you have a great time. I know that you were feeling really shitty there for a while. Hopefully your oulook on life will be better now that you are away from your Illinois life.

Darn it! We wont live in the same state anymore! :-(

-- Anonymous, September 30, 2000

Katie I live in VA and it is hot as hell here. Good Luck!!

-- Anonymous, September 30, 2000

hopefully, you'll be happy in virginia. life is what you make of it, etc.

-- Anonymous, September 30, 2000

Have fun in VA and lots of MAJOR luck :) NOVA sucks but maybe Southern.. (what, SOVA?) is better..or is it mid (MOVA?)...ANYWAYS (love how well I know this state...) Have fun :)

-- Anonymous, September 30, 2000

I think older adults can underestimate the ability younger adults have to make good decisions. Just because some people are fucking up their life doesn't mean that something that you want to do (if they don't want you to) is a bad idea.

I understand this drive to be independant; it's been a huge force in what I've done and who I am (I moved out of my parents house and got emancipated right after my fifteenth birthday [sounds incredibly young but I was also done with high school and starting college at that point and was "old for my age"]) and I think that for people who have this drive, as you clearly do, the best thing to do is go with it and live life the way that will make you happy (although living life the way that makes you happy goes for *everyone*.)



-- Anonymous, September 30, 2000

I am going to go with the corndog route and just say - YOU GO GIRL. I mean, REALLY! :-)

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2000

Welcome home! :)

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2000

virginia sucks. really.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2000

at the ripe ole age of 34 i moved from my hometown of new orleans to chicago. just me, the cat and my boyfriend. ive been here a month and it was the best thing ive done with my life in a LONG time. you're doing the right thing. best of luck to you.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2000

I definitely think that total change of surroundings is the best way to make something worth something. I know you can take responsibility for yourself, so I'm sure you'll do fine.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2000

go for it. don't look back.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2000

wow. good luck to you!!

you seem happier already = )

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2000

Of course, you have all of my support Katie. We've talked long and hard about this decision, the pros the and cons, and I you know I think you have to do what's in your best interest... what makes you happy. Finally, you sound happy after weeks and weeks of uncertainty. Go down there and kick ass! Dont let anyone, including your parents, get you down. Sometimes parents try to hold on too tight... sometimes they dont understand... sometimes they aren't quite ready to let you grow up or to let you go... sometimes they want to protect you too much... but everyone has to grow up and make their own mistakes... sometimes it takes moving a 17-hour drive away from home to make it happen.

Good luck, Katie! I know you'll make it happen for you. As for Eric, well I think you should drop him like yesterdays garbage... so dont let him get in the way of what you are trying to achieve. Focus on yourself, as self centered as that sounds, and everything you want will fall into place. You know you have ALOT of support... based on this board. And when you need a pick me up... send me an email, or give me a call.

As for all the readers out there... Katie only gave me one puny little link so while she's away come to Commixion and find out what I have to say about everything. Oh come on, what are you going to do in here...

~Greg

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2000

What part of Virginia are you in now anyway? Just curious..I just moved here myself. Good for you though. I know how you feel. When I told my father I was getting married, he tried to bribe me with everything possible just so I wouldn't. Just because he had issues with marriage. Fuck that. He cut me off for school (which is fine...I am a grown person now), but told me he'd still pay tuition if I moved out of state with my fiance but did not get married. What the hell is that? I hated having that feeling that he could control me with his money. So, obviously, I gave up the tuition (though I'm still in school) and got married anyway. I couldn't be happier. Don't get be wrong...it's damned hard to make your dreams come true without mommy and daddy's financial support..but it feels that much better when you realize you can get by without them. Good luck to you.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2000

Goodness. I am not amazed, but a bit caught off-guard, I think. I am really happy for you, and I wish you the best of luck.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2000

I wish you the best of luck over in Va. I hope you're happy. You really do deserve all the happiness in the world. Take care of yourself.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2000

You know, it's already been said twice (so I'm an unoriginal bastard), but welcome home. :)

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2000

I'm slogging through my last year in high school, but what you're doing is something I've actually been dreaming about. I'd never have gone through with it, though.

I know you'll make it work. :)

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2000

Best of luck to you, Katie. If this is something you need to do --- go for it. :-)

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2000

Katie, from all that you've written, it seems like what you're doing is the best thing for you. Good luck! :)

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2000

Have fun with your career at KMart in Virginia. Who knows, maybe you can work your way up to head checker in a few years.

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2000

Katie, you're my hero!

