...and other funny jokes!

My apologies for my irreverence, but my first inclination was to answer the thread "How do you convert a Buddhist?" with You start with a Buddhist, three eggs, some flower and a pinch of salt, pre-heat the oven to 450 degrees, grease a cookie sheet liberally (or conservatively depending on which school of thought you belong to)...

...how would YOU answer that question, in this light?

BTW, Happy Birthday Forum!

-- Anonymous, August 04, 2000

Answers

How would you convert a Buddhist?

very carefully.

-- Anonymous, August 05, 2000

Brother Nate:

I am happy to see you in the forum again and just wanted to say hello to you. I can see that you still have your talented sense of humor.

As far as converting a buddhist we must remember that we have not been told to go and convert the world. We have been told to go and preach the gospel to every creature (Mark 16;16), including buddhist, and that God has determined to save the world through this "foolishness of preaching the gospel". (1 Cor. 1:18-24). We need not be looking for "better ways" to reach certian groups of people. We need to be better at obeying the command of God to preach the gospel to them for it is the "power of God unto salvation" (Rom. 1:16). So the way to "convert" a buddhist is the same way that we are to convert any man to Christ. Preach the gospel to them!

This may sound too simple to some but it is a scriptural fact that we are to preach the gospel to them and whether they are converted or not depends entirely upon their response to that gospel. But do not under estimate the power of the gospel to do it's job! God is wiser than us and he knows what will work. Let us have faith in his plan and follow it.

I was teaching English to two of my Chinese friends, a man and his wife, and both were buddhist though the man was more so than the woman. I simply gave them a Bible and told them that the English in it was excellent and that they could learn much about English by reading it. I was gone for a few months and upon my return they called me and asked that I attend their baptism into Christ. They had simply read the word of God and were convinced of the truth of Christianity by it. Now both of them are very devout Christians and no buddhist would ever be able to convince them to return to buddhism.

Therefore, the best way to convert anyone, including buddhist, is to give them the gospel of Christ and watch what happens. Many will turn away, but many will quickly obey and remain faithful.

Your Brother in Christ,

E. Lee Saffold

-- Anonymous, August 06, 2000

Lee's answer pretty much sums up how to do it. Let the Gospel speak for itself.

I have a very close friend who was a missionary in India and Pakistan. Because of the attitudes towards missionaries in those countries, he was not a missionary per se...his actual job was teaching English to the natives. The textbook they happened to use was the English-language Bible.

-- Anonymous, August 06, 2000

Lee and Jon,

That is a wonderful method and is what we in the Gideons do. His Word is sharper than any two-edged sword and is powerful to salvation.

It will not return to Him void.

Respectfully,

-- Anonymous, August 06, 2000

I am simply amazed and bewildered at your ability to create a theological discussion out of what, essentially, was meant to be farse.

You guys need to get a funny bone transplant!

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

Nate:

I love your sense of humor! Ha! In fact you are about as good as a "funny bone transplant"! Ha!

May our Lord abundantly bless you.

Your Brother in Christ,

E. Lee Saffold

-- Anonymous, August 11, 2000

Nate: Is THIS funny enough for this thread? (I didn't want to drag up the 'Humor' thread). This is from Nelta's forum:

Kids' advice to Kids

"Never trust a dog to watch your food." Patrick, age 10

"When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' don't answer." Hannah, 9

"Never tell your Mom her diet's not working." Michael, 14

"Stay away from prunes." Randy, 9

"Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to." Emily, 10

"When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair." Taylia,11

"Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment." Traci, 14

"Don't sneeze in front of Mom when you're eating crackers" Mitchell,12

"Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a Tic-Tac." Andrew, 9

"Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time." Kyoyo, 9

"You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk." Armir, 9

"Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts." Kellie, 11

"If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse." Naomi, 15

"Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick." Lauren, 9

"Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat. " Joel,10

"When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone." Alyesha, 13

"Never try to baptize a cat. " Eileen, 8

Resurrecting my funnybone,

-- Anonymous, August 15, 2000