Match Number 2

9 September 1995, Southampton away, we lost 1-0. We won 10 of our first 11 games that season...trust the poxy random number generator... Magilton, in case you were ineterested :-(

Points Hislop 1 Barton 2 Beresford 2 Peacock 2 Howey 2 Lee 2 Ferdinand 2 Clark 2 Ginola 2 Gillespie 1 (booked) Fox 2 Kitson 1 (sub)

Results: Match 2

BBS Premier Corinthian League

Pilgrim's Converts	5-2	Athletico Backworth
Proper Lard Unathletic	2-0	Barton's Samba
Steph's Superstars	4-1	Beardo United
Toon Goons	3-3	Borussia Canwehaveourballbach
Wallsend Old Boys	0-2	Brewery Droopers United
Woodstock County	5-1	Dabizas Pleazas
Yelli's Yobs	4-1	Duncan's Disorderlies
MinesaS&N Academicals	4-0	MacBeth's Marauders

BBS Notionless League Division 1

Pete's Porkie Pies	1-0	Baxter Basics
Quantum Mechanicals	2-1	Blaydon Racers
Real Zaragossy	0-3	Carlisle United Revisited
Screacher's Creatures	2-2	Chevy's Choppers
Spayne	5-0	Corinthian Smart-Casuals
The Gallowgate	4-0	Dudley Boys
The Stellar Warriors	4-4	Howdon Harriers
Jessie's High Pants	1-0	ITK Heaton World Beaters

BBS Notionless League Division 2

Sexy Boys	1-3	Bewildered De Builders
Shilbottle WMC	3-0	Ceptic
SS Enterprise	1-1	Doomed United
Superstitious FC	5-5	Douglas All Boys (B) Team
The Entertainers	8-0	FC Forget-Me-Nots
Toon Gutter Snipes	1-1	FC Jumpers for Goal Posts
Unaccountable Wild-elf Bottles	2-0	Gallowgateaserai
Real Seghill	0-3	Preston Big End

BBS Premier Corinthian League Table

Position	Team	Won	Dwn	Lst	G/F	G/A	G/Dif	Points
1	Pilgrim's Converts	2	0	0	10	2	8	6
2	Woodstock County	2	0	0	6	1	5	6
3	Steph's Superstars	2	0	0	6	2	4	6
4	Brewery Droopers United	2	0	0	5	1	4	6
5	MinesaS&N Academicals	1	1	0	6	2	4	4
6	Yelli's Yobs	1	1	0	6	3	3	4
7	Proper Lard Unathletic	1	0	1	3	3	0	3
8	Beardo United	1	0	1	4	5	-1	3
9	Dabizas Pleazas	1	0	1	3	6	-3	3
10	Borussia Canwehaveourballbach	0	1	1	4	5	-1	1
11	Toon Goons	0	1	1	4	6	-2	1
12	Athletico Backworth	0	1	1	4	7	-3	1
13	MacBeth's Marauders	0	1	1	2	6	-4	1
14	Wallsend Old Boys	0	0	2	1	4	-3	0
15	Duncan's Disorderlies	0	0	2	1	5	-4	0
16	Barton's Samba	0	0	2	0	7	-7	0

BBS Notionless League Division 1 Table

Position	Team	Won	Dwn	Lst	G/F	G/A	G/Dif	Points
1	Howdon Harriers	1	1	0	10	4	6	4
2	The Stellar Warriors	1	1	0	9	6	3	4
3	Carlisle United Revisited	1	1	0	4	1	3	4
4	Quantum Mechanicals	1	1	0	3	2	1	4
5	Spayne	1	0	1	5	4	1	3
6	Dudley Boys	1	0	1	4	4	0	3
7	Blaydon Racers	1	0	1	3	3	0	3
8	Baxter Basics	1	0	1	2	2	0	3
9	Jessie's High Pants	1	0	1	2	2	0	3
10	Pete's Porkie Pies	1	0	1	2	2	0	3
11	The Gallowgate	1	0	1	4	6	-2	3
12	Corinthian Smart-Casuals	1	0	1	2	6	-4	3
13	Chevy's Choppers	0	2	0	4	4	0	2
14	Screacher's Creatures	0	1	1	3	4	-1	1
15	Real Zaragossy	0	1	1	2	5	-3	1
16	ITK Heaton World Beaters	0	0	2	2	6	-4	0

