I really don't care what Lenny chooses to do with his songs, but it pains me to hear "Welcome Back Kotter" on a Burger King commercial. Also, someone needs to stop Michael Jackson from selling every Beatles song there is.

Are you still crying over "Melt with You?" What songs have been ruined for you?

-- Anonymous, December 15, 1999

Answers

"Mercedes Benz." Not that I particularly love the song or anything, but the commercial always made me want to cry for the death of irony.

-- Anonymous, December 15, 1999

An instrumental version of 'Rebel, Rebel' on a car commercial. If my television had a neck, I would have wrung it.

-- Anonymous, December 15, 1999

I got a sick feeling in my stomach when I saw that car ad that used "How Soon is Now." I wanted to weep. I think that God-awful show "Charmed" has a terrible cover of that song for its theme, too. "Melt With You" made me sad, too -- but then, most of those Burger King ads did. The only ads I liked that used popular songs were the Volkswagon ones. They didn't seem so... exploitive, I guess.

-- Anonymous, December 15, 1999

The Gap ads sampling Ice Ice Baby: this is a bad commercial, sampling a bad song, sampling a really, really good song. You know it's mean streets when the parasites have their own parasites.

In Nature, it isn't the bacteria that lives off of the leeches. It's the Gap.

-- Anonymous, December 15, 1999

I agree re: the deplorable cover of How Soon Is Now? for Charmed. It's enough to give one nightmares.

Not sure if these ads run down in the US (most likely they do; it seems we get Canadianized versions of US ads, especially for automobiles "US Model Shown.") but the Mazda ads where they pseudo-cover 88 Lines About 44 Women are especially obnoxious.

You know you're getting old when the anthems that defined your generation are now bastardized into tv jingos and theme songs.

Sigh...

-- Anonymous, December 15, 1999

i loved loved loved those underwear commercials that had "stuck in the middle with you" showing the full bottoms after all the thongs!

-- Anonymous, December 15, 1999

I don't have a clue what opera it's from, but that tune they used for the "No more rice krispies" ad from the early 70's just does not work as serious opera any more.

I'm still struggling with this. You can tell, can't you?

-- Anonymous, December 15, 1999

Sly and the Family Stone should never,never, never be used to sell cars and I agree, the Smiths should never never never be used to pimp a silly ass tv show. What a shame.

-- Anonymous, December 15, 1999

For me Nike proved they were corporate tossers when they used The Beatles "Instant Karma". It makes me wonder how bad things can get... I mean are we going to turn on the TV to see McDonalds using John Lennon's "imagine" one day? How's that for a freaky-thought-of-the-day.

-- Anonymous, December 15, 1999

I've never really been a huge Lenny Kravitz fan, but he never had a CHANCE when "I Wanna Fly Away" got picked up so quickly in a TV commercial. I hated that song before it even really hit the charts.

-- Anonymous, December 15, 1999

I remember when I heard Ozzy's "Crazy Train" on a truck commercial. I never thought I would live to see that day.

Didn't the guy from Smash Mouth say he wrote "All Star" and then told his agents that it would be perfect for Nike commercials. A few months later, and it's on those Gatorade commercials. I say if you're gonna do that shit, you should write the song with that intent in the first place.

Like "Imagine." John Lennon could have written:
Imagine there's no highway
It's easy if you try
No curves or exits
Below us nothing paved...
Imagine Ford Explorers
Can take us on our way...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope some day, you'll drive here
And the world will get low gas milage, have four wheel drive and be the best SUV available at under $20,000. Thank you, goodnight...

Coulda happened.
Omar

-- Anonymous, December 15, 1999

Something is terribly wrong with my eyes. Everything is so crooked. Maybe they are on backwards. Ahh thats better.

-- Anonymous, December 16, 1999

Oh yeah. And Omar, we can't be following you around everywhere turning off your lights, picking up your socks, and ending your tags. Buck up, young man.

-- Anonymous, December 16, 1999

I hate that Bob Seger, "Like a Rock" song, and so it did that truck company no good to use that song, for like 309 years, as their slogan. I wasn't going to buy one of those trucks before, and I certainly won't now!

I also got all up in the Kool-Aid when I heard Madonna's Ray of Light on an AT and T commercial... but mostly because the song was pretty new, and I knew that meant she was majorly in need of money or self- gratification or something. It's a pretty good use of music in a commercial though, so I forgave her.

-- Anonymous, December 16, 1999

I agree about the 'Ice, Ice, Baby' GAP ad. I'm still pissed at them over the whole vest thing, and now this. It's not that I hate the commercials themselves- I love the use of New Edition's 'Cool it Now'. What pisses me off is that Vanilla Ice may still be making money off of that piece of shit. I've always hated Mr. Van Winkle, and the fact that his stories about his own history and the infamous encounter with Suge Knight have been as inconsistent as his own image are testaments to the fact that he has as little backbone as he does talent. I only hope that he sold off the rights to someone else, or else he may have enough money to make a new album (what kind of music is he up to now, anyway- hard core/straight edge, gospel, ska, new age instrumental minimalism?) Yup, yup- word to your mutha.

