Match Number 12

2 January 1999, Crystal palace in the Cup at SJP, 2-1. Poxy ref sent given off for 'handling outside the box' and Bradbury put them ahead. However, 10 man Toon played like giants and Speed and Shearer finished them off in the second half. The most impressive performance was from Barton, though, who ran his legs off and finally won the SJP crowd over (the travelling fans had already noticed the difference) to receive a standing ovation when he was subbed. It was the other defenders who called for him to be changed over: he was about 15 feet from me and the backs of his calves were shaking but he was determined to see it through. Fabulous. Worth 4 million for that performance alone.

Points Given 2 (2 for start, -2 for red card, 2 for clean sheet) Harper 2 (1 for sub, 1 for Goal Dif) Charvet 2 Hughes 2 Dabizas 2 Barton 1 (booked) Julio Geordio 1 (sub) Solano 2 Hamann 2 Speed 4 (booked but goal) Glass 2 (although subbed for Harper) Andersson 2 Shearer 4 (goal)

Results: Match 12

BBS Premier Corinthian League

Athletico Backworth	1-3	Dabizas Pleazas
Beardo United	1-5	MacBeth's Marauders
Brewery Droopers United	2-3	Barton's Samba
Duncan's Disorderlies	3-0	Borussia Canwehaveourballbach
MinesaS&N Academicals	2-5	Wallsend Old Boys
Proper Lard Unathletic	4-0	Yelli's Yobs
Toon Goons	2-2	Pilgrim's Converts
Woodstock County	3-1	Steph's Superstars

BBS Notionless League Division 1

Baxter Basics	2-0	Dudley Boys
Carlisle United Revisited	1-0	ITK Heaton World Beaters
Corinthian Smart-Casuals	3-3	Blaydon Racers
Howdon Harriers	1-0	Chevy's Choppers
Jessie's High Pants	2-0	Spayne
Quantum Mechanicals	1-0	The Stellar Warriors
Screacher's Creatures	1-3	Pete's Porkie Pies
The Gallowgate	2-5	Real Zaragossy

BBS Notionless League Division 2

Bewildered De Builders	0-2	FC Jumpers for Goal Posts
Doomed United	2-2	Preston Big End
FC Forget-Me-Nots	2-0	Ceptic
Gallowgateaserai	4-0	Douglas All Boys (B) Team
Real Seghill	5-0	The Entertainers
Shilbottle WMC	5-2	Unaccountable Wild-elf Bottles
Superstitious FC	2-2	Sexy Boys
Toon Gutter Snipes	3-1	SS Enterprise

BBS Premier Corinthian League Table

Position	Team	Manager	Won	Dwn	Lst	G/F	G/A	G/Dif	Points
1	Pilgrim's Converts	Pilgrim	9	2	1	35	13	22	29
2	Steph's Superstars	Steph	7	2	3	26	16	10	23
3	Brewery Droopers United	Windy	7	0	5	25	15	10	21
4	Yelli's Yobs	Yelli	6	3	3	28	23	5	21
5	MinesaS&N Academicals	muzzainoz	6	2	4	31	20	11	20
6	Athletico Backworth	Jonno	5	3	4	25	23	2	18
7	Woodstock County	Cliff	5	2	5	20	16	4	17
8	Beardo United	Beardo	5	2	5	30	31	-1	17
9	Dabizas Pleazas	PeteT	5	1	6	17	24	-7	16
10	Borussia Canwehaveourballbach	SMB	4	2	6	25	28	-3	14
11	Duncan's Disorderlies	Dunx	4	2	6	14	21	-7	14
12	Proper Lard Unathletic	Tony Green jnr	4	1	7	20	22	-2	13
13	Wallsend Old Boys	Hiro	4	1	7	21	29	-8	13
14	Toon Goons	Ciara	3	4	5	19	27	-8	13
15	Barton's Samba	Barton	4	1	7	9	27	-18	13
16	MacBeth's Marauders	MacBeth	3	2	7	16	25	-9	11

