Do you enjoy being a girl? Are you happy being a boy?

I remember people would ask if I ever wanted to be a boy. I really can't say that I ever have, but I can understand the appeal.

What are the perks of your sex?

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2000

Answers

I like being a woman. I always have, in spite of career and other choices that might lead people to believe otherwise.

Some perks:

I am allowed, no, *expected* to own many pairs of shoes. Yippee!

I can bond with others of my sex over issues like trying on bathing suits, monthly cramps, and other unpleasantnesses that make the other sex run screaming for the hills.

I don't have to be embarassed if I can't get the jar open. I almost always can, but failure to do so is not a threat to my womanhood.

Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, I can ask for directions without shame. ;)

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2000

I like that we have more fashion options for dressing up than just "suit, suit or suit." I like not having to wear ties, but I do like picking them out for my boy. I like that I can accessorize for parties in freaky ways that boys normally wouldn't -- glitter in my hair, blue eyeshadow, six-inch heels, etc. Being a girl offers more creative choices, I think.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2000

I don't really remember ever wanting to be a boy. Boys were like my brothers. Ew. The only advantage was they didn't have to wear dresses to church. But I never ever ever ever wanted a penis.

The best part of being a girl, of course, is being able to paralyze men with a "come-hither" look.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2000

I like the shorter lines at public restrooms.

Not having to wear makeup to look professional (but shaving sucks; tradeoff for not having to shave my legs, I guess). Business clothes for men have pockets, lots of them, all roomy. I don't have to have this year's fashions for business dress; I don't even have to have this decade's fashions. If I could fit into it, I could wear a suit I bought 20 years ago to a job interview.

All of the medical research that counts is done primarily on men, so if the doctor says something will help fight heart disease, chances are it'll work for me. With women, it's a crap shoot.

I don't ever have to wonder whether or not it's my fault. It is.

Being able to pee standing up is cool. Record pain for not blocking a kick in class is not, although, again, that's kind of a tradeoff--it doesn't hurt if I get hit in the pecs.

Performance anxiety is a concern; there aren't any handy substitutes for being ready for the main event when I'm not.

As far as switching gender (at least for awhile), I'd probably enjoy it; I'd also probably be gay as hell. I can't think of a single guy I know who... you know.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2000

Like Leigh Anne said, I like being a girl because I have options. Short hair or long hair, skirts or pants, sneakers or platforms - I like having choices, especially when it comes to my appearance. Not that guys don't, but most of the boys I know couldn't go to work with hair down to their butts.

I always feel sorry for all the cute corporate boys I see while I'm out at lunch because they are all dressed exactly the same, with the same haircut and even the same cars sometimes. I can't imaging having a closet full of identical shirts and suits with only a tie to express your personality.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2000

I have always wished I had been born a man. It's not a gender confusiong thing, but I generally hate being a woman and think I'd have been better off with a penis.

But I don't feel strongly enough about it to get me one, you know?

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2000

ideally, there would be upwards of 32 sexes, each going head-to-head in league play, much like the NFL. . . enough of this measly two-sex malarchy! we all know men win anyway. jesus, people. . .

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2000

Beth, I don't know what you'd want a penis for. I've had one for 25= years and, trust me, it's a pest. You have to learn how to scrunch it up inside your underpants when you're out walking, you have to resist touching it, you have to figure out how to stop it going erect at inappropriate moments, all this and more That said, it's fun to play with in private, I'll have to say that much in favour of it. But trust me, unless you're born with one, it's not really worth seeking to have one added on.

-- Anonymous, May 12, 2000

I love being a woman. Reasons include:

1. make-up, which means I can conceal my (bane of my existence) crappy skin.

2. a flair for individual style when buying clothes. How dull to wear a suit every day, and try to inject personality through the choice of tie.

3. female intuition.

4. perfume, jewellery.

5. being fully expected to want it all, with nobody surprised that I want a career, marriage and children (see sub-list 4A - why it's great to be born in the late 20th century).

6. soft skin, not covered in body hair. That must itch in summer.

7. being able to cry at films without anybody thinking I'm a wuss.

-- Anonymous, May 12, 2000

Multiple.

'nuff said.

