Should Eric have mentioned it to the guy? Or should he have played just as hard as he normally would? Is this sort of situation considered taboo to discuss?

-- Anonymous, June 08, 2000

Answers

Ask anyone who is physically challenged, and you will get this response: "Patronize me, and I will beat the shit out of you with my prosthetic limb."

I was a wrestler from the age of 7 to about 14. I was good, and managed to win 4 state championships in that amount of time. The toughest competitors (not always the best wrestlers, but best competitors) were the guys I knew from the School for the Blind and Deaf. The best wrestler I ever ran into there had a car battery blow up in his face and he was completely blinded, lost his left arm from the elbow down, and lost his right foot. That son-of-a-bitch won 3 state championships himself, and was determined to prove his worth every time he stepped on the mat.

For the handicapped, the drive to compete in any sport is rooted in the desire to show the world that they can step up and compete with the more fortunate. As you had stated, it is not a matter of winning, it is a matter of competing when you are playing ball. They view it the same way. If you are slacking on the court out of pity, you are taking away the competition part for them and essentially smacking them in the face and saying "You can't keep up with me... you suck!"

You did the right thing. You seem to be concerned about "taking advantage", but if they are expecting you to lighten up on them, then they are the ones "taking advantage" of their disability.

You both gave it your all out there on the court, and both of you gained respect for the other. You were impressed with his ability to play at the level that he did, and he was impressed that you didn't mind challenging him to do his best. Yup, you did the right thing.

-- Anonymous, June 08, 2000

Eric you did the right thing. In a way you played this guy like your dad played you. *If you want to win then beat me. don't expect me to let you win cuz your my son or handicapped*. you treated him as a fellow ball player and that's how he wanted and should have been treated out on a court. If you two play again, he'll play just a little harder cuz you challenge him. Then one day you never know he may just beat you. hehehe

-- Anonymous, June 08, 2000

just remembered. my 12 yr old son had similar situation when playing mixed basketball. I could see him hesitating when his opponent was a female. He's a gentle boy and didn't want to hurt them. I told him that while the girls are on the court their players. He should play on them like he would any other player. It worked a little, he's still a little careful around the girls but he's getting better. hehe Although one time he got a foul for reaching round one girl from behind lol I told him "Sam your suppose to steal the ball off her not hug her" hehe he blushed.

-- Anonymous, June 08, 2000

I found this a difficult question (and topic) to tackle, but I'm going to try:

I think Eric made the right call, in playing his normal game. That's all someone who is handicapped or in some other way, "physically defective". The last thing people like that want to be treated is differently. They're not looking for hand outs. Just respect.

Personally, I'm okay with discussing the situation, but I'm feeling that it's unnecessary to ask if I should change my game to make it more fair. Those people have worked hard to get where they are. Respect that fight in them. If you are curious about how it happened, go ahead and ask if you feel they will be comfortable with the question. If they exhibit anger, don't bring it up... it's obvious they have to work through the personal issues.

See, I have some hearing loss. I don't ask for special treatment. All I ask is that you not ridicule me by pointing it out or making a subtle (believe me, I and those people WILL notice) difference in how you treat me.

This isn't meant to be a guilt trip. I'm just saying that people shouldn't make a big deal out of the small physical or mental differences from one person to another.

Oh, Eric? If I ever meet you, I'm gonna do my best to school your ass. :o)

-- Anonymous, June 08, 2000

I think Eric did the right thing in this case. I do think that how hard you play depends on the situation tho. Most of the time I play full bore, but sometimes I will dog it a bit to keep it fun. It isn't fun for anybody involved if the game gets too onesided.

To tie in with what Joanne said, I do take it easy when I play 1-on-1 with my fiance. She was a 2 time all-star in college (and all-star MVP) at centre, same position I played. But since there is 8 inches in height difference between us, if I play all out she will get discouraged after a while and lose interest in playing. She's very competitive, but how much fun is a totally one-sided contest for either participant? In the past though, when I have gone a little too easy she gets quite irate. It is a delicate balance I must maintain :)

In Eric's case, the handicapped player would probably have been offended if he detected that Eric was slacking a bit. It's nice that Eric earned his respect but showing him some, despite his disability.

-- Anonymous, June 08, 2000

Well, I would have played the guy as hard as I could. And he would've whupped my sorry butt into the next time zone, because I'm a really crappy basketball player.

Eric did the right thing.

-- Anonymous, June 09, 2000

Of course Eric did the right thing. Would he of done anything any differently if the guy would of been short or slower. Disabled is just relative. I would be considered disabled going one on one with Michael Jordan. I have the use of all my arms and legs, but I'm only 6'2" and can't jump. So what's the big deal, the guy entered Erics playing field. He would try to take advantage of Erics weaknesses, why wouldn't he expect the same from Eric? Anything else would of been considered an insult. This is the nature of competition. Competition is always good. It drives you to improve. Do you think Eric would be half the ball player he is if his father hadn't pushed him using competition? This doesn't just include sports. Pamie, everytime you are on stage you are competing with other entertainers for laughs or adoration. You want to be as good as you can be, so you work hard to improve yourself to compete for the audiences time and attention. If people start to follow you around and spend money to see you do your thing and you get famous and get on tv and movies.....well you have competed against your peers and won. Do you feel bad being better than a guy that isn't funny?

