BBS Corinthian League Match 30

Last League game of the season. 13 December 1997, Barnsley away, we drew 2-2. The first game I ever listened to on Metro Radio as I stayed up at my Sister's house in Walker after coming up for the Dynamo Kiev game during the week (where I first met Steph). They only showed the goals on MotD and from what I remember from the radio commentary, Barnsley turned the tiny Oakwell pitch to their advantage by never allowing visiting teams a chance to catch their breath. Redfearn had put Barnsley ahead before Gillespie scored 2 in 5 minutes and then Hendrie inevitably popped up with an equalizer with 15 minutes to go.

Points Hislop 2 Batty 1 (booked) Peacock 1 (booked) Lee 2 Barnes 2 Asprilla 2 Tomasson 1 (sub) Pearce 2 Gillespie 8 (2 goals) Watson 2 Pistone 1 (booked) Albert 1 (booked)

Results: Match 30

BBS Premier Corinthian League

Duncan's Disorderlies	0-1	Athletico Backworth
Dabizas Pleazas	1-0	Barton's Samba
Brewery Droopers United	5-3	Beardo United
MacBeth's Marauders	0-3	Borussia Canwehaveourballbach
Toon Goons	3-2	MinesaS&N Academicals
Wallsend Old Boys	0-4	Pilgrim's Converts
Woodstock County	2-0	Proper Lard Unathletic
Yelli's Yobs	6-0	Steph's Superstars

BBS Notionless League Division 1

Howdon Harriers	4-3	Baxter Basics
Dudley Boys	0-0	Blaydon Racers
Corinthian Smart-Casuals	0-1	Carlisle United Revisited
ITK Heaton World Beaters	0-4	Chevy's Choppers
Screacher's Creatures	4-0	Jessie's High Pants
Spayne	1-0	Pete's Porkie Pies
The Gallowgate	0-4	Quantum Mechanicals
The Stellar Warriors	6-0	Real Zaragossy

BBS Notionless League Division 2

Gallowgateaserai	0-4	Bewildered De Builders
FC Jumpers for Goal Posts	6-1	Ceptic
FC Forget-Me-Nots	0-0	Doomed United
Preston Big End	5-3	Douglas All Boys (B) Team
Superstitious FC	0-0	Real Seghill
The Entertainers	5-0	Sexy Boys
Toon Gutter Snipes	0-3	Shilbottle WMC
Unaccountable Wild-elf Bottles	0-1	SS Enterprise

BBS Premier Corinthian League Table

Position	Team	Manager	Won	Dwn	Lst	G/F	G/A	G/Dif	Points
1	C Pilgrim's Converts	Pilgrim	18	7	5	73	37	36	61
2	Brewery Droopers United	Windy	18	2	10	71	44	27	56
3	MinesaS&N Academicals	muzzainoz	17	5	8	67	40	27	56
4	Yelli's Yobs	Yelli	15	8	7	70	49	21	53
5	Steph's Superstars	Steph	13	6	11	52	51	1	45
6	Borussia Canwehaveourballbach	SMB	12	7	11	61	57	4	43
7	Toon Goons	Ciara	12	7	11	58	56	2	43
8	Athletico Backworth	Jonno	11	9	10	50	50	0	42
9	Dabizas Pleazas	PeteT	12	6	12	37	54	-17	42
10	Beardo United	Beardo	12	5	13	73	63	10	41
11	Barton's Samba	Barton	10	6	14	41	60	-19	36
12	Proper Lard Unathletic	Tony Green jnr	9	6	15	48	55	-7	33
13	Woodstock County	Cliff	9	5	16	41	46	-5	32
14	R Duncan's Disorderlies	Dunx	9	5	16	40	55	-15	32
15	R MacBeth's Marauders	MacBeth	7	8	15	39	66	-27	29
16	R Wallsend Old Boys	Hiro	8	4	18	41	78	-37	28

Woodstock County's 2-0 win saves them on the final day as the fans of Duncan's Disorderlies cover their eyes in horror. At the other end, Pilgrim's Converts stopped buggering about and finished on a high note: congratulations, worthy champions.

