what is your shopping manifesto?

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2000

Answers

"Drop the pashmina, and back away slowly. Now, embrace your inner Jimmy Choo."

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2000

Clothes: get yo shit and get the hell out da hiz-ouse. And avoid clothes you have to pull over your head (don't wanna muss the hair).
Music: make sure it's what you want before you get it, unless you can listen first.
Major appliances: shop around. Find deals. Sales.
Overall: Never, ever pay by credit card. For the love of Allah, have the money now or don't do it.

I know it's all guy-ish 'n shit, but hey. I just gotta be me. =)

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2000

Welcome to my internal monolouge that begins as soon as I hit the mall. "OK, here we go. Jeez, it's a really good thing I don't see those super-cute Manolo Blahnik's over there. I might just have to buy them. That would be bad for the old pocketbook, huh? Wow, wonder what I would do if I saw that Kate Spade bag? Probably buy it and parade it all over town. Good thing I haven't noticed it yet. Ooooo, those pants are so cute, and that skirt. I could really use a skirt just like that... No, no, no!!! I didn't see them, I didn't see them, I didn't see them. There we go, good girl, almost out of Bloomies... almost there, hang on! Hang on! Ahhhhhh.... Payless Shoes. I made it."

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2000

Dear Pammie, hey wow! I can't believe that i won 2nd place! I am so truly honoured and flattered and happy... see? - :)

Really...:) :) :) :0 :0 :)

I hope :0 doesn't mean anything weird - i just thought it looked kind of funny...

I like Kristen's shopping manifesto a lot: lol I like Heith's too. ( Does this mean that you just wear cardigans Heith? - nothing that goes over the head and stuff... Hey, what about t-shirts?) I like Andi's too. In fact, I like everything today! ( tonight, here in Greece) :)

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2000

If they don't have it on the web I usually don't buy it. That includes groceries.

Strike major appliances from that list, however. :o)

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2000

I have to remind myself that my life won't change if I buy those new clothes or whatever. That feeling I have of the universe suddenly expanding and I'm understanding things that I never understood before? That's a mistake and I don't really feel that way. It's actually the feeling of budget destruction, which is also giddy- making.

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2000

Okay...I have one simple rule for shopping....

"Never go to the mall with something specific in mind."

My shopping trend seems to be that if I head out with an idea in my head, I end up buying the exact opposite. If I want to buy a nice outfit for work, I usually end up with capris or jeans or shorts...If I set out looking for a nice, comfy casual outfit, I come home with a bag full of dresses and skirts. Never fail.

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2000

I am right with you on that. Just two days ago I went on a trip to the store with one very clear objective in mind: "Get comfy shorts." (This was precipitated by the 90-degree heat wave we're having in Seattle this week.)

Two hours later, I emerge with what? Two tank tops and a short- sleeved shirt from Eddie Bauer. Oh, and also a new pair of sunglasses. But no shorts, comfy or otherwise. Sigh.

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2000

If it doesn't fit, don't buy it in the hope that someday it will.

I learned that lesson the hard way.

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2000

Jan---Ugh....the heat is killin me. Thank God my workplace has A/C.

I grew up in the midwest and when I moved to Seattle a year ago, I was baffled that no homes/apartments had A/C....last summer I understood, this summer it sucks!

DIGRESSION~DIGRESSION~DIGRESSION

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2000

"Never go to the mall with something specific in mind."

Word to your mother. That's so true.

Only exception is for things that have been featured in every single women's magazine ever. You can be as specific as you like if it's been plastered all over kingdom come in those glossy rags--you're guaranteed to find multiple versions, both originals and knock-offs. I.e., you'll see 400 similar pairs of red tiger-stripe hip-hugger capris with turquoise blue beady things on the hems. Problem: you don't want them. They don't want you. And they only look good on those anorexic 12 year old types with flat chests, ten piercings and dyed blue hair, the kind that sneak out their bedroom windows late at night to flash fake IDs and heavily-kohled unwrinkled eyes at doormen and listen to loud music by people three times their age instead of doing their Algebra homework and going to bed like good pre-teens. (I think there are a grand total of five of these kids in the entire universe.)

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2000

I hate malls. Get in, find what you want, and get out. I admit sometimes I'm in the mood to wander aimlessly, in which case the manifesto changes to: Get in, look around, and just before you get out, get what you want.

I dunno - I wouldn't go to a grocery store without having a list, so why would I go to any other store without one?

