10 February 1996, Smoggies away, we won 2-1. The mutants went in at half time 1-0 up courtesy of a Bez own goal (which he won't be credited for, spreadsheet fans), but Watson and Ferdinand made it 2-1 with 15 minutes to go.
Points
Srnicek 3
Barton 2
Beresford 2
Peacock 2
Clark 2
Lee 2
Ferdinand 4 (goal)
Albert 2
Gillespie 2
Asprilla 1 (sub)
Watson 6 (goal)
Beardsley 2
|
Results: Match 25
BBS Premier Corinthian League
| Borussia Canwehaveourballbach | 1-0 | Athletico Backworth |
| Barton's Samba | 2-5 | Beardo United |
| MacBeth's Marauders | 1-2 | Brewery Droopers United |
| Dabizas Pleazas | 1-1 | Duncan's Disorderlies |
| Steph's Superstars | 1-1 | MinesaS&N Academicals |
| Pilgrim's Converts | 2-0 | Proper Lard Unathletic |
| Yelli's Yobs | 2-4 | Toon Goons |
| Wallsend Old Boys | 0-3 | Woodstock County |
BBS Notionless League Division 1
| Chevy's Choppers | 2-1 | Baxter Basics |
| Blaydon Racers | 1-5 | Carlisle United Revisited |
| ITK Heaton World Beaters | 2-0 | Corinthian Smart-Casuals |
| Dudley Boys | 1-3 | Howdon Harriers |
| Real Zaragossy | 0-2 | Jessie's High Pants |
| Pete's Porkie Pies | 1-1 | Quantum Mechanicals |
| The Stellar Warriors | 2-2 | Screacher's Creatures |
| Spayne | 2-4 | The Gallowgate |
BBS Notionless League Division 2
| Douglas All Boys (B) Team | 4-1 | Bewildered De Builders |
| Ceptic | 1-3 | Doomed United |
| Preston Big End | 5-0 | FC Forget-Me-Nots |
| FC Jumpers for Goal Posts | 5-0 | Gallowgateaserai |
| SS Enterprise | 2-0 | Real Seghill |
| Sexy Boys | 0-1 | Shilbottle WMC |
| Unaccountable Wild-elf Bottles | 1-3 | Superstitious FC |
| The Entertainers | 7-0 | Toon Gutter Snipes |
BBS Premier Corinthian League Table
| Position | Team | Manager | Won | Dwn | Lst | G/F | G/A | G/Dif | Points |
| 1 | Pilgrim's Converts | Pilgrim | 16 | 6 | 3 | 62 | 31 | 31 | 54 |
| 2 | MinesaS&N Academicals | muzzainoz | 13 | 5 | 7 | 52 | 36 | 16 | 44 |
| 3 | Brewery Droopers United | Windy | 14 | 1 | 10 | 52 | 38 | 14 | 43 |
| 4 | Yelli's Yobs | Yelli | 11 | 8 | 6 | 57 | 45 | 12 | 41 |
| 5 | Steph's Superstars | Steph | 11 | 6 | 8 | 49 | 38 | 11 | 39 |
| 6 | Athletico Backworth | Jonno | 10 | 7 | 8 | 45 | 42 | 3 | 37 |
| 7 | Borussia Canwehaveourballbach | SMB | 10 | 5 | 10 | 53 | 51 | 2 | 35 |
| 8 | Dabizas Pleazas | PeteT | 10 | 4 | 11 | 34 | 49 | -15 | 34 |
| 9 | Beardo United | Beardo | 9 | 5 | 11 | 55 | 53 | 2 | 32 |
| 10 | Barton's Samba | Barton | 9 | 4 | 12 | 29 | 49 | -20 | 31 |
| 11 | Proper Lard Unathletic | Tony Green jnr | 8 | 6 | 11 | 38 | 39 | -1 | 30 |
| 12 | Toon Goons | Ciara | 8 | 6 | 11 | 38 | 45 | -7 | 30 |
| 13 | MacBeth's Marauders | MacBeth | 7 | 7 | 11 | 35 | 49 | -14 | 28 |
| 14 | Wallsend Old Boys | Hiro | 8 | 4 | 13 | 41 | 63 | -22 | 28 |
| 15 | Woodstock County | Cliff | 7 | 5 | 13 | 35 | 37 | -2 | 26 |
| 16 | Duncan's Disorderlies | Dunx | 7 | 5 | 13 | 33 | 42 | -9 | 26 |
BBS Notionless League Division 1 Table
| Position | Team | Manager | Won | Dwn | Lst | G/F | G/A | G/Dif | Points |
| 1 | Howdon Harriers | Softie | 14 | 4 | 7 | 58 | 34 | 24 | 46 |
| 2 | Quantum Mechanicals | True | 13 | 7 | 5 | 51 | 32 | 19 | 46 |
| 3 | The Stellar Warriors | Galaxy | 13 | 6 | 6 | 53 | 39 | 14 | 45 |
| 4 | Carlisle United Revisited | Scratchy | 11 | 6 | 8 | 48 | 40 | 8 | 39 |
| 5 | Blaydon Racers | Geordie | 10 | 8 | 7 | 49 | 41 | 8 | 38 |
| 6 | Baxter Basics | Baxter | 11 | 4 | 10 | 40 | 42 | -2 | 37 |
| 7 | ITK Heaton World Beaters | ITK | 10 | 5 | 10 | 24 | 31 | -7 | 35 |
| 8 | Real Zaragossy | Dr Bill | 10 | 4 | 11 | 53 | 48 | 5 | 34 |
| 9 | Pete's Porkie Pies | Pete in Canada | 9 | 7 | 9 | 29 | 27 | 2 | 34 |
| 10 | Jessie's High Pants | Loony Toon | 10 | 3 | 12 | 31 | 36 | -5 | 33 |
| 11 | The Gallowgate | Kegsy | 9 | 4 | 12 | 38 | 56 | -18 | 31 |
| 12 | Screacher's Creatures | Screacher | 7 | 9 | 9 | 47 | 51 | -4 | 30 |
| 13 | Spayne | Kevin Koogan (Garcie) | 8 | 6 | 11 | 38 | 50 | -12 | 30 |
| 14 | Corinthian Smart-Casuals | The Geordie Jew | 8 | 5 | 12 | 34 | 44 | -10 | 29 |
| 15 | Dudley Boys | Hayley | 6 | 7 | 12 | 27 | 42 | -15 | 25 |
| 16 | Chevy's Choppers | Chevy | 5 | 7 | 13 | 32 | 48 | -16 | 22 |
We are top of the league, sing we are top of the league! Tee hee!
