Write your own love poems here.

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2000

Answers

for my new husband- we cancelled valentine's day this year because we really don't need it (and we can't afford it) but i thought it was funny that your dad gave you money to take me out to dinner and we went to the place we tried to go last year, but you got arrested on the way- remember that?

there wasn't an air of love at the resturant last night, and i swear we were the ONLY married couple, but it didn't really matter because we just made fun of all the sorority sluts parading their goods in tight, nasty dresses and you told me the sweetest thing: you really don't mind i've stopped shaving my armpits.

i love you, and hope we can spend tonight at the grocery store and laugh at college undergrads sorting through boxes of chocolate with an exasperated expression on their faces...

can we watch "clambake," too? i love you.

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2000

My crush on you would have taken the wind out of a lesser 7th grader.

Sorry I had to roll your house. You should have not turned out to be the ass of the century.

Now I'm a writer and you're a page at the library and a page I've torn out of the story of my life.

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2000

Baby, you don't have to be sexy all the time to make me love you.

There are a million non-typical ways to make me want you.

You can rub my shoulders and lick my earlobes if you really feel you must,

But taking the dog for a walk at 5:00 a.m. so I don't have to is what really stirs up my lust.

You can whisper sweet nothings, and cast me your naughty glance, But after you clean the litter box and take out the garbage is when you'll really get your chance.

I'm glad you like the dinner I made, and I'm glad it made you randy, But don't you think having sex while helping me do the dishes would be really handy?

When you set a seductive scene, with candles and body oils, it's great,

But if you don't stop throwing your dirty clothes on the floor, you're going to have to just masterbate.

Happy Valentine's Day!!!!!

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2000

Remember that time we played in the snow?
That time we swam in the summer?
The love we made on the forest floor
And all the kisses in between?

Well, I'm going to Albertson's. Do you need anything?

Who am I
To say
You need to shave
You know... over there?
I think it's fine. No, really. I mean, only if you want to.
I love you, baby
"Baby Sasquatch," I mumble to myself

O.

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2000

I'll contribute....

I want to kill your roaches. I want to scrub your toilets. I want to argue with you about too-flowery wallpaper.

I want to pace the floor with you waiting for our daughter to come home. I want to pace the floor with you waiting for our daughter to deliver. I want to pace the floor with you.

I want to feather our empty nest with my junk sculpture And bad oil paintings. I want to share tea and clip coupons. I want to bicker with you about little things. ("Leave me alone woman! I *like* these socks!") And I want to love you through the big things.

I look forward to a most ordinary life Lived in extraordinary joy.

With you.

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2000

"baby sasquatch"!!! ha! Omar, that is too much!!

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2000

you love me? that's rich. i saw everything, all your little indiscretions. you're busted. you loser. just try and tell me it wasn't you who tried to break up my friend and her boyfriend. just try and tell me it wasn't you who switched my birth control with sugar pills. just tell me it wasn't you who got brainwashed by the evil Stefano and then slept with my best friend. oh wait. my bad. it actually wasn't you. that was on Days of our Lives. sorry. um, I love you, honey. honey?

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2000

I yanked this off Amazon e-cards because I thought it was so rad. Just had to share!

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2000

*cue dramatic music*

*adjust beret*

>ahem<

"You were happier with me than you'd ever been, you said, and you were sadder than sad before you met me. And whatever Hallmark holiday came along, you knew I'd appreciate whatever you'd get me.

You said you loved spending days on end just doing lots of nothing with me. Now you say I'm your dear, dear, DEAR friend But that's all that I'll ever be.

*You* pushed for monogamous dating then asked me about marriage (and more) You mentioned religious conversion (And this was only Month #4.)

I thought you were smart, kind, and handsome, your good taste and mine were in synch. You said I was pretty, you said I was witty, then you said...goodbye (I think).

See, you invite yourself out where I'm going You have but two friends--so share mine! You said I was one in a trillion But you're alone, and so am I, Valentine.

Midlife crises and depression are irksome But the push-pull / stop-go / yes-no worse. Please make up your mind what you want, dear, Or I'm going to lose it and curse.

I still think you're a good man, all in all But I don't understand your excuse "You're perfect and I don't deserve you" is no reason to set someone loose.

Oh well...er... Fuck it.

Prozac, damn it! Take the damn pills! GodDAMN.

Argh.

This happy upbeat verse is brought to you by every commercial entity you can imagine. If you can eat it, wear it, drink it or use it to make the single women in your office feel like swamp muck, then we make it and we have sponsored this poem.

You're welcome.

(Happy Heart Day, all.)

:)

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2000

11 years together 9 years living in sin 1 year officially engaged I love you very much sweetheart. Now shit or get off the pot.

-- Anonymous, February 14, 2000

Sunday Morning, 2:00 a.m.

A siren wakes me.
Dopplering down Riverside Drive towards the hospital,
A lonely mournful night sound,
Echoing threats of pain, sorrow, hurt, sadness, fear.
You murmer sleepy concern and
I snuggle closer to the warmth of your body in the dark.
Return to sleep, my love, return to sleep.

---

I wrote that more than 20 years ago, before Nancy and I married (in fact before we were living together, when we only saw each other on weekends), but you didn't say they had to be new poems, right?
Jim

-- Anonymous, February 15, 2000

Chop Chop Master Onion
You make me cry when you rap.
Especially when
I'm trying to use the Harmonizer.
You should be banned from every poem.
Even this one.


-- Anonymous, February 15, 2000

Valentine, You're such a romantic.

We scrapped the steak and lobster dinner by candlelight. (The lobster wasn't thawed yet.) And instead, you inhaled leftover chili, sitting in your underwear in front of the TV.

Then later, you sprawled across the bed, devouring the dripping-with-sex pages of Men's Health magazine and ignoring conversational (or other) overtures from me. So I watched the 10 o'clock Fox news out of sheer boredom.

Finally, you rolled over (your back to me) to sleep.

It said on the card that came with the roses that this was "our first 'real' Valentine's Day together" and you hoped there would be many more.

You know, I must really love you... because, crazy me, I hope there are, too.

-- Anonymous, February 15, 2000

ode to my favorite ex-boyfriend

So heres the deal... you get the honor of being the one i picture doing everyday things with its you i hear myself babbling to about the love poems i read on the internet the day after valentines day

its you i actually MAILED a card to stating that "i would like to abduct your body"

and its you i told that i didnt really care if you sent me anything for valentines day.

and i meant it.

did we break up?

-- Anonymous, February 15, 2000

For Ellin...

Thank you for being my wife. Thank you for laughing when it isn't funny. Thank you for not making me wear a suit to weddings. Thank you for understanding about your grandmother's vase. Thank you for moving to the other side of the country for my job. Thank you for accepting me as I am and not trying to change a thing. Thank you for all the hugs, kisses and the thousands of spaghetii dinners.

And thank you for Emma.

Scott

-- Anonymous, February 18, 2000

Scott,

You're welcome. I never liked that vase, by the way.

Ellin

-- Anonymous, February 18, 2000