I need so help with what is going on with me.Ihave been lashing out at everyone lately. Ido not understand where all of my anger is coming from.Is because Iwas emotionly and phyologicly abused by my exwife.

-- Anonymous, November 23, 1999

Answers

I also found that I adopted the behaviour of the abusive relationship I was in. It's very disturbing. My suggestion is to talk about it with the folks on the safe-support mailing list. They're really great people, and they've all been through abuse and many of them through aftermath effects like this. To join this list, go to http:// www.dgp.utoronto.ca/~jade/safe/help.html

That page also lists many local resources, somes of which might be useful, depending on where you live.

-- Anonymous, November 23, 1999

There are therapists who deal specifically with anger management. I've seen advertisements for their services. Perhaps such a therapist could help you come to terms with the abuse of your past, and learn to control your anger now.

You have nothing to be embarrassed about if you seek professional help. How could anyone who's been through emotional abuse at the hands of a "loved one" not feel overwhelmed by it? Recognizing your need and getting help is the mature and sensible thing to do, both for yourself and all those who are close to you.

You seem to be on the right track in admitting you cannot control your emotions right now. But I don't believe that that is really your nature; it is the result of your previous abuse. You will never be totally "over" it, but if you are willing (and you sound as if you are) you can overcome the negative effects and learn from it.

Good luck.

-- Anonymous, March 20, 2000