Do you have a marketing idea for Tampax?

-- Anonymous, October 28, 1999

Answers

Pamie--You're brilliant.

-- Anonymous, October 28, 1999

actually, not to be the pain in the ass, but i think it's 'tampax was there' and umm.. am i the only one who looked at the tv like whatthefuck? i mean, geez! yeah, just what i need more grrlie product ads i mean, really, i dont use tampons, i know too much info, but hey! i dont need it shoved in my damn face! its a choice dammit! and those things are not only strange and pretty gross, they are damn uncomfortable for me. so ill stick with my always utlra-thin extra long maxi's with new flexi-wings, thankyouverymuch!

-- Anonymous, October 28, 1999

I love the one you and your friend Becca made up! Talk about realistic.

I love Tampax, but their commercials are getting annoying.

-- Anonymous, October 28, 1999

question 1: are guys allowed in this forum topic? seriously, 'cuz I can leave. I mean, I just stopped in to poke my head and... can I... is it okay if I...? Should I stay? Is that...cool? Um......

question 2: isn't Woodstock 99 an odd choice to boldly proclaim Tampax's Manifest Destiny being that there were fires, looting and rapes going on? I mean I can understand "Limp Bizkit's Used Condoms Were There," but Tampax? Maybe Sarah McLachlan was being snippy and wouldn't let them use Lilith Fair for the spots. Just an opinion.

question 3: Should I go now?... I'll just be leaving here... I'll close the door on my way out, ladies... sorry for the... um... interruption...

-- Anonymous, October 28, 1999

A sledgehammer stuck thru a television set, and a bunch of stunned guys in various football logo shirts staring at it. Tampax was there.

A woman holding a smoking gun, and staring at a pair of men's underpants and socks lying on the floor not 2 feet from the hamper. Tampax was there.

-- Anonymous, October 28, 1999

My sister is an elementary-school teacher. Last year, this student's mom made little "ghost" pins and decorations for Halloween using tampons -- ob's being better than Tampax for this sort of thing because they have that nice rounded ghostly shape.

This year, Sis decided to use that concept to play a little joke on my mom, who'd let a bonsai tree die but it was still sitting there in the sunroom, bare and brown. She decided to create a "Halloween tree" and adorn it with tampons decorated to look like little ghosts. She looked around my mom's house for some tampons to use so Sis wouldn't have to actually spend money on this... lo and behold, Tampax was THERE.

Wouldn't this make a great commercial? Martha Stewart could be involved.

-- Anonymous, October 28, 1999

The way I knew my friends in high school were going to be my friends for life was when they helped me wreak revenge on a boy who was mean to me in 9th grade. We rolled his yard and my friend Julie (Jewels - I love you) took maxi pads and spelled the offending boy's name out in his driveway with them. Then she stuck the extras to trees in the yard. Then she left the empty box on his front porch. Not Tampax but another feminine hygene product was there.

-- Anonymous, October 28, 1999

.....okay, so i'm a bit off topic, but y'know.....this whole conversation about feminine products just had me thinkin'...how come we get such OBVIOUS names for our feminine products? I mean, VAGISIL??? c'mon, where's the creativity in that? "hmm...cream for vaginal itch....why don't we call it Vagisil?" and y'know damn well it was men comin' up with this.....bunch of old men in suits sittin' in the boardroom, thinkin' "outside the box." well, i wanna be in the boardroom when they market a new cream for penile itch - we're not gonna call it anythin' vaguely obscure, no way, honey. i'm jumpin' right in with the ideal name - Peenamint! If we gotta have Vagisil, they're havin' Peenamint. No more guessin' name games......Oh oh oh!!! and another thing!! What's with this Hooters restaurant? I'm openin' up one right next to it and i'm callin' it Boners. Yep. and i'm doin' the interviewin' and the uniforms will be g-string thingies....why the hell we gotta put up with Hooters and no one's done Boners yet, huh???

-- Anonymous, October 28, 1999

tee-hee.

becca sent a good one. check it out before it expires:

happy halloween.

-- Anonymous, October 28, 1999

Hmmm... Feminine Hygiene (sp? omigosh I think that's 2 errors in a row. Nothing looks right in print today.) product commercials absolutely, positively disgust me. I hate the blue water absorption tests, the wing-demonstration, and the "...imagaine if you had to hold your breath all day long" lines. Those segments are right up there on my "Least favorite Ad List" with hemmorhoid (sp? again) cream and the slice-of-life shots of getting back into life with Depends. So my take? Tampax has made it better. Even though I'm a Playtex girl. Other ideas?