BBS Notionless League Division 2 Table
| Position | Team | Manager | Won | Dwn | Lst | G/F | G/A | G/Dif | Points |
| 1 | FC Jumpers for Goal Posts | Tom | 16 | 7 | 2 | 60 | 20 | 40 | 55 |
| 2 | Shilbottle WMC | Gus | 15 | 7 | 3 | 49 | 28 | 21 | 52 |
| 3 | Preston Big End | clarky | 14 | 4 | 7 | 55 | 34 | 21 | 46 |
| 4 | Real Seghill | Juano | 11 | 7 | 7 | 53 | 33 | 20 | 40 |
| 5 | Toon Gutter Snipes | Tre | 11 | 5 | 9 | 44 | 51 | -7 | 38 |
| 6 | The Entertainers | Kevin Keegan | 10 | 6 | 9 | 66 | 45 | 21 | 36 |
| 7 | FC Forget-Me-Nots | Robby Bobson | 11 | 2 | 12 | 36 | 48 | -12 | 35 |
| 8 | SS Enterprise | Elliot | 9 | 7 | 9 | 43 | 37 | 6 | 34 |
| 9 | Unaccountable Wild-elf Bottles | Josh | 10 | 4 | 11 | 46 | 54 | -8 | 34 |
| 10 | Douglas All Boys (B) Team | Gibbo | 9 | 6 | 10 | 49 | 58 | -9 | 33 |
| 11 | Superstitious FC | Gav | 8 | 8 | 9 | 54 | 62 | -8 | 32 |
| 12 | Bewildered De Builders | De Builder | 8 | 5 | 12 | 49 | 56 | -7 | 29 |
| 13 | Gallowgateaserai | Pit Bill | 8 | 5 | 12 | 34 | 42 | -8 | 29 |
| 14 | Doomed United | Dougal | 7 | 4 | 14 | 30 | 42 | -12 | 25 |
| 15 | Sexy Boys | Ruud Gullit | 7 | 2 | 16 | 32 | 54 | -22 | 23 |
| 16 | Ceptic | TSM | 6 | 1 | 18 | 23 | 69 | -46 | 19 |
Astoundingly, only 8 teams in the entire league are mathematically safe from relegation with 5 games to play...gibber.
Fixtures: Match 26
BBS Premier Corinthian League
| Athletico Backworth | Vs | MacBeth's Marauders |
| Beardo United | Vs | Dabizas Pleazas |
| Brewery Droopers United | Vs | Borussia Canwehaveourballbach |
| Duncan's Disorderlies | Vs | Barton's Samba |
| MinesaS&N Academicals | Vs | Yelli's Yobs |
| Proper Lard Unathletic | Vs | Wallsend Old Boys |
| Toon Goons | Vs | Steph's Superstars |
| Woodstock County | Vs | Pilgrim's Converts |
BBS Notionless League Division 1
| Baxter Basics | Vs | ITK Heaton World Beaters |
| Carlisle United Revisited | Vs | Dudley Boys |
| Corinthian Smart-Casuals | Vs | Chevy's Choppers |
| Howdon Harriers | Vs | Blaydon Racers |
| Jessie's High Pants | Vs | The Stellar Warriors |
| Quantum Mechanicals | Vs | Spayne |
| Screacher's Creatures | Vs | Real Zaragossy |
| The Gallowgate | Vs | Pete's Porkie Pies |
BBS Notionless League Division 2
| Bewildered De Builders | Vs | Preston Big End |
| Doomed United | Vs | FC Jumpers for Goal Posts |
| FC Forget-Me-Nots | Vs | Douglas All Boys (B) Team |
| Gallowgateaserai | Vs | Ceptic |
| Real Seghill | Vs | Unaccountable Wild-elf Bottles |
| Shilbottle WMC | Vs | The Entertainers |
| Superstitious FC | Vs | SS Enterprise |
| Toon Gutter Snipes | Vs | Sexy Boys |
-- Anonymous, August 24, 2000