yesterday making rounds to the local yard sales i met a lady who changed my out look on life around here, things have been rough with our neighbor from hell, the house sitter and a few other things.we {4 children and my self} were just looking around and found a whole book of homeschooling books , i was so happy then another walked by and start to laugh and said "oh you are one of those people, who hide your family from from the real world"! well at that the owner of the books stepped in and to this ladys face said"of all the wonderful things you could have said to her why that? well lady# 2 did not know what to say but added a comment about "social skills" and to that lady #1 said "yes you are right , i can tell from you you should work on yours and your sons" #2 just walked away. ok its not earth shattering but that was the first person to ever stick up for my wants to homeschool besides my husband, around here hs. is not real common.i think i have found a friend, and friends for the kids who fit our ideas and values. i guess you never realy know who you are going to meet when you walk out your door.

-- renee oneill (oneillsr@home.com), July 09, 2000

Answers

Renee, good for the lady selling the home schooling books! I for one think home schooling is a wonder way to raise and educate your children. I wish I could have done it but it was almost illegal back then. I have friends who home school and their children are articulate, socialble, intellengent, and POLITE! Now there is a forgotten thing manners, remember that? As lady #2, shows manners are all but lost now. So hold your head high, too many people are letting the shcool system raise their children and you can see how well that is working. karen

-- Karen Mauk (dairygoatmama@hotmail.com), July 09, 2000.

I agree! most people I know use the school system as a "FREE" babysitting service! I didn't home school my children but we were very involved with the classrooms,lessons, homework and helping the teachers understand that our children were our responsiblity not theirs! Most had a very hard time getting this message...We taught our children before they went to school and during summers! Not with just books but with manners,working skills and MOST of all OUR values not someone elses! Good for you--and all the others who want the responsiblity for your own childern! Enjoy every minute-- soon they will be gone away to college or working and living out on their own! Then you can sit back & smile at what a wonderful job you have done!

-- Debbie T in N.C. (rdtyner@mindspring.com), July 09, 2000.

Renee. Let's hear it for your new found friend. Homeschooling seems to bring out some very strong reactions in people. I have never understood why (some) people who don't HS carry such resentment towards it, and us. That "social skills" Bullstuff wears me out. I've been hearing that for 10 years. Be proud of your decision to HS. Do your best and "Train them up in the way they should go, and when they are old thet shall not depart from it". Remember that people will be watching your kids, so work on those manners. We live in a world where Bart Simpson seems to be the accepted role model. You can do better than that, because there YOUR KIDS. You love 'em and want whats best for them. Pray for guidence and wisdom. And be encouraged. John

-- john (jsmengel@freewwweb.com), July 09, 2000.

I had to smile at everyone stories. We are quite often complimented and/or questioned about our children's behavior. (They question how they can act so civil) I am pleased but often think to myself "Are you talking about THESE children, the one I live with???" Either we have very high expectations or the world has very low ones (probably both).

Renee, You do your best with your kids and the world will notice the difference!!

-- Vaughn (vdcjm5@juno.com), July 09, 2000.

You might comment to the next mouth that criticizes your home schooling that the recent National Spelling first and second place winners were home schooled!!

-- ~Rogo (rogo2020@yahoo.com), July 09, 2000.

renee, I think you have all reason to be proud of Home-Schooling. No reason to feel ashamed, hold your head High. It is a hard task, many other slough off to others (I was not exempt). Wish I could have been so courageous.

-- Hold Your (He@dup.Hold.com), July 09, 2000.

I think I've actually figured out why some people's reaction to home schooling is so negative. They take it as a judgment against their decision to send their children off to be schooled by others. I think too, that some feel some sense of guilt about feeling a sense of relief when their children head out the door in the morning, and this makes them defensive. The basic fact that they are missing is that homeschooling ISN'T for everyone, and I don't think I know a homeschooler who would suggest that a person who doesn't really WANT to homeschool should -- I don't think you could do your children more damage.