With internet shopping, the only real reason I go to stores is to browse. Or for immediate gratification. That's the dangerous part, when you find something nifty on the web, decide to check it out at the store - and then fall madly in love with it and decide it needs to spend the night with you...

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000

irene in a mall:

what the f*ck am i doing in the mall?! i HATE this place. must leave quickly... too poor to purchase that which is unnecessary... wait- i need a new bra... no- RUN AWAY!!!!

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000

My shopping manifesto has three parts:

The first part can be summed up in two words: "OOOOooooooo, shoes!"

I cannot resist shoes. Fortunately, I have a hard to fit foot or I'd have way more than I do now! In general, I love accessories: purses, sunglasses, cosmetics, etc.

The second part of the manifesto is "Do not buy leather pants if you live in Texas." It's too damn hot to wear them except maybe one month out of the year.

The third part is "Do you have that in black?" Although, for the past year or so, I've gotten into pink and orange.

Know that the lighting will suck so try it on again at home before you cut the tags out. Never buy anything with a scratchy tag that is sewn into the collar in such a way that you have to rip the shirt apart and resew it to get the damn tag out.

And, if you really really love it, buy it now. It won't be around when the sale starts and you'll kick yourself for not buying it.

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000

My problem shopping item used to be bras. I would go into the mall to buy jeans or something entirely unrelated, and wind up traipsing out of Victoria's Secret with four new bras. I was unstoppable.

I no longer allow myself to enter that store.

Unfortunately, now that weird desire has manifested itself into a need for watches. I swear to God, there is a magnetic field that draws me into jewelry/watch stores. I'm scared to death to see what obsession hits me next.

In general, I despise shopping. Ultimately I walk out of the mall feeling twice the size that I entered the mall, and I smell of perfume that I will never, ever buy. Those perfume salesladies that attack you with scents are the devil's minions, I swear.

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000

Shoes. I must have ten million pairs of shoes available to me at all times. Shoes with heels. Shoes with lots of straps. Leather sandals. Leather boots. Hiking boots. I cannot leave the mall without a new pair of shoes. I need help!

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000

I am a shopping fool. I covet things and make lists of the things I covet. I never go to the mall, I just buy things online. My credit card is maxed.

So my new shopping manifesto is, until that credit card is paid off, I can't buy anything that I can't pay for out of the 1/4 of my paycheck that I put in my debit card account each month. I have to leave enough in that account to pay for food for me and the cats, and household essentials.

I'm addicted to shoes, CDs, electronic gadgets, clothes, earrings, you name it. And I have poor impulse control. Especially when instant gratification is just a button click away. Must...control...self...

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000

Oh, shopping. I NEVER find what I am looking for. Ever. I went shopping today. I was looking for a pair of shoes. I found everything else in the world. I swear all the stores were having the best sales ever. I did not even mean to spend much money. I had $140 in my pocket when i walked into and I had $18 in it when I walked out. For that $122 I got: 3 pairs of jeans, a dress, a skirt, a t-shirt, a cardigan, and a super wonderful orange silk blouse. I was so happy I forgave myself for not finding the shoes. If I'd have been looking for any one of those items I would not have found them and it would have been a hellish experience. So in summary, I love shopping. But not when I mean to.

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000

Some kinds of shopping I love. Like buying clothes in New York. With the exception of Macy's, which is two towers, and seven floors of shopping - no water fountain. One fine August day, when I was having an anxiety attack trying to find the exit in that labrynth, I fainted. Out cold from dehydration. Bet your ass those lawsuit-wary management types found me some water, and damn quick! Never went back. I have similar anxiety attacks in Ikea.

I HATE shoe shopping. I hate it the way men hate having to buy "girl- things" for thier women. Heather used to drag me to Payless when my old shoes would rot away, or cause gangrenous sores on my feet. She'd even pay for the damn shoes, just to get me in them.

Grocery shopping is something people love to do with me. I'll engage in frozen swordfish fights, I have a tendancy to dance down the aisles with a broom while singing "You Make Me Feel So Young", and then there was the incident with the run-away superball, but that was all Heather! When I grocery shop alon, I talk to myself. Not just "These canned peas are ten cents cheaper than those canned peas", but complete conversations.

For the most part, I shop like a man. Very little browsing, I usually know what I want before I get there. Maybe once a year I go on a Shop- Like-A-Diva fest.

-- Anonymous, July 06, 2000