All this talk about new cats has got my mind rolling, and I made my boyfriend go to the Humane Society with me yesterday to look at cats. AS we were looking he asked me, "Is it better to have a male cat or a female cat?" I have no idea!!

It's always been my understanding that male cats will spray, but do they still do this after they have been neutered?

I have one cat now, she is a spayed female.. Do you think it would be better to introduce her to another spayed female, or a neutered male? And, should we opt for a cat that is around her age (2 years old), or should we get a younger kitten?

-- Anonymous, October 24, 1999

Answers

Angela,

In my experience, I have had the best luck with fixed females. The males CAN spray even after they are neutered, if they aren't snipped before they discover how to do it. I have 2 females that adapted well to each other, whereas my mother has two males that have lived together for 8 years now and still hate each other's guts, fighting every day. Not sure how a male/female combo would do. I was once told by a vet that orange tabbies are the friendliest cats. I don't really know what in the world the color of a cat's fur could possibly have to do with its temperament, but all the oranges I have known certainly were friendly and meshed well with other cats.

It's all subjective though. Two of the nicest kitties in the world can become completely hateful and obnoxious if they don't like each other. I had tried my first cat with 3 different kittens before the one we ended up with, but gave them all back because I feared she would kill them eventually. Good luck!

-- Anonymous, October 25, 1999

I have had four male house cats, all neutered before they were a year old, and I've never had them spray, not even once. I've known other people with that problem, but I don't know how or why it happened. I have also had four spayed females, and they didn't spray, either.

Generally speaking, I prefer male cats. All four of my male cats were sweethearts, and they mostly got along with other cats. None of my female cats have liked other cats at all -- Sally puts up with the boys because they're bigger and older, but she's very pissy with them. I think neutered males are more affectionate but inclined to be clingy, whereas females are more independent.

When my two older males die, I will probably get a male kitten to keep the girl cat company -- even though she won't like it. I think she'll tolerate a male cat, though, and she would never put up with another female.

-- Anonymous, October 25, 1999

Whooo -- got a good laugh over that "friendly" orange tabby post. I hate to frighten you, but in my experience, females can "spray" too. When my fixed, female, orange tabby cat was around eight, we brought home a cute little male kitten. My cat did NOT like the new kitten. Someone started spraying furniture and cabinets all over the house, so we immediately suspected the new boy, who had not yet been spayed/neurtered (which is it for males?). He was punished with bathroom imprisonment on numerous occasions. That is, until we caught our female cat "spraying" red-handed. She would back up to the given target, shimmy her hips a little and "leave her mark" about eight inches up the surface. I can't imagine how she physically was capable of that, but I witnessed it firsthand. Apparently she was exhibiting a territorial instinct to mark her area given the introduction of the newcomer (that or trying to frame him). She did the same thing a few years later when a new female joined our household. It eventually stopped on its own in both instances. For the record, be careful if you introduce two adult females. My now-18-year-old orange cat has never become friends with the female we adopted nine years ago, even though the younger cat has tried repeatedly to show her affection. The older cat tolerates the younger one, but that's it. She has just in the last couple of years gotten to where the younger cat can sit on the other end of the couch opposite her. Before that, she'd vacate any furniture the younger cat joined her on. And occasionally, very occasionally, the younger cat is allowed close enough to sniff her tail. Amazingly, both girls got along fine with the male, who now lives with my Dad. Don't get me wrong, my orange girl is a sweetie to me, she just doesn't like very many other cats. She does, however, tolerate three big dogs stepping all over her and licking her with ease.

-- Anonymous, October 25, 1999

Okay, I have one of each so I have to jump on this bandwagon. I got the male first, had him neutered at the earliest possible age. I got the female as a kitten one year later and her spayed at the earliest age.

THEY BOTH SPRAY. I have witnessed both of them personally. I had a big problem in the house when other cats were coming around the yard and tormenting mine through the window. No problem now in a second story apartment. They get along well with each other but not other cats.

The female is the top cat even though she was second, is smaller and female. The male is much more clingy and the female is independent as someone else said.

I think tabbies in general are sweet-natured no matter what color. I want a Maine Coon, anyone have one of those?

I would recommend a neutered male cat around the same age as your female. I think it is hard for an adult to accept a baby kitten. The kitten usually gets all the "He's sooo cuuuute"s and torments the adult who isn't as playful. This is a recipe for resentment IMHO.

-- Anonymous, October 26, 1999

I say get the youngest female you can get. I have a 12-year-old female calico named Friday who, as a kitten, loved our (now departed) male tom-cat but began fearing other cats when we got this psycho male that tormented her until I took her away from all that. Last week someone at work brought in a litter of 7-week-old kittens and somehow I brought one home (really, I didn't want her but neither did anyone else). I wouldn't even have attempted it if the kitten had been a male but since she's a girl I thought it might work because Friday would always be dominant. That's usually how it works with females: the first one in the house is the dominant one and age makes a big difference to cats, too.

I introduced them to each other right away and it was love at first sight, for the kitten at least. Friday seemed cool with the whole thing until the kitten tried to nurse on her and that's where she drew the line. I don't have any qualms with playing favorites. I made sure that Friday had help from us in establishing dominance so she wouldn't feel slighted. She gets fed first, she gets petted first and the kitten gets removed from the room if she's wearing Friday out. Friday knows she's still the queen. The kitten loves Friday so much she doesn't mind.

And it's going really well. The kitten, now called Hallow, gets a good lecture and bath from Friday when she's getting too rambunctious (the licking really seems to calm the kitten). Friday is also getting very protective of Hallow. Friday hates water baths more than anything so when I've given Hallow a little rinse off--and she starts that howl--Friday comes to her rescue and glares at me scornfully. Hallow hides behind Friday for protection; they have quite an alliance.

That's not to say there isn't a fair amount of hissing but I know Friday and if she was really, truley pissed off she would be hiding in the basement and the truth is she never lets the kitten out of her sight. Friday can also really hurt when she wants to (she usually draws blood when she gets her weekly grooming) but she rarely even raises a paw at the kitten. Also, Friday, who had been getting quite stiff with old age, is no longer limping from arthritis and is a lot more alert.

Good luck!

Kat

-- Anonymous, October 27, 1999

Weeellll....

I just wanted to give an update or two on the kitty situation :)

I appreciated the advice everyone gave me so much about males vs. female kitties... We tried to get a kitty through a local humane society, but had problems because we lived in the next county over and they were anal about it... So we looked in the paper and found a woman who adopts cats out, and she just happened to have a litter at her house today...

We went to look at them... my boyfriend held a cute little black and white spotted kitty who was a boy, and I held an all black female cat... You know the punchline don't you? :)

Since we got equal feedback on the pros and cons of both boys vs. girls we got one of each :) The girl's name is Willow, and we haven't thought of a name for the boy yet... but he's really silly :) heheh Anyhow, there will be more of an update and (hopefully) pics on my website soon... you can email me for the addy if you wish..

Thanks!!

-- Anonymous, October 27, 1999