After a secret meeting last night between League President, Soft Southerner, and Media Magnate Jonno, we can exclusively reveal that the Corinthian League will be altering beyond recognition at the end of next season. The new design to the league will be thrashed out over the next few weeks and both men are confident that the changes will add greater realism and excitement than ever before (i.e. it will add any at all) and is guaranteed to cause renewed outbreaks of arguments between league managers.

The timing of this report is unusual, and may unsettle the teams in tonight's Corinthian League Cup Final and tomorrow's Playoff Final, however, Softie and Jonno were seen laughing and joking outside the League Headquarters in Willington Quay whilst puffing on large cigars before making off in a limo with the Chairman's 'niece and some of her friends'.

The slightly modified team-pick tables and scoring system for the forthcoming season will be published this week.

-- Anonymous, June 13, 2000

Answers

So how do I go about joining Softie?

-- Anonymous, June 13, 2000

Full instructions will be posted later this week with some sort of cryptic title like: 'Sign up here for new season of Corinthian League'. Best keep an eye out for that :-)

-- Anonymous, June 13, 2000

Oh dear I will never remember to look for something so outlandish and away from the point of the message as that but I will try!

>:o)

-- Anonymous, June 13, 2000

We try to make it hard to find to stop Pit Bill from joining. So long as we open another thread for "Veterans' Association Club", that should keep him out of the way trying to steal unattended glasses, packets of crisps with some bits in the bottom and dogends from the ashtray for his backy tin. As soon as we smell wet wool and urine, we'll close the thread again :-)

-- Anonymous, June 13, 2000

Is all that to store in his luxury abode aka as a wheele bin?

-- Anonymous, June 13, 2000