I am in 8th grade. I am about to up to the big high school, and I am horrified. Do you guys have any advice for me? Seriously, I am terrified. Thanks.

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2000

Answers

Join groups. I made the move to private school when I started high school and I was one of the only public school kids, so i knew no one. The thing that saved me was joining a sport that started practices in August. That way I had some friends/acquaintences on the first day of school. Even if you're not much of an athlete, usually freshman sports take everyone and lots of people play.

If you aren't into the sports thing, join groups once school starts. It's a good way to find your niche. Since in high school you tend to get put in a box anyway (theater kid, band kid, sports kid, etc), it can't hurt to find something you like and people with similar interests.

You will be scared on the first day, but so will everyone. I remember walking down the long hall to my locker on the first day, shaking so hard I dropped my backpack. On my first day of college I thought I was going to throw up from nervousness. It passes :)

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2000

Drew, what are you most worried about? The social aspect of it? Academic stuff? My high school was not the normal kind, in that it was private and had only 200 people. But I would love to try to help you out, if you give us some more details.

-- Anonymous, May 09, 2000

ditto on what kaela said, yo: sports is where it's at. if athletics don't interest you, however, join any club/activity that you find appealing. also of great magnitude: make sure you have someone/a group to chill with during lunch for the first few weeks (even if you're pretty sure they're not the type of people you'd be likely to establish lasting friendships with) -- you're going to need that semi-sence of security each day. for me, middle school/junior high sucked. people generally liked to be exceptionally petty and superficial, i couldn't relate to anyone, and i hated it. initially, as a freshman, i was like god's gift to the dork kingdom. but then i got involved in tons of shit and met some awesome people who were my salvation. even tho i havn't seen most of them for almost five years, we still be tight like hell, yo. it's totally natural to be scared shitless about the impending transition. but as long as you're geniune and friendly to your peers, team mates, teachers, administration etc. -- high school will kick ass. ...oh shit, and i almost forgot: GET TIGHT WITH AN UPPERCLASSMAN WHO HAS A CAR!!!!!!!!! this solves endless transportation problems and saves you from the social disgrace associated with being one of the poor little retards constantly waiting around for thier parental driving services. you'll be fine, drew. don't forget to tell us how it works out in a few months, ok?

-- Anonymous, May 09, 2000

The more chances you give yourself to meet new people, the better off you'll be.

High school is all about exposing yourself to as many different kinds of people as possible. If you see a guy wearing a dress, talk to him! Chances are, he's interesting. If you see a girl with blue hair and an eyebrow ring, comment on her unique style! She probably won't be dull, either. The people who dare to be a little different are often the brightest and the most entertaining people you can meet.

It probably seems scary now, but high school doesn't have to be a hellish wasteland. It's really what you make it. I had a blast in high school, and I think it's because I went out of my way to meet everyone I could. I befriended people of different religious backgrounds and sexual orientations and political ideologies. Their lives and experiences opened a whole new world to me, and I can't even tell you what a better person I was for it.

There are so many stories out there, and the more you hear, the more well-rounded you'll be, and the more fun you'll have.

Join clubs / groups. Speak up in class. Be yourself. Have fun.

-- Anonymous, May 09, 2000

I am either getting senile already, or I'm revising history. I don't remember the junior high to high school transition being all that bad. If you're feeding into the same school as all your current friends, they'll be in the same boat as you. And for all the horror stories I heard about getting lost and upperclassmen being mean, that never happened. Of course, I was very anal and memorized the school map before classes ever started. But if you ask, people will tell you where you are. If you're nervous about other kids making fun of you, a good suggestion is to ask teachers for help/directions, etc. Just do it discreetly.

The four years of high school are a very interesting time, so go into it knowing that you're about to experience some pretty crazy stuff -- good and bad. Just don't take anything too seriously (easier said than done, I know).

-- Anonymous, May 09, 2000

It took me a couple of years to find my groove in high school. I was also at a completely new school and didn't know anyone at all, so that might make things a bit different for you.

I didn't really start feeling comfortable for some time, though. i went through several different phases (some of which still make me shudder) and I had several different "groups" of friends.