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2000

Wow.. Lucky you, Katie. I'm really happy for you that you're doing something to make you happy. And I wish you the best of luck!

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2000

good luck katie. it's gonna be hard, y'know (obviously), but if you have the determination you will prosper!!

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2000

Wow.. I am so jealous. You are doing exactly what I wanna do right now. You'll never regret it. :)

-- Anonymous, October 01, 2000

there is no "right" or "wrong" in this instance. you're an adult now. you'll determine whether or not you made a mistake. and your decisions don't end here; there are many, many more to make in the next few months. good luck.

-- Anonymous, October 02, 2000

I'm going to go against the grain here... are you insane? You missed four good years of mooching off your parents. I think you're looking for a little too much independence a little too soon. But that's just me.

Whatever floats your boat, Katie. Good luck!

-- Anonymous, October 02, 2000

"The grass is always greener..."

It's something you should ponder deeply as you set up shop in VA. A physical move can be good for the soul, and I think yours is. But, you need to change your attitude a little as well. You're a little too much into the 'Wah I'm a victim' thing. You can build yourself and your independence without running away from life. Be sure you understand WHY you did it. You may think you've thought everything through, but you've still got a lot of maturing to do in life.

Good luck with everything and I wish you nothing but the best.

-- Anonymous, October 02, 2000

heya Katie, I think a move of independence is great, being spontaneous and following your heart is what life is all about. However, it isn't the solution to all your problems (although it's a step in the right direction!) So try to have a plan B just in case - it's best not to upset your parents and try and help them see where you're coming from, that way if things don't work out in Virginia you always have something to fall back on. I know they might seem like assholes right now - and for all I know they might be - but just keep on speaking terms with them, I'm sure they'll come around eventually. But for the record, I think you're doing the right thing - what makes you happy, and no-one knows what will do that better than you. Do I sound like an agony aunt? I think I do, I'll stop ranting now :) Katie, Cambridge, England

-- Anonymous, October 02, 2000

There was a lot in that Sept. 30th entry that I can relate to. When I was 18 I left for school and had every excuse not to come home even to visit. When I got out, I moved farther away! It's hard to believe that I have a ten year reunion at high school this year (arrgghh!) and that I've gone full circle. I am back in my hometown now watching over my parents. I didn't solve everything by moving, but I figured out who I wanted to be, not who someone else wanted me to be. I am scared for you and excited for you at the same time! Good luck. We're all behind you.

-- Anonymous, October 02, 2000

I've been reading your journal for about two years now... and I am so fucking happy that you have decided to do this. If it doesn't work out, so what? It will still be so valuable. I wish you all the best and hope it does all happen for you. It was so much fun reading your latest entry, you sounded so strong. Fuck, I sound like Oprah. Good luck, Katie.

-- Anonymous, October 03, 2000

Best of luck to you, Katie. Keep us posted!

-- Anonymous, October 03, 2000

I think you're mad for leaving college without your degree, but I guess you can always choose to go back later. Whatever, if you're sure this is the right decision for you then go for it. Best of luck.

-- Anonymous, October 03, 2000

TAKE ME WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

-- Anonymous, October 03, 2000

I think you are a fucking moron. The only thing I noticed when I read your entries was that you are a spoiled brat who still has a lot of growing up to do and, obviously, thinks about no one but herself. Have you ever stopped to consider how this would effect anyone else? Hell, nevermind, I already know the answer to that....

P.S. I think you are doing a great job of "being out on your own" when you have to live with your boyfriend's ex-girlfriend and her friends. (You are an inspiration to me....or a chicken shit - one of the two)

-- Anonymous, October 03, 2000

Best of luck, Katie. I'm so jealous of you! Why didn't I have the kind of guts you're showing when I was your age, or even 22 or 23?? I let a lifelong dream pass me by forever because I lacked the guts to completely go off on my own. (To be fair to myself, however, I didn't have any offers of anyone to help me get started -- you should be very, very grateful that someone is willing to come get you and let you live with them for a while and get set up!)

The thing is, you can always go back to school when you're ready. And it will no doubt be a big struggle to support yourself, but it probably would also have been a struggle if you "started your life" at 25.

After a few hissy fits, your parents will actually have a lot of respect for you, I'll wager. I can tell you this from experience: it's up to you to make an emotional break at some point, because there's never going to be some miraculous date where they say, "Okay, I'll back off now because she's [insert number] years old now!" That doesn't make them bad; it's just the essence of being a parent.

