I need a moment to kick some sloppy booty! Is there something I missed when I was being potty trained? Some gymnastic feat that causes you to splash piss everywhere? Us females are in theory supposed to be cleaner than the guys we always pick on, but what happens to us when we cross the threshold of a public bathroom? Is it some kind of rebellious streak that I don't know about? All I know is that I'm tired of walking into bathrooms in my office building that look (and smell) worse than the bathroom at the punk bar I used to frequent as a teen.

Currently, I go to bars with androgynous bathrooms (No, Ally McBeal didn't invent the concept), and they're still cleaner than the ones at work. I just know one day I'm going to catch somebody coming out of a dirty stall, and I'm going to get in a fistfight. Am I the only one with a potty peeve?

-- Anonymous, July 04, 2000

Answers

I so hate public bathrooms. I refuse to use public bathrooms under any conditions whatsoever. The last time I ever used a public bathroom was about 9 months ago at the mall. I went inside and looked for a clean stall to use but all of them had urine all over the toilet seats, used toilet tissue on the floor or dirty sanitary napkins on the floor -- and here's the kicker: used sanitary napkins STUCK TO THE WALL inside of the stall.

I hate, hate, HATE public bathrooms. People are generally cleaner creatures in the public view. I'd hate to think what their biohazard bathrooms look like at home. Ewww.

-- Anonymous, July 04, 2000

Wendy, when I worked at Chapters, it was often my job to clean up the bathrooms during the day (The cleaning staff theoretically took care of that at night). You've probably heard me gripe about it more than once, but I can tell you, I have never seen a bathroom as messy as the one at the Chapters I worked at in Montreal. I would regularly find stuff smeared on the walls. Toilet paper (used or otherwise) would litter the room, and nobody knew how to flush. I never had the joy of cleaning the mens' room, but that ladies' room (I use the term "ladies" loosely) was a sty. The funny thing is that statistically, ladies' washrooms are filthier than mens' rooms. Nobody seems to know why. And don't even get me started on people who don't wash their hands!

-- Anonymous, July 04, 2000

I think it partly has to do with the fact that they feel that they don't have to clean them so they aren't going to worry about how dirty they leave them.
Also, alot of women squat so that they don't have to touch the toilet seat, whether it was dirty to begin with or not, and therefor they splash, miss, whatever...and they don't bother to take the time to clean up after themselves.
However, to take the sides of women, our restrooms are WAY cleaner than mens! :o)

-- Anonymous, July 05, 2000

No, mens washrooms aren't dirtier than womens. The ladies room is disgusting. It's pretty universal. At one building where I worked, the ladies room was so gross that I started using the mens room. It was that bad. And I've seen the used pad stuck to the wall, the used tampon on the floor, and excrement smeared all over. Don't tell me that just because we're women, that we're neater. It's a lie.

Although, I have seen some pretty icky mens rooms, too.

-- Anonymous, July 05, 2000

I'm glad someone brought this up. It's been bugging me. I worked at a small preschool and it wasn't even the little girls that were the problem. They were as clean as you could expect a little one who has to get on her tippy-toes to sit on the seat. I would check the bathroom and clean it up a little. All was fine. What got me was the teachers. I understand not wanting to plop down on a seat that you can be fairly assured has been pee-ed on but.....WHY can't they wipe the seat AFTER??? I guess after reading some of your entries I should be glad, it wasn't THAT bad. But every time I go in there I thought of the sign my aunt had in her bathroom. "If you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweety and wipe the seaty." Corny, but oh well.

-- Anonymous, July 05, 2000

Once, when I was working in a pretty high profile restaurant, I won't name names, but everybody knows it, it starts with a C, and it has THE MOST IRRITATING commercials, I was doing double duty as a hostess and a bus girl. A woman came up to the front and told me there was a problem in the ladies. When I walked in, a girl was helping her granny up off the floor, where she had, well...had an accident on herself. I felt bad, really I did, but it was everywhere!! I swear I have never seen so much poo in my life. The girl did not even look at me, just left. Then the family left the restaurant without even paying the bill! No "we're sorry" No "we need to report a mess" nothing. I have never been able to use a public restroom since. * I do have a friend (female) who can urinate standing up. I cannot figure that one out.

