what prompts people to keep their journals a secret? besides the obvious.

i mean not only passworded sites, but sites that have disclaimers like 'if you know me in real life, don't read this'.

it just seems strange to me. i don't understand how you can put your life on the web and still consider yourself a private person. most of my readers are people i know in real life, including my mother, my best friends, etc. my AP english comp. teacher from high school gives the kids in her class my url, even. and i never lie or conceal things.

what is your take on this? is your journal public domain, or a well-kept secret?

-- Anonymous, May 29, 2000

Answers

I personally don't see the point of disclaimers saying, "Don't read this." You might as well put up a big sign saying "Please read this! I'm begging you!"

I'm to the point where I really don't care if people I know (with the exception of my family) read my journal. After graduation, I'm never going to see most of these people again (I hope), so who gives a shit? That's why I didn't totally pull the plug on this thing after The Letter. I just don't want to know that they're reading it. I mean, read if you want to, but you'd better be able to handle what you read (like, the depressive bullshit) and I'd prefer you not say a word to me about it.

I guess my journal is a cross between public domain and a well-kept secret. You can find the thing so easily -- just go to any search engine and do a search for my name. However, most people don't pay enough attention to me to bother doing that. :)

-- Anonymous, May 29, 2000

I agree with Katie, putting up a note on your index or whatever saying 'ooh, don't read me, it's soooooo personal' is just an invitation for trouble.

I deliberately don't tell my friends my URL, mainly because they haven't asked. And I know it sounds like trite, but I do write about things that I don't want them to read. And some of the stuff in my journal is REALLY personal (like being madly in love with some guy that they'd laugh at me about - yes, I'm hopelessly self conscious of course) that I just don't want them reading. When I know that they're not reading, it makes me feel more free to write about stuff that seems important to me. You don't know my friends, OR the girls at my school. They're all rich pretentious back-stabbing shits who are absolutely bitches to me no matter what, and I think my journal would just be cause for more ridicule. I know I don't really care about what they think, but I just don't want to show them...I'm weird like that. I've got no problem with sharing it with my Internet friends/readers, however twisted that sounds.

But anyway. That's just my perspective I guess.

Em http://psycho-jello.com/demented

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

It depends on how well balanced your friends are. And of course how self-conscious you are, as - Em, is it? Sorry, I don't have the post in front of me now - said.

My journal used to be public to all my friends, and because I was so open they took offence (for example, I went to a friend's party, didn't enjoy it, and said so in my journal. The friend read it and got insulted). Plus that's not all they did. They got my teachers involved too and basically I was told to close down the site (well - it was a choice of closing it down or running it on the terms they laid down for me. Like hell I would).

So now my journal is at a URL that's secret from my offline friends, and I use an alias. And I'm happier doing it that way, because now I feel like I can REALLY write whatever I want, and never have to feel self- conscious or think, "Oh God, X knows what I really think of her now!"

But like I said, it depends on what kind of people your friends are and what kind of person you are. Something like that, which bothers me a lot, might not bother others at all. It's a personal thing.

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

I don't go out of my way telling everyone about my site by far. Actually, none of my friends know. I do have a disclaimer on my site. But rather than telling people I know in real life to not read it, I just let them know to respect my privacy and my opinions and not tell everyone they know about it. There are so many things that I write in my journal that I'm very unlikely to tell my friends, mainly because I don't think they would understand.

So I guess what I'm saying is that I don't would never password-proof my journal because my journal online is suppose to be something that I don't have to hide my real opinions on.

-- Anonymous, May 30, 2000

I'm just selective with who can see my journal. I'd show it to most of my close friends, but with other people (especially my family) it would just make me feel uncomfortable if I knew they were reading it. Right now only one of my friends knows about it. (Occasionally she'll mention it to somebody else, and I'll have to glare at her until she says she forgot the URL.) Actually, one distant family member does read it sometimes (he found me through ICQ, I think) so I have to practice a little self- censorship, just to be safe.

-- Anonymous, June 01, 2000

I don't go around handing out my url and I probably wouldn't give it to anyone that asked (except my boyfriend), but the way I see it, is if someone does find it.. I'm not going to start censoring or anything. You can't take anything like that too seriously if you have your journal on the internet.. I mean, obviously.

-- Anonymous, June 13, 2000