BBS Notionless League Division 1 Table

Position	Team	Manager	Won	Dwn	Lst	G/F	G/A	G/Dif	Points
1	Quantum Mechanicals	True	8	3	1	25	10	15	27
2	Howdon Harriers	Softie	7	3	2	35	15	20	24
3	The Stellar Warriors	Galaxy	6	3	3	30	18	12	21
4	Carlisle United Revisited	Scratchy	6	3	3	21	19	2	21
5	Jessie's High Pants	Loony Toon	6	2	4	17	14	3	20
6	Baxter Basics	Baxter	6	2	4	16	15	1	20
7	Screacher's Creatures	Screacher	5	4	3	24	26	-2	19
8	Spayne	Kevin Koogan (Garcie)	5	3	4	18	18	0	18
9	Blaydon Racers	Geordie	4	4	4	27	20	7	16
10	Real Zaragossy	Dr Bill	5	1	6	26	26	0	16
11	Dudley Boys	Hayley	4	3	5	16	21	-5	15
12	Corinthian Smart-Casuals	The Geordie Jew	3	4	5	17	24	-7	13
13	Pete's Porkie Pies	Pete in Canada	3	3	6	12	16	-4	12
14	ITK Heaton World Beaters	ITK	3	2	7	9	18	-9	11
15	The Gallowgate	Kegsy	1	4	7	18	37	-19	7
16	Chevy's Choppers	Chevy	0	4	8	9	22	-13	4

BBS Notionless League Division 2 Table

Position	Team	Manager	Won	Dwn	Lst	G/F	G/A	G/Dif	Points
1	FC Jumpers for Goal Posts	Tom	8	3	1	30	9	21	27
2	Preston Big End	clarky	8	3	1	28	14	14	27
3	Shilbottle WMC	Gus	7	3	2	25	16	9	24
4	FC Forget-Me-Nots	Robby Bobson	6	2	4	17	16	1	20
5	Real Seghill	Juano	5	4	3	29	15	14	19
6	Unaccountable Wild-elf Bottles	Josh	6	1	5	23	27	-4	19
7	The Entertainers	Kevin Keegan	5	3	4	34	28	6	18
8	Bewildered De Builders	De Builder	4	5	3	27	24	3	17
9	Douglas All Boys (B) Team	Gibbo	5	2	5	27	35	-8	17
10	Superstitious FC	Gav	3	5	4	31	35	-4	14
11	SS Enterprise	Elliot	3	4	5	22	21	1	13
12	Gallowgateaserai	Pit Bill	3	3	6	15	17	-2	12
13	Toon Gutter Snipes	Tre	3	2	7	19	29	-10	11
14	Sexy Boys	Ruud Gullit	3	1	8	14	30	-16	10
15	Doomed United	Dougal	2	3	7	13	24	-11	9
16	Ceptic	TSM	3	0	9	9	33	-24	9

So, the big Cup win has taken it out of Preston Big End as FC Jumpers For Goal Posts take top spot of Div 2 on goal difference, although Lady Luck has drawn these 2 together as the next fixture, which will be screened live on Greater Howdon TV. Pilgrim continues to demonstrate a Heath-like ability to only drop points when his chief rivals do. Chevy is still waiting for his first win with only 3 games to the halfway point (gulp) and Kegsy continues to put in goof performances on the weeks where his opponents put on exceptional displays: no justice for The Gallowgate!

Fixtures: Match 13

BBS Premier Corinthian League

Beardo United	Vs	Athletico Backworth
Borussia Canwehaveourballbach	Vs	Barton's Samba
Duncan's Disorderlies	Vs	Brewery Droopers United
MacBeth's Marauders	Vs	Dabizas Pleazas
Proper Lard Unathletic	Vs	MinesaS&N Academicals
Steph's Superstars	Vs	Pilgrim's Converts
Woodstock County	Vs	Toon Goons
Yelli's Yobs	Vs	Wallsend Old Boys