-- Anonymous, July 05, 2000

Here's a fun one.

My mom owns a small grocery/convenience store. Two winters ago, a tour bus broke down just down the road from the store. The busfolk came into the store to purchase snacks, get warm, etc. The store does not have a public bathroom, just a teeny tiny employee washroom. Several busfolk had to pee and such, so my mother was kind enough to allow them to use said employee bathroom. After they left, mom went in their. Well, one or more of the tourists had used the handtowel to wipe his/her ass. Yes, there was plenty of toilet paper. Frankly, I've never wiped my ass with a towel. Is this some sort of strange custom that we Canadians are unfamiliar with? Anyway, it was beyond nasty.

-- Anonymous, July 05, 2000

This may be going a little against the topic, but I feel this needs to be told... =)

When I was seventeen, I had a job at a local Subway sandwich shop. One slow evening (thankfully slow) we had some trash come in. Two guys, three women, and a baby, which comes into play later. They get their sandwiches, sit in the lobby to eat 'em, and head out. About a half hour later, I'm out sweeping the lobby when I realize I have to take a piss. I hit the bathroom...

... and when I open the door, it's just like walking into a horror movie. There is shit literally smeared all over all four walls, the ceiling, all over the mirror, and so forth. They drew suns and moons on the walls in shit, wrote words like "bitch" and "fuck," and then they were nice enough to leave a big ploop of it on the floor, put a paper towel over it, and smash it down.

Needless to say, Doris cleaned all that up whilst I helped what customers we had. She was 45 and I was 17, so she'd already had experience with baby shit. So does this count as potty peeve?

-- Anonymous, July 05, 2000

Women's rooms are defintitely worse than men's--for one thing-- sanitary products that NEVER ever get disposed of the right way. I never cease to be disgusted at what people refuse to flush or throw away but leave for people to smell and look at. talk about the dry- heaves.

I seriously think it's a type of anger-agressive disorder... it's like people take out their frustration in such a childish way. By the way, that Subway, baby poop story is beyone horrible. And wiping your ass with a TOWEL.... in a public bathroom!?!??!?!? huh?!?? isn't anyone worried about catching nasty diseases from that. I swear, I was in the Weston Hotel in Boston--this was back in highschool.... or about 6-8 yrs ago... Some "high-class" Euro tourist was in the bathroom at the same time I was--doing the makeup thing etc. Then when we both went into stalls, she was in the stall next to me... proceeded to let loose (no shame) and then left, without washing her hands. When i passed by the stall on my way out, I couldn;t help but notice she hadn't flushed that which she let loose, or her monthy mess (if you catch my drift). I literally left the bathroom and looked for the lady..., ready to do some harm.

People are justr plain skanky man.

Now I'm disgusted, and fired up... what to do.

-- Anonymous, July 05, 2000

Heh, after living in the dorms with 20-30 other women my age, I can vouch that women's bathrooms are nastier than men's. I too have heard of women who hover on the seat rather than plunk their little butts on the daily-cleaned toilet seats, god forbid. Women are also secretly nasty with anything having to do with their menstrual cycles. I think it's because women have always been taught to be look nice and smell nice - anything foul coming out of our bodies is too much of a shock for some people. They can't handle it.

Also, I have a major potty peeve: People who don't wash their hands after going to the bathroom! How disgusting! A friend of mine never, ever washed her hands. When I called her on it, she said it's because she doesn't touch "anything". Even if you don't get pee on your hand, you should still wash your hands - think of where your hands have been. Doorknobs, keys, keyboards, wiping your nose, etc. Ugh. Wash your hands, PLEASE. If not for your sake, then for mine.

-- Anonymous, July 06, 2000

Re: men's v. women's bathrooms

In my experience, women's tend to be nastier in cheaper restaurants (and places like gas stations, etc). Not sure why, but my theory was always that women end up taking their children and babies into the ladies' room with them more often than men take children into the men's room. There's no excuse for not cleaning up after your own brood, but some people don't. Also, gum wads, burns left from unattended cigarette butts and graffiti require more deliberate slovenly/destructive intent rather than raised-in-a-sty carelessness, and I get more irked over that than, say, a stray paper towel on the floor instead of the trash can.