-- Anonymous, May 12, 2000

hmmm...the only reasons i've ever wanted to be a boy: -pee standing up, anywhere, anytime, without having to deal with dirty toilet seats or dribbling down your leg in the wilderness. once, in vietnam, i had to crouch down with 34 chickens clucking around me (i'm bird-phobic) under a bridge where the lady of the house disposed of her dirty pads, as a train full of people chugged by above. how i longed for a penis then. -boys can just throw on a suit with a different tie, and leave the house in less time. -boys have more pretty girls to look at then girls have pretty boys (and they more often than not end up being gay, and your best friend)

otherwise, i like being a girl, and having powers over 50% of the population. the other 50% generally hates me (well, in LA anyway)...we get free drinks and free in the door, dinnner paid for, and pretty much anything as long as you work it. of course, i don't do this most of the time, as i like to get things for myself, but knowing i have such privilege is pretty good. another thing that sucks about being a girl is that our clothes are more expensive, but we also have more options. being a girl is great. =) cuz we're just damn cute.

-- Anonymous, May 12, 2000

I wouldn't mind being a girl. Getting hit on would suck, but getting free drinks, knowing I always have the option of not sleeping alone, not having to worry about moving to a new town and not meeting ANYONE for a whole year, those are all good things. So is the fact that I am about twenty times less likely to go to jail and much less likely to be the victim of violence (although much more likley for that violence to come from a spouse or to have that violence take the form of rape. That sucks)

Knowing if I was hitching through Europe I would always get a ride is a plus. Knowing if I ran out of food and money I could sit on a corner and cry and SOMEONE would help is a plus. As a man if I sat on a corner and cried people would just walk on the other side of the street. I've seen it happen.

OF course, there's gotta be a downside. Probably the ability to get pregnant, not always being taken seriously intellectually and that sort of thing.

All in all, I'd much rather be a yellow lab.

-- Anonymous, May 12, 2000

Pee standing up kicks ass, being able to write a girls name in the snow hehe, but don't forget the "go shirtless if you want" option.

-- Anonymous, May 12, 2000

I like not having to be ashamed of "the Man Show." I like not needing an excuse for being a sixteen year old virgin. I don't mind having to wear a shirt everywhere, but peeing standing up would definitely make road trips easier. Speaking of which, I must just say, in response to David's saying:

> Knowing if I was hitching through Europe I would always get a ride is a plus.

Man, there is no fucking way I am hitchhiking alone, even in Europe where there are way fewer psychotic rapist-murderers. Eeek. I'd never even consider it.

One annoying thing about being a woman is the widely-held (although not totally conscious) attitude that there is something unique about the female condition, that we're somehow special. I've never seen the Oxygen Network (I don't think it's included in my cable plan), but remember those billboards and TV spots, a few months back, with their "great reason[s] to be a woman"? My friends and I joked that we'd love to see "less pay for equal work," "rape," or "bloating" as great reasons to be a woman. Man, it's overrated to be a girl.

And please, please, nobody bring up that "you can get laid whenever you want" thing. Sure, yeah, okay, maybe I could walk into a bar and shout "WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE FUCK ME BEFORE I DROP DEAD?" and get a few takers, maybe, but that does not count. Please.

-- Anonymous, May 13, 2000

Dave: for what it's worth, I'm way more likely to give money to a man on a street corner than to a woman, but that's because I've had two very scary encounters with psychotic homeless women who threatened to kill me. I just realized that that makes me a sexist. Or maybe not; there is more shelter space for homeless women than for homeless men, so maybe the ones that aren't in shelters are more likely to be violent or volatile or something.

Anyway, if you were starving on a street corner, I'd probably give you a dollar or two, but if you were a yellow lab, I might take you home and let you sleep in my bed. So yeah, that's definitely the way to go.

-- Anonymous, May 14, 2000

No periods. No tampons. No maxipads. No maternity clothes. No cramps. No morning sickness. No childbirth, no epidurals, no epiotomies , no Cesarian sections. No long lines in movie restrooms, usually.

The only drawbacks the male body has compared to the female are the occasional wet dream (embarassing to clean the sheets) and the occasional hard-on in embarassingly nonsexual situations. And, oh yeah, prostate cancer.

I love women, but I'm very satisfied with what I have, thanks.---Al of NOVA NOTES.