Once I started doing extra-curricular activities, however, I found a closer knit group of friends, and found things I was passionate about. That's how I ended up in theatre. I took dance, yearbook, even chess. I just kept meeting people and doing things outside of school with them, and things started clicking.

The important thing to remember is that it's going to feel like forever, but it isn't. It's over, eventually, and then your world just opens up and becomes even bigger than you ever imagined. It's going to feel like your whole world is high school and your bedroom for a while, but always remember that it's not forever, and even when you're miserable, it's only four years and then you get to be your own person with your own life.

I'd never go back to high school. Really. But I miss college.

Just make sure to have fun. And study. Really. Everyone always says "I wish I studied more." I'm more wishing that I had studied less and had more fun, but the ones I know that were just party-hounds always think that they screwed something up along the way. Try to find that balance of school life and your own.

Good luck. Let us know how you're doing. By the way, you may be the youngest Squishy reader, yet. That's cool.

-- Anonymous, May 09, 2000

Drew,

I entered a high school with a freshman class size of 630. I was coming from a private school eighth grade class of 3. Eeep.

I was terrified.

Luckily my high school offered a summer theatre program. I started there and made many friends, including many upperclassmen.

When school began I

1) Knew the general lay out of the high school

2) Knew a few teachers

3) Knew enough people to feel safe and secure.

When some guy started harrassing me by phone because he wanted to date me and I wasn't interested, my Senior friend Stacey gave him hell and scared him to death so he left me alone.

Now I knew theatre people who were already involved in different school organizations so I felt comfortable joining things they were involved with outside of theatre such as the radio station, ecology club, and choir.

It was fun to hook up with people who already could drive and had cars. It made it easy to get out and do things.

In my freshman girl gym class I made my way over to some of the more quiet kids and tried to be funny. It worked! I made some really fine friendships with some of the more shy people. They came out of their shells when they found that I wasn't going to be mean or aggressive. Some of the most interesting people are the quiet ones.

Finally, Drew, by the time I left high school I had friends of all ages, sizes, colors, and types: preppies, punks, burn-outs, hippies...

It was an interesting experience but I can tell you that I made life- long friends. If I made, it you will make it.

-- Anonymous, May 09, 2000

Thanks for all the advice. Keep it coming! I have to sitf thru it all later cuz I am at school. BTW, I feel specail! I'm the youngest!

-- Anonymous, May 09, 2000

It takes a good year or so to fit in and really get the hang of it. Of course, freshman year will have its ups and downs, but it is so not that permanent. People tend to really come into their own later years. So do kick ass in your classes (it will help. oh yes, it will help) and make friends as you can, do clubs that interest you, and DONT STRESS!!! Everyone feels silly and out of place freshman year. (I should be listening to myself. Im a freshman in college. It does get better, yes?)

-- Anonymous, May 09, 2000

You know, a lot of the posts about the junior high- high school transition sound so grave. "It'll take time. Just be patient and persevere"

Well, I don't know about you guys, but high school kicked ass compared to junior high. I did belong to the drama club, but that wasn't until a couple of months into my freshman year. All I remember from my first days as a freshman is a huge sense of relief that it was 100x better than I expected. Everyone was nice and helpful and the ones that weren't I could just ignore since I was in a fairly large school anyway.

Good luck Drew. I think you'll have a lot of fun.

-- Anonymous, May 09, 2000

I'm a senior in high school right now (24 days left!!!). I remember being really nervous on the first day of freshman year - I had heard all kinds of horror stories about the frosh getting stuffed in lockers or getting swirlies, but none of it was true. It really wasn't bad at all. High school isn't exactly something I'd want to repeat, but I have a lot of good memories, and I'm going to be really sad to leave all my friends. My biggest regret is that I didn't get more involved; I didn't do sports or band or theater or anything like that. So you should definitely find some kind of extracurricular activity that you like, and just go for it. And enjoy yourself - four years seems like a long time, but believe me, it flies by. Good luck! :)

-- Anonymous, May 09, 2000

Hey Drew, you know what? I loved the first day of high school. It was just the best ever. I had just gotten back from an exchange, during which I learned (this sounds cheesy, but I swear, it's true!) that everyone was just as nervous, as freaked out, etc as me.