A clip of a wedding ceremony. The music plays, the heavy doors open. Congregation swirls to glimpse the bride. Groom re-arranges himself in nervous anticipation. Switch to a shot of the open road, bride escaping with her new lover bedecked in a floofy bridesmaid's gown on a Harley. Tampax was there.

Or how about a dishevled bed. Flattened pillows, hot water bottle. A vommit bucket next to the bed. A selection of pain relievers and mug of cold tea on the nighttable. A moan of pain from the en-suite. Tampax was there.

My favorite? A junior high gym class full of snickering kids. A young girl bolts from the scene to the changing room. You see her slam the door of a girls' room stall. Hear her sob. Tampax was there.

Damn men and their painless lives anyhow.

-- Anonymous, October 28, 1999

Hmmm... Feminine Hygiene (sp? omigosh I think that's 2 errors in a row. Nothing looks right in print today.) product commercials absolutely, positively disgust me. I hate the blue water absorption tests, the wing-demonstration, and the "...imagaine if you had to hold your breath all day long" lines. Those segments are right up there on my "Least favorite Ad List" with hemmorhoid (sp? again) cream and the slice-of-life shots of getting back into life with Depends. So my take? Tampax has made it better. Even though I'm a Playtex girl. Other ideas?

A clip of a wedding ceremony. The music plays, the heavy doors open. Congregation swirls to glimpse the bride. Groom re-arranges himself in nervous anticipation. Switch to a shot of the open road, bride escaping with her new lover bedecked in a floofy bridesmaid's gown on a Harley. Tampax was there.

Or how about a dishevled bed. Flattened pillows, hot water bottle. A vommit bucket next to the bed. A selection of pain relievers and mug of cold tea on the nighttable. A moan of pain from the en-suite. Tampax was there.

My favorite? A junior high gym class full of snickering kids. A young girl bolts from the scene to the changing room. You see her slam the door of a girls' room stall. Hear her sob. Tampax was there. And so was I.

Damn men and their painless lives anyhow.

-- Anonymous, October 28, 1999

How about a whole series of "tampax WASN'T there ... too bad!" ads:

Junior high dance, Stairway to Heaven is playing, and couples are swaying all over the gym. Close-up on girls ass, sheathed in skin-tight ditto-arched pants, with the clear outline of a big, fat pad bursting forth. Boy's hands creep down and start gripping and cupping, but then encounter monster pad and then creep back up, off-screen. "Tampax Wasn't There."

or

Start with close-up of Japanese flag, pull back to reveal perfect red dot on back of girl's white leotard as she saunters out onto a stage to do an interpretive dance to "Like a Virgin" for senior talent night. "Tampax Wasn't There."

Etcetera.

-- Anonymous, October 28, 1999

Wasn't there a scene in Patton where he's talks about how his spirit was at all of the great military campaigns in history?

George C. Scott as Tampax:
When the Battle of Gettysburg turned the tide of the Civil War... Tampax was there... when Wellington beat Napoleon at Waterloo... Tampax was there... when General George Washington, Military Commander of the American Revolution for independence from the yoke English colonialism... pistol-whipped a soldier caught trying to desert... Tampax was there...

-- Anonymous, October 28, 1999

Int. Subway (anybody else get annoyed by the scene intros on the show 'Action'?) Montage of various designs of graffiti "Tampax wuz her" with cool tags. Then you see a giant tampon with a colored bandana, shades, and a can of spray paint running from the cops.

On a related topic, how about the shampoo/conditioner commercials with the "men will do anything for you if you use our product" tag? One guy proudly brings back cases of tampons, explaining, "They had a sale." Another (my favorite) is a little shorter and just has a guy walk into a gas station and say like a goofy dumb-boy, "I'm lost". Funny thing is, I've done those things, and I can assure you it wasn't due to the conditioner my girlfriend used.

-- Anonymous, October 29, 1999

A little yellow dog, panting and grinning in a corner. An overturned trash bin. Red and white fuzz all over the carpet. Tampax was here.

-- Anonymous, October 29, 1999