BBS Notionless League Division 2 Table

Position	Team	Won	Dwn	Lst	G/F	G/A	G/Dif	Points
1	Preston Big End	2	0	0	6	1	5	6
2	Shilbottle WMC	2	0	0	6	1	5	6
3	Bewildered De Builders	1	1	0	6	4	2	4
4	Douglas All Boys (B) Team	1	1	0	6	5	1	4
5	FC Jumpers for Goal Posts	1	1	0	3	2	1	4
6	The Entertainers	1	0	1	9	2	7	3
7	Ceptic	1	0	1	4	3	1	3
8	Unaccountable Wild-elf Bottles	1	0	1	3	3	0	3
9	Gallowgateaserai	1	0	1	3	4	-1	3
10	FC Forget-Me-Nots	1	0	1	6	8	-2	3
11	Toon Gutter Snipes	0	1	1	3	4	-1	1
12	SS Enterprise	0	1	1	1	2	-1	1
13	Doomed United	0	1	1	2	4	-2	1
14	Real Seghill	0	1	1	3	6	-3	1
15	Superstitious FC	0	1	1	5	11	-6	1
16	Sexy Boys	0	0	2	1	7	-6	0

Fixtures: Match 3

BBS Premier Corinthian League

Athletico Backworth	Vs	Proper Lard Unathletic
Barton's Samba	Vs	Steph's Superstars
Beardo United	Vs	Toon Goons
Borussia Canwehaveourballbach	Vs	Wallsend Old Boys
Brewery Droopers United	Vs	Woodstock County
Dabizas Pleazas	Vs	Yelli's Yobs
Duncan's Disorderlies	Vs	MinesaS&N Academicals
MacBeth's Marauders	Vs	Pilgrim's Converts

BBS Notionless League Division 1

Baxter Basics	Vs	Quantum Mechanicals
Blaydon Racers	Vs	Real Zaragossy
Carlisle United Revisited	Vs	Screacher's Creatures
Chevy's Choppers	Vs	Spayne
Corinthian Smart-Casuals	Vs	The Gallowgate
Dudley Boys	Vs	The Stellar Warriors
Howdon Harriers	Vs	Jessie's High Pants
ITK Heaton World Beaters	Vs	Pete's Porkie Pies

BBS Notionless League Division 2

Bewildered De Builders	Vs	Shilbottle WMC
Ceptic	Vs	SS Enterprise
Doomed United	Vs	Superstitious FC
Douglas All Boys (B) Team	Vs	The Entertainers
FC Forget-Me-Nots	Vs	Toon Gutter Snipes
FC Jumpers for Goal Posts	Vs	Unaccountable Wild-elf Bottles
Gallowgateaserai	Vs	Real Seghill
Preston Big End	Vs	Sexy Boys

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000

Answers

Say I am bottom of the league say I am bottom of the league.......er hang on....that's not right is it......MAM

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000

Well done The Entertainers!

8 - 0 and no comment from the league organiser? Not even when he's gone TOTL???? He must be as cheesed off as me about that France result!

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000

Come on you Elf Bottles - 2nd game and we've won - yahhoo. Seems a shame I'm with the majority and don't understand the scoring - don't fret you're doing brill young Softie.

France were lucky - Italy will stuff them in the Final.

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000

I certainly share the heartache over the crapauds getting through again, spit! They simply must be stopped!

The Entertainers have first and second choice players from 1995-6 and 1996-7, so they will always do well in games from those seasons, but catch them in a later round and they are screwed! They had 17 out of 21 in this game, upped to 19 for home advantage, while Robby Bobson had 6. With the average being 8.5 for Div 2, it had to be quite a scoreline...

I thought the Howdon Harriers would win with a score of 12, but TSW clocked in with 11 (up to 13 for home advantage) which was not quite enough to take her 2 points clear so we drew with TSW getting the best chances to finish it.

Obviously the least satisfactory aspect of the scoring is that if you both get high scores you both score lots of goals, which isn't really how it works when two sides each play really well. This aspect is what the new system sorts out and should satisfy the harshest critics when we're done!

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000

Josh

Is your team name another anagram?

I ran it through Anagram Genius and it came up with "Club of downbeat intellectuals"

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000

Well it's nice to get back to winning ways. I would also like to appologise to the league chairman for that outrageous remark by a fan of the Gallowgate yetsreday. I can assure you that all such comments will lead to life bans.

-- Anonymous, June 28, 2000

Haven`t got a clue how the scoring works - but it worked for me! Up to second on a draw - can`t be bad! (:o)

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2000

5-5!?!?!? I take it that me and Douglas are fielding the same players :))

I took some enjoyment from that old fool Robby losing 8-0 after he gloated so much at his 6-0 thrashing of me!!

