Good game tonight. Finished 2-2 with Coppinger and Amoebi scoring for us and Marinelli and Maddison for them. Full report to follow.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2000

Answers

Excellent and exciting game at Kingston Park tonight. Losing the hangers on has definitely improved the competitiveness of these encounters, and has clearly added to the team spirit. Over 800 (including YBR and Dyer  as Steph assures me) were treated to a fast flowing and spirited encounter. NUFC lined up with the worlds lightest midfield of all time:

Karelse  made 2 or 3 fine stops in the first half from point blank range to calm the jitters evident in the side.

Charvet  pretty ineffective to start with, but started getting up field well in the second half and was floating in front of goal as a kind of spare forward before he was subbed.

Serrant  excellent display (really!). Cut out most of the danger down our left and constantly tracked back and made himself available on the counter. One of 3 players to take corners and put in some canny crosses and even found time to sell a few dummies to his marker (he warranted one after a bit). One swallow etc, but very encouraging.

Kerr  at times seemed to be playing a bit deep, and needs to develop finishing to match his wonderful close control, but acquitted himself well in a more central role.

Stephen Caldwell  playing as skipper (since Arnison moved on) and mostly coped well.

Gary Caldwell  got forward more than his brother, but also handled the ball in the box to allow Boro to get the lead at the start from the spot.

Gavilan  superb. Delightful display. He runs like the wind, goes round his man, crosses with accuracy, amazing tricks on the ball, tackles back when he loses the ball (seldom), catches the eye of his teammates when he moves into space, passes sublimely under pressure, stays on his feet whilst being yanked about by Smoggie twats and forced 3 great saves from Marlon Beresford. Thoroughly deserved a massive ovation from everyone when subbed.

McClen  Argh! Sometimes so wonderful, sometimes so pants. Wouldnt want to stifle his self-expression, because when it goes for him hes very very good, but when it doesnt hes a liability. Still has the dreadful habit of getting cock-a-whoop when he pulls off a bit of sleight of foot and overdoes it the next time and gives away possession.

Coppinger  As soon as they stopped hoofing the ball into the box but passed it at feet, Coppy stroked the ball past Beresford. Still too slight to make it in the Prem but utterly worth hanging onto for the player he will be next season. So much of our good play came through Coppy that his class cannot be ignored.

Ameobi  still skinny and lanky, but has been put on a weights course by the looks of things and has been taught to put himself about and get up to head the ball. Very fast and a great fighter with a very direct approach. Lashed in a scorcher tonight.

Glass  whats happened to Stephen Glass? He seems to have lost his confidence. Some of his long passes were bad enough to have been made by Gary Speed. He is really being helped by the team spirit, mind, because not once did any of his teammates whinge and whine about his misplaced efforts, in stark contrast to how it was when Maric, Andersson, Pearce and Barnes used to be taking up space.

Hamilton  on as sub. Ran around a lot but failed to make the fresh legs count.

McGuffie  plaed as right fullback. Floppy blonde hair and rangy figure reminded me horribly of Andreas Andersson and I was stuck in this terrible Nam veteran style flashback so couldnt really judge him.

The highlights were the tempo it was played at and the amazingly slick interpassing which set up 8 or 9 attempts on goal for us in the second half. The final pass was often lacking and some of the shooting wasnt perfect, but Beresford kept his hands warm with several excellent saves. Phil Stamp has decided that being one of the ugliest men in the world isnt enough for him, so hes decided to start carrying around a few extra stone as well; hes basically the fat, ginger bully we all had at school now.

After their dodgy penalty we had a heart-stopping moment at the other end when some great one-twos between Gavilan and Kerr ended up with the ball sliding through to Coppinger. Critics would say he trod on the ball, but the true connoisseurs (grin) of the game recognised that he was cunningly drawing the keeper before trickling it past him on the second attempt only to see it cruelly rebound off the post.

Ameobis second half goal was pure venom. He had been repeatedly fouled by the dirty smoggies (who will finish second bottom to the mackems in the fair play league) and as he received the ball from Glass had to watch as the Scot was almost cut in two by Stamp and Stockdale. In typical cheating fashion the Smoggies feigned injury after seeing the ref reach for his pocket before they started writhing in agony, and the disgusted Ameobi put his head down and powered towards the goal before unleashing a blockbuster. He openly sneered and shook his fist at the Gwyneth Paltrow Appreciation Society in celebration and the ref indicated the goal and waved the liars to their feet.

Despite all the missed opportunities, the understanding between what seemed like our front five was a delight. The oohs and aahs from those of us behind the smoggie goal were more like Bonfire Night than a football match and you could tell that it really mattered to the players how they got on. Gavilan was a firm favourite with everybody by the end of the game and I will be speechless if he doesnt make the bench on Wednesday or Saturday. Going to Paraguay for a youngster is fully understandable when hes this much more talented than the homegrown variety.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2000

What a brilliant report Softie! I almost feel like I was there. I completely agree about Gavilan. As far as I'm concerned I'd honestly rather have him in the team than Solano - and if one of them has to go then it's goodbye Nol. Having said that he'll probably have a blinder on Wednesday now.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 2000

I Liked the look of Gavilan last week as well softie, and totaly agree about Glass, wher has the old Stephen Glass gone? No wonder he isn't getting picked, has he just totally lost confidence? I think Coppy could well make it in the PL , You don't have to be biult like a brick shit house to be a centre forward, Owen and Phillips don't do so bad for little uns, I pleased he wasn't sold off last season with the rest of them.