-- Anonymous, May 15, 2000

For some strange reason, I just can't get 'Don't get mad, get even' by Aerosmith out of my head right now. Might have something to do with that line about sleeping with the dogs and waking up with the fleas... Yeah, I know that's not very funny. Sorry, Beth, it's been that kind of a day.

Anyway, I think I would enjoy being a woman for a change, if only because then people wouldn't look at me like I'm an alien when I mention that I'd rather watch a nice romantic movie than a sports match at any given time.

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

I like being a woman - but I have often wished that I wasn't. I've also often wished that I was a woman but without viable reproductive organs. See Al's post above for reasons why.

Things I like: soft skin, no facial hair, a knack for manipulating people subtly (girls: don't flame me for giving away secrets and guys: yes, you're constantly being manipulated by the women around you. You either realised it in pre-school or you'll never realise it and you won't believe me anyway.) I like the kind of close friendships I can have with other women without embarassment or fear (i.e. my girl friends and I are very affectionate, hand-holders and cheek-kissers. Guys don't have relationships like that with each other. Plus, most people don't read anything sexual into it, but even if they did, it's still usually taken as innocent, which it is. Homosexual guys probably have it a lot harder than lesbian women.) I also like clothing and makeup and the usual trappings of womandom. I like feeling pretty, and occasionally even like getting whistled at (not that it's happened since high school, but whatever.) I like being girlish and "cute" on occasion. And though I'll probably get flamed for this, but I like the fact that the condescension I typically receive from older males also occasionally works to my benefit (getting my oven fixed for free, for example.)

Things I don't like: Mood swings, worrying about birth control, being sick and in guaranteed pain once a month, having to be a bitch in order to get anywhere with customer service people (people think if you speak softly and politely, you must be stupid. Believe me, it's been proven to me hundreds of times.), having cashiers take my money from me and give my change to my boyfriend (that is my biggest pet peeve of all time. Ever. Seriously, there is little else you could do that would piss me off half as much as that does. In one gesture the cashier has just proven to me that I am nonexistent without a man, that I couldn't possibly be earning my OWN money and must be spending his. And what's worse, is that it's a female cashier about 60% of the time), being called "sweetie" and "honey" by older men in business meetings (I just smile and pad my estimate by another $300 if they do it. If they're willing to pay it, then what the hell, and correcting them in the middle of the meeting would just be ridiculous). I don't like getting paid less than men doing the same job as me (and if I find out about it, I raise hell. It's only happened once, and if it ever happens again I will cause a bigger ruckus than I did the last time.) I hate having to be the "responsible" one at work and at home, instead of getting to fuck off and say snotty things to my boss like the other programmers. I hate feeling vulnerable, like my physical safety can be destroyed at any given time by anyone with a penis. (most penis-owners being a hell of a lot stronger than me.) That might be caused equally by my height as well as my gender, though. I also hate the fact that there is a need for feminism, that equality isn't implicit by merit of being human. I hold a lot of views that would be considered feminist, all of which I developed after beginning my career and seeing the gross difference between how my male coworkers are treated and how I'm treated. I hate the fact that having breasts means that I have to compensate for their effect on men by wearing unflattering clothing and acting unapproachable.

I dunno. I like being a woman, overall, but I can definitely think of more things I don't like about it than do.

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

as a child i wanted to be a boy because my brother was so cool and did crazy dangerous stuff, and my sister liked to play "school" and dress babies. she never lit a hot wheel car on fire with my dads deoderant. mom caught on to my extreme tom boy attitude and explained that i did not have to be a boy to do crazy (stupid) dangerous stuff and get real dirty. she told me i could do that stuff as a girl and it was ok, so end of my penis envy. so i can do anything i want, gender is not an excuse for inability. except for peeing while standing up, it's tricky. why do i like being a girl? close girl friends. friends who will never dick me over for a guy or betray me. no matter how far apart we are we will always be best friends.

-- Anonymous, May 18, 2000

I am a boy and happily so.

That said, I wouldn't mind 'weekend vacations' exploring the other gender from the inside. I'd prefer not to try it until it was completely safe and reversible. Doing permanent things to one's body is a step not to be taken lightly (therefore, I'm unpierced and undecorated, not that there's anything wrong with anyone else accessorizing themselves).

The biggest thing being a boy has going for it, for me, is that my SO is delightfully female and prefers men.

-- Anonymous, May 19, 2000