I hated grades 7 and 8 -- but I knew high school would be different, and I couldn't wait. I went in on the first day knowing that there were suddenly tons of new people, most of whom felt just like me -- nervous as anything. I made up my mind to be myself and to be as nice to everyone as I could -- to treat everyone else how I hoped they would treat me. And it worked... I met two of the best friends I've had in my entire life, and we're still best friends.

I miss high school. I sometimes wish that I could go back. Have a blast.

This is so cheesy, please don't laugh! It's all true...!

-- Anonymous, May 09, 2000

Just wanted to let everyone know that I tie with Drew for youngest - I'm in eighth grade, too (and I've been reading Squishy since last year). Unfortunately, our school district is on a K-6, 7-9, 19-12 system, and therefore I'm stuck in junior high next year. That's a pretty cool situation, though, since the freshmen get to rule the school.

High school's going to be confusing. That place is HUGE. Of course, that's what I thought about junior high, too.

-- Anonymous, May 09, 2000

hey, Drew (and Steph!)

the most important thing to remember, I think, is that no matter how perfect the lives of some of your classmates may seem, everybody else in high school is going through the same things that you are - having the same crises, and the same insecurities, and the same problems. So if you find yourself looking at someone who seems to have it all, remember that they don't.

Also, a little kindness goes a long, long way. Gossip hurts. And have fun - be open to new experiences.

Oh, and if there are trips, like your French club going to Quebec, or something, go. There is always tonnes of alcohol on those trips, great parties, and the adult chaperones are pretty clueless. Ski club trips are pretty good for this as well. Anything that involves getting on a school rented bus and leaving the city limits overnight.

-- Anonymous, May 09, 2000

I'm only twenty three but I feel really old giving this advice: remember, no matter what happens, ten years from now, five years from now, it truly will not matter. I mean, as far as all that clique/popular kids and other silly high school stuff goes. Sure, there are things that will matter in the long run and have consequences, but even if something bad happens, remember it won't last forever and pretty soon, it'll all be a memory. It's hard to believe that when you're going through it, but it's the truth.

-- Anonymous, May 09, 2000

I don't remember much about ninth grade because we'd moved to another town when I was in 8th, and the reason we moved back was because my dad died. I went through a mourning period and don't remember anything going on around me for most of my freshman year.

I do remember some general high school hints though.

1) It's a good idea to get some teachers on your side. If you have some particular interests, talk to them. Not only are they far more interesting one on one than in class, but you learn to dialogue with educators which comes in handy in college and then on your first job. They get to know you as a human being rather than "that kid Drew" or "the kid who sits in the desk by the pencil sharpener" or "Student I.D. #4729". You'll get a kick start on papers you need to write rather than starting off in the dark without a clue. You get cut some slack when they know you are down with the concepts but haven't expressed yourself as well as you can, and they'll work with you. Also, if you're having a rough time personally--and everyone goes through personal bad day times--they will be more empathetic. It's good to have some of the adults you have to interact with every day on your side, and if you have trouble with another teacher, they can advocate for you.

I'm aware that that sounds like nerdy advice, but it helped me a lot. I tend to be quiet and soft-spoken, but I'd talk to my teachers and professors on a regular basis if they were in the least bit approachable and I got far more out of discussions with them outside of class than I did while IN class, and they respected my quietness in class rather than trying to forcibly drag me out of my 'shell' all the time, and eventually I did lead discussions when appropriate.

2) Fashion is a big deal with teens. But guess what? If you think something looks stupid, you can opt not to go along with it. I suggest trying out styles and looks as often as you want, because you're a teen and you're allowed to find what works for you individually...but if you think something that's considered cool looks dumb on you, just say no. I bowed to peer pressure one year, knowing in my gut that it wasn't right for me, and I got some Preppy crap to wear. It was what was 'cool' at the time (scary thought, I know) and some of my peers looked pretty good in those clothes. I looked stupid. Once I started wearing what I wanted to wear, I was far more comfortable, I looked better and I felt more at ease and I started to get compliments on my style (or lack thereof).

Going with the flow to fit in is normal, and no one will fault you for choosing to do that. But going with the flow also makes you a cardboard cutout of everyone else, and what if bald heads are in but you look funny (or think you would) with one? That's when you just say no. It's about picking and choosing what's "you" and using faddish and trendy things as interesting diversions only.