-- Anonymous, August 22, 2000

Thanks Softie. Nice piece. Enjoyed it. Have you never thought of giving up your day job ? :-))

-- Anonymous, August 22, 2000

Surely Gavilan must play from the start on Wednesday, he'son fire by the sounds of it.

Any news on Rob Lee's injury? Dyer in the middle on Weds night?

-- Anonymous, August 22, 2000

I take it all back. Gavilan actually looked jaded and hardly contributed anything to the match. I know this because Simon Rushworth says so. I should obviously have been more impressed with Marinelli who got the runaround from McClen and only scored from the penalty spot. After all, if all 816 people stand up and applaud when a player is substituted it is obviously because they are fed up with his useless display and not simply because Simon Rushworth is sitting in a heated commentary box on the opposite corner of the field to where Gavilan created 5 or 6 great scoring chances in the second half and was unable to see how well he played:

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Newcastle United Reserves 2, Middlesbrough Reserves 2

CARLOS Marinelli won the battle of the South American wonderboys as the first North-East derby of the season ended all square, writes SIMON RUSHWORTH.

The Argentinian midfielder outshone home favourite Diego Gavilan for much of an entertaining clash and Newcastle's Paraguayan winger looked jaded after a busy summer for club and country.

Watching United boss Bobby Robson saw French defender Laurent Charvet continue his comeback with a 57-minute run-out but it was the absence of fellow countryman Didier Domi which could prove far more significant. The former Paris St Germain full back is equally short of match practice but Robson refused to risk his #6m-rated defender just 48 hours before the club's Premiership date with Derby.

Kieron Dyer did make an appearance at Kingston Park but the England midfielder was no more than an interested spectator as a game full of incident captivated the home crowd.

Marinelli was Boro's midfield general and the teenager forced a fine save from John Karelse as early as the fourth minute.

Seven minutes later the former Boca Juniors star fed Phil Stamp but his cross was wasted as Mark Hudson shot straight at Karelse.

The visitors dominated a frantic first 20 minutes and Marinelli almost broke the deadlock with a delightful run which left the Caldwell brothers chasing shadows.

Eventually the ball broke to former Magpies striker Alun Armstrong but Carl Serrant appeared from nowhere to block a fierce drive. Boro finally took a deserved lead in the 28th minute as Gary Caldwell literally handed the Teessiders their chance.

The Scot's blatant hand-ball from Stamp's corner earned a booking but Marinelli completed the punishment with an expertly-taken spot-kick past the helpless Karelse.

Finally a youthful United side burst into life and it was the in-form James Coppinger who levelled six minutes before the break. The former Darlington striker, so dangerous during a prolific pre-season, continued his goalscoring run with a superb strike from the edge of the box.

Shola Ameobi almost fired the home side in front in the 42nd minute but his vicious left foot drive was straight at Marlon Beresford.

However, the Boro keeper had no chance five minutes after the break following a comical piece of defending from Stamp and Robbie Stockdale. The two players collided after mistiming a double challenge on Stephen Glass and the ball broke to Serrant down the left. United's England B international picked out Ameobi and the teenager took one touch before slamming the ball past Beresford.

Armstrong, fighting for a first-team recall, continued to cause his former club problems but the striker wheeled away in frustration after he flashed a 54th-minute volley wide.

With the game seemingly beyond the visitors it took an uncharacteristic blunder from Karelse to gift the visitors a share of the spoils. As the big Dutchman flapped at Armstrong's 75th minute cross, Neil Maddison stole in at the back post and as the United defence hesitated it was down to Alan Shearer's best man to earn a 2- 2 draw as he bundled the ball into the back of the net.

-- Anonymous, August 22, 2000

Cheers Softie. Was it a Bovril and pie night??? or a nice summers evening?

-- Anonymous, August 22, 2000

Has the infamous Coxy been uncovered? Hmmmm....

Thank goodness for your reports, Softie! Far more trustworthy and makes me feel like I'm there. :-)

-- Anonymous, August 22, 2000

I had deliberately tried to move away from my Egon Ronnay meteorological reports, but let the record show that it was mild, with only a gentle intake of Bovril, although Kingston Park enough for the newbies in shorts and teeshirts to leave at half time :-)

I simply don't understand how Rushworth can claim Gavilan looked jaded. Ask Steph if you think I'm making it up.

-- Anonymous, August 22, 2000

With Softies first resorve report in I feel the season is truly underway, highly informative and a pleasure to read. Encouraging that so many of our resorves are young players.

-- Anonymous, August 22, 2000