Match Number 8

2 May 1998, Chelsea at SJP, 3-1 to the Toon. A match in which Chelsea could have been accused of having one eye on the Cup Winners Cup Final that week. Robert Lee scored his last NUFC goal until we met Chelsea again at Wembley to be met by the noisiest and most ecstatic goal celebrations most of us have ever witnessed. This game was a bit different, with the Chelsea fans intent on amusing themselves since their team hadn't bothered to show up; sliding down the bannisters from top to bottom of the Leazes/East Stand corner is no mean feat.

Points Given 4 (2 + GD) Barton 2 Howey 2 Dabizas 7 (def goal) Pearce 1 (booked) Pistone 2 Watson 1 (sub) Batty 2 Lee 5 (mf goal) Speed 5 (mf goal) Andersson 2 Shearer 2 Hamilton 1 (sub) Barnes 1 (sub)

Results: Match 8

BBS Premier Corinthian League

W'stck Co	2-4	Ath B'worth
Pil Con	2-1	Bar Samba
Steph Sup	3-2	Brdo Utd
TFNASS	0-3	Bor C'bch
ITKHWB	4-6	Brwry Drp Utd
T Goons	3-0	HTIN?
Toon Trag	4-0	Mac Mar
W'end OB	0-3	Min Acad

BBS Notionless League Division 1

Y Yobs	4-1	Bax Bas
PPP	1-0	Bla Rac
PLU	3-0	Ceptic
Q Mech	2-1	Che Chop
Real Z	3-1	Dud Boys
Spayne	0-2	Dunc's D's
G'gate	0-0	How Har
TSW	1-2	JHP

Proper Lard Unathletic are still beavering away, but the chants of "Ciara, Boston Ciara, Boston Ciara on the Dole!" have finally been stilled at St Bobby Robson Park.

BBS Premier Corinthian League Table

Position	Team	Won	Drawn	Lost	G/F	G/A	G/Dif	Points
1	Brewery Droopers United	7	1	0	21	10	11	22
2	Athletico Backworth	6	1	1	22	14	8	19
3	MinesaS&N Academicals	6	0	2	21	5	16	18
4	MacBeth's Marauders	5	1	2	16	14	2	16
5	Toon Tragedy	5	0	3	18	7	11	15
6	Steph's Superstars	5	0	3	15	11	4	15
7	Borussia Canwehaveourballbach	5	0	3	12	8	4	15
8	Beardo United	4	0	4	14	15	-1	12
9	Barton's Samba	4	0	4	9	11	-2	12
10	Pilgrim's Converts	4	0	4	13	17	-4	12
11	Wallsend Old Boys	3	2	3	11	13	-2	11
12	How Toon is Now?	3	0	5	9	18	-9	9
13	The ITK Heaton World Beaters	2	0	6	11	20	-9	6
14	Woodstock County	1	0	7	11	19	-8	3
15	Toon Goons	1	0	7	11	21	-10	3
16	TFKASS	0	1	7	5	16	-11	1

BBS Notionless League Division 1 Table

Position	Team	Won	Drawn	Lost	G/F	G/A	G/Dif	Points
1	Proper Lard Unathletic	8	0	0	23	2	21	24
2	Duncan's Disorderlies	6	0	2	16	4	12	18
3	Quantum Mechanicals	6	0	2	14	7	7	18
4	Yelli's Yobs	5	0	3	22	14	8	15
5	Jessie's High Pants	5	0	3	15	14	1	15
6	The Stellar Warriors	4	1	3	12	13	-1	13
7	Real Zaragossy	4	0	4	17	18	-1	12
8	Pete's Porkie Pies	4	0	4	6	10	-4	12
9	Howdon Harriers	3	1	4	11	10	1	10
10	Spayne	3	0	5	6	12	-6	9
11	Dudley Boys	3	0	5	6	18	-12	9
12	The Gallowgate	2	2	4	5	13	-8	8
13	Chevy's Choppers	2	1	5	13	14	-1	7
14	Baxter Basics	2	1	5	11	17	-6	7
15	Ceptic	2	0	6	9	13	-4	6
16	Blaydon Racers	2	0	6	8	15	-7	6

Tomorrow's games are:

