I hate when people say "Birfday" or "Irregardless."

Flammable and inflammable are not opposites.

What other misuses of grammar/definition drive you nuts?

Cuz' y'all learn things good.

-- Anonymous, December 21, 1999

Answers

when people say simUlar...and not similar.

and lititchure instead of literature.

ideal when they mean idea.

I hate it.

-- Anonymous, December 21, 1999

It always bothered me when someone said they had to "itch". They HAD an itch, and wanted to scratch it, but they said they were "itching" it.

And people who say "Germy" instead of "Jeremy".

And those folks who think that they're going to Woolworth and Wal-Marts. Ugh!

-- Anonymous, December 21, 1999

I hate it when people "axe" me a question

Also, "New-cular" instead of "nuclear" pisses me off.

And don't even get me started on ways to mispronounce my last name...
o.

-- Anonymous, December 21, 1999

The misuse of myself. "Please send the email to myself." You're trying to sound important, and instead, you sound stupid.

-- Anonymous, December 21, 1999

Pamie got my main one first off- supposably. I hate that. Drives me absolutely nuts. "Irregardless" and "could care less" are second, and the rest of them (like "mirra" for "mirror") don't bother me so much.

-- Anonymous, December 21, 1999

I have an entirely personal dislike of the word 'especially,' but find myself doubly annoyed when people pronounce it 'egg-specially' or 'eck-specially.'

This may be associated today with that general holiday crankiness Pamie describes so well, AJ

-- Anonymous, December 21, 1999

How about when people say they have to go get their hairs cut? That drives me crazy. Ok yeah, so you have multiple strands of hair that will be attacked by scissors. But you use the singular. Hair. Get your hair cut. Grr.

Another is "spicket" for spigot. I remember having an argument with a girl over this once. I asked her to spell it for me and that's the spelling she gave.

I'm sure I've got more, living in a nice little hickville town, but I'll have to get back to you. ;)

-- Anonymous, December 21, 1999

"Irregardless" and "could care less" (and all its derivatives like "could give a shit") are my biggies. Once I got into a pointless argument with a guy at a bar when he said "I could care less if Dallas wins or not." And I said "No, you couldn't care less." And he said "Yes I could!" like I was the one making it sound like he cared more than he wanted to.

Of course, I am an editor and do this for a living so, I usually have to turn a blind eye to such mistakes when made outside the workplace or I would be correcting people constantly. Oh, another one I hate is the use of "can not" for the word "cannot." It's one word, Foley's Department Store Sign Makers, whoever you are! Your sign about "This elevator can not be used by patrons," that's all wrong!

-- Anonymous, December 21, 1999

I hate it when people don't understand contractions. "It's" and "its" are *not* interchangeable. Think about it. "It's" = "it is." This is not difficult. Argh! I cringe every time I read something like "The dog wagged it's tail." that's written by someone over the age of 10. Say this out loud to yourself: "The dog wagged it is tail." Argh! Argh!

You're == You are. You're != your. "Your going to the store later."??? "Your" not goin' anywhere, bucko, 'cept back to grammar school.

I dunno. Maybe I'm just an anal grammar witch. :D But I hate reading press releases that our supposedly literate PR people write and consistantly think to myself, "God, *I* could have written this better, and I'm just the lowly engineer!" ;)

Whine whine whine. :)

-- Anonymous, December 21, 1999

AHK! this has been pet peeve since like the begining of time. i once broke up with a guy because he said "selth" as in mySelth. argh! yourSelth, mySelth.. its SELF moron!!!! mySELF, yourSELF!!! he also used to say " then, all the sudden" and that one bugged too.. i hear that a lot. maybe I am the one who is mistaken but i believe it to be "all of a sudden" there are many more, but those really bug.

-- Anonymous, December 21, 1999

Whoa, y'all've hit on a lot of my faves! (You like my use of a non- word: y'all've?)

I have some biggies lately. One of them is one I posted under "what makes you cranky":

It makes me insane when people use "would've" instead of "had". As in, "If I would've known..." It's "If I HAD known..."

Something can't be different THAN something else. It's different FROM. No exceptions.

I'm frustrated at the lack of use of the subjunctive, but I'm afraid I'm alone in this one. As in, "If he was going to the store..." should be "If he WERE going to the store..." Unfortunately this verb tense is dying from disuse, except in other languages. This makes me sad.

"Alright" is not a word. The correct way to write it is "all right" - - two words.

"But yet" and "also too" are the most ridiculously redundant overused phrases that ever made my skin crawl.

"It's" vs "its". "It's" means "it is". "Its" is the possessive of "it". This is actually in a novel I'm reading. It's also full of run-on sentences. Bad enough that the author can't write, but her editor should also be taken out and shot. (Shotten? Ha.) (FYI, it's the book about Brandon Teena, "All She Wanted" -- the woman/man who "Boys Don't Cry" is about.)

Using "'s" as plural. If I see one more sign advertising "fajita's" I'm going to scream.

Using "that" when you mean "who". I am guilty of this one myself sometimes. Example: "a guy that goes to college" should be "a guy WHO goes to college."

Believe it or not, I have more (including many already mentioned here), but I'm making myself tired and cranky just thinking about it!

By the way, if you're looking for a good basic book on grammar -- if you really care about cleaning up your language -- check out "Nitty- Gritty Grammar: A Not-So-Serious Guide to Clear Communication" by Judith Pinkerton Josephson and Edith Hope Fine (amazon: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0898159660/qid=945820847/sr=1- 1/002-4869137-6295860). I don't necessarily agree with every little thing they say, but they have good ways to remember the grammatical rules that give people the most trouble.

I should've been an English teacher.

By the way, I'm never sure when you have quotation marks around a single word where the other punctuation goes. My "Little, Brown Handbook," "Handbook of Usage," and Strunk & White are all in the next room. You guys will understand, right?

-- Anonymous, December 21, 1999

Your/you're

Is instead of are or vice versa. UGHHHHH!!! My chem teacher puts all quizzes and tests on the computer and I got to a question and it had are instead of is and I couldn't answer the question it was so frustrating!!

I also have some friends who say "liberry"

-- Anonymous, December 21, 1999

...i could care less about all this...supposably other folks are bothered by grammar mistakes...but not myself...i guess its a ellipses journal thing...

[your going to kill me, ain't yah?]...irregardless, i'll still be back to read you're site tomorrow...

signed,
a panicked writer who just did a search of her entire journal to see if she used "nonplussed" incorrectly

ps. actually it pained me to do the above...though i recognize that i'm prone to error and catch mistakes on my own site all the time...i will say that my biggest peeve is the misuse of the word "apropos"...more people should use this site: http://www.m-w.com/ --- go there, my friends....go there often...

-- Anonymous, December 21, 1999

I hate seeing congratulations spelled as conGRADulations! This isn't relegated to signs around commencement time either... argh!

I also hate the misuse of quotations. I always see ads that say things like:

"Thanks" to the XYZ Softball Team!

or

"Sale"

I always imagine Chris Farley's character on SNL saying these things in an overly sarcastic manner and doing the little quotation finger thingy.

-- Anonymous, December 21, 1999

Maybe this bothers me so much because my birthday (birfday?) is right around then, but haven't we all seen that around Easter time, everything that can possibly be spelled by adding the word 'egg' is?
Egg-ceptional.
Egg-citing.
Egg-strordinary. (two points there - spelled it wrong and added 'egg'.)
It annoys the piss out of me. I don't like eggs and don't enjoy being reminded of their presence.
Another thing is that damned online shorthand. "y iz it that u ppl get mad 4 us doing this"
Arrrggghhh.....
Thanks for the ranting space, Pamie. I needed it.

-- Anonymous, December 21, 1999

There is no such thing as "first annual". An event is not annual until it happens for the second year in a row. The first time an event happens is the "inaugural", the "premiere", or just the "first". "First annual" is becoming more and more the norm and I despair (sp? sorry, I am in a hurry and don't have time to look it up) of ever ridding the world of it.

-- Anonymous, December 21, 1999

"A lot" is two words. A lot. A lot. There is no "alot." Thank you.

-- Anonymous, December 21, 1999

EGGZIT.

You know. The way you leave a building. Through the EGGZIT.

Oh, right. No one understood me because it's actually EXIT. With an X.

Can you tell that drives me insane? People don't only do it at Easter, either. They do it YEAR ROUND. Ugh.

-- Anonymous, December 21, 1999

I loathe it when people say "ambliance" instead of ambulance.

True story: I was working in the computer lab at school, fixing a computer when I hear beside me:

Girl (to guy beside her): How do you spell 'specific'? Guy: what? Girl: specific....like the ocean

I'm not lying either....I almost collapsed on the spot.