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2000

This time of the season always throws up a few unusual results. Last night was one of those occasions and we at Langley Park are still very continent that we will not foul up too many times. I was impressed by The Entertainers but we all know there is a long way to go and our next game is back at Langley Park where we will be back to winning ways.
We mustn't let our heads go down and it is my job as couch to make sure of this. If only I can get Silvio going,please, then we will suprprise a lot of people.
Bring on the Gutted Snipes.

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2000

TeamTwaddle press release.

After a tight scrap in 'The Ditch' that resulted in a 1-1 draw with FC Jumpers For Goals, the Toon Gutter Snipes are busily wiping the grime from themselves and preparing to pick a posie when they visit FC Forget-Me-Nots.

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2000

Undefeated Bewildered Debuilders march on. (after 2 games!)

Shilbottle WMC next in line after the sexy boys received a bucket of cold water.

Oh and BEAVER are ecstatic and tomorrow night they have organised a small function as gratitude. Very entertaining.

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2000

I can assure The Gutted Snipes a warm welcome at Langley Park Tre. I assume we will recognise you by the anoroak.
We're a bit short of facilties as I am in the muddle of a rebuilding programme. We've got the new showers installed but have no money left in the kitbag for any soap. Can you please ask your sponsors "World of Lather" if they could send us a few bars?

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2000

Come on Josh

Answer my question! :o))

-- Anonymous, June 29, 2000

Dear Mr Bobbson.

In case you didn't see the earlier press release, Toon Gutter Snipes signed a new sponsorship deal with TeamTwaddle and have renamed their stadium to Twaddle Down Ditch.

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000

Piglirm, I haven't checked it, but it looks suspiciously like an anagram for Newcastle United Football Clubto me. OK - I have checked it now and it is. Not a bad one eh?

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000

Damn!

How embarrasing to be a "Club of Downbeat Intellectuals". I wish I hadn't posted that now!

(btw you're a right smart-arse Screacher :o))

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000

5-5?

-- Anonymous, June 30, 2000

For the last time, I know that the scoring system is cockeyed since 2 high scoring sides score lots of goals each, but it is still a damn sight better than just totting up the total numbers of points your team scores each week isn't it? I mean if not, and you don't think you're getting your money's worth out of this competition, then just say so and I'll save myself all kinds of bother.

The next generation of this game has a completely different, 1,000 times better scoring system and is quite possibly marketable. In the meantime, you'll just have to be patient with this one. The way it currently works, however, is that if your score is much higher than the average for your division, then you have scored lots of goals. Simple but effective, just lacking in realism. If you can find a better, free, Toon-footie-based game then please show it to me, as this one takes lots of time and effort to maintain.

-- Anonymous, July 01, 2000

Mornin' Softie. Wrong side of the bed eh? Or just realisation that tomorrow you'll be another year older? Take heart from all the compliments you've been handed. And keep up the good work!

-- Anonymous, July 01, 2000

Something like that...just trod in a pile of cat turd while making my coffee this morning and it squidged between my toes. Should have smelled it coming :-(

You are right, though, a very tetchy first posting of the day for which I apologize...just getting a bit tired of saying sorry for the scoring system: the way to look at it is that you are just as likely to beat a side 7-0 as you are to draw 5-5, it just depends which game gets drawn and how many players you each have compared to the rest of your peers. If a typical mainstream side is drawn for which nearly everyone has at least 6 players, the average will also be much higher so the individual scores should be much tighter: it's the odd games with the less fancied players which allow people to get so much higher than the average, and like I keep saying, we've learnt from the mistakes and have improved the system, there just happens to be days of patient donkey-work inputting the source-data and linking the tables together before we can unveil it.

-- Anonymous, July 01, 2000

Softie, I haven`t even tried to put my mind to the scoring system, I just think it`s great fun, and I love it! It is meant to be fun, isn`t it? (:o)

Commiserations on the foot/cat poo thing - not nice! Was this another silent protest from your elder cat? New arrivals can have that effect, so keep your slippers by the side of the bed, as you may get more of the same when baby Softie arrives! (from the cat, that is, not baby Softie!)(:o)

-- Anonymous, July 01, 2000

It certainly is Galaxy, the dirty protests started immediately...I should have noticed Tigger watching my morning routine with such interest; she must have been pacing it out before choosing the exact spot to strike a feline blow against humanity :-)

-- Anonymous, July 01, 2000

Pilgrim

Screach sussed it - what about the stadium ?

Jam Nasties Park - easy one ain't it ?

Shame - nonody sorted my anagram the 1st time. I'll have to be more obtuse next time.

Josh

-- Anonymous, July 01, 2000