Match Number 13

21 December 1997, Newton Heath at SJP, we lost 1-0 to an inevitable Cole goal. This was during the exciting 'hoof the ball up to a lone Tino' period with everyone else under strict instructions to stay in our own half.

Points Hislop 1 Watson 2 Beresford 2 Ketsbaia 1 (sub) Peacock 1 (booked) Pearce 2 Pistone 1 (booked) Albert 2 Barton 1 (sub) Batty 1 (booked) Barnes 2 Gillespie 1 (booked) Asprilla 2

Results: Match 13

BBS Premier Corinthian League

Beardo United	3-3	Athletico Backworth
Borussia Canwehaveourballbach	3-1	Barton's Samba
Duncan's Disorderlies	1-2	Brewery Droopers United
MacBeth's Marauders	2-1	Dabizas Pleazas
Proper Lard Unathletic	0-1	MinesaS&N Academicals
Steph's Superstars	1-2	Pilgrim's Converts
Woodstock County	1-2	Toon Goons
Yelli's Yobs	6-0	Wallsend Old Boys

BBS Notionless League Division 1

Carlisle United Revisited	4-1	Baxter Basics
Chevy's Choppers	4-0	Blaydon Racers
Howdon Harriers	2-1	Corinthian Smart-Casuals
ITK Heaton World Beaters	0-0	Dudley Boys
Quantum Mechanicals	3-1	Jessie's High Pants
Real Zaragossy	0-1	Pete's Porkie Pies
The Gallowgate	2-1	Screacher's Creatures
The Stellar Warriors	6-2	Spayne

A WIN for Chevy's Choppers!!!!

BBS Notionless League Division 2

Doomed United	2-1	Bewildered De Builders
Douglas All Boys (B) Team	4-1	Ceptic
Gallowgateaserai	2-0	FC Forget-Me-Nots
Preston Big End	2-3	FC Jumpers for Goal Posts
Shilbottle WMC	1-1	Real Seghill
SS Enterprise	2-0	Sexy Boys
Toon Gutter Snipes	3-2	Superstitious FC
Unaccountable Wild-elf Bottles	1-3	The Entertainers

FC Jumpers for Goal Posts have the advantage over Preston Big End at the top of Division 2 after winning the 6-pointer...PBE will probably need to return the compliment during the run-in to ensure taking the championship.

-- Anonymous, July 15, 2000

Answers

I give up...it won't let me post the league tables even one at a time...could this mean the end of the Corinthian League?

-- Anonymous, July 15, 2000

Softie- We've got to make a web site for you, it's the easiest solution. Then you can go ahead and join our millionaire elite club founded by Rik! Just remember us when you're rich OK?

-- Anonymous, July 15, 2000

Another glorious, well worked and hard fought for 0-0 draw......there are certainly gonna be some more MOTD at the end of this season.....that's........

Men

On

The

Dole

They are a right bunch of shirkers I've got in there, but there is gonna be some sorting out bliddy soon or my names not Robbie Bobson!

-- Anonymous, July 15, 2000

I was looking at you team ITK, and reckon that you must have switched to so many later players after the poxy random-number-nazi kept churning out recent games (am I right?)...this season it's stuck on 1995-7 as it's major hunting ground. There must be some 1998-2000 games soon, when you should zoom up the table. I forgot to randomize the randomizer but will do so before relaunching the League from its new home...

-- Anonymous, July 15, 2000

The boy is right.......again!

-- Anonymous, July 15, 2000

AT LAST!!!!!!!! AT LAST!!!!!!!

I've won - and what a result - 4-0

But I only win when we lose :(

-- Anonymous, July 15, 2000

Softie,

If this problem persists, try posting them here:

http://www.InsideTheWeb.com/messageboard/mbs.cgi/mb68408

It'll accept html, and your messages should be good for 3 months.

-- Anonymous, July 15, 2000

This is simply not good enough. What scant reward I get for treating the hole of the first team squid to the best part of a week at Whitley Caravan Site.

To be honest, I don't know what's going on (honestly). We've come a long way but after today's shambles we obviously have a long way to go. And I don't know how far I can go. Nor do I know how long I can keep going. I'm not getting any Youngers and its starting to get me down.

God help me when the Sunday rags come out tomorrow. I daren't think what they'll make of that Super-8 cine film I made after a few sherbet lemons down Cullercoats with Fred and Doug. I'll have to re-sign. My contract is up anyway so re-signing will be a good idea.

I've been talking to the chairman about a move upstairs but I'm not sure if it would be right for me. Ever since we moved into a bungalow I've started to have second thoughts. I know we had the Stairlift to Heaven installed last Christmas but it does look a bit funny sticking out the roof.

