This is a subject I am studying for my web site, but also because I am an older woman who is to teach the younger women to love their children. Even though this may not interest men who come to the forum it should because the men have a great impact on how the child is viewed.

Leaving the children with others to raise is a result and not a cause of the problem. First, before anyone can look at the worth of a child he/she will have to think of where the child came from. He is a gift from God...given to parents for a purpose. Without realizing this fact it would be hard to follow through with the importance of raising the child in the Lord.

Agape *love* is something parents need to have for their children. It is not an automatic love. It is not an emotional love. An older woman does not have to teach the younger women to have emotional love for their children. That is built in to normal mothers. But agape *love* is different. It is the valuing of the child....he's soul.

A mother who understands agape *love* will start from birth training the child for life...a godly life. This mother will realize she (with others of course, especially the father) has a responsibility to help prepare that child for the return trip to his heavenly Father. This raising takes time and effort. Not only must the child's life filled with the teaching of the parents but the life of the child is forever watched that ungodly influences do not take over. There are many things to watch for. Such as friends the child has, books he reads, TV programs he watches, and now what he clicks on on the computer. This cannot be done while a mother is working outside the home. God didn't give His gift to grandparents, the baby-sitter, or the daycare center. He gave His gift to the parents with instructions on how he should be raised.. The parents are the ones who will give an account of the way the child was raised.

Is this not an awesome thought?

-- Anonymous, December 01, 1999

Answers

I like this one you did, I would add, if there is one word that could be added it would be that "Giving" is synonym for "love" But "Giving" according to need, and not want. Yea,even Our love for one another is similar, for we love because of value of the object loved. EG John 3:16 illustrates this abundantly. Let us not forget either, the admonition in Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way HE SHOULD GO; AND WHEN HE IS OLD, HE WILL NOT DEPART FROM IT." People often come to us after they have not trained the child correctly, and then expect some magic to take their guilt away and and solve the problems their children have.

-- Anonymous, December 05, 1999

Nelta: I believe that the 3 last sentences you gave in your opening post make for a great argument for home-schooling. SO, where does that leave all the christian parents who opt for public/private education? I also believe that the passage from Pro.(22:60) isn't exclusively a spiritual training of a child, but since we are of flesh & spirit it's ALL encompassing. Just some thoughts. Kathy C. ><>

-- Anonymous, December 07, 1999

Kathy, I noticed that your question has remained unanswered, mind if I try? I have struggled with how to answer this as I have been asked my view on this many times, usually by frustrated and discouraged parents and Christian public school teachers. I too feel that it is the responsibility of the parents to educate their child or to see to it that it is done appropriately. Unfortunately that can't be done anymore through the public and many times the private sector. That last sentence I leave out. I also do not make my home education philosphy a test of fellowship, nor do I try to convince anyone to homeschool. Cause quess who gets blamed if it doesn't work out? I usually end the conversation like this..."When my kids were in the public school system I found I spent a huge amount of time helping with homework and other academic problems, policing school books and other papers but found I spent less time and got much better results doing it myself." This in the hopes they can make a good decision. At any rate I also tell them they must be ever vigilant of everything that goes on, the school books used, etc." Their job is much more challenging and they have so much more to overcome. I do agree that we must take back our responsibility as parents, regardless of how we school our children. Otherwise the government will do it for us.

-- Anonymous, December 16, 1999

Hey Jenny: I'm going to try & share some thoughts that I've had concerning the raising/educating of my children. Of course when I use personal pronouns it also includes my hubby because parenting in our home is a joint venture. So keep that in mind except when I share my experiences in teaching...that would be my own. So with that in mind..... I usually begin by trying to find out why there's inquiry & it mostly falls under 1 or more of these categories: 1.) Physical & Emotional safety i.e.anywhere from riding the sch. bus, to the locker room, bathrooms, guns & violence, negative peer pressure, & harrassment of varying sorts. 2.) Academic achievements i.e. usually on the "lacking" side. This is true especially of parents of children who have various L.D.'s & need to learn via an alternative way VS the "normal" classrm. environment. 3.) The least likely brought up but more importantly...Spiritual Nurturing. I find that most parents who inquire of my reasoning for home-schooling usually don't even acknowledge the fact that they (& their children) are spiritual beings. So this is when I usually take the initiative & mention briefly what God's word says about children & parenting. Nothing in great detail unless further questions arise. But do also mention my concern about parents who all to willingly give up their responsibility each yr.,much to a virtual stranger in many cases. I also reflect on my teaching experiences & relay examples of how much more influence upon a child I had (as their teacher) than their own parents had. And as a parent NOW how that causes trepidation w/in me. There's comfort in the fact that my influences could be seen as a positive one (much being evangelistic) BUT.... I also see that waning in the sch. systems as more persecution of christians becomes the politically correct thing to do. Am I accused of sheltering my children from the world?!?! I say "YOU BETCHA!" It's our responsibility as parents to give Godly nurture when they are young so that they're equipped "to be in the world & not of it" when they're older. I've seen all too many times in my teaching experience where children were given adult responsibilities only to fail (& logically so) & the negative consequences that formed a child's personality. And this is referring to kindergarteners! And private (christian) schs. aren't totally exempt from this either. Of course I've heard the gammet of excuses but none that has ever stumped out Heavenly Father! "Where there's His Will, there's a way!" That's been my conclusion. Always offering myself as a ministering vessel to any family desiring to give homeschooling a try. And it's been my personal experience so far, that none have regretted taking that step of parenting/pastoring/tutoring. So I guess it comes down to our family's personal testimony...of course the way our family came into being is testimony enough to others in seeing how important it is for us (as parents) in raising these "arrows" that God has blessed us with. I see in many cases how parents have had to re-evaluate their views of their own children & I'm surprised to see how many parents (esp christians) don't see their children as true gifts of God & have never even read the scriptures of God's view of children. Maybe that's why abortion has been "winked at" by much of the Kingdom! Thought for another thread there?!?!?! Well I've droned on.....hope some of this helps in sharing your home sch. philosophy.... Oh, another thought I've had in reading the other threads is this: Why do we esppouse the "unfairness" of a captive audience in sharing the Gospel when we send our most precious earthly treasures to be a captive audience 6 hrs daily, 6 days wkly to many who regard God as dead?!?!?! More to think about for me! KRC

-- Anonymous, December 17, 1999

Kathy, Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I was curious as to what other Home educators tell people when asked. It can be a hot bed of controversy no matter how loving you try to express your opinion. I have found that people want the kind of children that home schooling produces but when you tell them what needs to be done many don't want to pay the price. I think you kind of alluded to that when you said you have heard all the excuses. Perhaps this needs to be another thread as well. Thanks again and your last few sentences also raises an extremely interesting point! Anyone care to answer?

-- Anonymous, December 17, 1999