BBS Notionless League Division 1 Table

Position	Team	Manager	Won	Dwn	Lst	G/F	G/A	G/Dif	Points
1	C Howdon Harriers	Softie	18	4	8	71	45	26	58
2	P The Stellar Warriors	Galaxy	16	6	8	67	50	17	54
3	Quantum Mechanicals	True	15	8	7	65	42	23	53
4	Carlisle United Revisited	Scratchy	15	6	9	61	45	16	51
5	Baxter Basics	Baxter	14	4	12	54	51	3	46
6	Screacher's Creatures	Screacher	12	9	9	65	53	12	45
7	Blaydon Racers	Geordie	11	11	8	54	46	8	44
8	Spayne	Kevin Koogan (Garcie)	11	7	12	48	55	-7	40
9	Jessie's High Pants	Loony Toon	12	3	15	39	51	-12	39
10	Pete's Porkie Pies	Pete in Canada	10	8	12	33	34	-1	38
11	The Gallowgate	Kegsy	11	4	15	46	69	-23	37
12	ITK Heaton World Beaters	ITK	10	6	14	28	46	-18	36
13	Real Zaragossy	Dr Bill	10	5	15	53	63	-10	35
14	R Dudley Boys	Hayley	8	8	14	35	51	-16	32
15	R Chevy's Choppers	Chevy	7	9	14	45	55	-10	30
16	R Corinthian Smart-Casuals	The Geordie Jew	8	6	16	36	55	-19	30

Congratulations to The Stellar Warriors on clinching the second automatic promotion spot, but the paparazzi will be attending the next bbs curry night to watch the fireworks when Geordie confronts Screacher about being pipped to the playoff spots.

BBS Notionless League Division 2 Table

Position	Team	Manager	Won	Dwn	Lst	G/F	G/A	G/Dif	Points
1	C FC Jumpers for Goal Posts	Tom	19	7	4	79	34	45	64
2	P Preston Big End	clarky	18	4	8	67	44	23	58
3	Shilbottle WMC	Gus	16	8	6	59	41	18	56
4	The Entertainers	Kevin Keegan	15	6	9	98	50	48	51
5	Superstitious FC	Gav	12	9	9	72	65	7	45
6	Douglas All Boys (B) Team	Gibbo	13	6	11	71	65	6	45
7	Toon Gutter Snipes	Tre	13	5	12	50	65	-15	44
8	SS Enterprise	Elliot	12	7	11	52	47	5	43
9	Unaccountable Wild-elf Bottles	Josh	13	4	13	53	64	-11	43
10	Real Seghill	Juano	11	9	10	54	46	8	42
11	Bewildered De Builders	De Builder	11	5	14	66	67	-1	38
12	FC Forget-Me-Nots	Robby Bobson	11	5	14	36	55	-19	38
13	Gallowgateaserai	Pit Bill	9	6	15	38	56	-18	33
14	Doomed United	Dougal	9	5	16	43	51	-8	32
15	Sexy Boys	Ruud Gullit	7	2	21	32	69	-37	23
16	R Ceptic	TSM	6	2	22	24	85	-61	20

Clarky takes the other automatic promotion place, and TSM's Ceptic have fallen through the League trapdoor....doubtless he is planning to sue Ceptic if they decide to dispense with his unique managerial qualities.

The playoffs will be held over the next week before the Cup Final.

-- Anonymous, September 18, 2000

Answers

Athletico board issue a "Vote of Confidence" in Jonno.

So Athletico's championship season has been followed by a season of mid-table mediocrity. Jonno, who arrived with Athletico on the crest of a wave was expected to pilot Backworth to further success after his sparkling track record with Deportivo la Bog Houses and Sporting Club High Pit. "All that's needed is a little bit of tinkering with the defence" said Jonno as he sold off Athletico's star strikers and creative players and brought in several players who had retired 3 seasons ago.

After an indifferent season his name is now not mentioned in Backworth at all and people will speak only of "The Seghill Manager" or TSM as Jonno hails from Athletico's hated near neighbours.

A tight-lipped ashen faced Jonno, pressed for comment last night, would only say, "The sh*t has hit the fan - I don't think he'll be coming back'.

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2000

"The sheet has heet the fan (but I couldn't have asked for more from my lads)" was the only comment from Real Seghill's manager after another 0-0 draw during which the sole spectator had turned around the other way on the Seghill Bandstand to watch the rugby on the other pitch.

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2000

Congratulations to Galaxy and her Stellar Warriors on pipping QMs - I observe with an air of amused detachment the success of Howdon Harriers, other than that I will say nowt.

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2000

I suppose we now go into the rounds of play-off games where the 6th place club go up....
So well done Screach and Gibbo.

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2000

Gentlemen,

It is with regret that I report that I have accepted the resignation of Geordie as Team Manager for the Blaydon Racers. It appears he was not prepared to continue to work on an 'uneven playing field'.

He is to lead a task force investigating corruption in the BBSCL hierarchy. I wish him well in his new career.

A further announcement will be made regarding a replacement.

Eastcopse

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2000

Congratulations to Softie, Tom and Clarky, and also, of course, Pilgrim. Also noticed Gav making a late run - next season eh?(:o)

Thanks Softie for the time this must have taken you - is the rug-rat going to put pay to the Corinthians League now?