Style also includes what you like to listen to and watch and do in your spare time. If you hate rap or skateboarding, then you have a right to like what you like, and be yourself. It's far cooler. I still remember the guy who confessed he liked opera (don't gag, it's just an example). It made him unique, and unique is good. It's old and trite to say so, but be yourself.

3) This is the perfect time to discover what you like to do and what your strengths and weaknesses are. You have the freedom to explore and mold your own personality and preferences and to define your capabilities. If you love music, find things that everyone isn't listening to and see how you like that. If you like reading, dig into that. If you like sports, go for it and try doing new activities that are similar to ones you already like. It makes you well-rounded. Keeping a busy schedule also introduces you to new people and gives you something interesting to remember in the future.

4) Studying isn't fun, but if you do a little every night, you don't get slammed right before a big test or paper. Of course, I never followed this advice myself. I was lucky I read fast and could write fast, that saved my heinie more than once...but it didn't work ALL the time and I would have had better marks if I had been more disciplined. I did better when I rewarded myself along the way, or did the studying first and the more fun stuff later. I found out that music helped me concentrate, but some people find it distracting. You will learn what works for you.

5) Boredom is inevitable. It's partially 'cause we have a weird approach to education. It's like the analogy Leo Buscaglia once used called "the animal school". The animals all got together and decided that they needed to get together and form a school so everyone could learn from each other. So the rabbit elders taught running, the fish taught swimming, the squirrels taught tree-climbing, etc., and there was soon a problem...some animals just weren't getting the knack of swimming. The whole "I need air" thing, you know? So the fish teachers had to fail them. And some animals couldn't fly worth a damn and they got Fs in Flying Class and because they fell trying to fly and hit their heads, they suddenly weren't good at the things they were once good at, like burrowing or climbing. The valedictorian of animal school was a frog who kind of did everything in a half-assed fashion. We approach school in the same way. Everyone has to take a core curriculum and pass math and art and english and language classes and inevitably you're going to find that you're great at most things but there's one or two that just kick your butt and make you miserable. These are the classes you're most likely to be bored in, and boredom's a cue that information is no longer filtering in. If you find you're being bored, that's a red flag that you might find it useful to ask for some assistance or to get a concept explained in a different way. We all learn differently, and sometimes simply rephrasing something makes all the difference. I got side-smacked by math class when I was a freshman, it was like listening to Charlie Brown's teacher Mrs. Othmar talk for an hour: 'wah wah WAH, wonk wonk WONK wonk'. I was totally lost, and the teacher was dry and unhelpful and unstimulating in person. If I had gone to my advisor and asked to swap classes or for help, it would have saved me a lot of grief. I chose to ostrich myself and to hope that it would all click eventually. I'm not naturally gifted at mathematics, and so it didn't magically fix itself.

All of that to say, recognize when you're having a human moment and be willing to ask for help. You're allowed. It helps.

6) I second the 'make friends with upperclassmen' suggestions. It's definitely a good idea.

7) There's always going to be someone who will be difficult. The more often you take the high road (and it isn't easy!), the less satisfying a target you will be. Don't be fun to pick on if you can help it. Don't be the guy who picks on other people to get the heat off of yourself, either. You don't have to be best buddies with everyone, but you can be decent to everyone and expect and insist on being treated decently in return. Don't get into pissing matches with people who can bench-press farm equipment. Avoid anyone with a repuation for volatile behavior--you may think they'll make a good ally, but if they're volatile, you will get fallout eventually.

You're going to do great, I'm sure. I remember my sophomore-senior years and while I was definitely not popular (and didn't want to be), I had a circle of friends and actually kind of enjoyed school more often than not. I got to hang out with other kids, for one. Find something you can look forward to. Maybe you make mix-CDs and trade them, maybe you get to have lunch outside when it's nice, maybe you like art class or maybe there's someone attractive to look at who's sitting near you in math class. Finding things to look forward to makes the boring or annoying things far more bearable.

:) M

-- Anonymous, May 09, 2000

actually, I'm about to go to the 9th grade too, so I don't know how much of a help I can be, especially since in my school high school is from the 7th-12th grade... :D but, anyway. joining groups is really good, but far from what's said, make sure they're interesting. i'm sure lots of people go on with the "i wanna be popular" group, but you know, that's really wrong. most groups kinda blend eventually..

i am also wondering, don't you have friends that are going with you? because then, hang with them and blend alltogether.

