my parter and i have a 25 acre homestead in se ohio, and we dont hear a lot about homesteaders who are gay. living a double "alternative lifestyle" has many of the same, but many different challenges. most of our gay friends are city folks who think we are pretty darn weird for wanting to do this, and most of our local neighbors are pretty conservative about the whole gay thing... i'd be interested in feedback of any kind...

-- john houser (farmrjon@juno.com), April 17, 2000

Answers

Hi John,

My opinion is that this board is pretty darn conservative. I'm glad you are here - we need the diversity! Welcome! Kim

-- kim (fleece@eritter.net), April 17, 2000.

Kim: I'm don't get the conservative impression you do from this board. It seems like the folks here respect the rights of others to have different opinions, and simply enjoy the commonality of homesteading lifestyle, unlike other boards i've been to that are definitely conservative.

I know of a gay couple that live not far from here who are homesteading but I don't know if they're online or not.

-- john leake (natlivent@pcpros.net), April 17, 2000.

Hi John...glad you wrote! Gay or otherwise, you'll like this forum. I'm kind of new here myself (been a "lurker" for a while, though) and have felt a bit different, too, since our focus is farm animal rescue and vegetarianism. But, like life in general, take what you can use and leave the rest! My hunch is that there are people who use this forum but never mention that they are gay.( How relevant is it, actually??) Anyway, welcome!

-- Shannon (gratacres@aol.com), April 17, 2000.

Welcome, John. I'm not gay, but sometimes I wish I were. Anyway, I am Jewish, which means we have the double alternative lifestyle thing in common. I live 100 miles from the nearest synagogue, and my neighbors have never met a Jew before us. I can't explain my draw to country life, and my family thinks I am crazy.

At this website there seems to be a very wide range of diversity. I welcome your opinions and viewpoint, and fail to see how your chickens will behave differently or your tomatoes will grow differently because of your sexual orientation. Most of my Jewish friends are in the city as well.

-- Rachel (rldk@hotmail.com), April 17, 2000.

Welcome, John. Doesn't matter one hoot whether you are gay or not, in fact no reason to explain any of our lifestyles. You should find a lot of diversity here, some you will agree with, some you won't. Just hang in there, and use what you can of the information and opinions presented here, and give us some of your own experiences, too. We all learn from each other. Again, welcome, and happy homesteading. It's a great life, no matter how you define it! Jan

-- Jan Bullock (Janice12@aol.com), April 17, 2000.

Hi John,

From a non-religious Jew married to a non-white, non-Christian living in So. Utah surrounded by Mormons! LOL! Of course most of our neighbors think we're nuts, rescuing animals instead of eating them, and not having any kids, etc. But we've made wonderful new friends who accept and respect our beliefs as we respect theirs.

We have gay fiends here, too, although they're not homesteaders like us, and some of them are more comfortable staying in the 'closet' for the most part here in cowboy central, and of course some of those closet-dwellers ARE cowboys :-).

I'm new to this forum, followed Elizabeth over here from Backwoods Home, but have been a Countryside subscriber for many years. I think I like it here, too.

-- Jorja Hernandez (jorja@color-country.net), April 17, 2000.

Yes, we are a long term gay couple living in the country and due to the "warning" post I refuse to post my name. I'd been reluctant to post anyway and that clinched it. We're just the "girls at the end of the road" to folks around here. Its the same as anything I guess. When you treat neighbors well, they'll treat you well.

-- A (Anonymousfor harassments@sake.com), April 17, 2000.

Welcome to the board! I am also not gay, but some of my best friends........O,K,! Someone had to say it! I am a transplanted San Diego native living in East Texas, now that is pretty darn weird! I am the Goat Lady living at the end of the road. Vicki

-- Vicki McGaugh (vickilonesomedoe@hotmail.com), April 17, 2000.

welcome aboard, this is a great group , I think you will like it here.

-- kathy h (saddlebronc@msn.com), April 17, 2000.

Welcome, John, I'm not gay (flaming hetero, actually :) but there are LOTS gays/lesbians here. The ones who are the closest to being "homesteaders" are "The Girls", as they are affectionately known. They live on a twenty or thirty acre farm, but supplement their income with "real jobs" at times. I love 'em! They never hit on me! Some of my friends have a bit of trouble with one of them, who is a bit too outspoken and aggressive for their taste, but she and I really have fun verbally sparring with each other.

A million cheers for diversity!

JOJ

-- jumpoff joe (jumpoff@echoweb.net), April 17, 2000.

Gay? Hmmmm... I couldn't remember, so I asked my husband - he says that we're straight. Guess I'll have to take his word on it... : )

Wish that I could give you some answers or input from your perspective, but I can't. Pity that this world discrimnates over such silly things, isn't it? Skin color, ethnicity, speech, education, religion, sexual orientation, blah, blah, blah. None of that matters to me as long as you do your share of the work, don't take more than your share of the results and return my tools in the condition that they were in when you borrowed them. Welcome to my back-yard, we're all glad that you're here!