Ceit Fenix

-- Anonymous, December 21, 1999

There's a word that bugs the hell out of me. For some ungodly reason, everyone that I know says the word "across" as "accrost".

There's no "t" on the end, folks. "Accrost" isn't even a word. The closest that you're going to get is "accost", and I promise, those two have nothing in common.

Also, what's with people who don't get contractions? I mean, is it that hard to understand? The little apostrophe means that it's taking the place of some letters. Maybe one, maybe more. But letters. Thus, saying "The cat wanted it's toy back" doesn't make any sense. At all. Honest.
Oh, and as long as I'm at it. What's with people who feel that everything needs to be written in a bizarre code? For them, the previous sentance looks like "WhAT's w PpL wHo fEEl evRyThng nEedS to B n sOMe BiZarRE cOdE?"

I just don't get it.

-Meghan

-- Anonymous, December 21, 1999

I'm baaaaaaaaaack.

My 6th grade teacher would ALWAYS say 'pacific' when he meant specific.

I finally called his ass on it after much discussion of the two words with my parents. lol I asked him how to spell it. Get this......he spelled it correctly.

ummm.....ok, Mr. Stormer.....and you get all crazy with the red pen when I use the phrase "stay the night" in a essay about a slumber party but you wanna say 'pacific'.

whatever

-- Anonymous, December 21, 1999

American English drives me insane. Watching people say things like "doan" for "don't" and "aks" for ask can put me into tears. I don't watch daytime television because I cannot figure out what those people are saying..."talk to the hand" and "doan go there" rank up there as most painful, and usage of "aint" makes my ears bleed.

"You aint all dat, girfreen"

-- Anonymous, December 21, 1999

This is great! I thought that perhaps I was the only one out there anal enough to be upset about proper grammar because it seems like the people I surround myself with don't seem to care much at all. In fact, I am often worried that one more correction may cost me a friendship at times, but I can't help myself. I have to do it. I justify it by thinking that if I don't correct the person, he or she may possibly go around the rest of their life using the phrase or word incorrectly.

Now, I am so far from perfect and about the worst speller you could meet but there are just some things that kill me each time I hear them said. For example, as a soon to be elementary school teacher I am often surrounded by little people who like to use the phrase "peed (i don't even know if that is spelled right) my pants". I HATE IT! Maybe I am wrong here, and please correct me if you know better, but my grammar lessons taught me that it is "peed in my pants". You're not peeing your pants, that is not what is coming out. You quite possibly are peeing ON or IN your pants, but certainly not peeing out your pants. Another great substitution here is shit, but that doesn't usually come from the young mouths I teach.

Another thing that I can't stand is something I hear my aunt and cousins say all the time. It is the misuse of the word bring in place of take. As in, "I am going to bring her to the mall". No, you are going to drive her to the mall or even take her to the mall. It just sounds wrong to me. Maybe it's not.

There are several others that bother me but I'll leave those for another time. Oh one last one,"crik" for "creek", need I say more? Boy is there a lot of pressure here to type grammatically or what?

-Melissa

-- Anonymous, December 21, 1999

FAQ's.

Microsoft Word (I should know better) actually suggested this as a correction for "FAQs." Of course, FAQs, itself, could probably be replaced by the simpler "FAQ."

Oh yeah, and I also hate when people write or say, "for all intensive purposes." That's intents and purpose

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

At work I deal with many people who are speech impaired, so I'm slowly building a resistance to those kinds of errors. For example, I get booking requests to go to the "libary" or the "grossy store." Sometimes I'm just happy that I understand WHAT they're trying to say. =)

And I know that when I talk, I throw in lots of "likes." I'm trying to break myself of this habit, but it's slow going. =/

With the written word, however, I have a lot of pet peeves. "Alright" for "All right." "It's" and "its" confused. "Their" and "there" and "they're" confused. "Too" and "to" confused.

But I figure that me complaining about it won't get me very far. ;)

she's actual size

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

I'm pretty tolerant when it comes to pronunciations- I am from Alabama, after all. I've heard 'Bermuda' pronounced as 'Bermooda', 'Hawaii' as 'Hay-wah-yuh', 'column' as 'colyum' and countless other atrocities. What still gets me, and this may be due to the fact that it's constantly said by my stepmother (who is a judge, mind you), is salmon. It's a silent 'L', for the love of God! You should hear her order Mexican food.

The other day I heard an ad on TV (I don't remember any specifics)that ended a sentence with a preposition. Not only was it incorrect, it just sounded horribly awkward. I'm surprised the guy doing the voice over never said anything...or the sound engineer...or somebody! This was a national ad! I guess they know their target audience; as someone else has mentioned, daytime TV is not exactly the last bastion of good grammar. It's hard to watch Springer anymore. I can take lesbian sisters cheating on their husbands with each other while one works her way through wrestling school by being a stripper, but when one of them pipes up in defense of their love affair , "Incest are best!", well, that's just plain wrong.

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

This is heading down a side street but I hate those people that constantly say "to make a long story short" at least 5 times during the course of the 20 minute story. 20 minutes is LONG and if you'd stop saying "to make a long story short" you'd probably cut it down by 5 minutes. Besides, I'm listening. I'm not running away. You don't have to cut it down. The time to say "to make a long story short" is when you're staring at the back of my head as I'm walking away from you.

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

Thank you, everyone, for validating the feelings of stress I have been dealing with for years. You have touched on nearly all of my verbal pet peeves, and I am so happy to know that I am not the only one driven crazy by commonly misused words and phrases. I have to bite my tongue SO MUCH, because I don't want to be the bitch who is constantly correcting my friends, loved ones and co-workers, but it's so difficult to hold back! The worst of all, though, is when I make the mistakes myself. Sometimes I go back and read my online journal, and have been known to yelp out loud when I see a mistake that I would normally have a coronary over when someone else does it. Even though I know no one is reading it, I still turn red and hot-cheeked, and rush over to the edit screen to fix it.

Of course, I am famous for making up words, adding hyphens, and adding endings that don't belong, like "-ish" or "-esque", when I can't quite come up with the right word. I'm sure I drive people nuts when I do that. Feel free to flog me if you are annoyed by this habit of mine, because I truly would understand.

I also get a fire in my belly when I hear someone add an 'r' to a word that shouldn't have one. I once worked with a woman who said, every week, "Well, I have to do the warsh tonight!" Oh, really, that's nice. WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY?? I finally figured out that was her term for doing the laundry, and I wanted so badly to yell, "You mean you need to wash the clothes?" but I restrained myself. The other thing I didn't see posted here was when people just say 'needs' instead of 'needs to be'. It seems to only be people from the North who say it, so maybe it was a commonly taught practice that never made it to the South, but I have often heard, "My baby needs fed." or "My tires need changed." You know, it actually made my nerves jump when I typed that out, because it's just so, so...WRONG!!!

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

Wait, I seem to remember that using an apostrophe after an acronym to denote a plural is proper ... so FAQ's would be preferable to FAQs, except that the term is already plural. But adding the "s" makes it work better in a sentence, so that one doesn't bug me, except to the extent that the acronym itself bothers me.

Normally, though, I'm right with you on the issue of using an apostrophe to make a plural. But I do think it's technically correct with an acronym or a number. (For instance, "We need to get these W-2's out by tomorrow, or the VIP's are going to fire us.")

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

Okay, this makes me proud to be a part of the human race. Irregardless is now considered a word. Here is their reasoning.(Mirriam-Webster)"We are merely reporters of the language"..basically a cute way of saying that so many ignorant dopes use the word 'irregardless' that they decided that it just needs to become a word...so they put it in the dictionary. Just kill me now.

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

Often. The 't' is silent. It's a small thing, but it does my head in. Also 'should of/could of/would of' instead of 'should have/could have/would have'.

There are a lot of other ones as well, but I can't for the life of me think of them.

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

Oh I LOVE you all. You have warmed the cockles of my heart. Every single one of the above peeves is on my list of things that drive me nutso. Here's another: "eck cetra" instead of "et cetera." My man Morrissey is guilty of this one...

And in the midst of life we are in death ek cetra ek cetra ek cetra

EE

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

Most of my pet peeves regarding grammar and syntax have been covered here. I can ignore many of them in email or other such casual use, but I get very annoyed at seeing them in print that supposedly has been reviewed and edited.

Nobody has mentioned the misuse of "complimentary" by restaurants. Complimentary means "given free a courtesy or favor." Thus, if I am a frequent patron, I might be rewarded with a free drink ("on the house"). One time I was lingering after a meal with a few friends when the manager asked if we would mind moving to a different table so that they could seat a large group of people who had just come in; our waitress then brought a complimentary pot of coffee to our new table. However, when a menu states "All Dinners Include Complimentary Glass of Wine" it is wrong. The glass of wine may be included in the price of the meal, but it is not complimentary. (By the way, that glass of wine may serve to "fill out or complete" the meal, but if the menu says it is a "complementary glass of wine" I would just suspect a further error in word choice.)