The person who posted above is way out of line. Why is it so selfish to put yourself first when you become an adult? No one owns somebody else's life. Everybody has to go through this, whether they do it when they're 18 or when they're 35. You just have the guts to do it early.

Again, congratulations and I AM SO JEALOUS!!

(And please go back to school when you're ready.)

-- Anonymous, October 04, 2000

You do realize that you are merely switching from dependence on your parents to dependence on your boyfriend's ex girlfriend? It's still dependence, and until you can make your own way in life, you will never be independent.

-- Anonymous, October 04, 2000

One last thing, I came here with an open mind, but just from reading this one essay, you strike me as incredibly immature.

-- Anonymous, October 04, 2000

Twisted Barbie: You don't go from being completely dependent to being completely independent in one step -- at least most people don't. Most of us had to take baby steps. I moved out for the first time with the contents of half my parents' basement, lived with a roommate, and came home almost every night to eat supper. Was I independent yet? Obviously not. But I had taken a big step on the road to independence, and that's what Katie is doing.

Who among us was entirely mature at 18? I was not entirely mature at 25, or maybe not even now. Yes, some immaturity is evident in Katie's writings, but that's completely normal. She's working on it, and that's what counts.

I'm betting that by the time she's 25 Katie will be completely self- sufficient, married (if she wants to be), and will have either finished or be well on the way to finishing her college degree.

I just realized: you could make the argument that you're not entirely self-sufficient if you decide to get married, so perhaps I should not wish marriage on her as that is a form of dependence.

-- Anonymous, October 04, 2000

Hello there!

I'm writing you because I made the same exact decision twenty years ago and have never regretted it ever since. I too felt somewhat stagnated and wanted to move out on my own and be independent. It was one of the best decisions I ever made in my life. I wish you the best, and go out and search for your heart's desire.

-- Anonymous, October 04, 2000

I am so proud of you. I wish I had had the balls to do what you're doing when I was your age. Damn. That makes me sound old (I'm 23 for fuck's sake) and bitter (I'm not... really). Just don't screw it up for those of us who live vicariuosly through your bravery. Also, PLEASE think really hard about your relationship with this Eric character. Mostly, my advice is if you're really trying to be independent, be independent of men first and foremost. I know too many women who throw their lives away on men. After wasting the last year on that, I want to tell everyone that it's not worth it. Make sure that you don't need anyone, or it will come back and bite you in the ass. I guarantee

-- Anonymous, October 04, 2000

Dropping out of college and moving isn't really as big a life change as you might think, Katie--if you feel happier as a result, however, I'm glad for you. Hope that life in Virginia goes well for you.

-- Anonymous, October 05, 2000

so, steve, if moving out of your house to a different state to move with people who you don't really know, and dropping out of college isn't a big life change, then what is? dying?

-- Anonymous, October 07, 2000

*giggles @ maria's comment*

-- Anonymous, October 07, 2000

I've done something similar to Katie--take a leave from school suddenly and move in with someone I didn't know--and it doesn't seem like a big deal to me. Life isn't terribly different from state to state, really.

[As for what I'd consider a major life change, I'd say that moving to another country or coming out of the closet would qualify.]

[And, Katie, glad to hear that you're enjoying Virginia.]

-- Anonymous, October 08, 2000

I agree with the people that say it's not as big a deal as you're making it. Moving just deals with physical presence... especially in your case; you didn't have any friends/confidants or school (since you evidently gave up in the beginning)/work obligations in Illinois, so what's the big deal about leaving--mammy and pappy disapproving? Like you've said and will no doubt be saying for quite some time, it's apparent they don't control you, legally or emotionally. So it's totally not a big deal (or am I missing some key concept?).

I wonder whether you're really happy, or if this is all some sort of an act (you could be fooling yourself, too). Before you and your readers have at the accusations, thats not meant as an insult or even as pessimism. After living a life of unhappiness and isolation (a life which you have no qualms about citing in what probably amounts to half your journal entries), I imagine it's difficult to adjust to suddenly having a dozen friends and a dozen places to go. And after hyping up your move as all but the greatest thing ever to happen in your entire existence, the pressure must be enormous to feel satisfied living in Virginia. How could you, though, feel like you fit in and become comfortable around people whom you'd never met whose abode you suddenly find yourself living in?

But yeah, I am glad things turned out well if they really did. Really I am! In theory, the idea seemed completely ridiculous, but in practice it seems the aforementioned Not A Big Deal.

-- Anonymous, October 11, 2000

I think it's ironic.. cuz I dropped out of school too.. In the beginning of September.

-- Anonymous, October 27, 2000