chicken joke

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Know why a chicken coop has two doors??

"Cause if it had four, it'd be a chicken sedan.

-- John D. in Pa. (mrmopar@penn.com), September 26, 2000

Answers

And why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide.

Gerbil

-- Gerbil (ima_gerbil@hotmail.com), September 26, 2000.


LOL LOL Thanks Gerbil!! I love puns!! Oh, who am I kidding, I love all humor. Jokes, knock-knocks, puns, etc,etc. Keep em comin' folks! Life's too short to take it too seriously. Todays people watching lesson-- Walk around with a big smile on your face all day, and watch the reactions you get. Most people will smile back. AH, but a few will wonder what you're up to. You'll be able to tell who they are. I do this from time to time. It's actually fun.

-- John D. in Pa. (mrmopar@penn.com), September 26, 2000.

In 1884 a Philipino contortionist joined the circus, he became the first Manilla folder.

-- Cindy (atilrthehony_1@yahoo.com), September 26, 2000.

John D. in Pa. you are going to be really sorry you got me started!!!!!!! Fair warning--I have a warped sense of homor!!!!! Here- -now you got me started is my first chicken joke--when you have had enough you have to say that is enough now Sonda!!!! What game do baby chick like to play???? Peck-a-boo !!!!! (fair warning you started this--& I get addicted to telling these stupid jokes!!!) Sonda in Ks.

-- Sonda (sgbruce@birch.net), September 26, 2000.

What do you get when you cross a chicken with a guitar?????? A chicken that makes music when you pluck it!!!!! Sonda in Ks.

-- Sonda (sgbruce@birch.net), September 26, 2000.


Why is it easy for chickens to talk???? Because talk is cheep!!!!! Sonda in Ks.

-- Sonda (sgbruce@birch.net), September 26, 2000.

What do chickens grow on????? Eggplants!!!!

-- Sonda (sgbruce@birch.net), September 26, 2000.

What do chickens grow on????? Eggplants!!!!Sonda is Ks.

-- Sonda (sgbruce@birch.net), September 26, 2000.

Why was the chicken sick??????? She had people pox!!!! Sonda in Ks. -- TAG YOU IT!!!

-- Sonda (sgbruce@birch.net), September 26, 2000.

Why did the turkey cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken.

-- Laura (gsend@hotmail.com), September 26, 2000.



Another reason the chicken crossed the road--

To prove to the possum that it could be done.

-- John D. in Pa (mrmopar@penn.com), September 26, 2000.


Ok, I'll change species.

What do you get when you cross a sheep with a pair of knitting needles?

I don't know, but it can knit it's own sweaters!

-- Leann Banta (thelionandlamb@hotmail.com), September 26, 2000.


And why did the clam cross the road?

To get to the other tide.

Gerbil

-- Gerbil (ima_gerbil@hotmail.com), September 26, 2000.


we dont chickens wear underwear?

because their peckers are on their face." ok. its a little rude but its funny"here is another one... why dont roosters lay eggs?.....because they are to busy laying the hens.

better stop now before i am black balled off.

-- renee oneill (oneillsr@home.com), September 26, 2000.


What happen to the chicken when it's feathers were all pointing the wrong direction???? She was tickled to death!!! Sonda in Ks.

-- Sonda (sgbruce@birch.net), September 26, 2000.


What do you call a greasy chicken???? A slick chick!! Sonda in Ks.

-- Sonda (sgbruce@birch.net), September 26, 2000.

What masked bird rides a horse & is always running away from danger? The lone chicken!!! Sonda in Ks.

-- Sonda (sgbruce@birch.net), September 26, 2000.

What kind of jokes do chickens like best???? Corney ones!!!!! Sonda in Ks.

-- Sonda (sgbruce@birch.net), September 26, 2000.

This thread is for the birds. I think you all should just LAY off. I can hardly believe the low quality of the YOLKS on this forum.

-- Soni (thomkilroy@hotmail.com), September 26, 2000.

Awww - quit your squawking, Soni!

(tee-hee!)

-- Polly (tigger@moultrie.com), September 26, 2000.


What kind of weather do chickens like best?????? Fowl weather!!!! Sonda in Ks.

-- Sonda (sgbruce@birch.net), September 26, 2000.