The more elegant the restaurant or public facility, the nicer the women's bathroom is vs. the men's. Either they are intimidated by the decor (or soothed into sitting on the seat bare-assed or using the sanitary liners rather than sprinkling) or there are fewer younger people in there.

I've worked in restaurants and clubs and casinos, and the definitng line between foul and fair really does seem to be the average age of the potty facility users and how posh the place with the bathrooms IS, not gender.

-- Anonymous, July 06, 2000

I go to high school. I go to a fairly large high school, of about 2000 students. Now I am fairly mature for my age, as are many of friends, so we don't do this but...the filthy restroom epidemic had gotten so bad at my school that they HAD TO LOCK SEVERAL OF THE RESTROOMS. Some of the teachers explained why as well: these restrooms did not experience the usual water everywhere, toilet paper stuck on the stalls, not even the lone used pad on the ground. Noooo. These restroom had feces spread on the walls, urine in the sinks (in the girls room too!!), not to mention the clouds of cigarette smoke hovering in the air. It is disgusting! I don't smoke, but when I come out of the restrooms sometimes, you can bet I do by the way my hair and clothing smell. Its pretty nasty...

-- Anonymous, July 06, 2000

Oh yeah, this brings back a memory that apparently I had forgotten. From sixth grade to senior year of high school, there was this really bizzare, err.. phenomenon, shall we say. At least once a year, in the girls' bathroom (which most of the time was pretty clean, I must say) there would be this HUGE poop in one of the toilets. I kid you not. It was MASSIVE. At least the size of a baby. It filled up the entire toilet. I don't know if it was just that the toilet backed up and everyone's poop got all mushed together or if someone actually created the monstrosity. I would like to think the former, but ugh... And it was something that *every* girl in my class knew about. We never talked about it until it actually happened, but once someone spotted the enormous piece of shite, it was all over the school in a minute. Even the guys would venture into the girls' bathroom to look at it. To this day I have no idea what it was. And I have never seen anything like it again.

-- Anonymous, July 06, 2000

i am going to take the "people are pigs" out of the bathroom. humans are dirty and inconsiderate no matter where they are. example: the morning after forth of july i drive thru the park that the great "i love America" festivities took place. the park was trashed! beer cans, fast food containers, boxes, cig. butts. dirty diapers! ick!

-- Anonymous, July 06, 2000

OMG!!! i have issues with the restrooms! once this asshole sub came to my school and in addition to being completely incompetant, he pissed all over the damn floor and seat and everything. i mean when he came out of there the walls were practically dripping IEW! which leads me to believe that his aim was a bit um.. lets say... HIGHER than it should have been. iew. boner! i teach high school. the girls are kinda slutty lookin. he spent a lot of time in there. i am SOOOO grossed out.

Caitlyn

-- Anonymous, July 06, 2000

I avoid using public restrooms if I can. But, just the other day I was driving home from a trip and I had to use the washroom after drinking 5 cups of water and there was nowhere else to stop other than one of those god awful rest areas. I walk into the washroom, it looks ok..until I enter the stall. Blood EVERYWHERE! The floor is covered in blood.. Let's just say I changed my mind about using that washroom...

-- Anonymous, July 07, 2000

Just to throw a little something different into the mix here... I always thought there was someone peeing all over the toilet seat in the middle stall of my office's restroom, until I had to use that particular stall a few days ago.

It's just a really exuberant toilet, is all. It's so happy to see you that it sprays a bit when you flush. I know, it's still gross, but not as gross as someone deliberately weeing on the seat, y'know?

Not like public restrooms aren't sick anyway. Bleh. I think we all know that. I'd tell my own nasty public restroom stories, but I just came back from lunch and I don't want to make myself boot.

no extra day -- filmmakers who always flush and wash their hands

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000

Exactly how hard is it to put a pad in the trash? i'm appalled at the interesting places i've found women stuff used pads. it's disgusting! on the walls, behind the toilet, under the toilet seat! most public bathrooms even have trashcans in each stall now, but no one uses them. Yick!

-- Anonymous, July 10, 2000