Are you another hearth and home gal, or did you get something more exciting?

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

Answers

Emode's got the lowdown. Read below for your detailed test results. A brilliant bolt of lightening descends! SHAZAAM! The oracle has spoken!

The smoke clears to reveal that inside you is a divine being, and she is PERSEPHONE, Goddess of the Night.

Yeah Baybee.

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

Wow I rock!

PERSEPHONE, Goddess of the Night, a woman in touch with her deepest inner desires. As the most sexual of all the female deities, you are very comfortable in the bedroom. Your skill at pleasing a man is unmatched, and you know exactly what you need for your own pleasure. As a woman of passion, you're very comfortable with expressing your desires to anyone. You are a proud and confident woman who exudes sensuality. You cherish the intimacy of physical attraction, and know what it takes to win a man. As a woman deeply in touch with her sexuality, you definitely know how to thoroughly enjoy yourself! Your polished bedroom performance always keeps them coming back for more. When everything is going right, a light shines down from the heavens. Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a goddess!

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

HERA, the Goddess of Devotion.

She's a deity who wants total worship from her partner, and will go to great lengths to achieve the admiration she desires.

You probably place a lot of value on monogamy and exclusivity, and you give yourself completely to your man. With so much devotion, you guarantee his satisfaction in all facets of your relationship. You feel most comfortable when there's an intimate connection between you and your partner. When you feel that security, you let go of your sexual inhibitions and set your divine powers loose. You are a profound and passionate lover who believes that great sex means more than just a union of your bodies. To feel truly free, your heart and mind must be a part of the experience. When that finally happens, it's like a light drops down from heaven. Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a goddess!

Lordy. Or, as my grandmother would say, Oy.

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

Heavens above -- you are an absolute goddess in bed! Your deep spirituality and unconventional style drive men crazy with desire. The Goddess Demeter is your inner deity, and she guides your every move.

Heh, which means I'm Sarah and Renee's mama.

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

Another Hestia. "Your feminine charms and deep sensuality drive men crazy with desire."

Yeah, right. Hestia is the Greek version of the Roman Vesta. Her priestesses were the Vestal Virgins.

That would explain why I haven't gotten any in three years. (At least Beth's doing better.)

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

Persephone is my inner deity, too, apparently. No word on if my husband agrees with this, mind you.

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

Mine said Hestia at first, but when I went to read the detailed analysis, it said Venus.

"She's a Hestian housewife by day, but by night (after you enter your password,) this saucy vixen drops her robes and becomes Venus, Goddess of LOVE! (As portrayed by Vanna White!)"

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

Wow! If only I had someone to appreciate my-goddessness!

the Goddess ATHENA.

You're a powerful woman who knows what she wants and just how to get it. Of all the deities, you come closest to the modern woman. Strong and sensual, you're someone who doesn't shy away from a challenge. In fact, it's probably the challenge that excites you. You have no tolerance for traditional gender roles, so seduction is your specialty. You probably have no problem being the aggressor, nor do you mind being in control of a relationship. In bed, you might even take the lead, and make sure that nothing's over until you are thoroughly satisfied. Your self-confidence and security have allowed you to use your sexuality exactly the way that pleases you. Your lovers undoubtedly sense your inner divinity, and worship your ways. You demand and receive respect from whomever you decide to bed. And like a light from the heavens, they discover your true inner nature. Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a goddess!

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

Mine said Anthena first, and then Hestia. Either way, I'm a raunchy article!

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

Add another Persephone, Goddess of the Night, to the list. Heh. And here I am *married* at 23. That lucky boy of mine;)!

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

I am Persephone as well... at least in theory. :)

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

"Heavens above -- you are an absolute goddess in bed! Your deeply sensual nature and sexual confidence drive men crazy with desire. Persephone, goddess of the night, is your inner deity and she guides your every move. "

Not bad for a long-time married mom of three. Good thing they're all sound sleepers... Kinda takes the joy out of it knowing others have the same results. :-( But my hubby *so* agrees with it!

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

I am a Hestia as well. As pointless-but-fun as all of these quizzes are, this lost even the fun-factor by including Hestia, Athena, and presumably, though no one's mentioned her yet, Artemis, all of whom opted out of sex.

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

Diana, Goddess of chastity and high moral tone or something. It was the question on the belt buckle that threw me: lesbians tend to undo their own. And those princes on white horses? Galloping or trotting towards the elusive grail of orgasm while Sleeping Beauty snores on. But the quiz was great fun. Wasn't Diana the goddess who had Acteon torn apart by a pack of hounds for peeping at her voyeuristically as she took a bath?

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

Another Persephone, Goddess of the Night! Although I don't know if I'd describe myself exactly as they did! LOL

Angie

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

Another Hestia. I was also puzzled by the inclusion of virgin goddesses in the test.

There's also a sex god test. On that, I came out as Vulcan. Great. Just what I've always wanted to be: an ugly, lame cuckold. (He was married to Venus.)


-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

Another Diana. Who happens to be married to a Dionysus, who was *extremely* proud of his results. ;)

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

It was Diana goddess of chastity at first, appropriately (if you want to have grandchildren, do not call your child Diana and let her read classical mythology), but then when I logged on, it decided to take my inner-dominatrix answers seriously and changed to Athena.

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

DEMETER, Goddess of the Fruitful Earth.