-- Anonymous, June 09, 2000

I've thought about this very question a lot. My brother had his right leg amputated below the hip when he was 5 (He's adopted. It was a war injury. Long story.) He's now 14, and about to enter 8th grade. He has a tremendous love for sports. He's played little league baseball since he was 6, and also plays basketball on his school team. Luckily for him, he has a natural gift for athletics. He's strong and competitive. Watching him play shirts n' skins cracks me up. All of the other boys look like they trained on video games and potato chips while he is totally ripped. So, he's got the intimidation factor going for him too! However, I dread the day when the team sports he's involved in get serious. And they will: high school boys are dead serious about winning. He won't be able to keep up. Because he has so little of his own leg left, he isn't able to control his prosthetic very well. Despite his natural gifts and his determination, he is not able to run quickly and does not have good balance. Those are the facts. The facts make my heart ache, but there's no use in denying them. However, he might be able to adapt if he is given the chance. Humoring him will not give him the chance to adapt.

I have found that it is both taboo and not taboo to discuss his disability. While most people are comfortable making casual mention of it, they tend to avoid talking about the limitations he has. There seems to be complete denial amongst his teammates, and I know they sometimes take it easy on him (it seems almost automatic.) While I appreciate the concern they display, I am afraid that it's setting him up for a huge disappointment when they are no longer willing to make exceptions for him.

I think Eric was absolutely correct in playing to win. That's what games are about. Doing anything less than his best would have unwittingly placed his opponent with a disability in a false situation. His opponent probably would rather have a realistic idea of his abilities in relation to his competitors. If he's serious about the game he NEEDS to have real information to work with so he can adapt.

On a positive note: Thanks to the "cool" Tiger Woods, my brother is taking up golf. He likes it, and is able to play to his strengths.

-- Anonymous, June 09, 2000

I say Eric's a big jerk. Next, he'll have a singing contest with a deaf guy. Why not play "Where's Waldo" with Ray Charles?

-- Anonymous, June 09, 2000

You did the right thing, Eric, and you're totally my hero now. (Totally, totally, it's so 1984 in my head right now!)

-- Anonymous, June 09, 2000

I answered you privately, but I'll throw my thoughts in here too.

As a disabled young female, who played wheelchair basketball for many years... Eric ABSOLUTELY did the right thing. If Eric played less- than-his best against prosthetic leg-guy, leg-guy would take advantage of Eric. I've been in many situations where people extended me an unfair courtesy because of my disability... For example, I was parallel parking my car, and I tapped the woamn in front of me... She came out screaming and irate (there was no damage) when she saw me get out of the car, she immediately apologized to me (even though I hit her car) That kind of treatment just makes me feel more contempt for a person, and most others who are disabled feel the same way.

When you do your best against leg-guy, leg-guy has more respect for you, and will learn to be a better player because of the effort you exert, and in return the effort he has to exert. He is also playing to challenge himself.

-- Anonymous, June 09, 2000

Eric did the right thing. Eric shouldn't have a guilt trip over this.

If the guy wanted people to tone down their playing in order to accommodate his disability, he would have just played with other disabled players. The mere fact he wanted to play with able-bodied people says that HE doesn't necessarily consider himself handicapped and maybe in other situations, he whips everyone else's ass.

I work with a lot of handicapped people as a part of my job. One lesson I have learned is that people who have no disabilities underestimate the advantage that determination and will power can give a person.

He's probably practicing right now, waiting for the next match so he can kick your ass, Eric.

-- Anonymous, June 09, 2000

It is very satisfying to play on a team that beats your team, EP.

-- Anonymous, June 09, 2000

Oh my God. What Jeff wrote up there made me actually screech with laughter.

Yes, of course Eric did the right thing. The guy wouldn't be out there playing if he wasn't up for the challenge. My father, who is the nicest man in the world (and I am his only daughter), wouldn't let me win a one-on-one game against him if I was bleeding and I offered him money to stop the game.

If you're gonna play, baby, play to win.

-- Anonymous, June 09, 2000

Jeff opined this: "I say Eric's a big jerk. Next, he'll have a singing contest with a deaf guy."

Well, I am a severely hearing impaired person, and frankly, after what I could hear of Eric and Pamie's beatboxing, I would take them both on in a singing contest. :)

-- Anonymous, June 09, 2000

Eric taking it easy on that guy would be like a supermodel going on a date with me because she pitied my unattractiveness. It's like, who are you to 'do me a favor', and what's it worth to me anyway?

If the other guy didn't wanna play ball, he wouldn't have been out there. He's not going to get any better if people are always letting him win. Nuff said. =)

-- Anonymous, June 10, 2000

hee hee hee, so funny Kristen, i'm rolling! My money's on you too:)

-- Anonymous, June 12, 2000

Eric...YOU'RE WRONG MAN!

First of all I have it from a reliable source that you are still wearing eyeliner regularly.

Secondly, who is this Chrissy chick? I think I saw her on a recent episode of the Tonight Show beating the crap out of "minnie me". You go Chrissy.

Thirdly, I think you missed your real opportunity in the locker room before the game with Mr. Gimpy. When he wasn't looking you should've taken a little crazy-glue out of your gym bag and glued the hinges on that leg together. You missed an excellent opportunity. This just goes to show me that deep down you're not really committed to winning.

loser.

-- Anonymous, June 19, 2000