Please tell me your parent horror stories, so I'll feel better. Do yours still treat you like you're a 10-year-old?

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2000

Answers

Usually they treat me alright, but sometimes little things happen. Like my mom wil come into my room and say "time for YOU to get to bed" just like i'm 7 or something. It's cute though, in an odd sort of way. Most of the horror stories involve older relatives. Okay, i'll tell you a scary grandpa story. Subtlety is the LAST word you would use to describe my grandpa. He had to take me to school and with the WINDOWS DOWN as we drive by this kid, he shouts out "Is he ALLOWED to wear pants like that? They're so big! Look at those big, crazy pants!" And he just goes off about it. I just kinda shrunk down in my seat...

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2000

When I lived with my mom, she loved to do shit like that. She'd arrange meetings with my teachers, school counsellour, principal, me, her, AND she would drag my father along, if I was failing a class. And she would demand that the teachers do something about it. This was about math. Once, when I was going through a bought of depression and told my mom i was going to drop out of school, (which i almost did, but i don't think she knew that) she phoned the school and YELLED at my math teacher and my school counsellour. damn, mom. Way to blow things out of proportion. And involve completely unrelated individuals in my private life.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2000

Yes! It's my mother mostly. No matter how wonderous my hair looks, or whether I'm about to go to bed, or whatever, she still insists on brushing it for me every time she sees me. I'm eighteen!

As for the grades thing, a couple of years ago, I got an "upward arrow" in History. This is the second best grade, and good, and although I thought I deserved better, I didn't really care, because it didn't mean anything whatsoever. But no. My mother has to yell at my History teacher and never forgive him for it, and rant about it ever afterwards.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2000

Yes. Dear god, yes. And it's ridiculous.

See, I'm almost 23 years old, and I still live with my grandmother, who raised me. Due to a few mistakes I made as a teenager, I wasn't able to have my own bank account, so I had to sign my paychecks over to her and have her pay my bills. This also meant that I had to ask her for money (MY money) every time I wanted to go out or buy something.

It's really not fun to say, "Hey, Grandma, I'm going out drinking with my friends tonight. Probably gonna get tanked, won't be home until tomorrow. Can I have some money?" Like she's late with my allowance or something. It's also not fun to have to explain to her why I don't have any cash left when she just gave me $100 a week ago (I'm a huge book-fiend, and MAN, do books cost some money or what?). Luckily that's all finished, though, since I finally got my own account opened up about a month ago.

Grandma still treats me like a child in other ways, though. I just started a new job with regular hours (monday through friday 9-5, unlike my last job which was night-shift tech support for a national ISP, so I worked weird days and shit). I prefer to not come home until late, then stay up for a bit after Grandma goes to bed, so that I can have a bit of peace and quiet after a long day. She, however, feels compelled to call me every day and ask me when I'm planning on coming home, and making remarks like "Don't you think you should go to bed at a reasonable hour so you can be rested for work tomorrow?" and "I hope you're not out running the wheels off your car every night, frittering away your money". And every morning, even though she can hear my alarm clock go off and she can hear me get out of bed, she still knocks on my door and says "It's time to get up and take a shower! Better get a move on or you'll be late for work!"

When I go out with my friends, I usually get lots of questions in the morning about where we went, what we did, who was there, blah blah blah. It's really not that bad, but sometimes I just don't want to have to explain who everyone is, or where certain places are, and there are times when we've gone out and done things that I just don't feel like telling her about, because I know she'd react badly. I learned that lesson after telling her about the impromptu bungee-jumping trip last summer.

Gaaaaaaaaaa. I love my grandma, and I know she means well, but I'm trying to learn how to be an adult. That's really hard to do when you have someone telling you all the time how you should be doing things. I'm moving out in the next few months, though. Thank god.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2000

Oh Katie don't get me started. My dad is a very successful businessman. He sold all of his businesses a few years ago and has more cash in the bank than I will ever see in my life. He's proof that in America you need not have awareness of how the world works to succeed.

