...that the phone can be quiet all day, but the moment I leave my desk to go to the bathroom/get a glass of water/have lunch it rings non-stop?

...that the phone can be quiet all day, but then all 10 lines ring at once?

...that my cat ignores me when I'm home, but the minute I try to leave for work, she does the "Meow! Please don't leave me because I'm so damn cute" dance?

...that when I go to look for something, it's always on the bottom of whatever pile I was searching?

...that no matter how careful I try to be, I always cut myself on the metal strip on the box of cling wrap?

...that I go and cut four inches off my hair and nobody notices? I mean, come on, it's four inches! My hair was halfway down my back! You never noticed?

Why?

-- Anonymous, June 16, 2000

Answers

because the world hates you.
no! i'm kidding! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
honestly, though, i think it's because those times when things work out exactly wrong are really quite rare. they happen a lot, but not as much as good things so they're more noticable. it's like "good thing good thing good thing good thing bad thing good thing WHOA!! what was that?!?! a bad thing?!?! holy tomato!"
but i could be wrong and things really do always work out just wrong. i prefer to be optomistic and believe that it's only perception that makes it seem that things always happen at exactly the wrong moment.


-- Anonymous, June 16, 2000

1) Well most people have lunch at the same time, and for some reason they make phone calls during their lunch break.

2) Collective unconscious. See 1).

3) Because it's a CAT. Sheeeesh. They INVENTED mind games!

4) Because once you find it, you stop looking. Oops, not quite the right question.

5) For the same reason my boyfriend always burns himself tasting spaghetti sauce....

6) It's all relative. 4 inches isn't THAT much when it is already halfway down the back... whereas shoulder length-4 inches is a lot more dramatic.

-- Anonymous, June 16, 2000

Why do I always find something in the last place I looked for it?

teeheehee.

-- Anonymous, June 17, 2000

"...that when I go to look for something, it's always on the bottom of whatever pile I was searching? "

- except of course, the times when you start from the bottom thinking that very thing will happen, and it's near the top.

-- Anonymous, June 19, 2000

I have what I think is the only possible explanation for that:

::ahem::

Murphy's Law

(It rules MY life, anyway.)

Thank you.

-- Anonymous, June 20, 2000

Why is it that no matter how small the purse I carry, I still can't find anything in it? The excuse of a "purse monster" is beginning to wear a bit thin.

And why do men always seem to think that a woman carries purse for the express purpose of holding all of their junk? Switching to a smaller purse helps, but doesn't seem to solve the problem entirely.

Jumana

-- Anonymous, June 21, 2000

What about the "dryer gremlin"?? Where do all those lost socks go? Or the "Underpants Gnomes"? (I'm sure Heather is singing a funny tune right now)

-- Anonymous, June 21, 2000

I have the socks that disappear in the dryer. Through some freak of nature, I have accumulated 4 pairs of black socks, a two pairs of sweat pants, and three t-shirts. All of these came to me via my laundry. No one I know will claim these. I swear they were not in the washer or dryer when I started my load.

-- Anonymous, June 21, 2000

I can explain the Underwear Gnomes. After washing some clothes and drying them and folding them, I decided the next day to wear a shirt I had just washed. Got to work and around noon time, someone pointed out the I had a pair of underwear stuck to the back of my shirt. The Underwear Gnomes don't steal our underoos, they put them on other pieces of clothing to embarrass us at a later date.

And about the purse thing, why is it that men are afraid to hold our purses for more than 1 split nanosecond in fear of being labeled as gay? It's not like I put a skirt on him and sent him to work, I merely asked him to hold my purse so I could tie my shoe. The freak!

As for your hair thingie...I used to get pissed off at my boss for never noticing when I got my hair colored when everyone else in the office did. So I confronted him, turns out, he's color blind. ha! But as for a cut, unless your man had sisters, he will never notice your hair.

-- Anonymous, June 21, 2000

*sigh*

Ok, I know I'm being picky and annoying, but of COURSE it's "always in the last place you look". You don't keep looking after you find it, right? The phrase SHOULD be "It's always in the last possible place there IS to look.".

Ok, I'll stop. Sorry.

~SG~>

-- Anonymous, June 26, 2000

What I said was "why is it always at the bottom of the pile?"

It seems to me that whaenever I look for a paper or an article of clothing, it's always the last one in the pile. Never in the middle. The bottom. If it were in the middle, I'd stop looking.

-- Anonymous, June 26, 2000