This guy brings a very limp dog into the veterianary clinic. As he laid the dog on the table, the doctor pulled out his stethoscope, placing the receptor on the dog's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm sorry, but your dog has passed away." "What?" screamed the man. "How can you tell? You haven't done any testing on him or anything. I want another opinion!"

With that, the vet turned and left the room. In a few moments, he returned with a Labrador Retriever. The retriever when right to work, checking the poor dead dog out thoroughly. After a considerable amount of sniffing, the retriever sadly shook his head and said, "Bark."

The veterinarian then took the Labrador out and returned in a few minutes with a cat, who also checked out the poor dog on the table. As had his predeccors, the cat sadly shook his head and said, "Meow." He then jumped off of the table and ran out of the room.

The veterinarian handed the man a bill for $600. The dog's owner went postal. "$600! Just to tell me my dog is dead? Why this is outrageous!"

The vet shook his head sadly and explained. "If you had taken my word for it, there would not have been a charge, but with the Lab work and the cat scan..."

-- Ken S. in WC TN (scharabo@aol.com), September 19, 2000

Answers

Ken, actually my vet DOES have a "cat scan". He's always got homeless cats roaming through his office and one crippled one is a special pet. The cat loves to jump up on the table and help with the exams and procedures. Gerbil

-- Gerbil (ima_gerbil@hotmail.com), September 19, 2000.

Ken: Very funny! Several years ago, when I was working for a group of physicians, I got a call during lunch, informing me that our dog had been run over while chasing a propane truck. Our son rushed him into town to his own vet, who called me to inform me that he had "cracked his chest and done cardio massage, to no avail". I repeated to him "you cracked his chest???" and everyone thought I was talking about a family member, as I told the vet I didn't think that was necessary, as our son was sure the dog was dead when he arrived at the office. People thought I was really cold hearted, thinking I was referring to my husband, and wondering why I wouldn't want everything possible done to save him. They did only charge $175 for that visit tho... Jan

-- Jan in Colorado (Janice12@aol.com), September 19, 2000.