When we made the decision to homeschool our younger son, I was a bit leary of telling our family and friends, being unsure of the reaction we would get. Surprisingly, the reactions we did get were completely the opposite of what we thought we would get. My parents who are older and very traditional, were overjoyed and extremely supportive, as were several friends who teach in the public school system. My sister, who is very much a free-thinker, made it clear without words that she thought we were out of our minds.

To each their own. I would suggest, Renee, that should you come across this attitude in future you simply tell the person that each parent must make their own decision on their children's needs, as she apparently had.

-- Tracy (trimmer@westzone.com), July 09, 2000.

I met by chance the director of employment at a local manufacturing plant. He said they have to have classes for most new hires (out of high school) on simple math (e.g., what is one-half of 64 - without using a calculator) and on how to read procedures as simple as they can make them. Doesn't say much for a high school education today. I wasn't homeschooled, but do remember when momma hung out the wash on Monday mornings in the summer one year I had to help while citing the multiplication tables from 1x1 to 10x10 three times in a row perfectly. If on the third time I said 9x9 was 82, I started over. I have known parents who homeschooled in the garage or family room on Saturday mornings to supplement what their kids weren't getting on Monday thru Friday. With exceptions, I think homeschools will be proven to be far more successful than the typical high schooler today. I say exceptions, since I know a woman who's son doesn't attend school. She says if he learns to read and write by the time he is 18 she will be satisified. The kid is 13 and still can't read much above about the second or third grade level. I sometimes wonder if she isn't grooming future farm help for herself. I know that sounds callous, but...

-- Ken Scharabok (scharabo@aol.com), July 13, 2000.

Renee, I believe all education is good for a person to aquire, however home schooling is more intense and well rounded, provide you have the tools ( I am not talking about just the homeschooling manuals here). We have a ten year old son entering 5th this year and my wife and I are considering homeschooling, not because of violence and behavior issues, instead I see public schools moving more to assembly line educating ( remember Pink Floyd , The Wall) My son and I discussed this issue and he told me that he would rather be "a stone in a natural wall than a perfectly square brick". When he told me this I showed him how to continue in public school, asorbing the textbook information, while retaining his individuality. At the same time I began expanding my private library to include support texts to assist him through the next 4 years and Internet connections. I have no ill feelings toward public education, however homeschooling does afford a more detailed support of a childs needs. In closing, I believe the homestead environment to be the best natual sciences lab at our disposal. Success for your endeavor!

Jay Blair

-- Jay Blair (jayblair678@yahoo.com), July 13, 2000.

don't you just get SO TIRED of hearing that "socialization" argument???? our last homeschooler graduated in May of 1999 and I don't regret a minute of time spent that way! And the last one is now working full time while he decides what he wants to do with his career; is VERY outgoing; and works at a job doing computer CAD operations making more money than a lot of college grads while he's deciding what he "wants" to do! This poor "unsocialized" child only had Boy Scouts, soccer, and band (a group of homeschoolers from three counties who meet about every other month and who practiced weekly in our county)...not to mention going to work part time when he was 15 and learning about responsibility, etc. etc. etc.

Let's all breath a prayer of thanks for your "stranger," and that she just especially feels blessed and has a wonderful weekend!

-- Suzy in 'Bama (slgt@yahoo.com), July 15, 2000.

My usual response to people who bring up the "Kids need public school for the socialization." is, perhaps they need to spend 9 hours a day in County Jail for the "socialization." That is the educational experience and socialization equal to public school.

My kids love the freedom of homeschooling.

-- Laura (gsend@hotmail.com), July 15, 2000.