-- Polly (tigger@moultrie.com), April 17, 2000.

Well, John, pardon my lapse of manners! Welcome! I was going to get a casserole dish to bring over so's I could say "howdy", but the masking tape on the bottom of that ol' Corning Ware is about off... Still has all the sticky stuff from the backside of it, though) and I was afraid that since I live so far away that I would never get the dish back if'n my name wasn't on it!

Anyway, this is a great forum and there's room for all of us. Besides, who knows what we are all really like? Only a few of us have met off the internet!!

-- sheepish (rborgo@gte.net), April 17, 2000.

Okay guys, you are a great group, hope I didn't offend anyone by saying you were conservative! Kim

-- kim (fleece@eritter.net), April 18, 2000.

Hi John and welcome. Hope you like being part of a wild and wacky group of folks. Best thing about posting and reading here, is that you can get almost any question answered with valid reasons given. Wide diversity of information just for asking. Most folks are willing to spend their _time_ finding you an answer.

As for your 'still urban' friends, just plant your garden well and then offer them some goodies. It's always amazing how good food can help with a person's outlook.

Enjoy the community.

j

-- j (jw_hsv@yahoo.com), April 18, 2000.

Personally, I haven't yet asked anyone what their bedroom habits are and I don't think I will. Your animals only care that you take good care of them and we feel the same way. Welcome!

-- Peg (wildwoodfarms@hushmail.com), April 18, 2000.

Sheepish

Off the subject, I know....but here is a tip re: Corning Ware not returned. I bought a whole box of pyrex dishes - pans without lids, lids without pans, etc... at an auction for two bucks. Stuff like that often goes begging (especially if it's raining or cold!). I always use it when I need to send something - that way I don't miss it so much if it doesn't come home. Also, those name and address labels that fund raising groups send out have managed to remain on my pyrex and rubbermaid for several dishwashings. Matter of fact, they are kind of a pain to GET off! Sigh..... I miss cigarette lighter fluid!

-- Polly (tigger@moultrie.com), April 18, 2000.

Welcome to the club! I don't have the same type of 'alternative lifestyle' as you, but I do raise a few eyebrows now and then. I am in sw Ohio, feel free to give me a holler.

-- Connie (connie@lunehaven.com), April 18, 2000.

Hi John, I am new to this forum, guess I, too, followed Elizabeth from BWH, I live in New Orleans and have several gay friends. The folks on this forum seem very nice, sort of live and let live.

Blessings,

Judy

-- Judy Murray (jmurray@mailhost.tcs.tulane.edu), April 18, 2000.

Welcome! I'm a musician living in the country with a greenhouse, garden and chickens who belives in self-suffiency. Most people think I'm either crazy or I really know what is important. Either way I'm different from most folks.

-- Cheryl Cox (cox33055@aol.com), April 18, 2000.

I'm trying to figure out what your sexual orientation has to do with the Countryside Forum? We're a swell, friendly, helpful, kind and interesting group of people. Who cares what you look like, or whom you choose to love? We have differences of opinion, of course, but the bottom line is that we care for each other and are always ready to lend a helping hand to one another. Join us and WELCOME! Paulette

-- paulette mark (kiwi333@ipa.net), April 19, 2000.

Paulette, it is because rural safety is a different issue if you prepare for potential hate crimes. Because property rights and deeds are different for unmarried partners. Because some people label you and don't even know you. Because your particular minority doesn't understand your apparent alliance with a majority, in any manner. Because its always nice to know there are other people like you in your community, even on-line.

I don't know why religious beliefs matter so much to people here either, except for all the reasons I just mentioned.(!)

-- A (Razerfish@aol.com), April 19, 2000.

Hi John, my hubby says, we are straight, too! (ha) I'm an old hairdresser, & when I traveled the show circuit, ( no joke)--truely most all the people I worked with & hung with, were gay! I preached to them all for over 20 years about their lifestyle, but they all love me anyway!! We always were straight on with each other & knew what each other thought & respected each other's opinions. I'm a Christain, vegetarain living in a rural area, in the heart of cattle country--who has gay friends who come to visit us!!!!! The girls who own the brown house behind our barn are "gay"--but it doesn't seem to effect our gardening together!! ha! When ever they need anything they come to me, as they say, they always know where I'm comming from! I guess not every one in this small town we live in, feels like I do! Welcome--I too am a new here.

-- Sonda Bruce (sgbruce@birch.net), April 20, 2000.

A.

I think that was pretty darn well said! Thanks for helping us all to "get it"!

-- kim (fleece@eritter.net), April 21, 2000.

Well said Polly! My thoughts exactly!

-- Novina West (lamb@stellarnet.com), April 27, 2000.