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2000

Runners up twice in a row - methinks Trophyless Park is aptly named. Have to concede, though, that the Converts always seemed to have the measure of us, and it always seemed like a battle for second place.

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2000

Wow! Can't f'in believe it! I was convinced Muzzainoz was going to pip me. Hard Luck there Muzza! I feel like I've just walked out of a pantomime (Look Behind You). That RNG is a right tw@t! Well done Windy for the late, late show. See you both in the Champions League.

Softie - I can stop giving you a hard time now. Mind you wouldn't bite - I reckon fatherhood has made you even softer! :o)) Thanks for a great competition.

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2000

Finish the season as I started, with a thrashing. Oh well there's always next year.

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2000

As usual the winners have made it by dint of their defence as much as anything. A number of other teams were there or thereabouts with the number of goals scored - notably Beardo - but the Converts were streaks ahead of most with their defensive record. Well done....boring b@stards :-))))

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2000

Woo Hoo I made the play offs....what an acheivement in my first season as manager!!

Now lets see if I can beat Gus again ;))

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2000

"F*ck"

Hiro :- Manager, Wallsend Old Boys.

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2000

WHY AM I SO SHIT?

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2000

Phew! Can't believe we've actually made it in the 2nd automatic place after a real dodgy spell in mid-season - needed a hard fought 5-3 win against Gibbo's lads in the final game, with our defence "doing a Keegan"!

Commiserations to Gus's Shilbottle boys who gave us one hell of a fright, right to the end - good luck in the play-offs.

Need to turn our minds now to strengthening the squad and finding a 'big-bucks' benefactor to bank-roll the transfer activity - wonder if Mohamed Al Fathead would be interested?

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2000

relegated - and we win 2 games by 4 goals. Look at the Goals for - just need to get the defence sorted out.

-- Anonymous, September 19, 2000

Softie,

In the interests of fairness, going into the playoffs, I'd like to withdraw my earlier bribe offers. However, as a gesture of good will, could you please pick us all a good couple of games from the 96/7 season?

The beer is in the post!!!

-- Anonymous, September 20, 2000

I loose my internet access and my team falls apart. I really thougth my dudley boys were up to the job. I feel like daglish on a bad day...

-- Anonymous, September 28, 2000

Hi Hayley,

Does feeling like Dalglish on a bad day mean that you are delighted with the commitment shown by your players and couldn't have asked any more of them? :-)

-- Anonymous, September 28, 2000

"Hayley Patterson". I've just seen this and the name rings a bell. Where do you live and what school did you go to, if you don't mind me asking!

-- Anonymous, September 28, 2000

She lives in the flat above Roy's Rolls in Weatherfield doesn't she!

-- Anonymous, September 28, 2000

yep ITK is right - i do love roy cropper. No really i live in cramlington and Went to seaton burn high school.

-- Anonymous, September 29, 2000

.....and was previosuly called Harold!

-- Anonymous, September 29, 2000

You know me sooo well - are you sure that isn't you - roy????

-- Anonymous, September 29, 2000

nah......VERA

-- Anonymous, September 29, 2000

is that the next big explosive story line (hayley returns to being harold and has a passionate affair with vera)??

-- Anonymous, September 29, 2000

No the next BIG Corry storyline is that The Environmental Health people raid the Rovers, snatch the latest batch of Betty's Hot- Pot, and when it is analysed it is found that it contains the remains of.................Andy MacDonald!!!!

Well, he goes off for a summer job in Ibiza.....Jim and Liz seperate, Jim has a fight with Steve, falls off the scaffolding and ends up fighting for life.....he is then confined to a wheelchair.......Liz is filled with remorse and moves back in.......she then ups and buggers off to Milton Keynes (why MK!) with his physio......Steve gets involved in drugs smuggling and goes to prison......Jim makes a miraculous recovery and starts walking again......catch yer self on liz-beth......now out of prison Steve starts a taxi business.....on top of his building firm (this boys knows diversification) and again falls in with bad company......gets beaten to within an inch of his life.....Jim doesn't like to see his little lad on a life support machine so goes after the bloke who had it done.....he hits him once he falls over, ends up in hospital with multiple injuries......starts to get better and goes to threaten Steve again.....has a relapse and collapses over Steve and dies..........Jim gives himself up and ends up in 'The Big Huuse' and throughout all of this, brother/son Andy makes no attempt to come home and see anyone......why........because he has been in Betty's freezer....that's why!

However.....some may say just a normal day in some parts of Manchester have a good trip there tomorrow people!

-- Anonymous, September 29, 2000

hahaha - good point.

-- Anonymous, September 29, 2000