I also abhor the use of REM's (actually it's a crappy remake with a female singer where they try and make it somekind of anthem) 'Superman' in what I think is an IBM commercial. They used to be opposed to publishing their lyrics (probably because Stipe didn't even know what he was saying), so I'm not sure what brought about the change in attitude.

-- Anonymous, December 16, 1999

I've heard a bit of "How Soon Is Now?" used during some NFL promo thingy. BAWhahahahahaha!!! A friend of mine was singing something wonderful the other day - too bad it wasn't recorded this way: hey now - you're a rockstar do some coccaine - get laid!

-- Anonymous, December 16, 1999

I'm still not over them using Iggy and the Stooges "Search and Destroy" off their "Raw Power" album for whatever stupid car/sneakers/cd player etc. they were trying to ram down our throats a couple of years ago.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE that entire album and even though I don't even think I know the titles of every song, I can sing along to that whole freakin' album without missing a beat! I felt so lame for loving it after that stupid commercial, like I was... I don't know, I just felt lame.

-- Anonymous, December 16, 1999

This morning I heard a brutally abused version of "We've Got the Beat" by the Go-Gos. It seems Foley's felt the need to turn it into a cloying "we've got the gift" ad campaign... Belinda Carlisle should sue.

-- Anonymous, December 16, 1999

Oh the worst one for me so far is the use of "Daddy" for Ashford.com or whatever that website is. I love that song and have for my whole life. And they used what must be the Eartha Kitt version because it's so annoying it makes my teeth itch. You should hear The Andrews Sisters sing it - it rocks the world.

I was bothered also by the "Superman" usage. Wrong. It's only my favorite REM song - did they have to violate it?

One commericial I liked - I think it was the WNBA - used the Mary Tyler Moore theme recorded by I don't know who but, it sounded like The Breeders - I liked that one.

-- Anonymous, December 16, 1999

Yesterday I heard not one, but TWO ads in which they take a popular christmas song and turn it into a "funny" jingle for their company. In a row. I almost threw up, but I was driving, so it wouldn't've been beneficial...

-- Anonymous, December 16, 1999

REM don't own Superman because they didn't write the song. They did it as a cover from a 60's band, called the Click, or the Clique, or some homonym thereof.

-- Anonymous, December 16, 1999

Sorry about the itals. I'll tuck in the shirt tails if you wipe off the sanctimony.

love,
omie

-- Anonymous, December 16, 1999

Remember when Gershwin's "Rhapsody in Blue" was used for some airline's commercial? I was ready to go into hypno-therapy to erase that association. Luckily that ad doesn't seem to be around anymore. Or maybe I'm just watching less TV. Or maybe that airline isn't around anymore. Hopefully I'll forget the whole thing completely in another couple years....

-- Anonymous, December 16, 1999

Nine years ago, Queen released their 'Innuendo' album, which dealt for the most part with Freddie Mercury's impending death of AIDS. A very moving album, especially in retrospect.

Now they're using the title track to sell Scotch whisky.

-- Anonymous, December 17, 1999

yeah, but people, have you SEEN cartoon network? i'm all about the punk rock jabberjaw theme song commercial.....

pretty much all these commercials can suck it, except for the ones that use trans am and/or stereolab, which seems to be happening a lot more, lately.

i am so eloquent when i am tired/sick. please feel free to berate me at a later date for the phrase "suck it."

xoxo

-- Anonymous, December 17, 1999

Glad I don't watch the WB, or I too would have been pissed to hear the Smiths used to advertise a lame TV show. Bad enough they had to use it for whatever car commercial that was.

But -- you gotta say one thing about those Burger King commercials that drag out old songs you loved, hated, had forgotten about, whatever: each song only runs about two weeks, so it's not around long enough for you to get REALLY pissed about it. (Plus "flashback- lunch"-type shows had already ruined "I Melt With You" for me, thank you very much.) Unlike Sly selling out to Toyota. Ish.

Does anyone out there really wear those vests that the Gap and Old Navy (yeah, I know, same store) is trying to sell? I've only ever seen them in commercials and print ads, never on a person. Oh wait -- yeah I have, but that was, like, 1976.

Oh, and my favorite little annoyance: using great old jazz songs to try to sell me something. No, that's not the only one. I hate how all commercials these days are either (a) just plain weird, (b) trying too hard to be weird, or (c) I have no idea what they're trying to sell me because there's just a bunch of shit spinning around on-screen with music blaring. No dialog, nothing, just a web address at the end. Please god let this trend stop now!

Desiree, I hate to disappoint, but I too had thought those United Rising commercials using Gershwin had gone away...then I heard one just the other day. Waaaanh.

-- Anonymous, December 19, 1999