... and you find this really goofy personality test.

What did it say about you?

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

Answers

So there was my boyfriend, a squirrel and a rock that i kicked at the squirrel and a big house with no fence and flowers and windows, a plastic cup that I threw away and a big lake i didn't want to cross. So what that says about me is that my boyfriend is the most important person in my life, my problems are small, I kick little animals for fun, I'd work in a big way to fix my small problems, I'm generally happy, I find my boyfriend who is the most important person in my life disposable and in fact I threw him away with that cup, and my desire for sex is as big as the big lake, but I refuse to have it because I didn't want to cross the lake...

Ummm, it's just so full of contradictions it's fun. Anyone who knows me that the most honest facts in here are that I love my boyfriend dearly and I ALWAYS kick rocks at squ

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

You think yours was worrying Alison! I was in the woods with Tristan, I found a bear (I was thinking teddy bear), I played with it (which is kind of what I do with my problems) ... it was all great, but then my cup was clay and I smashed it! So Tristan's is big trouble - and I went across a lake in a rowboat - no getting wet at all. Oh, and I have a fence, so don't drop in unannounced. And I had flowers, so at least I'm happy.

I need to lie down and think about things.

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

So there I am with my wife when we see this squirrel, and I just watch it. We get to my little house with no fence (but lots of flowers around it, not that they asked), and in the dining room the table has flowers and condiments and chairs but no people. Guess I live in a diner. Out back is a china cup that I leave behind as I walk down to the lake and don't cross it. Small problems, no ambition, no stress, no commitment. And me with a job interview tomorrow. Terrific.

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

Oh good, I finally get to answer questions about the Pope and a bear, and the tree falling, and Helan Keller....

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

I forgot to discuss my answers. I like the format y'all have chosen, so I'll use it.

So there I was in the woods, with Jeremy and Doc, when we saw this deer. Doc chased the deer, and then we saw this enormous house with no fence and a table covered in yesterday's mail and a lot of boxes. No flowers or food. In the back yard was a plastic cup which I just left there as I headed toward the nearby river, which I hopped across.

I'm a very unhappy person, but you can drop by any time and hang out with me and Jeremy and Doc, who are very important to me even though I'd leave them in a hot second. I have deer sized problems and a huge desire to overcome them. And I'm obviously not very horny, because that river was small enough for me to hop, and I'm not much of a hopper.

I'm so glad that's all cleared up.

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

I am scheduling my therapy appointment for this evening. I was walking with my Mother, and there was this raccoon and I just watched it eat and ignored it. There was a house with no fence (so drop by anytime) the table had some flowers thank God, and out the backdoor was a crystal clear blue lake that I SWAM across. Can't get any wetter than that guys! Oh, I forgot- my cup was white styrofoam and I just picked it up and looked at it. not good.

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

I was walking in the woods with a friend when we saw a tiger (big problem) which growled (b/c I'm passive-aggressive). We moved on to the little cottage (b/c I have no willpower to overcome my problems) where the table was covered with mail, books, and unfinished projects (this, I will admit, is revealing, but I would like some credit for not having a fence). Outside, I found a paper cup and put it in my pocket to throw away later (just trying to be green, but the program took it the wrong way). There was a river and I waded across, but you know, if it got deep I would have no problem swimming. I went through the first three Red Cross levels and everything.

There are similar tests that go something like this:

1. What's your favorite animal? Write 3 adjectives describing it. 2. Second favorite? Write 3 adjectives describing it. 3. Favorite drink? Write 3 adjectives describing it. 4. You are in a white room. Describe it. 5. While you are in this room, a voice says, "Sit down." What do you do?

I'll post the explanation later, or someone who remembers this one better than I do can do it sooner.

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

So I'm walking through the woods with Aaron (husband) and I see this rabbit. I feed it a carrot. The I come to this big, beautiful natural shingled Craftsman style with all sorts of cool angles and windows. No fence. In the dining room is a table with a huge spread of sweet meats and cheeses and fresh fruit in front of a big picture window looking out over a view of a valley. No people. I went out the the back and found a sweet little porceline (sp?) cup and took it back into the kitchen. Then I went out to this big lake, got naked, and swam across it.

