Match Number 19

22 May 1999. We hate Wembley, we f*@$ing HATE Wembley!

Points Harper 0 (2 + Goal Dif) Griffin 2 Charvet 2 Dabizas 2 Domi 2 Lee 2 Hamann 1 (booked) Ferguson 1 (sub) Speed 2 Solano 2 Maric 1 (sub) Ketsbaia 2 Glass 1 (sub) Shearer 2

Results: Match 19

BBS Premier Corinthian League

Athletico Backworth	2-2	Steph's Superstars
Barton's Samba	2-0	Toon Goons
Beardo United	1-2	Wallsend Old Boys
Borussia Canwehaveourballbach	1-1	Woodstock County
Brewery Droopers United	2-1	Yelli's Yobs
Dabizas Pleazas	3-0	MinesaS&N Academicals
Duncan's Disorderlies	4-1	Pilgrim's Converts
MacBeth's Marauders	2-2	Proper Lard Unathletic

BBS Notionless League Division 1

Baxter Basics	2-2	Real Zaragossy
Blaydon Racers	2-1	Screacher's Creatures
Carlisle United Revisited	2-0	Spayne
Chevy's Choppers	0-1	The Gallowgate
Corinthian Smart-Casuals	4-0	The Stellar Warriors
Dudley Boys	2-1	Jessie's High Pants
Howdon Harriers	1-1	Pete's Porkie Pies
ITK Heaton World Beaters	3-0	Quantum Mechanicals

BBS Notionless League Division 2

Bewildered De Builders	0-1	SS Enterprise
Ceptic	1-1	Superstitious FC
Doomed United	2-0	The Entertainers
Douglas All Boys (B) Team	0-2	Toon Gutter Snipes
FC Forget-Me-Nots	3-2	Unaccountable Wild-elf Bottles
FC Jumpers for Goal Posts	1-1	Real Seghill
Gallowgateaserai	3-2	Sexy Boys
Preston Big End	3-1	Shilbottle WMC

BBS Premier Corinthian League Table

Position	Team	Manager	Won	Dwn	Lst	G/F	G/A	G/Dif	Points
1	Pilgrim's Converts	Pilgrim	12	4	3	47	25	22	40
2	Brewery Droopers United	Windy	12	0	7	40	24	16	36
3	MinesaS&N Academicals	muzzainoz	10	3	6	42	28	14	33
4	Yelli's Yobs	Yelli	9	5	5	45	34	11	32
5	Steph's Superstars	Steph	9	4	6	39	31	8	31
6	Athletico Backworth	Jonno	8	6	5	36	33	3	30
7	Borussia Canwehaveourballbach	SMB	7	4	8	42	43	-1	25
8	Proper Lard Unathletic	Tony Green jnr	7	3	9	31	30	1	24
9	Duncan's Disorderlies	Dunx	7	3	9	27	29	-2	24
10	Beardo United	Beardo	7	3	9	42	45	-3	24
11	Toon Goons	Ciara	6	5	8	29	35	-6	23
12	Dabizas Pleazas	PeteT	7	2	10	27	41	-14	23
13	Barton's Samba	Barton	7	2	10	21	37	-16	23
14	Wallsend Old Boys	Hiro	6	3	10	33	52	-19	21
15	MacBeth's Marauders	MacBeth	5	5	9	26	37	-11	20
16	Woodstock County	Cliff	5	4	10	25	27	-2	19

Everyone try to look really surprised that Pilgrim slips up but so do his nearest challengers...Taggart's own luck this one!

BBS Notionless League Division 1 Table

Position	Team	Manager	Won	Dwn	Lst	G/F	G/A	G/Dif	Points
1	Quantum Mechanicals	True	12	4	3	39	20	19	40
2	The Stellar Warriors	Galaxy	11	3	5	36	27	9	36
3	Howdon Harriers	Softie	10	4	5	43	23	20	34
4	Carlisle United Revisited	Scratchy	10	4	5	37	27	10	34
5	Baxter Basics	Baxter	9	3	7	29	28	1	30
6	Blaydon Racers	Geordie	6	8	5	36	31	5	26
7	Screacher's Creatures	Screacher	6	7	6	37	41	-4	25
8	The Gallowgate	Kegsy	7	4	8	28	44	-16	25
9	Real Zaragossy	Dr Bill	7	3	9	41	43	-2	24
10	Jessie's High Pants	Loony Toon	7	3	9	23	26	-3	24
11	Spayne	Kevin Koogan (Garcie)	6	6	7	30	36	-6	24
12	Dudley Boys	Hayley	6	5	8	22	28	-6	23
13	Corinthian Smart-Casuals	The Geordie Jew	6	4	9	29	34	-5	22
14	Pete's Porkie Pies	Pete in Canada	5	6	8	22	23	-1	21
15	ITK Heaton World Beaters	ITK	5	4	10	17	31	-14	19
16	Chevy's Choppers	Chevy	2	6	11	22	38	-16	12

Scratchy pulls level with the Harriers whose ignominious dumping from both Cups has severely rattled the one time favourites for the Div 1 title...

