My 17 year old daughter left home 2 months ago to live with her 18 year old boyfriend and his parents. she was very close to her family and a very good student. She has cut off all contact with family and friends and quit all exracuricular activities. He has a history of abuse, drugs and theft and so does the father. We are looking for answers on how to proceed. Should we just keep telling her we love her and are there for her or should we have her kidnapped and sent away! Are the other strategies we could use? What has worked and what hasn't?We are very frightened and in need of advise! Thank-you Robin Grace

-- Anonymous, May 19, 2000

Answers

I am a counselor working with victims of abuse. Usually, the individual is looking for a place or someone that will give her love. I would suggest being as supportive and loving as possible. Eventually she will return, it seems she is very scared.

-- Anonymous, June 15, 2000

Most times the victiom will actully become ineffect brian washed. The abuser will eat away at her selfastem and leve nothing for her to fight with. Keep tring to get incontact with her. Let her know that you love her no matter what and that your there for her. Keep an eye on the abuser don't let him think that he's won. Sometimes the victiom dosen't have the strenght to fight and the loved ones have to take over. Good luck and Gods Blessings

-- Anonymous, June 15, 2000

MY ADVISE TO THIS MOTHER IS TO PRAY,PRAY AND PRAY. THIS YOUNG 17 YEAR OLD IS IN NEED OF ATTENTION AND IS SEEKING FOR SOMEONE TO LOVE HER, SHE HAS A VOID IN HER LIFE THAT KNOW ONE CAN FELL BUT THE LOVE OF CHRIST I TOTALY UNDERSTAND THIS YOUNG LADY BECAUSE I MYSELF WAS IN A SIMILAR SITUATION AT THAT AGE, IM NOW A YOUNG MOTHER OF 2 TEENAGE CHILDREN, BUT TO THE PARENT LOVE HER BEACUSE THE BIBLE STAYS LOVE COVERS A MULTATUDE OF SINS, AND IT IS THE LOVE THAT YOU SHOW HER THAT IS GOING TO WIN HER BACK TO YOU, BUT IN THE OTHER HAND IF YOU SEE THAT SHE'S IS IN A LIFE TREATINING SITUATION THAN AS A PARENT THERES ACTIONS THAT YOU NEED TO TAKE, MY ADVISE TO YOU IS TO LET THE POLICE KNOW YOUR DOUGHTER SITUATION SO THAT IF ANYTHING SHULD HAPPEN THERE WILL BE A POLICE REPORT ON FILE. MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU AND YOUR DOUGHTER.

-- Anonymous, April 15, 2002

Physically and by force if needed, extract her from this situation and keep her confined to your house. She is likely doing drugs also and will need time to de-tox. You need not let her leave your house. If she has a father, he should not be sitting by letting an 18 year old boy dictate his daughters life. If need be, contact local law enforcement for help.

-- Anonymous, April 21, 2002