So...I don't get the part about the carrot. Do I feed my problems? Nurture them? Is this good or bad? I am definately very ambitious about overcoming adversity. I need more people in my life. I guess I'm pretty happy about my relationship and my life in general. Sweetie needs to clean up the kitchen. And I am so oversexed. Sounds about right!

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

I never took this one before and it was fun! Here goes:

Im walking in the woods with my husband and I see a fox and watch it for a while. Then I encounter my large unfenced dream house. The table is cleared off and surrounded by chairs. Outside theres a plastic cup (the kind they give away at the ballpark) on the ground which I ignore. Then I come to a man made fish pond and walk around it.

According to this, my husband is the most important person in my life (probably true), I have relatively small problems which I solve by passive aggression (some truth there) yet I have a large ambition to resolve those problems. I have an open personality but am unhappy because I dont have flowers or people at my table (I see the cleared off table as positive and the chairs as potential people). I consider my relationship with my husband disposable though it wont disintigrate in landfill (not true  I think Im just excited about going to the new ballpark this weekend) and do nothing with him (not true). My sexual desire is small and unimportant to me (true).

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

I am in big trouble cause I was walking with the dogs only! I hope this doesn't mean I am doomed to veterinary spinsterhood. The dogs barked at the bear and scared it away (good dogs! deal with all my big problems for me). We walked to a small house with a huge, fenced in yard (possibly exhibiting zero desire to solve internal problems, but a drive to solve external problems...?... that may indeed be correct if house is personal and yard is professional and with regards to the fence I definately hate people coming over unannounced! "I vant to be alone"). Inside we find a dining table with flowers and food but no people. (Happy, happy...) I walk outside to find a plastic cup (disposable but durable) which I bring into the house to wash up (yep, I spend an inordinate amount of time cleaning up after those dogs). We walk out and find a lake which we swim across (and I won't even go there!).

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

I was walking through the woods with my dog and we came upon a raccoon, to whom I promptly said "Boo" and he ran away. We came to a large house with no fence and inside the house there is a dining room table with papers, plants (whew!) and a computer on it (when I owned a table, that's what was on it)....then I go out the back door and see a plastic cup which I leave there (actually, I wrote "Leave it Alone" which does not bode well for my dog but that's what he hears the majority of the time so I thought it rather fitting) and see a nice big lake which I promptly row across in a little jon-boat.

Somehow I do not feel psychoanalyzed one little bit. But it was pretty funny.

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

I was in the woods with my best friend. I saw a deer and it ran. (That's what they do - deer, not my problems. They run. My problems growl.) I found a little house, with a table strewn in newspapers and junk mail. There was a sort of teacup outside, and I kicked it. (Not good for the friend.) I got into a sailboat and crossed the ocean. I think this says that I just think too realistically.

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

My companion and I saw a squirrel in the woods, but it ran away. Then we came to this huge, sprawling old Victorian house (I always wanted to say to my guests, "You're in the west wing, dearest.") It was surrounded, not by a fence but by a stone wall. Within, on the well- polished walnut table was a silver bowl of roses, and the table surrounded by chairs (empty), and paintings and a mirror on the walls.

(If you can get in, you'll be welcome and have a good time.)

Walking out the back door (through, incidentally, a butler's pantry) I came upon a wooden cup (in the goblet form) and carried it. I walked down the slightly overgrown lawn, and came upon a swift- running stream of clear water, which I waded across, getting wet to the knees.

The only thing is, my loyal and beloved companion was... a bear I'd never met in my life. I dunno. It was the first thing that came to my mind.

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

Well, I was walking in the woods with my husband (who is the most important person to me) when I saw a bear. The bear just looked at me and ambled away--passive anyone?