HOMESCHOOLING IS A WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE NOT ONLY FOR THE CHILD , BUT FOR THE "TEACHER" AS WELL. iT GIVES THE FLEXIABILITY NOT ALLOWED IN THE PUBLIC SCHOOL. WE HAVE 7 NEICES, AND NEPHEWS THAT ARE ASSOCIATED WITH A CHURCH GROUP IN ELM MOTT TEXAS THIS GROUP IS ABOUT 700 FAMILIES STRONG, THEY HOMESCHOOL IN THE MORNINGS AND THEN TAKE THE CHILDREN TO THE CHURCH LAND FOR AFTERNOON CLASSES THEY CALL IT A "CURRICULUM FOR LIFE". AT THE CHURCH LAND THEY LEARN SUCH THINGS AS WEAVING, SEWING, POTTERY, BLACKSMITHING, WOODWORKING, LEATHER AND FARMING AND ON AND ON AND ON, THEY NOT ONLY LEARN A TRADE OR AT LEAST KNOWLEDGE TO BE SELF-SUFFICENT BUT ALSO HAVE THE "SOCIALIZATION" EVERYONE FEELS IS SO NECESSARY FOR CHILDREN. MUSIC AND ART IS ALSO A PART OF THEIR LEARNING SOME HAVE GONE ON TO MAKE THEIR OWN INSTRUMENTS.

I GUESS WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IF THEIR IS A GREAT ENOUGH WANT THE NEED IS MET. 700+ FAMILIES CAN'T BE WRONG.

JUST THOUGHT I WOULD THROW IN THIS INFORMATION. BLESSINGS SALLY

-- sally stanton (mallardhen67@hotmail.com), March 23, 2001.

I have not homeschooled my children as I had to work (please no negative comments here, their father passed away), but do respect those who have the resources to homeschool. I always wanted to do that and feel that I could have done as well as the schools. I did teach riding instruction to 11 children who were homeschooled and these children were (1) socialized, (2) very bright!, (3) interested in each other instead of self, (4) responsible for younger siblings by choice as in: no one told them to keep an eye on the toddlers, the older children just DID it, and (5) respectful of the adults. These children were 7th Day Adventists and I loved every minute of teaching them even though I had to do it on Sundays as Saturday was their Sabbath! I wish all parents had the opportunity to witness how wonderful these kids were. Don't ever apologize for what you are doing if your children turn out to be bright, loving, forgiving, intelligent, curious, responsible, caring, decent, and above all, independent thinkers! (no, they don't have to get it all, just one or two now days qualifies as success!)

-- Cindy (colawson@mindspring.com), March 24, 2001.

Cindy, Thank-You! You will not hear one negative comment from anyone who regularly posts' here! Yours is the truly unavoidable, heartbreaking situation that requires strength, fortitude and faith! Lots and lots of Faith! Bless you and I salute you! Thanks for the encouragement, it blesses each one of us.

-- Wendy@GraceAcres (wjl7@hotmail.com), March 24, 2001.

Renee,

As a second year hser with four sons, I can certainly appreciated how it feels to get support for what a noble thing you are doing for your munchkins and to not feel so alone! My response to comments like, “Aren’t you worried about socialization?” is “Oh yes! That’s one of the reasons I hs!” And when asked, “When are you going to let them go to real school?” I respond, “Oh, over the past 21 years of raising our sons, we’ve been involved with government school, private/Christian school and hs. Guess what? Hs is real and by our standards, superior to other educational facilities. So, when are you bringing yours home?” I usually don’t add that last part unless someone has been really rude. I don’t get bent out of shape with people who are just plain ol’ misinformed and curious. I do get bent with rudeness! I mean I would NEVER walk up to someone I didn’t know and ask them why they are sending their kids to government school, and then give them my unsolicited opinion on the whole matter!

I think you got some great responses here. I am just a kinda new lurker/homesteader wanna be, with a two year plan for our family (me, hubby and kiddos) to be in the country, but, I had to respond to your post.

Keep your head held high for YOU are raisin’ up your children and enjoy your new friend! Oh… another reason to LOVE yard sales!

Kelly in Ohio

-- Kelly in Ohio (kmyers01@commkey.net), March 24, 2001.

Good for her!! I feel like gagging I hear that socialization thing so much. argh...I was really nervous about moving to a new town and having to re-adjust to things. Especially homeschooling. We are not as active with the homeschooling group as we were , but we will get back into that. But, I have not had the negative response in this university town like I thought I would. I get more "Oh, I wish I could do that" then I did where I used to live. Go figure...anyway, it is a nice change. I don't know anyone yet that homeschools,in this town, but it seems there are a lot that would like to.Keep up the good work!!

-- Cindy in Ok (cynthiacluck@yahoo.com), May 12, 2001.