Match Number 29

21 September 1996, Leeds at Elland Road. Carlton Palmer got sent off and Shearer scored his traditional goal against the cloggies. Ginola picked up a yellow early on, presumably for diving, and was subbed on the half hour for Gillespie.

Points Srnicek 5 Beresford 2 Batty 2 Peacock 2 Howey 2 Lee 2 Beardsley 2 Clark 1 (sub) Shearer 4 (goal) Asprilla 2 Ginola 1 (booked) Gillespie 1 (sub) Watson 2

Results: Match 29

BBS Premier Corinthian League

Mac Mar	1-0	Ath B'worth
HTIN?	5-3	Bar Samba
Brwry Drp Utd	0-1	Brdo Utd
Min Acad	1-4	Bor C'bch
T Goons	0-1	Pil Con
Toon Trag	0-2	Steph Sup
W'end OB	5-4	TFKASS
W'stck Co	1-0	ITKHWB

BBS Notionless League Division 1

How Har	0-2	Bax Bas
Dunc's D's	0-2	Bla Rac
Dud Boys	0-0	Ceptic
JHP	1-3	Che Chop
Spayne	5-4	PPP
G'gate	3-1	PLU
TSW	0-1	Q Mech
Y Yobs	3-0	Real Z

BBS Premier Corinthian League Table

Position	Team	Won	Drawn	Lost	G/F	G/A	G/Dif	Points
1	C Athletico Backworth	22	2	5	67	28	39	68
2	Brewery Droopers United	18	2	9	58	36	22	56
3	Steph's Superstars	18	2	9	59	39	20	56
4	MinesaS&N Academicals	17	3	9	65	38	27	54
5	MacBeth's Marauders	16	2	11	50	49	1	50
6	Toon Tragedy	16	1	12	51	38	13	49
7	Beardo United	16	0	13	53	45	8	48
8	Pilgrim's Converts	14	5	10	61	48	13	47
9	Wallsend Old Boys	13	4	12	45	45	0	43
10	Toon Goons	13	1	15	42	50	-8	40
11	Woodstock County	12	1	16	40	56	-16	37
12	Borussia Canwehaveourballbach	10	3	16	39	51	-12	33
13	Barton's Samba	10	1	18	42	49	-7	31
14	R How Toon is Now?	9	0	20	28	73	-45	27
15	R The ITK Heaton World Beaters	7	2	20	56	51	5	23
16	R TFKASS	5	3	21	30	63	-33	18

Oh cruel Fate, Scratchy, ITK and Dan have all been relegated to the Notionless League next season!

BBS Notionless League Division 1 Table

Position	Team	Won	Drawn	Lost	G/F	G/A	G/Dif	Points
1	C Proper Lard Unathletic	22	2	5	75	37	38	68
2	P Duncan's Disorderlies	18	1	10	51	34	17	55
3	Yelli's Yobs	17	0	12	70	51	19	51
4	Howdon Harriers	16	3	10	52	35	17	51
5	Jessie's High Pants	17	0	12	57	49	8	51
6	Quantum Mechanicals	15	4	10	58	44	14	49
7	The Stellar Warriors	16	1	12	57	50	7	49
8	Real Zaragossy	14	2	13	62	57	5	44
9	Chevy's Choppers	12	3	14	53	52	1	39
10	Spayne	13	0	16	47	54	-7	39
11	Pete's Porkie Pies	13	0	16	30	52	-22	39
12	Baxter Basics	12	2	15	46	55	-9	38
13	The Gallowgate	10	3	16	26	46	-20	33
14	Blaydon Racers	10	1	18	33	49	-16	31
15	Dudley Boys	8	2	19	29	57	-28	26
16	R Ceptic	5	4	20	23	47	-24	19

Don't look now, but Galaxy has slipped out of the playoff spots...I wouldn't fancy being a slug anywhere near her Aspidistras tomorrow!!!

Fixtures: Match 30

BBS Premier Corinthian League

Ath B'worth	Vs	Brwry Drp Utd
Bor C'bch	Vs	HTIN?
Brdo Utd	Vs	Mac Mar
Bar Samba	Vs	Min Acad
TFKASS	Vs	T Goons
ITKHWB	Vs	Toon Trag
Pil Con	Vs	W'end OB
Steph Sup	Vs	W'stck Co

BBS Notionless League Division 1

Bax Bas	Vs	Dud Boys
Che Chop	Vs	Dunc's D's
Ceptic	Vs	How Har
Bla Rac	Vs	JHP
Q Mech	Vs	Spayne
Real Z	Vs	G'gate
PPP	Vs	TSW
PLU	Vs	Y Yobs

Too close to call for playoff positions, but Howdon Harriers are finishing against the woeful Ceptic whilst Yelli's Yobs have to cope with the formiddable Proper Lard Unathletic...

-- Anonymous, June 06, 2000

Answers

Boo hoo....I want me mam....weep wail....boo hoo.

-- Anonymous, June 06, 2000

ITK,

To score 56 Goals and get relegated is appalling.

Under the old system you'd probably have been in the top half of the league!

Commiserations :o(

-- Anonymous, June 06, 2000

Alas, too late the randomiser smiles upon How Toon Is Now. In one game I score more than a fifth as many goals as in the previous 28 games combined...Can I keep the lads together over the summer? Surely the law of averages must work in favour next season...? Should I shelve plans to ask the board about stadium expansion? :"@(

-- Anonymous, June 06, 2000

At least I didn't finish bottom...........ANDY DID......hehe.....

-- Anonymous, June 06, 2000

No comment!!!

He he he!

(;o)

-- Anonymous, June 06, 2000

Grrrrrrrrrrr! Where`s my elephant gun?!!!! {.oP That`s me taking aim!!!!!!!!!

-- Anonymous, June 07, 2000

With the Racers stuffing already promoted Dunc's D's we could finish off the season by upsetting the Jessie's.

It looks like Howdon are in the play-offs as they have control of the "randomiser" ;-)))

-- Anonymous, June 07, 2000

5 friggin 4? You go all season (get the first ever 0 points) and then that? I'm still blaming Shearer.

-- Anonymous, June 07, 2000