BBSCLFA Cup Round 1

25 January 1998, St*v*nage away, 1-1. Shearer came back and scored for us (or did it cross the line? Shock horror). Grazioli equalised and an outraged public applauded the plucky minnows. Minging little bastards had asked to move the game to SJP until the S*n stepped in to sponsor the event and made up the difference in revenue. A sleaze campaign courtesy of the filthy rag then showered us continuously with shit until the whole sorry saga was finished. Watching Grazioli struggling to make a mark on the league since, and Mr Green, their lovely, upright, honest, bullied chairman being forced to resign for financial mismanagement, has done little to assuage the anger stirred up during that affair. I think we are a fair-minded bunch for the most part, but the storm of abuse hurled at St*v*nage when they ran out at SJP was richly deserved. Screaming hypocrites in the meedja made out that we had robbed the FA Cup of its magic. You want your big day in the spotlight, then don't accept blood money from a muck-raking turd like Murdoch and spend the week bad-mouthing your hosts. I wish nothing but financial ruin and misery on that place and boo every time the train stops there (as do at least 3 other people on here...you know who you are!).

Points Hislop 2 Beresford 1 (booked) Albert 1 (sub) Batty 2 Howey 2 Lee 2 Shearer 3 (booked and goal) Barnes 2 Ketsbaia 1 (sub) Pearce 2 Gillespie 2 Watson 2 Pistone 1 (booked)

BBSCLFA Cup: Round 1 Results

No.	Home Team	Result	No.	Away Team
32	Unaccountable Wild-elf Bottles	0-0	31	Toon Gutter Snipes
10	Pete's Porkie Pies	2-2	14	Spayne
27	Shilbottle WMC	4-0	8	ITK Heaton World Beaters
29	Superstitious FC	0-2	25	Real Seghill
20	Douglas All Boys (B) Team	2-2	21	FC Forget-Me-Nots
5	Corinthian Smart-Casuals	3-3	24	Preston Big End
4	Chevy's Choppers	3-0	26	Sexy Boys
19	Doomed United	0-1	30	The Entertainers
12	Real Zaragossy	3-1	15	The Gallowgate
1	Baxter Basics	4-1	9	Jessie's High Pants
18	Ceptic	4-1	23	Gallowgateaserai
17	Bewildered De Builders	5-0	7	Howdon Harriers
6	Dudley Boys	0-1	3	Carlisle United Revisited
13	Screacher's Creatures	4-1	22	FC Jumpers for Goal Posts
28	SS Enterprise	1-4	11	Quantum Mechanicals
2	Blaydon Racers	2-6	16	The Stellar Warriors

Worst defeat of the day was Howdon Harriers: share price plummets as half the team are transfer listed. The draws bring about the following replays:

BBSCLFA Cup: Round 1 Replays

No.	Home Team	Result	No.	Away Team
31	Toon Gutter Snipes	Vs	32	Unaccountable Wild-elf Bottles
14	Spayne	Vs	10	Pete's Porkie Pies
21	FC Forget-Me-Nots	Vs	20	Douglas All Boys (B) Team
24	Preston Big End	Vs	5	Corinthian Smart-Casuals

The draw for Round 2 is as follows:

BBSCLFA Cup: Round 2 Draw

No.	Home Team	Result	No.	Away Team
22	Preston Big End or Corinthian Smart Casuals	Vs	9	MinesaS&N Academicals
32	The Stellar Warriors	Vs	31	Quantum Mechanicals
20	Real Seghill	Vs	8	MacBeth's Marauders
11	Proper Lard Unathletic	Vs	4	Borussia Canwehaveourballbach
28	Bewildered De Builders	Vs	7	Duncan's Disorderlies
13	Toon Goons	Vs	16	Yelli's Yobs
15	Woodstock County	Vs	1	Athletico Backworth
27	Ceptic	Vs	6	Dabizas Pleazas
17	Toon Gutter Snipes or Unaccountable Wild Elf Bottles	Vs	19	Shilbottle WMC
10	Pilgrim's Converts	Vs	14	Wallsend Old Boys
29	Carlisle United Revisited	Vs	2	Barton's Samba
18	Spayne or Pete's Porkie Pies	Vs	24	The Entertainers
30	Screacher's Creatures	Vs	21	FC Forget-Me-Nots or Douglas All Boys (B) Team
25	Real Zaragossy	Vs	5	Brewery Droopers United
12	Steph's Superstars	Vs	26	Baxter Basics
23	Chevy's Choppers	Vs	3	Beardo United

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2000

Answers

I take it that black and white is alright with everybody is it?

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2000

Ow - this white backgorund is a bit bright.....

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2000

Dear Omnipotence,

This is not a letter of complaint, I do not know, nor care, how many home nor away matches my team has played this season. As our sponser withdrew support early on in the season, they do not care either. I do not care that my team was knocked out of the other cup in the first round.

I am extremely pleased to see my team do well in the league, in the promotion / play off position was far better than I expected as a new team in the league. I am also quite chuffed at a win in the first round, however I was looking to a big club draw in the next round to help with the finances, and this brings me to my point. It had to come eventually didn't it?

I stress I only make this suggestion on an improvement to assisst thick b@**ers like myself.

In the Cup (of either type) could you place a (p), (i) or (ii) to indicate which division the teams are in?

If you do not find this suggestion palatable do not hesitate to tell me to sod off at your earliest convienience. I realise you have a difficult and thankless job and do not wish to add to your burden.

gus Shillbottle WMC

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2000

Ah the smell of the cup. That's more like it. A decent result against Dougal's Old Tarts sees us bring them back to Langley Park for a replay.

Assuming, and we're not taking anything for grunted, we beat them we have another tough match away against Teacher's Features. They're a good outfit and will be very hard to beat. I particularly like their manager. He's got class and is nearly my age.

-- Anonymous, July 27, 2000

Softie,

Worst defeat for Howdon you say? Westcopse had me in his office this morning (fnaa, fnaa) for me to explain conceding 6 goals at home. I tried to explain that it was our unfamiliarity with the stadium but he was having none of it.
He's now only gone and given me his full backing!!

-- Anonymous, July 28, 2000

Big sighs of relief all round at the Miners Welfare of Light. My lot are a lovely set of lads but to have got through this stage of the cup and have the threat of playing in some huge teeming metroloponce meloponance malpracticense big town like Shilbottle, would have been more than they could cope with.

So thankyou Mr. Interlocutor from the bottom of our pit that you managed to fix it so that once again we got no further than the draw in yet another cup competition - not doing too well in the league, either, but far be it from me to cast nasturtiums.

I'm intrigued to know how you're going to organise a Third division with only one team in it next season, because as sure as eggs is eggs, we'll be regalated rectangulated rectumbulated down at the end of this. No doubt you'll come up with some scenario where this will work. At least it'll cut down on our travelling expenses.

-- Anonymous, July 28, 2000

Softie

That Stevenage game was a nadir of the KD reign. They were arseholes, but to be fair the great man Kenny Dalglish acted like a little man throughout. I wasn't impressed with the man.

-- Anonymous, July 28, 2000