What confuses me more is that I have no idea who we are playing next. Not that that is anything new but its starting to get to me. I'm beginning to lose confidence in this marvellous competition. The Chairman has been having too many late nights out on the town and the shoddiness of his performance is only second to mine.

Our sponsors, Robbies Incompetence Pants (RIP) are starting to worry about the leaks that have become so evident recently. We leaked another two today and its starting to get a bit embarassing.

But don't get me wrong. No matter who we face next, FC Wotsgoingon Football Club will be there with the rest of them. Its a funny old game.

-- Anonymous, July 15, 2000

Ouch!!

Here was the bad news from the database:

ora8.c:2276:ora_tcl_command: error in `OCILobWrite ()': ORA-19502: write error on file "/ora8/m02/oradata/eightk/greenspun01.dbf", blockno 206529 (blocksize=8192)

ORA-27063: skgfospo: number of bytes read/written is incorrect SVR4 Error: 22: Invalid argument

Additional information: -1

Additional information: 524288

ORA-19502: write error on file "/ora8/m02/oradata/eightk/greenspun01.dbf", blockno 206593 (blocksize=8192)

ORA-27063: skgfospo: number of bytes read/written is incorrect

SVR4 Error: 28: No space left on device

Additional information: -1

Additional inf

SQL: insert into bboard (msg_id,refers_to,topic,originating_ip,email,name,one_line,message,not ify,sort_key,posting_time)

values ('003V8l','003V4O','Unofficial Newcastle United Football Club BBS','212.225.19.199','softie@thegallowgate.com','Softie','Response to BBS Corinthian League Results Match 13',empty_clob (),'f','003V4O.07',sysdate)

returning message into :1

Don't quit your browser. You might be able to resubmit your posting five or ten minutes from now.

A right-rivetting read, but what does it all mean?

-- Anonymous, July 15, 2000

Gibbo, thanks mate, I owe you one!

-- Anonymous, July 15, 2000

It means - No! or at least not yet.

-- Anonymous, July 15, 2000

Going down! Going down! Going down!

-- Anonymous, July 15, 2000

Softie, have you checked your code for the league position tables? I thought you couldn't post any tables at all. Obviously it takes some of them. The only difference with the others is the color, but that shouldn't take up that much extra space. Dunno what all that gibberish meant other than a more techy version of hte blue screen of death. There could well be a typo or some stray character in your code that's causing the server to barf at that point. Maybe. :-)

-- Anonymous, July 15, 2000

Good result for the Stellar Warriors - even better for Yelli`s Yobs! (:o)

Softie - If I got a message like that I`d run screaming from my computer! {:o|

-- Anonymous, July 16, 2000

I just tried to repost Match 12 which it had accepted before...no dice - same error message. Methinks they have restricted the size of messages or something after some stinker has been bombarding their server with enormous messages on a daily basis :-)

-- Anonymous, July 16, 2000

So where are you gonna post the league tables? Have you considered setting up a new thread? Seems odd to me, all this.

-- Anonymous, July 16, 2000

Been there, tried that, even opened a whole new Q&A Forum...not working. I've tried posting teh League Tables 1 at a time stripped down to just team name and number of points, but even that gets bounced. I give up. I shall develop a dedicated website and relaunch on there. Until then, this is the League Chairman thanking you all for your support and invaluable comments and suggestions, but the League is now dead for a while.

-- Anonymous, July 16, 2000

That rotten Softie! All that effort you have been putting in, not to mention all the fun the rest of us have been having! (:o(

-- Anonymous, July 16, 2000

I shall look forward to the new venue - as an when you find time to develope one. And by the way, Softie, I forgot to say `thank you` in my last posting - so, thank you for all the hours you have put into keeping us lot entertained!(:o)

-- Anonymous, July 16, 2000

You sound a bit hacked off Softie. I take it you've been trying all day to get the stuff posted! Duncan should be able to help when he reads your postings. Presumably he's having a weekend off.

Thanks for the efforts. If you need any help, webspace or anything let me know.

-- Anonymous, July 16, 2000

I hear there's some free space going in South Africa. I blame the Jormans. Probably sabotaged the BBSCL due to it becoming too successful. Wie cant hev zis. Donner und Kebab.

-- Anonymous, July 16, 2000

I'll get over it! Serves me right for taking 2 days off: Greenspun is now acting like every lass who's ever felt taken for granted: "Oh, it's you is it? Well, I'm sorry, but I'm washing my hair tonight..."

Harumph!

I'm going to use the time to finish automating the new system so that things are a bit easier when I restart. Honestly, it'll be worth the wait; much better all round!

-- Anonymous, July 16, 2000

So Softie,

You don't like, er suspect, um - sabotage! Olny I can't help noticing the Disorderlies lost again and are hovering dangerously near the drop zone. You know, just a thought like. I'm sure Dunx whould never stoop to anything so low. :o)))

-- Anonymous, July 16, 2000

Actually Softie, after a bright start to the season the Big End are badly in need of a mid-season break in the sunshine - just like their S.A.D. Manager!!

