What was the hardest thing you ever had to tell your parents?

-- Anonymous, August 25, 2000

Answers

try telling your parents, catholic parents, you are gay it's not easy

or try telling them you are suicidal, not easy either

-- Anonymous, August 25, 2000

Telling my parents I was pregnant. To say they went ballistic is an understatement. I will NEVER live that down. Never.

-- Anonymous, August 25, 2000

Telling my parents I was depressed and stuff and on the verge of being suicidal was really hard for me. I hated that cause they didnt believe me

-- Anonymous, August 25, 2000

The hardest thing I ever had to tell my parents was that I (a) *was* pregnant and (b) am no longer pregnant due to a miscarriage. That sucked a whole lot.

Second to that, telling them that I didn't want to come back "home" for the summer. That was rough.

-- Anonymous, August 25, 2000

Same as Tiffany. I finally got up the nerve to tell my parents how depressed I had been throughout my junior and senior years of high school, and they basically just laughed it off. Same thing when I said I wanted to see a psychologist.

Also, it was tough having to ask my parents if I could travel one thousand miles by myself to meet a guy from online. This was totally out of the blue; they had no idea who he was or that I'd been talking on the phone to him for the past months. I wasn't exactly a seasoned traveler at that time, and I didn't interact much with guys then either, so it was a very un-Laurielike request.

-- Anonymous, August 25, 2000

Telling them I wanted to leave university. (Why do I keep coming back to this topic in these forums? I never discuss it normally.) Luckily, my tutor eventually did that for me, but I did write a smudged 2000- word-long Letter O' Angst, because I couldn't bring myself to make a phonecall. Actually, I had to talk to them on the phone every day for a week and *not* tell them because they were on holiday and I felt too bad to mention it to them. That was more difficult still.

-- Anonymous, August 25, 2000

Telling my mom I was a lesbian was the hardest thing I've ever had to say to her face. I couldn't even utter the "L" word. I told her I was "gay". That was when I was a junior in college, which was about 12 years ago. Since that time she's become a fundamentalist Christian--but she's also gotten over the fact that it's "just a phase." She still blames my women's studies classes for bringing my out. What a laugh!

At this point in my life I am looking toward having a child with my partner. We have a donor and just need to make a final decision. I think the second hardest thing I will tell my mother is that I am pregnant. I'll wait til the start of my 2nd trimester, when miscarraige is no longer a threat. If I miscarry or decide to abort due to birth defects (not sure I would really choose this), I wouldn't tell her. The good thing is that now, at 33, I no longer look for her approval.

-- Anonymous, August 25, 2000

First of all, the answer to the question is telling my parents that I wanted to have sex w/ my boyfriend (actually, I already WAS, so it was kind of a lie) and needed to go to the doctor, and all that good stuff. I made my mother CRY.

Second of all, Katie, I think I kind of know how you feel. I'm starting college on Wednesday, and when I read your last few entries, I kept thinking about how horrible it would be if I had to live in a dorm. I had to spend the night for orientation in june, and I absolutely hated it. I could NOT imagine actually living in such a small space with so many other people. I'm living at home, and while it will be a lot of driving back and forth, I think I'll be much happier here. As another commuter said to me during orientation, "I couldn't live here. If you live here, school never ends!" I kind of feel as if I'm too different people sometimes: public-holly, who goes to school and is mostly silent and reserved, and home-holly, who is comfortable and relaxed. If I LIVED at school, I'd never get to be home-holly, and I couldn't handle that.

I've been getting sort of depressed when I think about starting college. Before now, I was just thinking about finding my classes, buying my books, wondering if there's a fitness center on campus, etc, but now I'm realizing that there's going to be PEOPLE there... and I just don't like being surrounded by people. Katie, I don't blame you at all. I would sink into a major depression if I had to do what you're doing. I don't know if your situation is a very different from mine, but I think of kind of understand how you're feeling.

-- Anonymous, August 25, 2000

I just had told my mom that I wasn't happy at home and I was fast tracking high school so I could start University and be on my own. I couldn't explain to my mother how I loved her so much and I thanked her for spoiling me rotten and giving me everything in the world, but buying me things doesn't buy my love and I was unhappy at home. That was hard, we cried and she still hasn't let it go.

Its hard to just say "I love you so much" now without her bringing it up that I want to leave her. (My dad passed away 2 years ago and she has a fear of people leaving her)

-- Anonymous, August 25, 2000

Telling my parents that I was (female-to-male) transsexual. My parents reacted really well considering (although, strangely enough, my super-liberal dad is having a hard time understanding while my somewhat-bigoted mother is doing really really well) and it's funny, because now that I've told them *this*, nothing else seems like big news to them (the fact that I'm also bi/pansexual and tend to date people my own gender [that is, male], isn't even an *is

-- Anonymous, August 25, 2000

The hardest thing I ever had to tell my parents..Well. There are two. One was about my clinical depression my second semester of college. The second was that I was going on *medication* to cope. Okay, three. The third was that I was unsure about my sexuality and dating a girl. It was also difficult to go back to them and tell them that after my experiences and experimenting, I was relatively certain that I wasn't bisexual.