She is a deity who embraces all that man has to offer. Sex for you is probably just as spiritual an experience as it is physical. You are probably an unconventional lover, who doesn't feel the need to obey traditional gender roles or follow the norms set by society. You are open to experimentation, and never rush your sexual encounters. It's probably important for you to experience sex in a deep and profound way. When in the bedroom, you not only surrender your body to the experience, but you allow your mind and your spirit to join the action. Men find you to be a phenomenal lover, and never fail to be completely elated and fulfilled when the night is over. Sex for you is much more than the sum of its parts. It's an experience that provides you and your partner with an unforgettable moment. For the men who grace your bed, it's like a light streaming down from the heavens. Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a goddess!

Well, yes. But how did they know?

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

Venus.

I don't know about that business with the "naive exterior," though. And I'm not much of a flirt, either.

But hey, I'm not complaining...

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

Another Persephone here, which is cool; I've always been fond of Persephone and her story. I also would say this is an accurate description of my sexual nature . . .

Too bad I haven't been exercising my sex-goddessness lately. Sigh.

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

Persephone, goddess of the night, is your inner deity and she guides your every move. Membership is fast and free.

Heh.

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

Ha! I got Venus.

"Heavens above -- you are an absolute goddess in bed! Your abundant sensuality and seductive style drive men crazy with desire. The Goddess Venus is your inner deity, and she guides your every move."

Possibly only those of you who have had babies can understand how funny this is. (Sex? What's sex?)

Perhaps this says something about my style a while ago...say, back when I was dating...wait, did I ever date?

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

hmmm... weird... I took it once and got Athena and then I went to get my detailed results and it crashed. I went through again and put the same answers and got Demeter... Hmmmm *trying again*

ok...I guess I'm Demeter...

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

I got Hestia, which is interesting because in real life, Hestia has been kind of my patron goddess for a while. But I don't associate her with sex...

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

A brilliant bolt of lightening descends! SHAZAAM! The oracle has spoken!

The smoke clears to reveal that inside you is a divine being, and she is:

VENUS, the Goddess of Love and Beauty

Let's just say that you are a deity with quite a fan club. Popular and pretty, your abundant sensuality fills men with desire. You probably take pride in your appearance, and have a very feminine way about you. You have a talent for dealing with men because you've perfected the art of innocent flirting. But beneath that naove exterior lies a woman ready to hit the sheets and get busy. Once in the bedroom, your divine instincts take over. You are probably comfortable in sexual situations, and know how to make your lovers melt. You might even surprise men with your sexual confidence and skilled performance. Suddenly, like a light from the heavens, they discover your true inner nature. Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a goddess!

I'd say that's pretty accurate.

Why yes, I do have an absurdly large ego, why do you ask?

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

I think I'm gonna hurl.

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

Another Athena here...

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

ATHENA...

Hey does this mean I am a control freak?

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a goddess!

I'm another "PERSEPHONE, Goddess of the Night, a woman in touch with her deepest inner desires"!

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

I got Hera. I'm, uhh, "profound and passionate." Worship me, baby. *snicker*

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

Hark - the oracle speaks! A bolt of lightning falls from the sky! SHAZAAM! The smoke clears and reveals that the God within you is:

EROS, God of Love.

As a devotee of this long-neglected virtue, you are a committed romantic. You prefer to savor the joys of seduction before you step into the bedroom. This quality makes you incredibly attractive to women, who seem to melt in your presence. They sense your strong character and respect your ideals. They dream of stealing you away, and making dreamy love to you all day long. Not to say you wouldn't be happy to oblige, but you want to make sure that there's some love to carry the relationship along. By the time you are ready to show them your godly performance, you have got them hooked. You take sex seriously, and show your lucky woman a passion that has only existed in her wildest dreams. You are probably an emotionally expressive and sensitive person whose pleasure comes from pleasing others. Your chivalrous ways have probably earned you a following of fans, and a trail of satisfied mortals in your wake.

Wow. This test kicks ass!

I'm not quite sure where all these women who "dream of stealing you away, and making dreamy love to you all day long" are hiding, though.

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

Oh, Yeah, another Hestia. Are all their options Greek/Roman? Why do I feel so limited by that?

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

Another Hestia (pout). A virgin goddess...that explains _so_ much, in a depressing way.

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

I agree that you are all limited by being stuck in Greek/Roman mythology...I want to get into the Freya!--as it were.--Al of NOVA NOTES.

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

"Heavens above -- you are an absolute goddess in bed! Your natural sensuality, coupled with a strong moral resolve drive men crazy with desire. Diana, the goddess of chastity and virginity, is your inner deity, and she guides your every move."

Uh-huh. Personally I think that lesser-known female deity Abstinentia is more like the thing for me. And I'm definitely up for non-Graeco-Roman deities as well

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

Athena!

And yes, it does mean I'm a control freak. Not that this is a bad thing...

-- Anonymous, May 17, 2000

Behold! The Goddess Venus!

(I think I'm getting myself excited here...)

-- Anonymous, May 17, 2000

I got a Diana, which suited me fine. Then I took the test again for my own gender and I was pronounced Eros, thanks to my "Outstanding Bedroom Performance". I am the "Master of Romance, Every Woman's Dream Lover", even though no woman in the world has lived this particular dream since November 27 1998.

-- Anonymous, May 17, 2000

another athena... it's true about the challenge being part of the fun. i'm in a committed relationship now and i hate that it's sort of affected my level of passion. ugh.

-- Anonymous, May 17, 2000