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

Beth,

We're both sort of right. According to my Chicago Manual of Style, it's preferable to form the plural of an acronym by adding the s alone. The exception to the rule is when the acronym in question has more than one period. So FAQs or F.A.Q.'s

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

I was a financial officer for several years. People around me would refer to the "physical year." It's FISCAL year, please.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who cares about this stuff.

Tracey

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

i absolutely hate it when people say they are "citizens" of a city or community. they're not! all of us are "citizens" of the United States. we're "residents" of the communities we live in. i also hate it when folks mispell y'all (i see it ya'll all of the time!). it's bad enough "y'all" exists in the first place!

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

When, on their web pages, people use "sight" instead of "site."

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

I can't stand it when people say "death" instead of "deaf". When I worked in a vet's office, the receptionist wrote "DEATH" next to one of the pet owners' names on the list of appointments. I looked at it and asked one of the other girls there if this guy was dead. She said, "No, he's death." I looked at her blankly. "He can't hear." Ohhhh...

I have a friend who will say something under her breath, and I'll ask her to repeat herself and she'll say, "Oh, I'm just talking out loud." I know she means "I'm thinking out loud" but I always have to stop myself from correcting her.

Oh, and when she means "Heaven forbid," she'll say, "Heavens to Betsy." Arrggh...

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

People who use 'momentarily' to mean 'IN just a moment' rather than 'FOR just a moment.' It's okay for the pilot to say "We'll be taking off momentarily," because you really do want to be taking off just for a moment--after that, you want to be flying. It's when they say "we'll be in the air momentarily" that I begin to worry.

Decimate doesn't mean to completely destroy something, people. It means to destroy either 10% or 90% of something, I don't remember which, but it DOES NOT mean all.

I hate when solicitors don't know what they are. I have a sign on my door which reads "No solicitors. Friends welcome." I used to have a sign up defining solicitors (one who solicits; solicit: to seek to obtain by entreaty or petition), but it turns out that not reading signs goes hand-in-hand with not knowing what people do for a living. I got one guy who said he wasn't soliciting; I asked to see his solicitor's license and he pulled it out... you should have seen the look on his face. Priceless.

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

Now, Megan, don't go disparaging our use of the word "y'all". As I have been quoted many times as saying, "What other plural for 'you' is there than 'y'all'?" You must not be from the South if that bothers you. :) Of course, technically the plural for "you" IS "you", and that can get downright confusing. "Y'all" just helps keep things clear, and isn't that what language is supposed to be about?

What I really hate is when Northerners come down here and see something that says "y'all" on it, then proceed to pronounce it "you all". Like a sign someone has cutesily (I'm coining words now) put up that says "Howdy y'all!" and they read it aloud: "Howdy you all!" NO ONE ACTUALLY SAYS "YOU ALL". And of course, isn't "y'all" better than "you guys"? I'm not a guy, so I really hate being lumped into a "you guys". But even that is better than "y'ens" (or however it may be spelled) that I heard come out of the mouth of someone I once knew from Pittsburgh. What the hell is that???

And, of course, y'all know what the plural of "y'all" is, right? You don't? It's "all y'all"!

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

Ooh! I'd been trying to remember that "For all intensive purposes" thing for a week now! I had an old boyfriend (the "birfday" one, for those of you keeping track) that also said "For all intensive purposes" and then ARGUED with me that "Intents and purposes" didn't make sense.

Word on the weird use of quotation marks. Which brings up the subject of "Weird." E before I. "Weird" is spelled weird.

I used to pronounce "escape" as "excape" until someone asked me why I broke up with my cape.

Two things does not make a "few." Three is hardly a "bunch." And there is no such thing as a "couple-few."

If you've ever said the word "guesstimate:" shut. up.

Don't make web jokes if you don't know what you're doing. Don't make some sort of "www.that's great.com" joke if you don't know why that's impossible.

I don't want to hear about the "willennium" the "milloonnium" or the "mile-ennium."

"Good" is an adjective. "Well" is an adverb. You write well. You feel good.

And you people out of the South do not have to suffer with people "fixin' ta" do things. Simply maddening.

People who pronounce "Get you" as "gitchoo" or "Don't you" as "Don-choo." The Red Hot Chili Peppers have this problem.

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

But but but Pamie - can't you also feel well? Because I'm not feeling very well right now.

Do you know, I have never actually learned the rules of grammar. I was never taught them at school. However, I know what sounds right and wrong, although I'd never in a million years be able to tell you why. Also, I read a lot, which seems to help.

Am I the only one who hates it when an author fails to capitalise? (or when anybody does this?) And how about when an author writes speech without speechmarks?

One other grammatical thing I hate is the seemingly unlimited number of people who don't understand when they should use 'it's' and when they should use 'its'. It's is only to be used as a shortened form of 'it is', OK? Please tell all billboard writers this.

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

I think I've died and gone to Grammarchick Heaven. Thank you all for venting for me...but I've got another to add: when did "athlete" grow an extra syllable? If I hear one more sportscaster/commentator/fan/breathing person say "ath-uh-leet" I'll scream. It's "ath-leet" you ath-holes!

Thank you! Happy Holidays!

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

Okay, most business slang drives me nuts....I'd just like to highlight my current unfavorites: win-win and paradigm. Augh!!!

Also, "individual" as in "there's an individual at work who...." eek! I know it's technically/gramatically correct, but it bugs me.

And the subjunctive is a personal (annoying) pet peeve. Thank god they managed "If I WERE a Rich Man".

Singular, plural, please make them agree (him, them, her...)

If an individual was to mispronounce a word, and you corrected them (to make him break his paradigm) that would be a win win situation.

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

Just a quick one before I go home and cough all night - when Sinead O'Connor first started getting airplay my father drove my sisters and me absolutely mad by correcting her grammar whenever 'Nothing Compares 2 U' came on ... 'It's with you! WITH!'. He's a nutter.

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

Reverse racism or reverse sexism--shouldn't these be bilaterally symmetric? It shouldn't matter who's getting discriminated against--sexism is sexism and racism is racism.

(gimme a second to put on those fireproof coveralls)

Misuse of it's. Ours theirs hers it's. What's wrong with this picture?

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

i had a three day argument with someone who pronounced subwoofer - subWOOOOfer. We asked all of our friends and they all gave different answers. He kept using "stool" and "pool" and "tool" for his point. I wanted to "shoot" him.

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

People who don't put things in the past tense drive me nuts! There is this woman I know who ALWAYS uses ask in the past tense as ask. "I ask her and she said she didn't know." UGH!

And how about this one? "It's all." It's all what????????

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

What happened to the word 'really'? Everywhere now people say 'real'. As in, I'm feeling real good today. Blagh. You're feeling really good today! Even in advertisements and on TV, it's really people, not real!

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

I remembered another one, thanks to pamie and her "two things do not make a few": "Less than" vs. "fewer than." I go nuts at grocery stores where the signs say: "Express Lane: Less than 15 items." It's FEWER than, you eejits! Here's the rule from "Nitty-Gritty Grammar":

"Use 'fewer' with things you can count: fewer marbles, fewer skyscrapers. Use 'less' with things that can't be counted: less sense, less courage. ... Also use 'less' with time: less than three minutes."

That is my grammar lesson for today.

GrammarGrrl

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

Did anyone mention to and too?

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

Two examples immediately come to mind.

First, I hate when people misuse "leave" and "let." As in, "I'm going to leave the dog come inside the house." Instead of, "I'm going to let the dog come inside the house." The words are not interchangable. Although, I must admit I commit this mistake sometimes.

And, second, anyone who says "Whether or not" is wasting valuable paper and ink, since the lone word "whether" means the same thing.

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

I just finished a technical communications class, and the professor said it is now considered acceptible to start a sentence with AND or BUT. I can't do it! What are they thinking?

He also said that it is acceptible to end a sentence with a preposition, but I'm from Minnesota so I already do that. (Only while speaking though, I know not to write it.)

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

Or the classic:

breathe vs breath lose vs loose

Drives me absolutely bonkers!!!

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

I just remembered a few (hope this meets the numerical qualifications, since the pressure is really on to be accurate) more annoying things I have heard:

Instead of, "She asked me to (take or drive) her to the (place)", I often hear, "She asked me to carry her to the (place)". It's a Southern thing, I suppose, but in spite of how it sounds, there are not hoards of people walking the sidewalks here, carrying other people. They all use cars.