Then we come to a house--medium-sized--with no fence. I thought I was safe from people dropping in because we're deep in the woods! The dining table has chairs, placemats, and piles of paper.

Out the back I found a silver cup! --that I took back inside and left by the kitchen sink to be washed. Does anyone have any theories on that?

The we come to the lake which I cross using the coincidentally convenient rowboat.

I think I suffer from reality as some of the others above have admitted. For example, I work right on Lake Michigan, so it makes sense that my body of water is a lake. Plus, the bigger the body of water, the less likely you are to get wet while crossing it. Most people don't think of swimming across a great lake or the ocean!

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

I'm walking through the woods with my best friend, Jenn. I see a deer, which I feed and pet (all wildlife are tame in my imagination). We come upon my unfenced house, which is quite large, but not a mansion. Jenn and I walk inside and stand in my dining room. Flowers and candles sit upon the formal dining table. Going outside I spy a ceramic cup on the ground, which I pick up. Then I swim across a big lake to get to the other side.

So Jenn is the most important person in my life (she's been my best friend for nearly 20 years), but our relationship isn't durable, though I carry her with me. Huh?

I'm an open, somewhat happy, passive-agressive person (true) with medium sized problems but big ambitions to overcome them (also true). I've also got a large sex drive, and I'm quite willing to indulge in it (yes, true as well, but within reason).

Did I leave anything out?

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

So there I was walking alone in the woods (guess there's nobody important in my life) when I came across a bear which I just watched warily from where I was (that sounds right; big problems that I'm too passive to try to solve). The unfenced house was pretty big, & inside the table was set for dinner. Lots of chairs & place settings, but no food or people. There were flowers, but that was an afterthought. When I left, I picked up & kept the fine bone china tea cup I found. (If there's nobody important in my life, why do I want to keep them around?) The body of water was a small, fast-flowing stream that I jumped across easily (so not much of a libido).

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

Whenever I'm in the woods, I'm *always* with my dog, damn it. We see a squirrel, the dog tries to chase it, pulling me. In the woods, we see a small house, with salt and pepper on the table, damn it. Out the back door, I find a ceramic cup, and pick it up, then cross to the pond, damn it, where I wade or swim across.

I think it's demoralizing that my dog is the most important person in my life (although she is the greatest dog on earth). I am totally passive with my problems, and I am an open person. I've been pretty unhappy lately, but I hope that will get better as I get over my most recent relationship. I'm surprised to find myself diagnosed with a small sex drive, frankly, but relieved to know that what little drive I can claim is at least important to me.

I really want to see how my ex would answer these questions...

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

Intesting that so many people picked a squirrel. And I was a little worried about what it says that I chose a lake and boat until I saw so many other poeople did too!

BTW, my cup was pewter and I picked it up... so I guess the person in my life is here to stay

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

My boyfriend and I are walking through the woods. I pass a rabbit. We just eye each other as I pass. For some reason the boyfriend isn't in the picture anymore. The house is a tiny stone cottage with a stone wall around it. The table has a typewriter, papers, cats, and flowers on it. The cup is aluminum. I take it into the kitchen and put it where it belongs. There is cliff by the ocean behind my house. I chose not to cross the water.

call the men in the white coats.

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

Right, so I'm walking in the woods with my husband, Andy, when we come across this cute little squirrel. I feed the squirrel a nut, and a few moments later we find this sunny little cottage with no fence. Inside, there's a dining room with a pepper grinder on a sunlight- draped table which is on a wood floor. I get bored with that and walk outside, where I find a plastic cup. I leave the cup right where it is (Hi, Beth! We both have plastic, throw-away men in our lives!) and walk a little further, only to find a stream at the edge of the property. I wade through the stream, and thus the story ends.

What on earth does feeding the squirrel mean? My problems are cute, furry, and buck-toothed? I feed my problems? I like my problems? I nurture them? Aie. I'm pleased that I thought of Andy instead of anybody else; I'm not sure that would've been the case a year ago. That's entirely too much information for a silly, fun little survey, though, isn't it?