-- Anonymous, August 26, 2000

ida know, katie. i just got to college last thursday, and even though i'm abso-fucking-lutely *nothing* like all of the other gap- infested, yuppie kids here, i'm liking it just fine. the whole independence thing is nice, plus a change of pace can be a rather good thing. i'm feeling very settled in already, surprisingly enough. and as trite as this will sound, it's true: get involved. the best way to make yourself feel more at home somewhere is to get better acquainted with the people around you, and the best way to do that is to engage in activities that will allow you to meet a lot of them. and even though they might be your complete opposites, there's always at least something that you can learn from any person. ok, enough pedagogical advice...just try not to be so quick to condemn college life, it's not as bad as you're making it out to be.

-- Anonymous, August 26, 2000

Man, and I thought my life was whack! Reading some of these posts here made me realize just how fortunate I am to have had such a *normal* life! :o) The hardest thing I've ever had to tell my parents was that I wasn't sure if I believed in God. I do, but it wasn't until I found him for myself that I really believed in him. So that was hard for them, considering I've grown up in church my whole life and they've never once given me any reason to question his existance. Anyway.

-- Anonymous, August 26, 2000

The hardest thing for me sofar was telling my mom that I'm bisexual. She's a rather liberal person, so long as it's issues that don't concern her directly. Needless to say, it didn't go well...it pretty much was "uh...mom? I'm, uh...bi." She thought it was a phase, she refused to hear me out. I don't think it really sunk in until I brought my girlfriend at the time home. She's trying hard to understand me now, but it's still really akward.

I don't feel I could ever tell my dad.

-- Anonymous, August 26, 2000

Telling my parents that I was bi, and dating a girl, and wanted to bring her to a family wedding (yup, all at once - in retrospect it would have been better to spread that out a little) was the toughest thing that I ever had to tell them - my father (who's a true family man) was way more supportive than my mother. It was compounded a dozen times when my parents found out that their other daughter (my youngers sister by 14 months) was also bi. Ugh. I took the brunt for that one too.

-- Anonymous, August 27, 2000

The toughest thing I'd ever told my mom was, when I had missed my period and she asked me if I could be pregnant, I had to say yes. That was...horrible. But I think the tough part is just about to come up when I tell them, like Laurie mentioned, that I want to travel 5,000 miles to meet a guy I fell for online (although I may not have to tell them) or, if things work out, telling my parents about him. My father will...hell, I don't know *what* he'd do. Not only is it an inter-racial relationship, it started online. But I'll tell them someday soon...I don't want to keep it from them.

*shudders in fear at the thought*

-- Anonymous, August 27, 2000

The hardest thing I've told my (Catholic) parents was that I don't believe in Jesus anymore and don't want to be a part of the Catholic church. They didn't take it very well - when I'm home from college they still make me go to church every Sunday...

-- Anonymous, August 27, 2000

The hardest thing I've ever had to tell my mother was that I didn't want to live with her anymore. She completely freaked.

-- Anonymous, August 27, 2000

The hardest was definatly telling them I don't believe in god - at all - and the fact that I have to keep reaffirming that. In retrospect, it really wasn't so hard because it had to be done. Other than that, I don't tell my parents any of the trivial things. They live in their ignorant world where they think I tell them virtually everything, and if it keeps them happy, so be it.

-- Anonymous, August 27, 2000

The hardest thing I ever had to tell my father was that I was getting married and moving. I still consider the dinner that I broke that news the worst evening of my life. Just driving past the place tensed me up! He basically freaked out. Told me he would not pay for my college anymore, that my marriage wouldn't last longer than 6 months, and so on. Well, here I am, in another state, married for one year and I'm still in school full-time. Actually, in a better university than I was while I was in Texas. My father has settled down a lot. He paid to fly my husband and me down this summer, which was really nice. He still will not help at all with college, but that's okay. That's his thing. The only thing that bothers me is in a recent conversation he mentioned in passing "I'm just so disappointed in both of my children". Granted he and my brother aren't even on speaking terms and there are very good reasons for my father to be disappointed in him, but I was really really hurt by that comment. Other than getting married (which has only enhanced my life) I have done nothing to disappoint him. Oh well, I guess I can't ask him to approve of it. At least he doesn't give me crap about it...ever. Not after that first night.

-- Anonymous, August 28, 2000

That I hadn't got the grades I needed to get into university. I knew they'd be shattered, and they were. In 19 years, I've only seen my mother cry twice - when her mother died, and when I told her my grades.

They were great afterwards, but telling them was pretty much the hardest thing I've done in my entire life.

-- Anonymous, August 28, 2000

telling my parents that i was A) dropping out of school B) moving to another country C) that i was moving there to be with my then- girlfriend, meaning i was/am/forever will be, YES, MOM, gay...and that i was leaving in two weeks. and then i did. and they still haven't quite gotten over it. :) but, in the end, what i have learned is that no one has to live your life but you, and you have to do what is best for YOU...regardless of what may happen. good luck

-- Anonymous, September 04, 2000

telling my mom that the girl that she met at my house was my girlfriend.

so basically, telling her i was a lesbian.

telling my dad was a lot easier since he has been asking if i was for the last 4 years.

my mom still thinks i'm too young to know and said we'll have to see in a few more years.

" they say you're young too young to know how much you feel thank horomones but anyone can tell add insult to injury "

-- Anonymous, November 30, 2000

man you all go and fuck your self and suck my dick

-- Anonymous, June 01, 2001