Also, why do people say, "Pull the door to", when they want you to close the door? Another Southern thing?

Oh, and my boss says the word 'anything' about 100 times per day, which would be fine, except that he says 'anythinK', and it drives me bananas. I don't know if I could call it a general pet peeve though, because he is the only one I know who does it. And there is NO WAY I'm correcting him.

I once worked at a collection agency with a girl who pronounced debt WITH the 'b'. She was meaner than hell (hey, there's a misuse of a term...or is it? I'm questioning everything now), so we just all kept letting her do it. She never even caught on when she had to constantly repeat herself, "I'm calling about your past due deBt....your deBt...your DEBBBT!" She never even noticed that we all pronounced it differently, unless she just figured we were all wrong.

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

Oh man... open the floodgates, why don't you?

Here are mine:

There, they're, and their. ARRRGH! We're going over there later. They're going over there later. They're going over there later to wash their cars.

In New England, people don't know how to use the word "with." My ex was always saying things like "I'm done my homework." WITH. You're done WITH your homework. Otherwise intellegent people omitting things like that. Also, obsessive overuse of the word "wicked." I was wicked tired. He's wicked dumb.

Redundancy: PIN number, ATM machine!

And I'm with Robyn on the "sight" "site" thing...

Thetis

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

Now I can't stop!!!

I don't know if it's the same (oooh did I use it right?)but here in Canada we have a debit card system called "Interac". However, every single person seems to call it "Interact" and it pisses me off. Sets my teeth right on edge.

I also hate the Peterborough accent around here "youse guys", "I seen her" *shudder*

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

People who use british spellings (honour, colour) here in the Colonies.

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

ahhh.... I have the opposite problem here: people who use American spelling in Australia. It's night, not nite you tossers!

I also hear the term "peoples" used frequently. That confuses me.... what does it mean? Multiples of people groups? A crowd? People who are too important to be counted under the one set of people? A new sub-group of humans perhaps? Or maybe it's just a phrase refering to the 'in' people and I'll never be cool enough to comprehend it.

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

Megan, 'Nite' isn't correct in the States either.

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

Oooh...ideal instead of idea kills me. Like nails on a chalkboard.

Another thing that grates on me is when people say, "You lucked out." like when you didn't have to take a big final for school or something. I always used to think that lucked out meant your luck ran out.

My mom [and various other people in this wonderful hicktown in which I live] worsh their clothing, rather that washing them. My best friend has a habit of saying 'ambliance', 'neked', and 'orgne' [that is actually orange]. People in southern Indiana cheer "Two points!" which comes out sounding rather like, well..."Taw pons!" Hearing a huge cheer block screaming that at semi state is hilarious.

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

Pronouncing the word "actually" like "Akshally."

Spelling it "sweet" instead of "sweat" (Big in the South, I don't know why).

People asking me if "I know" before they've even asked me anything. "Hey, you know?" No, I don't know, you just got my attention. Now, if they said, "You know what?" then you can respond, "What?" but they don't even want you to respond, because they are just saying "you know" so that they don't have to say "Umm!"

"My car goes funny." Might as well just stick a knitting needle between my toes.

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

Another one that absolutely kills me: 'Have a good one."

Have a good what?!

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

There is no such word as Anyhoo!!!!!!!

Thanks. I feel much better.

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

I once worked with a woman who said these words constantly: somewheres, anywheres, nowheres, and everywheres. Honest to God. She spoke really well except for that. Maybe that's why it drove me completely insane. I couldn't figure out how she could have possibly mastered every other little bit of english grammar, and yet still said those words that way???!! Even now, the memory is like fingers down a blackboard for me...

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

Everything Chickengirl said in her first post and.....

When women use "like" before every sentence. "Like, let's go, I'm late!" Ok, the whole valley girl shit was over in the mid 80's, you can STOP NOW!

People who spell tomorrow - tomarrow. grrrrrrrrr

People who say "warsh" instead of wash. Kill, kill, kill.

Those poor souls who don't know to put two spaces after a sentence. Heck I'd take just one space.

The aforementioned your/you're.

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

alright, coming from Canada (u know way up north where we live in igloos? *rolls eyes*) I live ina little province called nova scotia that noone but fellow maritimers seems to believe exists..I live at one end of the province and go to school at the other. The place where I go to school is close to the island (also known as cape breton) and they have to have (along with newfies) some of the worst grammar problems possible (I should talk!)

The one that gets me the most is beat. People from cape breaton find it absolutely IMPOSSIBLE to pronounce this word correctly, to them it is "bet". "my uncle got bet up the other day" "I bet up the girl cause she was making fun of me" EXCUSE ME PEOPLE, but am i the only one that sees the A in that word!!?

That and boys...it is pronounced byes. *grumbles* sometimes my roomate drives me up the wall with this one.

Another thing that gets me is when people type neways and sumthing instead of anyways and sumthing (although I am guilty of both of these things! *L*) what do i I think im doing saving one letter, its not that much typing time wasted!

Neways just thought I'd add my two cents worth. Merry Christmas to all (people who say xmas bother me! :)

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

Ok, when someone mentioned earlier about a plural "you" I remembered this:

At my old job there was a guy who always made up a plural for "you" when he spoke. As in, "I wanted to tell you..." (You being a plural for the girls in the office.)

He would say, "I wanted to tell yoo-uns..."

AUGH!

she's actual size

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

Just a couple of work-related woes:

It's prostate, not prostrate. That would be a special gland that helps you lie down.

There are words that you can't pronounce without practice. Learn to live with this. If you can't say metastasize, don't worry. Lots of people can't. Just say spread and leave it at that.

-- Anonymous, December 23, 1999

You know what I hate? When people say "correct English" and "incorrect English".

Because there's really no such thing as correct and incorrect spoken English. There's standard and nonstandard English. That's it. If someone speaks differently than (yes, than!) you do, who are you to say that your speech is "right" and theirs is "wrong"? Who are you to say, "That's not a word!"? Because there is no moral, ethical, linguistic, or "logical" basis for claiming your dialect is superior to theirs. It's just different.

I know, I know--your English teacher taught you it's correct. Or you read it in a book. Sure, sure. But where did the teachers and the books get these "rules"? From other teachers and other books, and so on, going back to a few books from the 1500's-1700's written by a few misguided dictionary-makers and other assorted busybodies. Who died and made them God? No one! They made some arbitrary choices, usually guided simply by their own personal preferences, or by the majority use of the time, or else by some faulty analogies made from other languages.

So, the next time you want to "correct" someone else's speech, stop and ask yourself, "Why do I think that's wrong?", and "Why am I correcting it?" If you're correcting them to protect them from other ignorant souls who think someone is an idiot simply because he speaks differently than they do, that's cool. But if you're doing it "just because they're wrong," well, you're just being a big bitch.

There's a time and place for standard English. But, really, as long as people *understand* each other--that's what language's about anyway, communication--what's the big deal?

That's my point of view on spoken English. Spelling's a different story, although I can't really get into why it's different right now. I've got many pet peeves about spelling, and the its/it's distinction is on the top of the list. :) Oh, and when people misspell "y'all", because "y'all" is one of my favorite words. Chickengrrl, thanks for your spirited defense of "y'all"!

Anyway, sorry to rain on y'all's parade. Otherwise, Pamie, I really like your site and your diary! :) And by the way, how's that name pronounced? Because the way it's spelled, I want to pronounce it "pay- me"!

Discussion and flames welcome.

--Jason, ex-"grammar cop" and present linguist

-- Anonymous, December 23, 1999

Oh, and by the way, Atara, your boss didn't make up that plural for "you". "You-uns" is a pretty common word in some parts of the Northeast. You'll also hear "y'uns".

-- Anonymous, December 23, 1999

Several things bother me about grammar:

First -- and I see this most frequently in inter-office memos and Lotus Notes -- "attached please find (whatever attachment)" Attached please find? What -- you're sending me on a damn scavenger hunt? No. How about "I have attached.."

Second -- also seen in memos and Lotus Notes -- "As per your request..." Again, someone is trying to sound important (which suggests to me, almost immediately, that they are *not important.)

Third -- I absolutely detest people who mistake a person's freaking *accent as that person's inability to pronounce things properly. If you get agitated by someone who says "warsh," what about those of us who say "pahk the cah in Havahd Yahd?" It's an *accent, people, a regional, freaking ACCENT. They happen all over this country; it's not just a foreign phenomenon.

Fourth -- people who use 'hopefully' improperly. "Hopefully, he will be here," is not correct unless you are trying to say that he will be hopeful when he is here. If you are hoping he will be here, you would say, "I hope (or I am hoping) he will be here."

