We really need this information, but we promise we'll keep it to ourselves.

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

Answers

Emm - I rationalising this - *deep breaths* - so maybe I fit the profile but I know it's wrong and that's what counts isn't it? Isn't it?? Where's everybody going?

Though I think anyone having a bad day is going to fit the profile. I hope. I think I'm going to fo somewhere and think happy thoughts.

C. Just Stopping By

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

So umm... how bad is 17 out of 20?

}:)

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

Cereal killer, yes, many a bowl of Shredded Wheat his bit the dust at my hands. People killer ? Naaaah, too much like committing suicide ! I scored a nine.

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

They told me to quit my job as a Postal Worker. What the hell is THAT supposed to mean? Are they TRYING to tell me something here??? Don't piss me off today, jheeze... :)

Reloading at The Road Trip

 

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

I got a ten, and they tell me:
Not to worry -- you're not a threat to society. Although a few quirks in your personality may present some challenges in life, those same idiosyncrasies may very well explain the reason your name continues to appear on "A" party lists.

My name was NEVER on ANY "A" party list.
Sob.



-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

13. Apparently I have potential. I wonder if people who score high also do better on the bitch and bastard tests?

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

A nine.

I'm not a threat.

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

I only got a 5.

I guess they're talking about serial killers of people and not of rodents, then, huh?

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

11. As in these amps go to.

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

7. No danger here -- unless I lose my temper.

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

I scored 11... SCORES 11 - 15 We're not going to label you borderline, but the Death Row staff would sleep better at night knowing the word "psychotherapy" is part of your vocabulary.

Should I really be teaching small children ;-)

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

Jennifer, there's a difference between serial killing and genocide. Anyway, I got a 12.

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

Actually, Colin, what I do is much more like serial killing than genocide. The number of victims is relatively small, and they are carefully chosen for their special characteristics. The killings take place in a highly ritualized, stereotyped manner, and after the deaths, the animals' bodies are typically subjected to desecration where their organs are harvested or otherwise analyzed. Frequently, the bodies are kept in the freezer for months for future analysis.

(For anyone who doesn't know, I'm a biology researcher who sometimes works with mouse models of disease. I don't just kill animals for fun or anything.)

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

SCORES 11 - 15 We're not going to label you borderline, but the Death Row staff would sleep better at night knowing the word "psychotherapy" is part of your vocabulary.

...but it was 11, so pretty close to the "A" party list catagory...

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

I scored 10, which I guess is mid-range. I was a little confused by the "slightly above average IQ" question, though. Does that mean that people with IQs that are WAY above average DON'T fit the serial killer profile?

In other serial killer news, I was listening to talk radio last night and the guy was interviewing a woman who used to work with Ted Bundy at the crisis call-in center in Seattle. She said he seemed like a perfectly nice guy. (Isn't that always the way?)

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

I scored a 6. Not a threat.

So where are those A-List parties I'm supposed to be getting invited to????


-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

I scored an 8.

SCORES 6 - 10: Not to worry -- you're not a threat to society. Although a few quirks in your personality may present some challenges in life, those same idiosyncrasies may very well explain the reason your name continues to appear on "A" party lists.

Lists, schmists! I don't need to be placed on "A" party lists. I'm better than all of those people! They're all just jealous of me and my superior intellect! Well, I'll show them. I'll show them all.

Where is my Glock? Better yet, a Smith and Wesson rifle will do nicely.

Wait a minute, this isn't the mass murderer test, is it?

Never mind.

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

I scored 11. I'm so proud.

"We're not going to label you borderline, but the Death Row staff would sleep better at night knowing the word "psychotherapy" is part of your vocabulary."

Best not to piss me off, hmm? It's probably just carry-over from the past three years of sublimating everything from irritation to blind rage with Mr. Wonderful. It'll pass, eventually.

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

Oh noooo! I was really hoping that loads of people would score high. So I could happilyily tell myself the test meant nothing. I scored 17. Jeffery Dahmler was mentioned. Eeek!

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

I got a 13. Fear me.

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

Just an 8.

I wouldn't go to an "A" list party even if I were invited.

So there.

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

what the heck is this? My boyfriend got a 14, and I got a 15. I demand a recount!

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

I got a 13.. but I also scored a 49% on the bitch test..

I think I'm sensing a theme.

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

I got 9

And if I were ever invited to an 'A' list party, I would kill myself. And everyone else there too, and their famlilies.. their friends.. kill them alll..

Oh. Excuse me. Where was I..?

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

I got a 17.

