So we found a place and I'm pretty sure we picked the date. I'm just waiting to make sure it doesn't conflict with another friends wedding and then we're going to book it.

Septemeber 9th, 2000 Bear Mountain Inn, Harriman NY

We really wanted October, but all the dates are booked. And we can have an outdoor ceremony in September.

I'm *SO* excited.

9/9/2000 -- be there!

-- Anonymous, November 01, 1999

Answers

The outdoor part of it is my favorite part. I'd been talking about that from the beginning and I'm so thrilled that Dave really likes it as well.

Yes, it's the big lodge right at the base of the mountain. I have an entry written about it as well as some pictures but I just haven't had time to post them. Hopefully tonight.

I'm pretty sure Dave is going to buy the ring this week. He'd have already bought it if I didn't get the bright idea that we could get a lot of frequent flyer miles from him charging it. I had to call my credit card company and make him an authorized user and get it sent home. It should be here by the end of the week.

And I love my little silver ring. He was SO incredibly sweet on the vacation. And he's be SO incredibly sweet since. Not that he's not sweet all the time, but it's been so much more lately.

And you should all mark the date! It's going to be so much fun!

-- Anonymous, November 03, 1999

Ah, I had it out with her yesterday. And I basically told her that I didn't appreciate her making such a big deal about this. In the end it was decided that she's going to be the matron of honor and Nan is going to be the maid of honor. Dave wasn't happy with my decision, because he's pretty upset with Leora but I sure was tired of dealing with her passive agressiveness. I know that's no reason, but I really don't want to deal with trying to explain it to her.

But we've also decided that Leora will be paired up with a groomsman and Nan will be with the best man.

I just feel sick over the whole situation. I'm not impressed with her acting like this, just like I wasn't impresssed when she acted like a child about her bachelorette party. What kind of friend is she?

I've got to think more about this issue with her. And especially since she made such a big deal about it and now it turns out that she's pregnant and I think she might not be at the wedding at all.

Ack, Friends!

-- Anonymous, December 02, 1999

Oh, here come more coincidences! I have said exactly that I wanted to be married at an Elivis Drive Thru wedding chapel in Las Vegas. I still may make Dave do it in addition to our regular wedding.

This whole Leora thing is crazy. She was crazy like this during her wedding so why would I think it would be different. According to her she's definitely pregnant, maybe two weeks or so. She said she took a home test and also a blood test and they were both positive. So if I add up the months she'll either have the baby two weeks before my wedding or she'll be late, as many first mothers are, and she will not even be at the wedding. And that has nothing to do with the fact that she'll be pregnant during my entire wedding planning. But she can get mad because I think she might just be a bridesmaid?

The whole situation turns my stomach. I have no idea how she thinks she's going to buy a dress for the wedding. She's trying to steer me towards options I dont want to take, like using a dressmaker or buying something from Macy's. I'm just not giving into it. I'm not making consession for my whole wedding for her. It's MY wedding and it doesn't revolve around her.

I'm absolutely not letting it get to me. I had it out with her and I made it clear that I thought she was making a big deal out of something that didn't have to be that big and that I thought she was being petty. I am not going through this with every thing with her.

It's so much easier that you can pick your sister. People never question it if you pick family. My friend Dawn did that. I'm pretty sure my sister is going to be in the wedding, but we are not that close. It would be bizarre to even my sister if I picked her to be the honor attendant. I've got Nan and that's all that matters. I know I can count on her and that she'll help me immensly.

And this whole thing with Leora not knowing her place in my life is pathetic. She said she feels like my second choice. I know it's not true, I love both my best friends for different reasons. But this petty-ness of her really turns me off. I mean, for gods sake, I'm only having three friends of all my friends in my wedding. I'm having Nan, Leora, Dawn as friends and then my sister and my cousin. She really needs to get over it.

Yay!, we're meeting Liz's family. Now we can bribe her so we won't tell them secrets :)

Don't worry, we'll act as normal as we possibly can. :)

-- Anonymous, December 02, 1999

Yay Colleen!

That's so awesome that you got the place you wanted! I'm pretty sure that I know this place -- It's that beautiful lodge right in Bear Mountain Park, right? I always loved that place as a kid.

And an outdoor wedding in September will be so lovely!

Boy, you guys are moving right along! What's next on your list? A dress? I can't wait to see it!

I'm already marking the date on my calendar!

Congratulations!

: ) Liz

PS -- That was just about the sweetest thing I read when you wrote about Dave buying you that silver ring in Arizona to "keep the spot warm." My guess is that you'll get the big one for the holidays -- although, I would love it if he did it before December so we can see it when you come down!

-- Anonymous, November 03, 1999

Coll, your dress is so beautiful! You looked like a princess in those pictures! I can't wait to see you in it in person!

And in another wacky coincidence in our world -- I did the same thing at David's Bridal when I was getting married. I went in thinking I wouldn't find anything. And everything seemed too fancy or tacky and then I found this one dress and it was absolutely gorgeous. I tried it on and I knew that I was done looking. I bought it that day. It was on sale too, but definitely not as good a sale as the one you got Coll!

Anyway, the dress is so beautiful! Congratulations!

-- Anonymous, November 17, 1999

Colleen, I'm so sorry you and Leora are having a thing about her place in the wedding party. I know she's a very good friend to you, but I don't like to see people having issues about this. It is your day and she should be honored to be up there with you at all, regardless of her position.

I'm actually worried about that myself. I was a maid of honor in one friend's wedding a few years back, but Cathy (Elise in the journal) is my best friend, and the person I would want to be my maid of honor. Frankly, if I were planning a wedding at the moment, they would share the title of honor attendants and they'd be the only two up there, just so I could avoid hurting anyone's feelings!!

-- Anonymous, November 30, 1999

This is why I'm getting married by an Elvis impersonator in Vegas. ;)

But, seriously, Colleen, I feel terrible for you about this whole Leora business. She's being very selfish. Especially considering she's been pretty sure that she was going to be pregnant for all or most of the planning of the wedding, not to mention maybe even the wedding itself. Is she definitely pregnant now? How is she going to be able to be in the wedding at all?

But, Coll, try not to let it get to you. You've been nothing but gracious and kind to her, and you are really trying to accomodate her wishes. Leora just needs to realize that just because Nan is very special to you, too, doesn't mean that she's any less special -- It just means that you were very blessed with two such good friends.

And I think it's a good idea to have Nan walk with the best man. Esp. since Leora is married and Nan will probably end up doing more of the actual duties of the Maid of Honor.

It's times like this that I'm glad I have a sister and that she and I are close. If I do end up having a traditional wedding (which I doubt I will but if I do), there will be no question of who the maid of honor will be, since it will be Jennifer and when it's family, people don't tend to question it so much. Speaking of my sister...Here's an added bonus to our weekend -- You guys will actually get to meet my sister and the rest of my family on Saturday. I know you're all just overjoyed aren't you? ; )

-- Anonymous, December 02, 1999