Now, to change the subject -- there is one thing I sometimes find myself absolutely loving: when a person creates a word out of thin air and you know exactly what they're talking about. It's called creative license, and if people didn't make up nonsense words or find their own ways to describe things, our language would not exist as we know it. It's how our language evolves and grows, and it's damn neat. If it's done well. (oooo, anyone out there hate sentence fragments?)

-- Anonymous, December 23, 1999

this is a regional thing, but it isn't mutilation of vowel sounds, so i think it counts: it drives me UP A WALL when minnesotans/north dakotans/wisconsinites say "do you want to come with?" WITH WHOM? with you? with your mother? with the governor of our fine state? tell me!

-- Anonymous, December 23, 1999

How about this one..."I seen it." It doesn't even feel right when you say it!!! Oh, and the plural you - yuns, yous guys, yous, weens...It's actually very entertaining wunst you get used to it!!

-- Anonymous, December 23, 1999

I have a friend who says and writes "...and I" when referring to another person and herself, ALWAYS. "Jim and I went to the store." (good) "Denise went to the store with Jim and I." (bad) ARGGGG!

Another friend, in an email conversation, referred (repeatedly) to the opening in her fireplace for smoke to escape as the "flute"! She walks her dog on a "lease". The pizza place with the "game piece" name is Dominoles (with the "l" pronounced!). I love my friend, but sometimes I glad she lives 300 miles away and we communicate primarily by email!

I heard a commercial on the radio a couple of weeks ago for a hair salon that offered "either dramatic or subtle" changes and the "B" in subtle was pronounced. I almost ran off the road!

-- Anonymous, December 23, 1999

Ok, I'll jump on this bandwagon. Now I'm paranoid about what I'm writing because I'm afraid I might use incorrect grammar or punctuation. I was prepared to give my two cents worth of pet peeves (which are covered in other posts above) until I read Jason's post and was put in my place.

I actually enjoy when people use slang or create their own words when speaking. Usually these are people who are knowledgeable in language and grammar usage, and you know that they know there is no such word as "anywho", but it just seems to be "lighter" and less monotonous when you throw around words and phrases that may not be correct, but they are fun just the same. Everyone knows what I mean when I say "Have a good one!". They know I mean a good day. It's implied. It's understood. No, I don't enjoy when the language is mutilated from sheer ignorance.

Many times I have bounded into a room smiling and waving and yelling "HELLOOOOO PEOPLES!!". Now, everyone knows that isn't correct. I know that myself. Does it bug you? It's just fun. It's just slang. Yes, it is annoying when someone continually uses incorrect grammar or punctuation because they aren't educated in the proper way. That isn't the same thing as just having fun with the language. New words are created and integrated into our society all the time from people taking creative license.

I agree with the person who posted above regarding regional accents. Just because the pronunciation may not be the same as where you live, doesn't mean the English is incorrect.

What really bugs me more than this is the fact that we are NOT starting the new millennium. Do the math and shut up already.

Thanks for the space to vent.

-- Anonymous, December 23, 1999

I am really bothered by that Apple Computer slogan "Think Different." Shouldn't that be "Think Differently?"

-- Anonymous, December 23, 1999

It really gets to me when people replace "when" with "whenever." Example: "Whenever I went to the store yesterday I bought an apple." Of course, this would work fine if there had been more than one trip to the store. In this case, there was not. Ugh.

-- Anonymous, December 23, 1999

Joy,

Regarding the 'millenium': in a Letter from the Editor in Popular Mechanics (I don't recall which particular issue, the copy is at home) the Editors lashed back at all the criticism they've received for referring to the coming New Year as the beginning of the New Millenium.

According to the Editors, they know that the next millenium begins in 2001. However, the media hype around 2000 has been so overwhelming that they felt it futile to ignore what has become standard. They recognize that it's wrong; they just don't think it's a big enough deal to argue about.

("Besides, we should start at zero," says my genius boy. Um ... yeah, ok.)

Just thought that was kind of interesting.

(By the way, that was all pretty much paraphrasing from memory. I don't claim to be quoting directly.)

-- Anonymous, December 23, 1999

I may place myself staunchly in the fanatical Mac geek camp, by posting this, but Apple actually addresses the "Think Different" vs. "Think Differently" issue in their FAQ.

http://www.apple.com/hotnews/contact.html#grammar

-- Anonymous, December 23, 1999

This is such a fun forum topic.

Sometimes I think I am the only person in the whole world who pronounces "February" correctly. There IS an R there. The Merriam- Webster dictionary says either way is correct, but the Cambridge Dictionary says there's an R. I trust Cambridge over the dictionary that lists "irregardless" as a word any day.

Also, whoever said "Merry Xmas" drives them nuts hit the nail on the head. Don't want to acknowledge that no matter what you believe, it's a holiday celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ? Call it something else then. Don't replace the "Christ" with an X!

Sigh.

Off to celebrate CHRISTMAS. :-)

-- Anonymous, December 23, 1999

Oh, y'all, this topic is keeping me up nights! I keep thinking of more to post...

But first I have to put in my two cents about the "Think Different" thing. (No, I haven't gone to the web page yet.) That would be perfectly acceptable if it were something like "Think 'Different'" or "Think: Different" or something like that. But I also agree that the way it is, it should be "Think DifferentLY." OK, enough of that.

I hate when people think "I" is more proper than "me" (I think someone else mentioned this). For example, "between you and I," etc. But I love to hate it when people start sentences with "me and him went to the store." Yeah, like they'd really say "me went to the store" or "him went to the store"!

I'm am sickened and disgusted (redundant, I'm aware!) when people misuse the word "irony". According to Mirriam-Webster OnLine (as I'm SURE all of you already know, but just in case!), irony means:

"2a: the use of words to express something other than and especially the opposite of the literal meaning; b: a usually humorous or sardonic literary style or form characterized by irony; c: an ironic expression or utterance"

(This is definition 2, by the way, but the most common usage these days.) People use "ironic" to mean "coincidental" or something similar most of the time. For example, there is only ONE example of TRUE irony in the whole damn Alanis Morrissette song! (It's when the plane's crashing and the guy's thinking, "Well isn't this nice?" It's the opposite of what he means.) Rain on your wedding day is NOT ironic; it's just bad luck. Truth be told, sarcasm and irony are basically the same thing. Got it?

I can't believe there is actually a TV commercial for some dang candy in which some guy with a pompous accent pronounces "specialty" as "speciALITY". Awful!

Julie, with her complaint about "anywheres", etc., reminded me how much I cringe when people say "anyways". I have a good friend who does this all the time, and I just don't have the heart to correct him. (On other stuff, no problem!)

But it is fun when people make up words, or grammatically painful expressions that are funny. My good friend from college once called something or someone "annoyinger than hell". We took that ball and ran with it. She only said it that one time, but we loved it, and still use it to this day. (And she and I graduated from college 10 years ago yesterday!)

Thanks for the fun topic, pamie!

Happy Holidays, y'all!

-- Anonymous, December 23, 1999

On the radio this morning they were discussing which Y2K party would be the "funnest."

I'm not kidding.

-- Anonymous, December 23, 1999

Oh poo... I use "anyhoo" all the time, at least when I write. I don't think I've said it more than three times in my life though. I don't use it seriously though and I don't think "anyWHO" when I write it. Anytime I see "anyhoo" I think of it being said in a sort of hoity-toity way, i.e. "Anyhoo, Boofy and the Chipster left the summer home early this morning to sip latte and play tennis."

-- Anonymous, December 23, 1999

One of my non-favorites is misuse of the word "literally". Although I don't need to tell the grammar mavens here this, "literally" indicates actual fact as opposed to humorous exaggeration [e.g. "I have a million people on my Christmas list this year," vs. "Amazon.com filled literally a million orders this holiday season."] Some have mistakenly interpreted "literally" to denote a general emphatic adverb. My favorite instance of this is when Wil and I were listening to a Mariners game on the car radio and the announcer, having just seen Junior pull a triple out of what rightfully should have been a double, screamed, "Ken Griffey LITERALLY GREW WINGS AND FLEW TO THIRD BASE!" God, we were sorry we didn't catch the game on TV

-- Anonymous, December 23, 1999

My boyfriend says a whole lot of things that constantly get on my nerves. "fixin", wtf? "I'm fixin to go right now, are you coming?" The first time he said that, I had no idea what he was talking about and I had serious doubts about him ever graduating from high school. He also says "warsh", where in the word "WASH" is there an 'R'? Whenever he refers to Epitaph Records, he says "epi-tat". I've probably corrected him close to 200 times now and he STILL says it. There's a whole slew of things that bother me. He was born and raised in Houston, Texas and he argues with me over and over that Texas is part of the WEST not the South. I've lived all over the west coast and never have I ever considered Texas part of the West. It's practically it's own little country (it once was!) but I always think of it as part of the South. The armpit of the South actually; you didn't hear that from me.