I only hope this issue doesn't mark the end of the honeymoon period with Greenspun. I wonder if Dunx has had any negative feedback from them? After all we must be memory gobblers on their server - I said M-E-M-O-R-Y gobblers (dirty minds!).

-- Anonymous, July 16, 2000

Match Number 13

21 December 1997, Newton Heath at SJP, we lost 1-0 to an inevitable Cole goal. This was during the exciting 'hoof the ball up to a lone Tino' period with everyone else under strict instructions to stay in our own half.

Points Hislop 1 Watson 2 Beresford 2 Ketsbaia 1 (sub) Peacock 1 (booked) Pearce 2 Pistone 1 (booked) Albert 2 Barton 1 (sub) Batty 1 (booked) Barnes 2 Gillespie 1 (booked) Asprilla 2

Results: Match 13

BBS Premier Corinthian League

Beardo United	3-3	Athletico Backworth
Borussia Canwehaveourballbach	3-1	Barton's Samba
Duncan's Disorderlies	1-2	Brewery Droopers United
MacBeth's Marauders	2-1	Dabizas Pleazas
Proper Lard Unathletic	0-1	MinesaS&N Academicals
Steph's Superstars	1-2	Pilgrim's Converts
Woodstock County	1-2	Toon Goons
Yelli's Yobs	6-0	Wallsend Old Boys

BBS Notionless League Division 1

Carlisle United Revisited	4-1	Baxter Basics
Chevy's Choppers	4-0	Blaydon Racers
Howdon Harriers	2-1	Corinthian Smart-Casuals
ITK Heaton World Beaters	0-0	Dudley Boys
Quantum Mechanicals	3-1	Jessie's High Pants
Real Zaragossy	0-1	Pete's Porkie Pies
The Gallowgate	2-1	Screacher's Creatures
The Stellar Warriors	6-2	Spayne

A WIN for Chevy's Choppers!!!!

BBS Notionless League Division 2

Doomed United	2-1	Bewildered De Builders
Douglas All Boys (B) Team	4-1	Ceptic
Gallowgateaserai	2-0	FC Forget-Me-Nots
Preston Big End	2-3	FC Jumpers for Goal Posts
Shilbottle WMC	1-1	Real Seghill
SS Enterprise	2-0	Sexy Boys
Toon Gutter Snipes	3-2	Superstitious FC
Unaccountable Wild-elf Bottles	1-3	The Entertainers

FC Jumpers for Goal Posts have the advantage over Preston Big End at the top of Division 2 after winning the 6-pointer...PBE will probably need to return the compliment during the run-in to ensure taking the championship.

BBS Premier Corinthian League Table

Position	Team	Manager	Won	Dwn	Lst	G/F	G/A	G/Dif	Points
1	Pilgrim's Converts	Pilgrim	10	2	1	37	14	23	32
2	Yelli's Yobs	Yelli	7	3	3	34	23	11	24
3	Brewery Droopers United	Windy	8	0	5	27	16	11	24
4	MinesaS&N Academicals	muzzainoz	7	2	4	32	20	12	23
5	Steph's Superstars	Steph	7	2	4	27	18	9	23
6	Athletico Backworth	Jonno	5	4	4	28	26	2	19
7	Beardo United	Beardo	5	3	5	33	34	-1	18
8	Woodstock County	Cliff	5	2	6	21	18	3	17
9	Borussia Canwehaveourballbach	SMB	5	2	6	28	29	-1	17
10	Toon Goons	Ciara	4	4	5	21	28	-7	16
11	Dabizas Pleazas	PeteT	5	1	7	18	26	-8	16
12	MacBeth's Marauders	MacBeth	4	2	7	18	26	-8	14
13	Duncan's Disorderlies	Dunx	4	2	7	15	23	-8	14
14	Proper Lard Unathletic	Tony Green jnr	4	1	8	20	23	-3	13
15	Wallsend Old Boys	Hiro	4	1	8	21	35	-14	13
16	Barton's Samba	Barton	4	1	8	10	30	-20	13

