Match Number 13

8 May 1997, Man Utd away, 0-0. There are times when getting 0-0 at Old Trafford is a great achievement, however, this one felt like a cop-out. The scene had been set in the previous game against West Ham when we were still in with a mathematical chance of winning the league but went for 0-0 and got it. This should have been a six-pointer. Hard to bear. Never really been forgiven either.

Points Srnicek 3 (2 + 1 for clean sheet) Watson 2 Elliott 2 Batty 2 Peacock 2 Albert 1 (booked) Barton 2 Beresford 2 Shearer 2 Ferdinand 2 Asprilla 1 (sub) Gillespie 2

Results: Match 13

BBS Premier Corinthian League

Brdo Utd	1-0	Ath B'worth
Bor C'bch	1-3	Bar Samba
Mac Mar	2-1	Brwry Drp Utd
Min Acad	0-1	HTIN?
TFKASS	3-1	Pil Con
ITKHWB	0-1	Steph Sup
W'end OB	4-0	T Goons
W'stck Co	2-0	Toon Trag

BBS Notionless League Division 1

Ceptic	0-1	Bax Bas
Che Chop	1-2	Bla Rac
How Har	1-0	Dud Boys
JHP	1-2	Dunc's D's
Q Mech	1-2	PPP
Real Z	0-2	PLU
TSW	0-2	Spayne
Y Yobs	2-5	G'gate

BBS Premier Corinthian League Table

Position	Team	Won	Drawn	Lost	G/F	G/A	G/Dif	Points
1	Steph's Superstars	9	1	3	26	13	13	28
2	Athletico Backworth	9	1	3	31	20	11	28
3	Brewery Droopers United	9	1	3	27	16	11	28
4	MacBeth's Marauders	9	1	3	27	17	10	28
5	MinesaS&N Academicals	8	0	5	27	16	11	24
6	Toon Tragedy	7	0	6	22	15	7	21
7	Barton's Samba	7	0	6	18	16	2	21
8	Beardo United	7	0	6	24	23	1	21
9	Pilgrim's Converts	6	1	6	25	25	0	19
10	How Toon is Now?	6	0	7	14	26	-12	18
11	Wallsend Old Boys	5	2	6	17	19	-2	17
12	Borussia Canwehaveourballbach	5	0	8	17	22	-5	15
13	Woodstock County	4	0	9	21	30	-9	12
14	Toon Goons	4	0	9	15	27	-12	12
15	The ITK Heaton World Beaters	3	0	10	15	25	-10	9
16	TFKASS	2	1	10	14	30	-16	7

BBS Notionless League Division 1 Table

Position	Team	Won	Drawn	Lost	G/F	G/A	G/Dif	Points
1	Proper Lard Unathletic	11	1	1	34	10	24	34
2	Duncan's Disorderlies	10	0	3	29	10	19	30
3	Howdon Harriers	8	1	4	25	12	13	25
4	Quantum Mechanicals	8	1	4	22	13	9	25
5	Yelli's Yobs	7	0	6	30	27	3	21
6	Jessie's High Pants	7	0	6	26	24	2	21
7	The Stellar Warriors	6	1	6	21	21	0	19
8	Spayne	6	0	7	15	17	-2	18
9	Real Zaragossy	6	0	7	22	26	-4	18
10	Pete's Porkie Pies	6	0	7	13	20	-7	18
11	The Gallowgate	5	2	6	14	21	-7	17
12	Blaydon Racers	5	0	8	18	20	-2	15
13	Baxter Basics	4	1	8	19	32	-13	13
14	Dudley Boys	4	0	9	10	31	-21	12
15	Chevy's Choppers	3	2	8	21	28	-7	11
16	Ceptic	3	1	9	14	21	-7	10

Wow! A 4 way tie at the top of the Premier League, and a familiar name at the top of the heap. Tight as a duck's a*se this season.

Fixturess: Match 14

BBS Premier Corinthian League

Ath B'worth	Vs	Mac Mar
Bar Samba	Vs	HTIN?
Bor C'bch	Vs	Min Acad
Brdo Utd	Vs	Brwry Drp Utd
ITKHWB	Vs	W'stck Co
Pil Con	Vs	T Goons
Steph Sup	Vs	Toon Trag
TFKASS	Vs	W'end OB

BBS Notionless League Division 1

Bax Bas	Vs	How Har
Bla Rac	Vs	Dunc's D's
Ceptic	Vs	Dud Boys
Che Chop	Vs	JHP
PLU	Vs	G'gate
PPP	Vs	Spayne
Q Mech	Vs	TSW
Real Z	Vs	Y Yobs

So, the reward to The Gallowgate for a magnificent victory is an away fixture at Proper Lard Unathletic;-)

-- Anonymous, May 04, 2000

Answers

Who the hell chose my squad.......I'm getting fed up of being the Watford of this division next to Scratchy's Sheffield Wednesday.

Can I change my line up please Mr Chairman.......I'm fed up losing.

-- Anonymous, May 04, 2000

PLU who are they? My players were expecting a difficult game against Yelli's Yobs, but it just didn't happen. So they'll be up and raring to go for this one. I reckon that we'll win by at least 4 goals.

Now there's confidence for you!

-- Anonymous, May 04, 2000

Shagadellic Soccer(tm) is here to stay. I feel a push for the top half coming (ooerr missus! (ed.))

-- Anonymous, May 05, 2000

You go home, you adopt a stray cat, God shines on you and you win a Corinthian game.
Sheff Wed to your Watford eh Ken. We've got more empty seats than you.

-- Anonymous, May 05, 2000

Kegsy.

PLU are ready for you. After a training session which consisted of eating their weight in deep fried mars bars the players feel in top form. Or at least they did after they'd been for their kebabs. Starting to take this seriously, to the point where one or two have been spotted drinking diet dandelion and burdock. If I can catch them, there'll be trouble.

-- Anonymous, May 05, 2000