In general, I hate it when people use improper tense or make words up. There's this guy I know and he makes words up to sound really intelligent, only he forgets that unlike himself, I actually graduated from high school and got into college, so I usually point it out. "Duude it's so fantaximarligical!!" Or people that use words in the wrong context, I love that. "Oh man that chick is so hot! She's so repugnant!" I've got a tip for those people: if you don't know what it means, don't say it! Very simple.

I no be dumb.

-- Anonymous, December 23, 1999

My personal favorite is when my Grandma is relaying, for example, a discussion she had with her neighbor. Instead of using the standard past tense, "she said blah", she'll say "she says blah". When she repeats that phrase 50 times in a conversation with her old lady Wisconsin accent, it's enough to make me scream.

I used to be terribly annoyed by the "axe" for "ask" phenomenon, but then I read somewhere that "axe" is actually not sloppy pronunciation, but a legitimate derivative from the original old English, or something like that. It simply didn't catch on as "standard".

-- Anonymous, December 23, 1999

After a heated discussion on "Jerry Springer" I was forced to go to dictionary.com:

v. tri7fled, tri7fling , tri7fles. v. intr.

1.To deal with something as if it were of little significance or value. 2.To act, perform, or speak with little seriousness or purpose; jest. 3.To play or toy with something: She trifled with my affections.

I just had to know what "She triflin'! She's triflin'! She's triflin! I told you she triflin'! Speak to your triflin' wife" meant.

I think that now it means "slutty" or maybe "waste of time?" (i.e. Destiny's Child -- "You're trifiling, you good for nuthin' type of brother.") I mean, if he's not paying her bills, her telephone bills, her automobiles, she's dumping him.

I give up. I just don't know why everybody on Springer has to speak in threes. "I didn't! I didn't! I didn't! Okay! Okay! Okay! Hold up! Hold up! Hold up! Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Wait a minute!"

Maybe it's from too many pep rallies as a youth.

-- Anonymous, December 23, 1999

This is responding to the person who doesn't understand the "Do you want to come with?" question posed by Minnesotans, North Dakotans, and Wisconsonites. I don't get it either, and I hate to tell you, it's a spreading phenomenon...I live in South Carolina and people here say it, too. I think they're trying to be cool. One thing that gets me is when people use words when they obviously don't know what they mean. At my summer job, this girl said, "That boy is weird. He's literally weird." Was she afraid we'd think he was figuratively weird?

-- Anonymous, December 23, 1999

Oh, boy. Let's see if I can keep this short. =) Jag-wire instead of jaguar. I had some one tell me once that jag-war is right for the animal, but the car is a jag-wire. Please tell me that isn't true! In the same category as "between you and I," there's always using "whom" in place of "who." "It is I whom am late." Grrr. Oh, and as far as "peoples," it really is a word. Under the definition of people, the American Heritage says: "pl. peoples. A body of persons sharing a common religion, culture, language, or inherited condition of life." So you can talk about all the different peoples inhabiting South America.

Okay, I think I'm done now. =)

-- Anonymous, December 23, 1999

I just got home from an oh so joyous christmas gathering with some of my cousins that can't be here on saturday.

Someone's already beaten me to this, but here goes.....

My cousin's wife...who is a TOTAL bitch, btw....and who likes to be introduced as Dr. Casey Brown (she has her doctorate in education....whatever...I'd be proud, too...but come ON)....says FIXIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! All the fricken time. It drives me crazy. My grandmother was introducing her to a neighbor tonight and said, "this is Justin's wife, Casey".....and Casey said, "Hi, I'm Dr. Casey Brown....we were just fixin' to leave"

I thought my eyes were gonna roll right out of my head.

Regional or not.....it bugs the shit out of me.

She pronounces Estee Lauder as esTEEEE louder....sure that seems petty...but it's WRONG!!! WRONG!! WRONG!!! Haven't you seen any of those commercials?

One of my other relatives always says "hisself"......it's HIMSELF you dipshit!!!!

give me a few more days with these people and I'll have even more.

-- Anonymous, December 23, 1999

Ok, here are mine...

Confusion of the words "don't" and "doesn't." I, too, broke up with a man for bad grammar once upon a time, and it was this mistake that really was the final straw. I can't date a man who says, "She don't live here."

"heighth" for "height" and "checkings" for "checking"

"bring" for "take" and vice versa. I really hate it when I hear, for example, a bag boy say to a customer, "Can I bring these groceries outside for you?" instead of "Can I take these outside for you?" AAAGGHH!!!!

As a Southerner, I occasionally say that I am "fixing" to do something, but I cannot stand it when it turns into "finna." "I'm finna go to the store."

As for my own faults, until recently I had a problem with the plural form of "you." Then my mom informed me that "you" is the plural form and "thee" is the singular. Too bad no one says "thee" anymore! I also have severe problems with "then" and "than."

-- Anonymous, December 24, 1999

I don't find the regional sayings as annoying as you all do; I usually find them charming. But then, I even find it a little charming when a twelve year old tells a story, and every other line is, "And then, she's all [blah blah], and I'm all, whatever." I think the world would be really dull if everyone used perfect English all the time, or if everyone in every region talked the same way.

But I do know about "triflin'." It means "messin' around," in every sense of that phrase. It means fooling around with someone with whom you hadn't ought to be foolin', whether that foolin' around consists of sex or back talk or just causing trouble.

It's a great word. "You been triflin' with that woman, Junior?" "Bobby, was you just triflin' with me all this time?" "Don't you trifle with me, young man ..."

-- Anonymous, December 24, 1999

Oops, I forgot the use of "triflin'" as an adjective. I've heard it used to mean petty, worthless, good for nothing, that sort of thing.

-- Anonymous, December 24, 1999

A typical conversation with my family consists of my sister telling a story: "And I was like, "wha?" And she's all, "Shutup," cuz I'm like "Tss! Whatever." And it was just like, yeah right, you know? So I'm like "Don't even" and she's all, "I'm not," and I'm all, "I know you were," but she's all thinkin' she's tight and shit so I'm just like, "Forget it."

Then my father leans over and asks, "Do you understand a single word that she's saying?"

OT: My favorite "game night" story involves playing Trivial Pursuit Genus III and my dad read my sister the following question: "Whose debut album was entitled, "The Chronic?"

My sister said, "That's easy. Dre."

"Oh," my father said, "sorry. It's Doctor Dreeeee. He's a doctor, apparently."

Just a funny image, Snoop and Dre all busting out with some scrubs.

(Merry Christmas Eve!)

-- Anonymous, December 24, 1999

Being from Wisconsin, I think I can help all y'all out with this "Do you want to come with?" problem. It's simple. We're just dropping the 'me' off the end. As in "Do you want to come with (me)?" It's obvious that if you're inviting someone, you want them to come with *you*, so we just dispense with that part.

I like regionalisms. My grandma's from Ohio, and she says "warsh" all the time, and we tease her about it. But actually we think it's cute. Regional phrases and grammar are just like regional pronunciation of words - a little bit exempt from normal rules of grammar, because we human beings feel more like we're at home to have a special way of saying things to the people who know.

Milwaukee has a few distinct regionalisms. We call drinking fountains "bubblers". This is actually in a book on regionalisms. It has to do with how all the public drinking fountains in the city a long time ago used to come bubbling out of a vertical pipe coming out of a basin. When I was small I thought it was really weird that some people called them fountains, since they weren't there to make the school corridor pretty. (Isn't that what fountains are for?)

We also sometimes call sofas "davenports" I guess because they were made in a place called Davenport. We say "down by" when we mean "over there at that place". As in (to quote the usual phrase summing up many Milwaukeeisms into one): "Down by Gimbel's where the streetcar bends the corner 'round." To that I could add: "It's where we're gonna bring her shopping to, wanna come with?"

Some examples We went there yesterday, it's really funny" and they mean that it was a lot of fun. I have tried to tell them that this is not how you say it but this is what they are taught in school. It's not fun, it's funny. And

-- Anonymous, December 24, 1999

When someone mentioned the use of American spellings in Austrailia, it reminded me of one of my biggest pet peeves... when people from places other than America (especially the UK or Austrailia) get on forums, guestbooks, chatrooms, ek cetra (sorry, I couldn't resist! :)) and try to use every single colloquialism in their language.

...so I didn't dally in scurrying back to my flat, even though I was completely buggered, because I knew my wellies were going to be soaked by the bloody rain if I didn't...