How do you mail a chicken????? In a hen-velope!!!! Sonda in Ks.

-- Sonda (sgbruce@birch.net), September 26, 2000.

Why should you never tell a joke to an egg???? Cause it might crack up!! Sonda in Ks.

-- Sonda (sgbruce@birch.net), September 26, 2000.

Why do chickens scratch???? They probably itch!!! Sonda in Ks.

-- Sonda (sgbruce@birch.net), September 26, 2000.

What do chickens serve at birthday parties?? Coop-cakes!!! Sonda in Ks.

-- Sonda (sgbruce@birch.net), September 26, 2000.

what award did the chicken farmer earn?? The pullet-zer prize.

-- John D. in Pa. (mrmopar@penn.com), September 26, 2000.

Why did the chicken cross the road /roll in the mud & cross the road again?????? Because he was a dirty double crosser!!! Sonda in Ks.

-- Sonda (sgbruce@birch.net), September 26, 2000.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

-- glynnis in KY (gabbycab@msn.com), September 27, 2000.


I don't have any chicken jokes, but thought these were some good clean ones.

Q) Why don't elephants sweat? A) Because the don't have armpits.

Q) Why are elephants wrinkled? A) Did you ever try to iron an elephant?

Q) Why was the baby strawberry crying? A) Because it's mother was in a jam and it didn't know what to do.

-- Eric in TN (ems@nac.net), September 28, 2000.


Just found this one!

The little girl was walking in the garden. She happened to see a peacock, a bird she had never seen before. After gazing in silent admiration, she ran into the house and cried out, "Oh, Granny, come and see. One of your chickens is in bloom!"

-- Eric in TN (ems@nac.net), September 28, 2000.


One night, the Potato famiy, consisting of Mother Potato and her three daughters, sat down to dinner. Midway thru the meal, the eldest daughter spoke up. "Mother Potato, I have an announcement to make. I'm getting married!" "Married! That's wonderful! Who are you marrying?" "I'm marrying a Russet" repled the daugher. "Oh, a Russet is a fine tater." Shortly after, the middle daughter spoke up and said "I, too, am getting married!" "And who are you marrying?", enquired Mother Potato. "I'm marrying an Idaho!" beamed the middle daughter. "Oh," Mother answered, very pleased, "An Idaho is a fine tater!" During all the excitement, the youngest daughter exclaimed, "I hope this won't be too shocking, but I, too, am getting married." "Really?" said Mother Potato. "Who are you marrying?" "I'm marrying Dan Rather!" "Dan Rather??" said Mother Potato, scowling. "But he's just a common tater!"

-- Cathy Horn (hrnofplnty@webtv.net), September 30, 2000.

What do you get when you cross a Brahma bull with red long handles? ...

Out of that pasture like greased lightening to find where you left your pants.

-- Jay Blair (jayblair678@yahoo.com), October 03, 2000.


Had to revive this thread when I heard this one......

A farmer lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate. The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day. So one day he called the sheriff's office and said, "You've got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens."

"What do you want me to do?" asked the sheriff.

"I don't care, just do something about those drivers!"

So the next day he had the county workers go out and erect a sign that said:

SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING

Three days later the farmer called the sheriff and said, "You've got to do something about these drivers. The 'school crossing' sign seems to make them go faster."

So, again, the sheriff sends out the county workers and they put up a new sign:

SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY

And that really sped them up. So the farmer called and called and called everyday for three weeks. Finally, he asked the sheriff, "Your signs are doing no good. Is it all right for me to put up my own sign?"

The sheriff told him, "Sure thing, put up your own sign." He was going to let the farmer do just about anything in order to have him stop calling. Well, the sheriff got no more calls from the farmer.

Three weeks after the farmers last call, the sheriff decided to call him. "How's the problem with those drivers. Did you put up your sign?"

"Oh, I sure did. And not one chicken has been killed since then. I've got to go. I'm very busy." And he hung up the phone.

The sheriff thought to himself, "I'd better go to that farmer's house and look at that sign... There might be something there that WE could use to slow down drivers."

So the sheriff drove out to the farmer's house, and he saw the sign. It was a whole sheet of plywood. And written in large yellow letters were the words:

SLOW: NUDIST COLONY

-- Anne (HealthyTouch101@wildmail.com), May 01, 2001.


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