-- Shelly (www.msu.edu/~hought20)

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

I have to wonder, however, if leaving a cup right where it is means that we like the person in number one just as he or she is.

(This is the optimism that comes from having a little squirrel.)

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

I'm with my dog--who, by the way, is either hypothetical or a ghost, since I haven't had one since 1991--and we see a deer. A white- tailed deer, so I'm obviously home in Connecticut (with my dead dog) rather than here in dog-less Colorado. The deer and I watch each other until the dog startles it. My fenceless, Goldilocks ("juuuust right") house has a dining table set for several, with candlesticks and a bowl of red apples (now I'm Little Red Riding Hood, not Goldilocks) and a vase of freesias (can you even cut them? I don't know. But they were Penelope Stern Keeling's favorite flower, and she is one of my favorite literary characters (Rosamund Pilcher, The Shell-Seekers)and the only favorite character who I can remember mentioning a favorite flower at all, so there you are) on it. There are several (empty) chairs around the table. In the back yard I pick up a wooden cup, and I was surprised it was wooden (unless it's the right Holy Grail that Indiana Jones picked up) until I noticed it was the toy with the rubber ball on a string, so I bounced the ball into the cup before preceding to swim across a small lake.

Besides that I recognized the animal-room-water motifs from the other Freudian analysis quiz someone mentioned above, my answers are skewed anyway. Being from Connecticut, I am much more likely to see a white-tailed deer in the woods than, say, an elephant or even a moose. Does that mean my problems are smaller than those of someone from Vermont or the Kalihari (where there are woods and bodies of water aplenty, I'm sure).

Anyway, I passively face my problems until my dead dog makes them go away. I think I have friends (chairs) but I really don't (since they're empty). I refuse to grow up (cup and ball) but at least by this point in my life I can get the ball into the cup. And the only reason I didn't nudey-dip in the lake is that I was crossing it, and breasts impede serious swimming.

I don't find that they impede sex, though.

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

I walk through the woods with my husband, and low and behold I see a squirrel (amazing since there are none in Australia, no? But we don't really have 'woods' either). The squirrel and I look at each other, as I walk by.

My dream house has a fence around the back but not the front, and it is a rambling single story house though it looks small from outside. There are flowers on the dining table and a tea set, but no people.

Outside I notice a china cup on the ground which leave there. There is a lake at the edge of the property, which I walk around to a small feeder stream, where I step across on stepping stones.

So Chris is the most important person in my life, but I would leave him thoughtlessly where he falls. The relationship is not terribly durable. I have a huge sex drive, but care not for it. I am not generally unhappy, and have only small problems which I look at passively, and move on. I have a great deisre to solve them however.

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

Okay, first of all... how many people started to read this forum before they went and answered the questions? I'm thinking that might contribute to the overwhelming number of squirrels in the answers. I'm only saying that because I glanced at the first sentence of the first answer before taking the test, so squirrel was sticking out in my mind... and it says use the first thing that comes to mind, so I think I got gipped. But anyway...

I took this test a long, long time ago, but couldn't remember what everything stood for, so decided to take it again. This time around worries me:

I'm walking in the woods with Jake (husband) by my side and he is pushing Jessica (Daughter) in her ALL-TERRAIN Eddie Bauer stroller.

We come across a SQUIRREL (gipped, I say) which Jessica feeds.

This is where I start to get worried. Does that mean that Jessica will take care of all of my little, bitty, furry problems for me? Or does that mean that I feel she is the root of all of my problems? =(

We come across our dream house which is a medium sized, three bedroom cottage. I guess that's good, since my problems are so small, I only need medium ambition to resolve them anyway.

Like Amy, once I entered the house, Jake didn't seem to still be in the picture. How odd.

Oh, right. Yes, there's a fence. It's a short, white picket fence, which I don't think was there the last time I did this test, and that makes a lot of sense since in yesterday's entry I was just talking about how I was going batty from all the phone calls and visits that I've received since Jessica's been born. Interesting.