BBS Notionless League Division 2 Table

Position	Team	Manager	Won	Dwn	Lst	G/F	G/A	G/Dif	Points
1	FC Jumpers for Goal Posts	Tom	11	6	2	43	17	26	39
2	Shilbottle WMC	Gus	11	5	3	37	23	14	38
3	Preston Big End	clarky	11	3	5	40	26	14	36
4	The Entertainers	Kevin Keegan	8	5	6	49	35	14	29
5	FC Forget-Me-Nots	Robby Bobson	9	2	8	29	32	-3	29
6	Toon Gutter Snipes	Tre	8	4	7	35	35	0	28
7	Real Seghill	Juano	7	6	6	40	26	14	27
8	Unaccountable Wild-elf Bottles	Josh	8	3	8	37	45	-8	27
9	SS Enterprise	Elliot	7	5	7	33	28	5	26
10	Douglas All Boys (B) Team	Gibbo	7	5	7	41	48	-7	26
11	Bewildered De Builders	De Builder	6	5	8	38	41	-3	23
12	Gallowgateaserai	Pit Bill	6	4	9	26	31	-5	22
13	Superstitious FC	Gav	5	7	7	44	50	-6	22
14	Doomed United	Dougal	6	3	10	25	33	-8	21
15	Sexy Boys	Ruud Gullit	5	2	12	25	43	-18	17
16	Ceptic	TSM	4	1	14	13	52	-39	13

Clarky wins his top of the table clash with Gus to keep his hopes alive whilst Tom ekes out a draw to keep 3 points between himself and Clarky...this one's going to the wire folks!

Fixtures: Match 20

BBS Premier Corinthian League

Toon Goons	Vs	Athletico Backworth
Wallsend Old Boys	Vs	Barton's Samba
Woodstock County	Vs	Beardo United
Yelli's Yobs	Vs	Borussia Canwehaveourballbach
MinesaS&N Academicals	Vs	Brewery Droopers United
Pilgrim's Converts	Vs	Dabizas Pleazas
Proper Lard Unathletic	Vs	Duncan's Disorderlies
Steph's Superstars	Vs	MacBeth's Marauders

BBS Notionless League Division 1

Screacher's Creatures	Vs	Baxter Basics
Spayne	Vs	Blaydon Racers
The Gallowgate	Vs	Carlisle United Revisited
The Stellar Warriors	Vs	Chevy's Choppers
Jessie's High Pants	Vs	Corinthian Smart-Casuals
Pete's Porkie Pies	Vs	Dudley Boys
Quantum Mechanicals	Vs	Howdon Harriers
Real Zaragossy	Vs	ITK Heaton World Beaters

BBS Notionless League Division 2

Superstitious FC	Vs	Bewildered De Builders
The Entertainers	Vs	Ceptic
Toon Gutter Snipes	Vs	Doomed United
Unaccountable Wild-elf Bottles	Vs	Douglas All Boys (B) Team
Real Seghill	Vs	FC Forget-Me-Nots
Sexy Boys	Vs	FC Jumpers for Goal Posts
Shilbottle WMC	Vs	Gallowgateaserai
SS Enterprise	Vs	Preston Big End

-- Anonymous, July 30, 2000

Answers

Ouch!!!!!! What a drubbin`!!! (:o(

-- Anonymous, July 30, 2000

The sooner they tear down Wembley, the better!

-- Anonymous, July 30, 2000

Well, that was another close shave against the Uncountable Wife Batterers but it looks like we are back on track after a doggy time. I think it may be too late to make an automatic premonition spot but I'm hoping to make the pull-offs.

If we can get a result against Juano's mob that should see us well. Of course we're not looking forward to a trip to Seghill. Nobody does. It wouldn't be the first time that the wheels have come off at Seghill. It wasn't only the wheels last time - we had the wing mirrors and the windscreen wipers nicked as well and that makes it even harder to come a long way when you've got no wheels and wipers.

-- Anonymous, July 30, 2000

Wow, well I'm not tempting fate by saying that was the Galowgates 5th league win in a row. I'm not going to say that if we win the next game we'll be in the play offs. In fact I'm not going to say anything.

-- Anonymous, July 30, 2000

Goolies feelin' a bit loose Softie?

Some matches just shouldn't be allowed in the CL! :o((

-- Anonymous, July 31, 2000

YES! Revenge is sweet :-))

-- Anonymous, July 31, 2000

Ah yes.....revenge is so sweet.....after losing to QM (no....not Queen Mother....mind you, on the second thoughts!) on the eve of the Regents Park shindig, it is nice to reap revenge 30 days later.

YES!

-- Anonymous, July 31, 2000

NOOOOO!!!

-- Anonymous, July 31, 2000

Point of order - you seem to be using cup competitions to decide league games, and probably vice versa. Is there nothing in the rules to prevent this? Had I known this was going to happen, I would have picked Gary Speed at the start of the competition, probably Shearer too.

I'm just bitter because I was beaten at home. However, I would be grateful if you were to look into my gripe and come up with your usual reasoned reponse.

-- Anonymous, August 01, 2000

You are quite right, how shocking! I will immediately implement the following changes:

Next season, all games in the league will be only the league games from 1995/6 as this is the first season on record.
All Cup games will be from the same season but since we don't have the data on those you won't be able to have any Cup results - we will all have to pretend instead.
In order to maintain this heady state of realism, any Cup Finals will be drawn from the two that we reached which adds a real excitement as we wait to see which one is picked

Alternatively, we might just stick to this being a fantasy game and remember that the historical opposition and competition has no relevance other than as a jog to the memory and that it is all about choosing an NUFC lineup at random.

-- Anonymous, August 02, 2000

Lying eigth, go away for a week, come back and find my team sixteenth and bottom. You can't get the assistant managers these days.

-- Anonymous, August 02, 2000