BBS Notionless League Division 1

Carlisle United Revisited	Vs	Baxter Basics
Chevy's Choppers	Vs	Blaydon Racers
Howdon Harriers	Vs	Corinthian Smart-Casuals
ITK Heaton World Beaters	Vs	Dudley Boys
Quantum Mechanicals	Vs	Jessie's High Pants
Real Zaragossy	Vs	Pete's Porkie Pies
The Gallowgate	Vs	Screacher's Creatures
The Stellar Warriors	Vs	Spayne

BBS Notionless League Division 2

Doomed United	Vs	Bewildered De Builders
Douglas All Boys (B) Team	Vs	Ceptic
Gallowgateaserai	Vs	FC Forget-Me-Nots
Preston Big End	Vs	FC Jumpers for Goal Posts
Shilbottle WMC	Vs	Real Seghill
SS Enterprise	Vs	Sexy Boys
Toon Gutter Snipes	Vs	Superstitious FC
Unaccountable Wild-elf Bottles	Vs	The Entertainers

-- Anonymous, July 11, 2000

Answers

Are you out to get me Softie? That'll be my 4th Away game in 5 matches! And tough competition too! Still I should have an easy run in. :o))

-- Anonymous, July 11, 2000

God this randomiser has it in for me!!another poxy draw!

Can't we change to Guinevere? :((

-- Anonymous, July 12, 2000

4th in 5 Pilgrim? Mines the 5th away game in 6 matches! My home game in that time was a wonderful victory against Howdon :-))

-- Anonymous, July 12, 2000

It's me and you for the easy run-ins then Geordie!

After this match I'll have played 5 home and 8 away.

-- Anonymous, July 12, 2000

So much for trying to carefully pick my squad. Next season I'm using a dart board! (not much different from the way you picked your squad this season then -- Ed)

-- Anonymous, July 12, 2000

So which players will you be aiming the darts at? ;-)

-- Anonymous, July 12, 2000

If I could remember their names I'd tell ya! Then again...maybe a well placed dart in a few bums would get them moving a bit more. Hmmmmm, now where did I put that copy of Player Motivation for Dummies given to me by that nice Mr Gullet?

-- Anonymous, July 12, 2000

Okay - so we're more of a cup team. We can handle it!

-- Anonymous, July 12, 2000

Softie,

I sent my squad down to Chevy's Choppers while I was away scouting for new talent. I am very concerned that they have not yet returned. Any idea when I can expect them back?

Cheers,

-- Anonymous, July 13, 2000

Sadly, the fixtures were cancelled yesterday due to adverse weather conditions brought about by the League Chairman snoring on the sofa before watching Allie McBeal and going to bed.

Tonight the chairman is going to visit Dr Bill again who mentioned something about his daughter being summoned back from Scotland...clearly some arrangement will be reached regarding his remarkable 7-0 win the other day...

-- Anonymous, July 13, 2000

Well FC Hoothefukawi Football Club have been taking advantage of this mildseason break. We've been off to Whitley Caravan Park and having a bit of R&R. Having tanked Ceptic we are building up for an away match at Gallowgate Arsies with their loony manager. A man after my own heart. A place in the playoffs is looking like our best opinion although there is still a long way to go. A win against the Truks will be useful and we still need to score more to help with the gaol difference. I hope the Chairman sorts out the fixtures soon. The caravan site is getting busy and I don't know if we should book another couple of nights. I'm enjoying the bingo but the ballroom dancing was a bit too much for me and I'll have to give it a mint for a while. I'm looking forward to the cribbage competition tonight. That's going to be the highlight of my week.

-- Anonymous, July 14, 2000

Damn I hate these mid-season breaks.

Anybody know when we kick off again?

-- Anonymous, July 14, 2000

Softie. Have you tried posting your tables on this thread?

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2000

The first 'Ouch!!!' message I received was posting the results from scratch...that's just a case of the tables now being too big, as it was the first posting. I'll give it a go later, but don't hold out much hope as I wasn't able to post them on a purpose-built Greenspun Q&A Forum either. I've been looking through to see if I left an html tag open which is somehow buggering everything up, but they are all closed as far as I can see.

-- Anonymous, July 17, 2000