Here's just the latest example. He wants my sister to go on a cruise with him. That's the one thing he's spending his money on and has no friends to go with. He didn't understand why my sister couldn't just take a two week vacation on a week notice. Like most professional people, she's working on projects and has to meet deadlines and her company is depending on her. Dad doesn't even understand any of this. He owned five successful businesses and doesn't understand this.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2000

I'm 20 years old and my parents still treat me like I'm a ten year old. Everytime I leave the house my mom tells me "drive safely, don't speed, and buckle up". If I decide to hang out after work/school/etc. without informing my parents of my change of plans, they get upset with me. "It's a matter of respect, Kristin. Tell us where you're going." I thought it all would end once I turned 18, but it hasn't. A lot of the people I know don't have to deal with this kind of bullshit, but I'm the lucky one. Why can't my "luck" go focus on important things, such as the Illinois Lotto? Speaking of which, I had five of the six numbers... all on different tickets. Go figure.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2000

yes. all the time, actually. it's quite evil. i can't really do much of anything. i live in a police house. i swear. one day i was at school doing absolutly nothing cause i had no way to get home and i called my mom to come get me and she was absolutly freaking out and was calling people to see if they knew where i was. if i actually get to go to parties, i have to go late and come home 2 hours early, provided that mean's i'm home before 10 or some increadibly early hour. it's really quite sad, and now my mother's making me get a job but i can't have a car... sigh. parents basically suck.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2000

Oh, don't get me freaking started. My mother is absolutely AEVIL. My dad is a total arsehole, but I don't talk to him at all, so it's just my mother that makes my life hell. She's just very critical, and such a goddamn hypocrite. I'm not even going to get started on some of the bloody things she does, but let me just tell you Katie, you're not alone :) I just hope I don't turn out like my mother.

*shudder*

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2000

My parents are generally alright people, in fact sometimes I worry that they're actually TOO disinterested in my life ( don't worry, it passes quickly). I've never had them ask for a friend's number, when I'm coming home, etc. I don't know if they just trust me a lot, or if they just think I'm so goddamn devoid of a social life that there's nothing to worry about. Anyway, this should be negative, so I'm gonna talk about the one thing that's been bugging me lately. I didn't have a job for a really long time, and they were really nitpicky about things during that time. Telling me I should go to bed early, not be out late, make snide comments about me going out with friends when I should've been job hunting, etc. They would just criticize every little thing I did. However, now that I'm the proud new owner of a crappy, minimum wage job where they never schedule me, I can't do any wrong. Tell me, PLEASE, what is it about having a job that suddenly transforms my status from useless, idle peon to admirable, successful daughter?

-- Anonymous, May 12, 2000

I love my mom SOOOO much.

Now that I don't live with her. :)

Prior to last year is a totally diffrent story. I mean, I love her and all, after all, she is my mom, but I'm 24 years old (at the time, I suppose I was 23 and younger, but that's not really the point). I'm paying for my own college - I'm a junior now (yes, I started late - I've only been in three years, and I'm 24 - you do the math) and she hasn't paid for any of it. She covered one semester, but I paid her back for it. So, I obviously know how muchj money I have to come up with and when, right? Obvious toeveryone but my mother, I suppose. One Christmas Break, maybe my sophomore year, I knew I has the money in the bank and I didn't feel like finding another part-time seasonal job - I work at school, and even over breaks I get enough hours to keep myself fed and all - so I didn't. It was three weeks after Christmas by the time she let up about it. Sheesh.

Now that I *don't* live with her, my only problem is living up to her. My mom is like freaking Martha Stewart, only she does that without makeing a full-time career out of it. She's Martha Stewart on the side, while being a pre-school teacher. Toddlers even. Can you imagine 10 two-year-olds in the same room all day? This is my mom's life. Yikes.

But seriously, if I turned out like her that would be ok with me. I expect I probably will, she's exactly like her mother but not Catholic. I suppose I can be allowed one discrepancy. (Let it be the toddlers, please).

Whew. What a topic for Mother's Day. :)

Hey - I wonder, I've noticed that the majority of the complaints have been mother oriented. Wonder why. I for one, am my daddy's little girl, and to have trouble with him means I've REALLY screwed up. Heck - he invited my finace to play baseball on saturdays with him. (And they do - I think it's really cool.) Now, my finace's parents. Yuck. Another really long yucky sordid tale.

-- Anonymous, May 12, 2000

I have ANOTHER banquet story for you. I'm in forensics at my school, and we just had a banquet last Wednesday. Well, my parents have known forever about this guy I like who totally dissed me by liking some girl from some other high school. And this is a guy that most people in our school wouldn't look twice at. Anyway, my parents plop themselves down next to the guy at a all-students table at the banquet and proceed to eat there. With me and a whole bunch of senior guys! I swear I could have DIED! ANd now the guy rubs it in my face about this other chick. :o(

-- Anonymous, May 12, 2000

It is 11:00 on a Friday night. First, my dad wanted me to be home at 10:15, so I could get up early tomorrow and do my homework. I got home a few minutes ago, and he told me to go to bed. Um, NO! They're still going to be setting my bed time when I'm 30, I swear to god.