Wow. Yay. Everyone knows you're from London now, thanks.

...Anyhow, mate, the bloke kicked me square in th' apricots, and I knew we were about to have a barney, so I blew through faster than a boomer with the darling pea.

Basically, this person was just trying to say that he got kicked in the balls by some guy, he didn't want to get into a fight, so he got out of there faster than an insane kangaroo.

It's just irritating.

-- Anonymous, December 24, 1999

This is an Iowa one, I think: "I would have went" instead of "would have gone." Educated people say that! Makes me shiver.

Another one that bugs me is the misuse of "that" and "which." Actually, I think I was happier before I knew the correct usage of these two, because they are almost always used wrong, and now it annoys me. Don't read any further unless you want it to bug you from now on, too!

Here's an easy way to remember how to use them:

If the information being introduced is tangential to the sentence's meaning, and enclosed in commas, use "which":

The airplane, which was painted green, fell out of the sky.

If the information being introduced is a necessary part of the sentence, use "that":

The airplane that got hit by lightning fell out of the sky. (The other sixteen airplanes in the sky landed safely.)

-- And yes, I know that I used the punctuation marks inconsistenly with the quotation marks. It bothers me, but I can never remember the rules.

-- Anonymous, December 24, 1999

Oh, and Troy had a teacher in 6th grade that pronounced "drawings" as "drawrings." Hey. Go back to college or something.

-- Anonymous, December 24, 1999

I need to get out of this forum.

People in Indiana don't answer the phone with a normal "Hello?" It's "Y'ello." You kind of have to draw out the "y" sound and then say the "ello" part really fast. "Yyyyy-ello!"

My grandmother cannot, for some reason, say "cemetary." She says it as "symmetry." We have corrected her hundreds of times and she refuses to say it right. She also says "Indianapolis" as "Inna-naplis" and "Cincinatti" is "Cinn-suh-natta." Arrrgh...

-- Anonymous, December 24, 1999

My grandmother says "hamburg" instead of "hamburger," "pop" when she means "Kool-Aid" (not soda), "down to [name]'s" in the way that French people use "chez," and a whole host of other Gram-isms that I can't remember. An elderly friend of ours, who is from Minnesota, says "pert' near" (pretty near) to mean "almost." My dad knows his grammar perfectly well, but in casual speech he still occasionally slips into "she don't," "ain't," and misuse of the past tense, i.e., "She come up the stairs and started hollerin' at everybody ..."

I think it's adorable and I'd be seriously bummed if any of those people suddenly started speaking "correctly" all the time.

-- Anonymous, December 24, 1999

Pamie, I laughed so hard I nearly gave myself a hernia reading your sister's telling of a story. I made my hubby come in here so I could read it alout to him...but I couldn't get through it without cracking up!

Here's one more little rule that not many people know about. I saw someone violate it just now -- I'm not naming names, or flaming, just aiming to educate! I didn't know this one myself until recently, so here goes. (God, please save me from this topic!)

When an "-ing" word is the subject of a sentence, it becomes a gerund instead of a verb. Meaning, like, you know, a noun or something. This is from "Heath's Brief Handbook of Usage":

"A noun or person modifying a gerund should be in the possessive case: JULIE'S giggling disturbed those around her. Alan's father approved of HIS joining the Navy."

That make sense?

-- Anonymous, December 24, 1999

I don't really want this to be a flame, but I can't stand it another second. I'm shocked that someone would post on particular topic, yet make so many mistakes in the first sentence (capitals mine):

> ALRIGHT, coming from Canada (u know way up north where we live in > igloos? *rolls eyes*) I live INA little province called nova scotia > that NOONE but fellow maritimers seems to believe exists..

I'm sorry, but that one made my skin crawl, and I couldn't just let it go.

-- Anonymous, December 24, 1999

I don't really want this to be a flame, but I can't stand it another second. I'm shocked that someone would post on particular topic, yet make so many mistakes in the first sentence (capitals mine):

> ALRIGHT, coming from Canada (U know way up north where we live in > igloos? *rolls eyes*) I live INA little province called nova scotia > that NOONE but fellow maritimers seems to believe exists..

I'm sorry, but that one made my skin crawl, and I couldn't just let it go. So sue me, or lash me with some wet noodles.

-- Anonymous, December 24, 1999

On the subject of thou, thee, you, and y'all:

Yes, "you" was originally the plural form, and "thou" and "thee" the singular, ("thou" = subject pronoun, "thee" = object pronoun") but that slipped out of use a very, very long time ago (in about the thirteenth century, I believe) and "thou" was then only used as a term of familiarity, while "you" was used in all other cases.

-- Anonymous, December 24, 1999

Has anyone mentioned the annoying use of the expression "whole nuther" instead of another or a whole other?

-- Anonymous, December 25, 1999

I hate when people say "it's not that big of a deal" and similar constructions. Where the hell did that OF come from? How does that make sense?

Also when people use the objective rather than possessive pronoun in gerund construction: "me being [blah blah]", etc. That's just really fucking irritating.

-- Anonymous, December 25, 1999

When my daughter was going into kindergarten, there was a meeting at her school for all parents of children going into kindergarten. Someone asked one of the teachers a question, and the teacher said "Well, yes, that's one asspoint, but..."

She accidentally mixed "Aspect" and "Viewpoint"! It was *great*. Now when my husband has an opinion I disagree with, I tell him that that's just *his* asspoint.

http://www.bitchypoo.com/bitchypoo.html

-- Anonymous, December 25, 1999

Angela, Milwaukee isn't the only place where people drink from bubblers. That is part of the Rhode Island regional version of English (except here it sounds more like "bubblah").

Also... in Rhode Island a hero - sub - submarine - poor boy sandwich is called a grinder ("grindah").

-- Anonymous, December 26, 1999

Oh, also, Pamie, people say "finna" here in n. Illinois too. THERE IS NO ESCAPING IT!! AAAAHH!!

I suppose you could move to a different English-speaking country, but then they have their own illiteracies which are, if not annoying, at least incomprehensible.

-- Anonymous, December 26, 1999

Ok, I figured it out. My biggest all time pet peeve (second only to "supposably" which really does drive me up the figurative wall) is when people attempt to use old english such as "thee" "thou" "thy" and "thine" and fuck it up. I mean, really. First off, "thy" and "thine" may mean almost the same thing, but they are not interchangeable. "Thine" is used at the end of a sentence or before a vowel (so you would say "Thy coat of blue" and "That blue coat of thine" or "Thine eyes of blue". See? Before a vowel!). "Thee" is NOT supposed to be used at the beginning of a sentence!! "I shall give it to thee" is correct, or "I shall give thee thy blue coat" would work, but not "Thee are the fairest maiden in the land." "Thou" is a bit trickier- "Thou art the fairest maiden in the land. Would that I were not poor I would give thee gold for thy garments and diamonds for thine eyes." No, I don't know why he'd give diamonds for her eyes, but damn it, at least the usage is correct.

There. I feel a little bit better. So boys, if you're trying to be romantic, don't pull out the old english. Seriously. Unless you know what you're doing, you'll just sound stupid.

(little hint- learning the proper usage of the above archaic words makes learning Germanic/Scandinavian languages SO much easier.)

-- Anonymous, December 26, 1999

My grandmother can't say 'gazebo'. She says it 'gazebow'...

Drives me insane.

-- Anonymous, December 27, 1999

Wow, this was the topic for me. I don't pretend to be an English scholar, though I've earned the scorn on the grammatically challenged all my life with what little I know about the language. Most of my favorites have been covered. My biggest peeves are the its/it's, your/you're, there/their/they're and to/two/too bugs, because they are so common.

Growing up in L.A., a lot of people I knew said "finta," which I guess is a variation on "finna." Someone finally explained to me that this is a contraction of fixin' ta, spelled "f'inta." So now slang expressions have contractions all their own? That's not very comforting.

Once I applied for a job that required "excellent spelling and grammer." I mentioned the error in my interview and that helped me land the job.

I also hate that the receptionist, when I ask her via instant messenger to so something, responds "K." OK is already an abbreviation, for crying out loud!

Bad grammer, youse can't not excape it.

-- Anonymous, December 27, 1999

What is it about this topic that brings out the typos? What I meant to say was:

"I've earned the scorn OF the grammatically challenged all my life"

"Most of my LEAST favorites have been covered."

"I also hate that the receptionist, when I ask her via instant messenger to DO something, responds "K." OK is already an abbreviation, for crying out loud!"

While I'm correcting, I'll go ahead and add one I remembered. My mom quite often says, "littler." That one always drove my dad nuts.

-- Anonymous, December 27, 1999

Pamie,

Re: your observation that everyone on Jerry Springer must speak in threes...this only proves that Springer is scripted by Vincent Gallo.