Anywho... in the house, the table has some bills on it and a bowl of green apples, four chairs and placemats. So I'm happy, I guess...

I walk out in back and pick up the wood cup and drink from it. So... my relationship with Jake and Jess is natural and durable and trusting, as I'd just pick them up and drink from them after they'd been on the ground. Nifty.

Then I come to (this is the part that blew me away) a pond. Yes, a pond. How will I cross it?

I won't.

The words screamed from my head as I read the question.

Anyone that knows me, and knows what a horn-ball I claim to be will understand how odd those last two answers are. However, I have noticed that my sex drive is doing this wacky thing since Jessica's been born. It was pretty normal for a while there (we had sex after only two weeks), but lately I've been feeling kinda quirky and triggered. So, the fact that I don't want to go anywhere near that little pond is kinda right in a very sad way.

How odd.

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

I will quibble with the test a bit like Jolene does.

The test asks you to put whatever comes to your mind. All of them I did. On the cup question, where it came from or why, puzzles me. My answer was "the Holy Grail." which from what little reading I did on the subject tells me that the grail is a chalice. Boy when I pick 'em they are doozies.

Maybe someday after I forget the answers I gave today it will be worth another try. But still think I will argue the results. It was fun though playing the train of thought game. As the psychiatrist said in reply, "Oh, and how do you feel about that ?" The damn fool is supposed to tell me how to feel or my X amount per hour is wasted.

I know the wackiness I promulgate, but it does come out of me from somewhere.

Don't pay attention to the man behind the curtain !

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

I will quibble with the test a bit like Jolene does.

The test asks you to put whatever comes to your mind. All of them I did. On the cup question, where it came from or why, puzzles me. My answer was "the Holy Grail." which from what little reading I did on the subject tells me that the grail is a chalice. Boy when I pick 'em they are doozies.

Maybe someday after I forget the answers I gave today it will be worth another try. But still think I will argue the results. It was fun though playing the train of thought game. As the psychiatrist said in reply, "Oh, and how do you feel about that ?" The damn fool is supposed to tell me how to feel or my X amount per hour is wasted.

I know the wackiness I promulgate, but it does come out of me from somewhere.

Don't pay attention to the man behind the curtain !

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

Well, apparently the most important person in my life is the girl next door who I made up on the spot. I take a somewhat passive approach to solving my approximately wolf-sized problems, but my ambition to solve them is approximately fifty feet wide by a hundred feet long so that's OK. However, I have a closed personality and am generally unhappy because my dining room table doesn't feature people, food or flowers, and my relationship with the mythical person in question one is pretty disposable and I will likely get rid of her, because my sexual desires are approximately the size of a small creek which I can't be bothered crossing.

That sounds like me all right. (Not.)

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

I got home and asked my husband the questions from the test:

He goes walking in the woods with me, and we come across the bear. He runs from it faster than I do (silly, silly man). Small house, the dining room has blue things in it. He goes outside, and what does he find?

A gold cup, which he picks up and polishes, then goes and puts on the mantel.

Don't I feel like a heel?

He had a stream, too, but rowed across it.

I swear we're moving to a seashore when our lives settle down. Honest.

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

Let's see...

I was walking in the woods with a friend I haven't seen in 10 years, so I rather doubt the "most important" person part. My problems are chipmunk size and when they see me, they run away. My dream house is large but not huge. My dining room table has no people around it, but there are flowers on it (a close one). The cup out back is plastic, the body of water is a large lake and I crossed it in a canoe, which means I practice safe water, I guess.

As a psychological test, I didn;t think this was so hot. For instance I would think that most people's cups would be "disposable" because it was "lying in the grass" and not left on a table or placed on an altar or something like that. Also, a lot of my answers were based on the specific images I got from "in the woods." I kept seeing the sort of things I'd see in the woods around where I live, rather than deep things from my psyche.