Not to upset your day -- but we're concerned. It might just be sheer coincidence or simply one of life's naughty little pranks that has placed you in the same profile category as Ted Bundy, Albert DeSalvo and Jeffrey Dahlmer. Heck, what do we know? However, we do recommend that if you are currently employed by the U.S. Postal Service, it may be the perfect time to consider a career change?

Great. Well, there goes my ambition to be a postal worker.

-Meghan

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

I scored nine, in the upper limits of the "A"-list party invitations category. Not, of course, that I get invited to any "A"-list parties. And pretty soon they're gonna pay for that oversight

Tonight We Sleep In Separate Ditchesdoesn't the name of my site take on more sinister connotations after this serial killer quiz?

-- Anonymous, March 22, 2000

I got a 9. I feel so freaking average. :P

By the way Jan, most serial killers have extremely high IQs. It's that whole "thin line between genius and insanity" philosophy. I once had a roommate that worried me. Very smart, but very quirky. I think she'd be up around the 18-19 area. Boy am I glad that didn't last very long! :)

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

Thirteen.

Although, I've gotta say that I wasn't sure how to interpret "Are you relieved that you have never suffered from periodic or chronic headaches?" I mean, it's not a problem I've had, but it's also not something I've thought about enough to feel relieved.

And then there's "Is your IQ slightly above average?" What if it's way above average? Do you answer "yes" or "no"?

And what's an "eating problem"? I don't eat very much, so my grandmother would probably have me answer "yes," but it doesn't seem like a real problem to me...

I have, however, started a fire in an uncoventional place, it's true. It was in eighth grade, at the science fair, and I immolated a model of the Space Shuttle three times, as part of an exhibit on reasons why the Challenger might have blown up. But, hey, is that really so abnormal?

(Umm, maybe don't answer that.)

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

Right behind you Jana -- I'm a 12 but only 42% bitch :( Oh well.

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

Ok, I already told you I got a 15. I just took the bitch test. 61%! (My brother told me he thought it was more like 98%.) Bastard test...54%. Oh well, I guess I'm being too good.

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

And then there's "Is your IQ slightly above average?" What if it's way above average? Do you answer "yes" or "no"?

If you have to ask, it isn't way above average. Heh. (I assume your average serial killer has an IQ slightly above average, so you get a point if yours is.)

I got 13 (no, not my IQ!), but I'm sure if I study I can score higher next time. (And Beth scored way high without the point for being male? I'm scared.)

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

Stinj only got 10 points. Which means Stinj wouldn't even harm a dog.

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

I scored fairly conservative really.A 14.I will let you know where to send contributions for ammo,when I pass the postal exam.Gotta get a bigger freezer too.

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

I scored a 13, but they didn't ask whether or not I had a wall of photos of all the men in my neighborhood that have brown eyes, short straight brown hair and goatees, and are at least 6 feet tall. I am sure I would have done better if that had been on the test. I love those men, I know they love me. I need a backyard. If I can't have them, no one can. Oh, wait. Did I say that out loud?

-- Anonymous, March 23, 2000

Hmmmm... I scored a 14, then on later forethought and deeper introspection (penalize me for going to a Psychotherapist!), I scored a 17. I'm really concerned now. Is THAT why I was stalking my last boyfriend, and the one before that, and the one before that! Ooooh, creepy.

But I'm all better now (then why do you have a copy of 'Exquisite Corpse' by Poppy Z. Br

-- Anonymous, March 26, 2000

That test really misses the essence of truly scary people, though. Sure, I have a temper and I once burned my diary in a waste basket because I had figured out my mom was reading it. And under stress I might grab a parking lot attendant and shake him once or twice for losing my car keys (no charges were ever filed, though; please remember that). But that makes me an assh*le, not a serial killer. I think my score of 14 was too high, and I want a recount.

-- Anonymous, March 26, 2000

http://www.editionnine.deathrowbook.com/noflash/nf_sertest.htm?

I got a 4. (Sounds like Charlie Brown: "I got a rock!")

I didn't think I was a danger to society or anything, but that still seems a bit on the low side. *shrug*

-- Anonymous, March 29, 2000

I've taken a couple of checklist tests in books done by former FBI profilers... except for cruelty to animals-- I'm always kind to small cuddly pettable things --I seem to fit dead on... Which scares me majorly... Especially since I own a substantial number of edged and projectile weapons. Still, if you haven't *done* anything by the end of your thirties, you're pretty much safe... or so I hope... And in a paranoid, skittish world, I just don't need girl humans thinking I'm a potential serial killer...

-- Anonymous, March 29, 2000

I got a 17. I think this test is right on the money. I'm worried that I'll hurt someone...But Shhhh, don't tell anyone that.

-- Anonymous, March 01, 2001