Fixtures: Match 9

BBS Premier Corinthian League

Ath B'worth	Vs	Bar Samba
Brdo Utd	Vs	Bor C'bch
Brwry Drp Utd	Vs	HTIN?
Mac Mar	Vs	Min Acad
Pil Con	Vs	Steph Sup
TFNASS	Vs	ITKHWB
T Goons	Vs	Toon Trag
W'end OB	Vs	W'stck Co

BBS Notionless League Division 1

Bax Bas	Vs	Bla Rac
Ceptic	Vs	Che Chop
Dud Boys	Vs	Dunc's D's
How Har	Vs	JHP
PPP	Vs	PLU
Q Mech	Vs	Real Z
Spayne	Vs	G'gate
TSW	Vs	Y Yobs

Prepare to defend yourselves Jessies High Pants, the Howdon Harriers are gonna leave you well and truly skid-marked :-)

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2000

Answers

Cheers Softie. Won 'em both as well! That's 4 wins following four defeats. This is certainly an interesting league - and I don't think you've picked a game yet that had what I'd consider a typical "everyone's fit" team. Beardsley still waiting for his first game, Albert and Howie break their duck, Hamilton's appeared in 4 of the games and Tommason's appeared twice and scored in both games!

It's a funny old game. :o))

Maybe that's been the trouble these last few years. We've never been able to field our best side.

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2000

Won a game and off the bottom of the table! Onwards and upwards lads! Keep showing that kind of spirit and we'll be safe by Christmas!

-- Anonymous, April 27, 2000

Dear Mr.Soft (formerly from the south I believe),

Rest assured that the famous 'High-Pants' have no intention of leaving your stench-ridden 'Broon Bowl' with soiled undergarments. Their fine (and, may I say, particularly good-looking) Mams have always sent the lads out in pristine, white knickerbockers. I have absolutely no intention of breaking the habit of a managerial lfetime by returning their little johnnies home to them complete with chocolate soldiers in their landing gear. No, my friend, the only little trophies these upstanding young men will be parading before their kith & kin up on t'Moor will be the three points seized from your crappy Howden Harriers.

I look forward to making your acquaintance (passing I hope) at the match. I shall be the gentleman on the touchline with a peg on his nose.

Yours etc.

Mr.L."Jessie" Toon Esq.

-- Anonymous, April 28, 2000

All right then Bullet, where's all this "Shagadellic Soccer" then???

-- Anonymous, April 28, 2000

It's hard playing 2 games in one night, especially as I myself was playing away. More Pizza anyone?

-- Anonymous, April 28, 2000

Hmm?! Stellar Warriors are doing a bit of yo-yoing here! Much excitement about tonights BIG home derby! (:o)

-- Anonymous, April 28, 2000

Something tells me that when I crush Jessie's High Pants this evening my integrity with regards to match choosing may be called into question.

I therefore challenge the chief Jessie to go to the following url:

http://www.randomizer.org/form.htm

Please ask for a single random number between 1 and 231 and post it here.

As clear a case of ,"Choose your weapon, varlet!" as I can think of.

"Football coaching for Dummies" indeed! This from a man whose shelves boast "The Beano book of Football Fun" and the "Noddy night-light for bed-wetters".

-- Anonymous, April 28, 2000

Er,

OK Softie, so maybe I'm a bit stupid, but how do we know you'd pick the match corresponding to that number - apart from the fact that we all trust you implicitly, making this exercise totally unnecessary! Besides, I'll bet the matches are in chronological order, so if you asked me to do that, and most of my players were from the 95-96 era, I might be tempted to pick a low number. Don't rise to the bait Softie, keep up the good work. :o)))

-- Anonymous, April 28, 2000

Dear Mr.Soft

Unfortunately, I didn't get to see your missive until after the big match, so I assume you resorted to your usual method of match-fixing (oops, match-choosing - Freudian slip).

I've been assured that, upon official protest by the management of Jessie's High Pants, the FA are currently doing some "probing". Probing into what, precisely, they wouldn't tell me, although I was told that they have appointed their usual "crack" team. Come to think of it, the man's voice did sound a trifle muffled ......

-- Anonymous, May 01, 2000