-- Anonymous, May 10, 2000

I've been out of high school for a whole two years now, so maybe I'm not the wisest. But. My advice:

1. Don't take everything seriously. Like Kathy said, it won't matter ten years from now. Those who dislike you and make your life miserable - you'll be away from 'em in four years.

2. Groups. Yes, a good idea. Something you're interested in. You'll meet many cool people that way.

3. Invent your own style. Seriously, don't try to be anyone but *you*. If you fake it, you'll regret it later. The people I remember most fondly from h.s. were those who didn't do what everyone else did.

4. Study. Really. Even though it's the most boring, impossible-to-concentrate-on thing in the world. Good GPAs are something to be proud of. (Ooh, smarmy sounding, yes?)

So. There you go. If it doesn't make sense, it's 'cause I haven't had my caffeine yet. `:)

-- Anonymous, May 10, 2000

When I went into high school, I had only been in town for 2 years, and I still hadn't made too many friends. That was 8 years ago (shudder), but I can still remember how scared I was. It turned out that I was scared for nothing.

Just be yourself, Drew. People will like you more for it. Be an individual, and don't do things just because the rest of the school is doing them; do things because you want to do them. Join clubs, find things that interest you. About 2 weeks into school, you'll wonder what all of the fuss was about.

-- Anonymous, May 10, 2000

I remember being *terrified* my first day of High School. I had never really had friends before that to begin with, and had been the target of bullies for the past five or six years. Television and urban legend had taught me that high school meant kids like me getting beat up more often, getting stuffed in lockers, getting our lunch money stolen and all that other stuff. None of that ever happened to me. If anything, middle school was *way* worse than high school for that kind of thing.

High school still pretty much sucked for me. I wasn't connected with the kids I went to school with, they all thought I was a satanist because I listened to Iron Maiden (who are still, along with Rushthe best bands ever), I never attended a single high school party and until the very end of my senior year (like the last two weeks) I never even spoke with anyone from my school outside of class. Then again I always worked a lot and I was in a theater company, so that may have had something to do with it. I sort of developed this theory that kids were probably going to hate me no matter what, so there was no point in trying to please them, no point in trying to dress the right way or talk the right way or listen to the right music because I would *never* fit in no matter how hard I tried. So I just acted like myself. Kids hated me my Freshman year but grew to like and respect me (unbeknownst to me) over the next few years. They knew I had my own style and would refer to things as being "very Dave."

So don't be too scared, and like a few other folks said, don't forget that no matter how cool they may APPEAR, they are usually just as insecure as you may feel. I felt like a dork in high school and college because I didn't drink or get into drugs, but now most of my friends are ex-junkies and ex-cokeheads who really admire me for that. All the kids I was a bit jelous of in high school because they seemed to have the cool party lifestyle are really really unhappy now. Turns out, they were unhappy then too.

And of course, the best advice anyone can give is... don't stop reading Squishy.

-- Anonymous, May 10, 2000

Strange you should ask this right now. I am about to graduate from high school (they scooted the year up so we get out early - graduation in two weeks) and, as usual, it's a time when we all look back on everything. So, a few words of advice for you.
I don't know if your school will be as clique-oriented as some are. Mine sure as hell is. I can't really understand why all the kids with both lawyer parents and a new car every year choose only to be around others like them, but that's how they are. It doesn't mean you have to limit yourself to choosing friends of a particular group or style. Clique bad. Label bad. Viewing everyone as an individual good. Be open-minded, don't be quick to judge anybody you meet based on looks/clothes alone, and you'll find some really interesting people.
A word on classes: don't take anything optional if you aren't really interested in it. Some stuff you can't get around, because of graduation or curricular requirements. Some things suck, that's all there is to it. But if you aren't interested in art, then for all means, don't take the advanced AP portfolio classes "because it would look good." It's a quick way to get bogged down in things you soon learn to hate.
Teachers. Some are hard-asses, some let the kids walk all over them, some are weird, some have bizarre myths attatched to them. (There's an art teacher at my school who claims to have been visually raped by monkeys..) They are human beings, too. There usually is a valid reason for why they do what they do, and why they treat their students the way they do. Try to figure that out. It doesn't always work, but sometimes, with that understanding, the classes are easier because you know what's coming.
Going with that, you might find a few teachers you really like. Get to know them. They can pull strings for you.
And, something that sounds simple but isn't always easy to do - go with what you think is right. Don't let people think for you, don't let people push you into things you don't want to do. I've seen that happen, with disastrous results.
High school is good sometimes and hellish sometimes. Just like everything else. It's another experience in life, so learn from it all - the classes and the people you meet.

