Pregnancy Q & A

Q: Should I have a baby after 35? A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, right after he graduates.

Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu? A: If it's the flu, you'll get better.

Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving? A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex? A: Childbirth.

Q: The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why? A: 'Cause you're fatter than they are.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational. A: So what's your question?

Q: What's the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a model? A: Nothing (if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him).

Q: How long is the average woman in labor? A: Whatever she says divided by two.

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right? A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural? A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor? A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth? A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Does pregnancy cause hemorrhoids? A: Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for.

Q: What does it mean when a baby is born with teeth? A: It means that the baby's mother may want to rethink her plans to nurse.

Q: What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing? A: When you see teeth marks.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower? A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? A: When the kids are in college.

-- Laurie in WI (CountryGirl518@Moose-mail.com), September 28, 2000

Answers

Funny, Laurie!! I'm printing this out for a couple of co-workers who are pregnant. Would give a copy to my cousin, who works on OB....but I'm not sure it would be as funny down there!!

-- Polly (tigger@moultrie.com), September 29, 2000.

Laurie: Funny! I'm printing a copy to keep for family members and friends who get pregnant! Thanks for making me laugh this morning! Jan

-- Jan in Colorado (Janice12@aol.com), September 29, 2000.

CHUCKLE....CHUCKLE....WONDER WHAT RESPONSES YOU WOULD GET FROM THOSE WOMEN WHO HAVE TWINS, TRIPLETS, QUADS, QUINTS,ETC??????????Would they find these funny?????????/

-- Melissa Tenney (mgrover@neocomm.net), October 02, 2000.