However, the test was fun and it was interesting to read other people's responses, so maybe that's what it was really about.

-- Anonymous, April 14, 2000

so im with my gaurdian ange-lyla-and we come upon a racoon,and proceed to attempt sex with the poor creature(i dont know why i typed that..?)I guess sex popped into my head at the wrong question.well anyhow,i arrived at a cottage style house w/no fence.on the table-pizza,and rootbeer-plain and simple.out back was a plastic cup,so i guess my relationship w/g.angel is either flexible and long term,or easily crushed.?Tossed the cup into a recycling bin(hoaky..),and then came upon a fresh water lake,with a row boat(paddles and all).So it figures,im confused.the row-boat to cross the water,it meant that my need for sex was dry,but then why did i blurt out -sex- with a poor racoon? Help, im tired, spacy, or sorted.

-- Anonymous, April 14, 2000

So, basically, I'm an unhappy, oversexed but sexually inhibited chick in a durable relationship who has cottage-sized ambition to solve her problems.

But, uh... no fences? Yay?

Hmm.

I'm glad I wasn't the only one with a gold cup... I was beginning to feel a bit schmaltzy.

*snort* Sex with a raccoon? Remembering why I can't read these forums at work...

-- Anonymous, April 14, 2000

alrighty - I messed up the first question because I thought it said 'You are alone...who are you with' and thought it might be all about perception of self or something, and typed 'myself' which I suppose means I quite like myself. Hey - bonus insight! Fortunately I re- read and took better care with the rest.

So I'm walking in the woods with my husband when I come across a squirrel (in answer to the person dubious about all the squirrels: I'm in Scotland and our common woodland wildlife just isn't very exciting so squirrels is as good as it gets.) The squirrel and I chat for a while (which I thought was a bit odd, until I read about having sex with a racoon and now feel strangely comforted) before I get to my medium-size fence-free house. The table is covered with food and books and has empty chairs round it (so I guess those friends didn't drop by after all). I find a silver cup in the grass out back and pick it up before popping down to the river and wading across.

So I'm quite happy with my precious metal hubbie, knee-deep in sex and talk to my problems. Could be worse...

-- Anonymous, April 14, 2000

Well, according to the test my old roomate JayMones is the most important person in my life (although, like some others, he didn't enter my dreamhouse); I deal so passively with my raccoon-sized problems that they tend to just look at me for a minute, eat a leaf or two and walk away. I'm probably so passive because I only have a small one-person cabin-sized desire to overcome them. Luckily I am hard-bread and a dog style happy, even if my relationship with the most important person in my life is green and plastic and gracked and I throw it away. All of this doesn't matter because my stream sized sex drive only gets my ankles wet.

I don't suppose it's possible that I talked to JayMones on the phone last night and had his card still in my jacket pocket before I took the test, or that Kathleen just sent me a picture of a raccoon, or I don't imagine gigantic palaces in the middle of the woods, and I tend to picture the inside of a wood cabin the way I think the inside of a wood cabin would look. And only an idiot would believe I bought a bunch of green plastic Solo brand cups for my housewarming party this weekend, and had to clean up a bunch of cracked ones and throw them away at the end of the night. And don't even get me started on ahving grown up near a brook with stepping stones.

-- Anonymous, April 14, 2000

LOL! I had a blast reading all the responses. I don't feel so weird now ;)

I was with my hubby (not surprising since my last walk in the woods was with him), and we saw a bunny that I looked at awhile.(small problems that I ignore in a passive/aggressive way?). My dream house was an old Scottish/Irish castle(no fence) with a huge antique 14 person dining table set with a lace doily and a huge silver vase of fresh flowers (whew!)all set on a persian rug. So I have a huge desire to fix my problems and I'm generally happy I guess. The cup out back was a porcelain teacup that I picked up to protect...hmm does that mean my hubby is fragile and I have to protect him? And I decided to dive in and swim across the lake.

Weird thing is it's all pretty close to accurate. Neat!

-- Anonymous, April 14, 2000