I know this is a very late response to this question, but I just discovered this forum. Maybe no one will see this... John, I'm glad you brought this up. Those who are not gay don't really know what it's like to see life from this side of the fence. I am a single lesbian who recently bought a two and a half acre parcel in California. I am slightly worried about whether I will be accepted or not. I am not yet living there, just paying for it and visiting it about once a month. When California was voting of Proposition 22, there were many "Vote No on 22" signs in the area. But my lifelong dream has been to homestead and that is stronger than my fears. Just wanted to put that out there. I'm glad you got such positive feedback! I hope some of those folks turn out to be my neighbors! Good luck to you both.

-- Anne (onyxroad@yahoo.com), June 04, 2000.

Anne, we are all "neighbors" on this forum! Welcome and good luck to you.

-- sheepish (rborgo@gte.net), June 04, 2000.

Welcome, Anne, and John, how is homesteading going now for you and your partner? Are your "city" friends more accepting? Have you planted any garden this year? Hope you are still lurking and participating in the forum! Let us know about some of your endeavors this year! Jan

-- Jan in Colorado (Janice12@aol.com), June 10, 2000.

Homesteading is an attitude, not a sexual preference. Welcome, welcome, welcome.

-- Mark Windbiel (mwindbiel@hotmail.com), June 19, 2000.

Hi John and welcome! Yes there are a lot of us gay/lesbian homesteaders out there. I also don't know what sexual orientation has to do with it but it does present some unique problems that only those who also live our lifestyle can possibly understand, such as safety, etc..I don't believe that its so much a "gay" issue as a minority issue tho. Hope things are going well for you. My partner had been very closeted until she met me! I usually don't bring it up, but I don't hide neither. I am who I am and people generally seem to accept that. I even had co-workers who did the cooking at our "committment/wedding" this June. We live by the Golden Rule and try to treat others as we would like to be treated. We don't push our lifestyle on them and they don't push theirs on us. We respect others for who they are. Take Care, Barb

-- Barb (WILDETMR@YAHOO.COM), November 16, 2000.

Hey and Welcome..Personally I don't care who you are and what your preference is as long as you can give helpful hints and solid information..especially about computers!!

-- Lynn (mscratch1@semo.net), November 18, 2000.

My partner of 20 years and I are planning to go back into the trees as soon as we can find a place or a shared community. We've saved up about 30K for the effort.

The last time out we were generally accepted by everyone which is sorta interesting as not only are we a gay couple , but a salt n pepper couple as well.

The nearest town had a booming population of 650 people and the major industry was logging.

Today we are in the city , making money , yet feeling miserable. Enough so that it has us hunting for another spot in the trees.

Perhaps there is a land trust or something out there that could take on a couple more people , and then I could re-direct some of that money into a good solar system.

-- Ian Storms (drclue@drclue.net), March 17, 2001.

Wow John, Welcome. You've inspired me. As long as this is a coming out thread....okay , I'm an agnostic Buddhist. Whew, I feel much better. Some of the nicest people I have known are gay. peace

-- jz (oz49us@yahoo.com), March 17, 2001.

Surprise......we are everywhere!

-- Earthmama (earthmama48@yahoo.com), March 17, 2001.

As long as you're christian and believe in Christ. I've been lurking for a while, and I don't believe other religions would be comfortable here....even though there are many faiths who homestead.

-- sara (sarajane2345@aol.com), March 19, 2001.

Howdy and God bless! As a person with a disability, I've faced all different reactions from ppl for being "different". The people who hated or distrusted me were the only ones that scared me. I really wonder what is in their hearts. Good luck and welcome to the forum. We have many wonderful and sometimes heated discussions. I hope that we can help you and, at the same time, you can help us.

-- Ardie from WI (a6203@hotmail.com), March 19, 2001.

such a nice inclusive thread and then along comes ignorance in the form of a bigot.....sarah, peace

-- jz (oz49us@yahoo.com), March 19, 2001.

jz, I dunno...I thought she was just making an observation. Peace back at ya! (you, too, Sarah, and all who visit here....)

-- sheepish (WA) (rborgo@gte.net), March 19, 2001.

Thank you all for your words. i don't know why it is, but when i try to send a response directly to "sara" the address given here is not a valid one. I have "met" some nice people, though....

everybody, really you should give a valid address if you are going to give one at all...

spring is here!!!

john

-- john (farmRjon@juno.com), March 21, 2001.

Thanx John for breaching the subject. I'm a VT gay homesteader and I was concerned also if I would be welcomed. I daringly placed my "Homestead Available" ad wondering what kind of response I'd get. The only response was from someone warning me about the conservative nature of this site. lol. Now I feel equal and welcome.

Thanx all.

-- Stephen Tracy (oleoacresvt@yahoo.com), April 26, 2001.

Sarah--please don't limit those of us who don't see the world as you do. I do my %$#@& not to write off those that disagree with me (the christians, buddhists, hare krishnas, etc), please try that hard as well. Thanks.

-- Anne (HealthyTouch101@wildmail.com), April 26, 2001.