-- Anonymous, May 13, 2000

I have too many and too horrible parent horror stories to mention here but I want to stay that Katie said exactly what I wanted to say in her May 10 entry. My mom's also a hypocrite who meddle into other people's business and complains why other people meddle in other people's business. Haha. My dad treats me like a child. I have a driver's license but he still won't let me go drive by myself. Geeeez.

-- Anonymous, May 13, 2000

Just a quick moment to share. I am 19 years old, and I've been gone at college until this summer. After feeling all that relative independence, its hard not to wince when I hear my mother alltheway across the house, "Kristen, I had better see you in here on the count of three! One . . . . two . . . " And after a moment of frustration I find myself rushing to get down those stairs before she makes it to three. Even though I know she'll hesitate until I get there no matter how long I take. And what's really odd is that she does this to the dog, too. And he behaves the same way . . .

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

Point in case - I just (two seconds ago) made my mom leave from my work because, although she wouldn't admit it, she didn't want to leave me alone here, even though it's in a plaza, and obviously (seeing as I'm on the internet) there is all of about 0 business. We live about 10 minutes from here and I'm on for another hour and half, and her excuse was that she didn't want to have to go home and then have to come back to pick me up. (Yes, because I'm ten ... or not.) It's rather annoying, so I can definatly understand what you're saying.

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

So. I go to college, for an entire year, 2.5 hours away. I visit home sometimes, my parents came to visit me a couple of times. But basically, I'm independent.

I tell my roommate where I'm going, or leave a note, sometimes, but not always. I could hardly ever tell anyone where she was. It didn't matter.

Ahh, freedom.

And now, it's summer, and back home I go. Five minutes after I step inside the house, my mother is nagging me about cleaning my room. I get a curfew. I have to tell them where I'm going, and what I'll be doing every single minute of the time in which I am out of the house. Plus, I'm a free babysitter for my mother's daycare, if she wants to run errands or something.

It's as though I am 7 again, not 18-almost-19-and-have-been-away-and-independent-for-nearly-a-year....

3.5 months of this...I'm going to go wacky.

-- Anonymous, May 16, 2000

[Like everyone actually WANTS to know this, but, oh well. Heh.] When I was in the 6th grade [yes, I was young, but it was still horrifying despite my young age!], I got my period. Well, my mom took it upon herself to tell my teacher that I had and that if I ever needed to use the bathroom at ANY time, that if she could please let me. I'm sorry, but having your teacher know these slightly intimate details about you is just WRONG. Even in the 6th grade.

-- Anonymous, May 18, 2000

Do you think your parents are going to get any less protective? Ha!

When I was 23, I was at a bar with a friend of mine. It was summer and there was some festival thing going on in town, so we were out pretty late. My mom CALLED THE BAR to see if Joe and I were still there...when she found out we were, she demanded that we leave and walk to Joe's house, then call her when we got there. "You've probably both had enough to drink!" she said.

Oh. My. God. I was 23 years old.

-- Anonymous, May 19, 2000

Wow. I thought my parents were bad. If they did the stuff you guys are talking about, I'd tell them to fuck off and I'd move my ass out.

-dan

-- Anonymous, May 19, 2000

Just happened across your journal because I was checking out the diarist awards list.

It's interesting to read your perspective on things.

Wanted to tell you that I am 56 years old and sometimes I still feel like my father who is 80 treats me like I was 10 :-) It's a lifelong problem.

Also, wanted to say from the few entries I read I think your mom is a probably like you in a lot of ways. She had hopes and dreams of her own. She probably is a smart woman stuck in a small town filled with petty little people. It's not unlike being in highschool and not fitting in. Somehow she got stuck in that small town and instead of doing something to get out, which may not have been possible for her, she now cops an attitude about it and that keeps her sane to some degree. Too bad you hae to suffer the brunt of the anger which she cannot let go.

Take care and I think you will like ISU. I know some people who went there and it's a great school.

-- Anonymous, May 24, 2000

i wish my mom was more .. horrific. i could be like 'mom i'm gonna go have unprotected sex with some 40 year old guys from the internet, do you have a noose? they're into auto-erotic asphxyiation !"

and she'd be like 'go buy your own damn noose'.

we haven't lived together for awhile, though, and i miss having her around.

-- Anonymous, May 29, 2000

Hello everyone, I just wanted to jump in here with a comment or two. I have been following the various threads through the digital ink for the past couple of weeks, and, I must say, that as a 52 year old all of you make me feel good about your generation, how you approach things, and how I feel you will be able to cope with life. I wish that I had had the internet when I was your age. I find all of your thoughts to be thoughtful as well as insightful. Keep reaching for the stars!

-- Anonymous, June 11, 2000