BBS Notionless League Division 1 Table

Position	Team	Manager	Won	Dwn	Lst	G/F	G/A	G/Dif	Points
1	Quantum Mechanicals	True	9	3	1	28	11	17	30
2	Howdon Harriers	Softie	8	3	2	37	16	21	27
3	The Stellar Warriors	Galaxy	7	3	3	36	20	16	24
4	Carlisle United Revisited	Scratchy	7	3	3	25	20	5	24
5	Jessie's High Pants	Loony Toon	6	2	5	18	17	1	20
6	Baxter Basics	Baxter	6	2	5	17	19	-2	20
7	Screacher's Creatures	Screacher	5	4	4	25	28	-3	19
8	Spayne	Kevin Koogan (Garcie)	5	3	5	20	24	-4	18
9	Blaydon Racers	Geordie	4	4	5	27	24	3	16
10	Real Zaragossy	Dr Bill	5	1	7	26	27	-1	16
11	Dudley Boys	Hayley	4	4	5	16	21	-5	16
12	Pete's Porkie Pies	Pete in Canada	4	3	6	13	16	-3	15
13	Corinthian Smart-Casuals	The Geordie Jew	3	4	6	18	26	-8	13
14	ITK Heaton World Beaters	ITK	3	3	7	9	18	-9	12
15	The Gallowgate	Kegsy	2	4	7	20	38	-18	10
16	Chevy's Choppers	Chevy	1	4	8	13	22	-9	7

BBS Notionless League Division 2 Table

Position	Team	Manager	Won	Dwn	Lst	G/F	G/A	G/Dif	Points
1	FC Jumpers for Goal Posts	Tom	9	3	1	33	11	22	30
2	Preston Big End	clarky	8	3	2	30	17	13	27
3	Shilbottle WMC	Gus	7	4	2	26	17	9	25
4	The Entertainers	Kevin Keegan	6	3	4	37	29	8	21
5	Real Seghill	Juano	5	5	3	30	16	14	20
6	FC Forget-Me-Nots	Robby Bobson	6	2	5	17	18	-1	20
7	Douglas All Boys (B) Team	Gibbo	6	2	5	31	36	-5	20
8	Unaccountable Wild-elf Bottles	Josh	6	1	6	24	30	-6	19
9	Bewildered De Builders	De Builder	4	5	4	28	26	2	17
10	SS Enterprise	Elliot	4	4	5	24	21	3	16
11	Gallowgateaserai	Pit Bill	4	3	6	17	17	0	15
12	Superstitious FC	Gav	3	5	5	33	38	-5	14
13	Toon Gutter Snipes	Tre	4	2	7	22	31	-9	14
14	Doomed United	Dougal	3	3	7	15	25	-10	12
15	Sexy Boys	Ruud Gullit	3	1	9	14	32	-18	10
16	Ceptic	TSM	3	0	10	10	37	-27	9

Fixtures: Match 14

BBS Premier Corinthian League

Athletico Backworth	Vs	Duncan's Disorderlies
Barton's Samba	Vs	Dabizas Pleazas
Beardo United	Vs	Brewery Droopers United
Borussia Canwehaveourballbach	Vs	MacBeth's Marauders
MinesaS&N Academicals	Vs	Toon Goons
Pilgrim's Converts	Vs	Wallsend Old Boys
Proper Lard Unathletic	Vs	Woodstock County
Steph's Superstars	Vs	Yelli's Yobs

BBS Notionless League Division 1

Baxter Basics	Vs	Howdon Harriers
Blaydon Racers	Vs	Dudley Boys
Carlisle United Revisited	Vs	Corinthian Smart- Casuals
Chevy's Choppers	Vs	ITK Heaton World Beaters
Jessie's High Pants	Vs	Screacher's Creatures
Pete's Porkie Pies	Vs	Spayne
Quantum Mechanicals	Vs	The Gallowgate
Real Zaragossy	Vs	The Stellar Warriors

BBS Notionless League Division 2

Bewildered De Builders	Vs	Gallowgateaserai
Ceptic	Vs	FC Jumpers for Goal Posts
Doomed United	Vs	FC Forget-Me-Nots
Douglas All Boys (B) Team	Vs	Preston Big End
Real Seghill	Vs	Superstitious FC
Sexy Boys	Vs	The Entertainers
Shilbottle WMC	Vs	Toon Gutter Snipes
SS Enterprise	Vs	Unaccountable Wild-elf Bottles

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2000

Tee hee! Yipee!!!!

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2000

Congratulations oh soft one! :o))

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2000

Well what with all these problems I don't know what's going on. So nothings new there then. We at FC Hoocareshooweare Football Club we have been concentrating on the important things like passing, heading, defending and scoring goals. But none of this seems to improve our game so we are going to try a new approach. Starting tomorrow (or whenever Softie can fix arrange it) we will do things differently. If only I could remember what we did before. Ah well it's only a funny old game of two halves Bobby.

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2000

My cunning plan to get my lads another mid-season break seems to have workeD! Only a few days ago we looked certain for the drop. Now we've gotten another lifeline and our highest league placing of the season!

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2000

I think this round of results should be scrapped due to the bbs failure yesterday.

-- Anonymous, July 18, 2000

Oh .... and I'm sure Chevy will agree!

-- Anonymous, July 18, 2000