-- Anonymous, December 28, 1999

The more they sez "I sez," the less likely it is that they said what they sez they said. --Scott Adams

Thetis The Clockworks

-- Anonymous, December 28, 1999

When people don't know the difference between "it's" and "its." That's the #1 big time pet peeve.

When people don't know the difference between possessives and plurals -- e.g., "stamps for sale" and "stamp's for sale."

When people write "Thank-you!"

Grrrrrrrrr. I'm such a pedant.

Love, sarah

http://www.schismatic.com/

-- Anonymous, December 29, 1999

I'm calling someone out on this, but I won't name any names! :)

Someone actually started a sentence with "Me and my friends..." on this forum. Shocking!

-- Anonymous, December 29, 1999

OK, I'll play along. Or at least bait y'all for discussion.

What's wrong with "funnest"? "Fun" is an adjective, and it's one syllable long. Isn't that when you're "supposed to" use "-est"?

On Xmas: the X stands for the cross. Just like the word "Christ" is derived from the old word for cross, IIRC.

-- Anonymous, December 29, 1999

Whoa, Jason, were you sitting behind me at the movies today? Because my hubby and our friend and I were discussing just that very thing: funnest. We agree that it SHOULD be a word. And since, as I'm sure you all have noticed (and even our cats' vet pointed out today), I AM the Grammar Queen, From This Point Forward "Funnest" and "Funner" Shall Be Words. There. I feel better already.

-- Anonymous, December 29, 1999

I'm not sure if this belongs here or under one of the Tae-Bo topics, but Billy can't be left out on this. In the Advanced Live 2 workout, Billy explains that he's using exercises in different combinations to make them "a little bit more harder". During the regular advanced tape he advises that "sometimes it wanna make you quit". I had no idea that Tae-Bo has a will of its own, much less that it was set against me. Yeah, I know he's dislexic, but that's no excuse.

-- Anonymous, January 04, 2000

This is an interesting thread, and a welcome place to vent certain peeves about those around us whose pronunciations and alternate understandings of the English language rankle, grate, or irritate. Here are a few of mine: "artic" for "arctic," "ameenocentesis" for "amniocentesis," and "alercity" for "alacrity."

That said, I adore English language regionalisms. It's a great way to understand others' thought processes, backgrounds, and childhoods. For example, I grew up calling a bathroom a head, as in "he's in the head." Other people say "toilet," "loo," or "facility."

Also, I live in a part of the United States where the people learn English as a third language, usually beginning in kindergarten. Over the years, this has resulted in a particular style: a sign saying "Appliances Store;" the birth of the first baby of the new year being described as "the time she came out," and the mother "born" her; ADA signs saying "Disabilities Parking;" traffic signs saying "Speed Check By Radar." Oh, and here's one that used to make a friend of mine run screaming from the room when he heard it on the radio: "... the original savings store ... your dollar goes more." It was the "your dollar goes more" part that made his ears sore!

Someone contributed some thoughts on made up words -- H.L. Mencken's "ecdysiast" comes to mind.

Perhaps it's true that one person's slang is another person's regionalism.

A little story: Robert Cormier, a writer of young adult books, met with gifted students at a school in the United States. He wanted to study their speech habits and use of slang, but when he asked them which slang words they used the most, they said, "We don't use slang. We're gifted."

Another story: I was conversing with an English friend and used the phrase "he dove into the water." My friend started to laugh, then guffaw (there's a word for youse all!). He laughed so hard he had tears in his eyes! I said, "What's so funny?" He said, "You Americans, always making up words as you go along." You see, in his lexicon, "dived" is preferred usage.

So -- liveliness is in the ear of the behearer! And let's hear it for colorful speech, with a nod and a curtsey to grammar.

My secret fear: that, in the future, the use of the term "period," meaning "full stop" will cease, and the term "dot" will take it's place. ;)

-- Anonymous, January 04, 2000

I just wanted to apologize for calling people in general a "big bitch" in this forum. It must not have made a very good first impression of me. I stand by everything else I said, but my tone was a bit harsh.

It's often the topics that people are passionate about, or that touch upon a person's pet peeves, that will make a lurker finally de-lurk, often with guns blazing. It's helpful to remember that when dealing with newbies.

-- Anonymous, February 02, 2000

Unmercilessly. That just means merciful, you trog!

-- Anonymous, February 02, 2000

I just remembered. An acquaintance of mine asked me what perfume I was wearing. I told her it was Cinnabar from Estee Lauder. She then exclaimed, "Oh, I just love Estate Lorder."

-- Anonymous, February 02, 2000

I have a few...

It's ORANGE! With an R. Not oinge. While "yeah" is slang to begin with, it makes my skin crawl when a person writes "yah."

Also, after the WTO events here were blamed strongly on the "Eugene anarchists," the newspaper ran a picture with a caption along the lines of, "...the leader of the anarchists is pictured here." Anarchists have no leader! That's the whole point!

The word someone is singular. Someone left HIS jacket behind (or it could be her or even his/her). Someone did not leave THEIR jacket behind. That would be "some people," not "someone."

Also, I have to agree about the n3t5p34k. Argh.

I think accents are cool, though.

-- Anonymous, March 03, 2000

A lot of places in the Pacific Northwest have unusual names. It's difficult to know how to pronounce Puyallup or Mukilteo or Tigard or The Dalles if you're not from this part of the country. What bugs me is when people can't pronounce the names of the states -- what, did you people never learn your states and capitols in elementary school?

Say it with me. Oregon. OR-eh-gun. Not orry-GONE. Washington. Just like it's spelled. WASH-ing-ton. Not WARSH-ing-ton. You sound like a redneck.

Loree

-- Anonymous, March 07, 2000

I *really* hate it when someone says "samich" instead of "sandwich"!!! It drives me absolutely batty!

The rest of my grammar pet peeves have been covered, I believe.

-- Anonymous, March 09, 2000

Ok, I know this thread has been up here for a long time, but I just found it today. As I'm reading it, enjoying it thoroughly (especially the its/it's thing - my neighborhood blockbuster has a big poster up in the window now misusing that one), I get an interoffice email from a fellow employee in my law firm. It went a little something like this:

"Office Service's has a unidentified fax it appear's to be a real estate sale's contract. The buyer's name is [....], out of Geneva Il, if this fax belong's to you please call Office Service's.."

Wow.

I have all kinds of grammar and spelling pet peeves, but they're usually limited to written mistakes. It especially bugs me when some major company (like Blockbuster) can't afford to bring in the copy editors to fix the its/it's mistakes! On the other hand, I also find a lot of regionalisms and slang charming, especially when it's from people like my Hoosier grandfather. He make vowels preceding an "sh" long vowels. Fish becomes "feesh," push becomes "poosh." He used to take my brother and me down to the corner store to get poosh-ups. (Anybody remember those?)

-- Anonymous, March 10, 2000

There's a Mexican food restaurant down the street from my house that says:

"NOW" OPEN

Needless to say, I don't feel safe eating there.

-- Anonymous, March 10, 2000

See what happens when I have time on my hands and find old threads? Bad news....

It's eSpecially, people, not eXpecially. Same goes for eSpresso.

The you're/your thing will forever aggravate me, too.

-- Anonymous, June 06, 2000

what a great thread! I almost fell off of my chair when I read the story of the conversation from your sister, it was hilarious! As for grammatical peeves,one of my biggest is when people say orientate instead of orient. It drives me crazy. Orientating is what an orienteer does. When the rest of us are becoming acquainted with a new situation we are orienting. Grrrrr!

-- Anonymous, October 16, 2001

I see emails all the time from my bosses or other people higher up on the supposed food chain - none of them can use the word 'lose' correctly.

"I wouldn't want to loose the penske file!" "Don't loose your focus."

I won't, but those guys must have a screw lose.

-- Anonymous, October 17, 2001

You people have entirely too much time on your hands.

-- Anonymous, November 02, 2001

I am one of those guilty of saying "warsh" instead of "wash," as well as "or-e-GONE" instead of "ORE-gun," as has been pointed out earlier in this discussion. I grew up in western Colorado and now live on the N. Carolina coast...and have been hearing snide remarks about how I talk since I got out this way a few years back. Might help to know that most of my family has midwestern backgrounds (Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Nebraska)...regionalisms are a cool thing, I still get a kick out of the myriad of dialects/accents found in NC. If you go to Cape Hatteras, you'd love to hear their dialect, which contains a lot of older English accent ('house' = 'hoose,' 'sound' = 'soond'....as in "My hoose is on the soond side of the island") Just my 2 cents...

-- Anonymous, February 23, 2002