-- Anonymous, May 10, 2000

I just got to this question, but I do understand that I was terrified with the transition from 8th grade to 9th. a whole new school, new people...it was even worse since I thought I was going to this one school and they ended up changing the directional lines and I ended up going to the newer school in the other area.

after the first day, things were fine though. I found friends I had made in 8th grade in some of my classes which thrilled me and I found an old friend who was a sophmore that year and we ended up having gym together. I must say, both freshmen and sophmore year were my favorites. I had the most fun and memorable moments. I even made some friends at the other school since my best friend went there. we went to plays and I even went to one dance.

my advice is to make sure to make the best out of your high school years. I didn't go to enough dances and I lost most of the close friends I had by senior year. go with your instinct and don't let good things slip away. join clubs. I missed out on joining the spanish club because I chickened out on doing something new and out of the ordinary. I liked to go straight home and not have one thing change. it was my mistake. I can't go on school studies since I did do that and I got good grades..except in umm math.

anyway, I've only been out of school for a year so I'm sure I'll think of more things later on in life. I'm still getting over the whole ordeal.

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2000

Drew- Do I ever remember this whole nasty, clammy, icky feeling of being scared to go to high school. I'm a junior now, and really, erally happy to be able to post and tell you that whatever else it is, high school is way more fun than junior high ever was. So don't worry, just ook forward to it. Advice? 1. Join activities: Sounds dumb, but I've met tons of new people jsut by being "forced" to hang out with them all the time. Band, choir, drama, community service, Academic Bowl...whatever you like, look into it and I bet there's something for it. Or start a new club - that will keep you even busier. 2. Be nice to upperclassmen: They can help you on Freshmen Tag Day or whatever. Also, they usually have cars; this is a good thing for you and your parents if you constantly need to be driven. (I regularly drive 2 freshies myself.) 3. Develop your own style: I constantly drifted from clique to clique and fashion to fashion - then I wised up. I'm not preppie, I'm not goth, I'm nothing but Kate. Thrift-store t-shirts and jeans and occasionally fuschia hair. And I have no clique, I am tight with the band geeks and drama dorks and Scholastic Bowl nerds and the punk-rockers and the vegetarian kids - I am part of all these things, but have let none suck me in. I've even gone cross-district. Friends in other schools are happy things. You'll never be bored.

LEt us know how it all works out...

-- Anonymous, May 11, 2000

The advice people are giving is great, but I think the "Be Yourself" comment oversimplifies things a bit. High school is the time when you're figuring our who "yourself" is.

Don't worry about it if you're not sure who you are yet. Nobody really does. To be "yourself" you have to experiment and find out what you like, and what you don't like. Don't be afraid to try new things, but also don't be afraid to say "no" when you don't like something.

Join clubs (for sure); don't make too many assumptions about people based on music taste, dress, marks etc. Yes, there will be the jocks, the brains, the goths, etc. but if you talk to them all, you'll find everybody's pretty much going through the same stuff.

People are kind of existential in high school, and think they are THE ONLY ONE WHOSE EVER FELT THIS WAY, EVER. They're not. Don't be afraid to tell the cute girl sitting next to you on the first day that you were a little nervous on your way to school in the morning she was too...

Don't ever assume anybody is "out of your league." If you're nice, and friendly and don't push too hard, pretty much anybody will be nice and friendly back. If they aren't, they're not worth the effort (again, trite, grownup advice, but it's true--respect people and save your energy for people who respect you back).

Good luck. And please let us know how it's going.

-- Anonymous, May 12, 2000

Drew - Just relax and be yourself. That's all there is to it.

-- Anonymous, May 12, 2000