Liz wrote to Elizabeth...

As for being single -- it's so funny, you know, because there are days that I would give my right eye to be single again. Meanwhile, when I was single, I would have given that same eye to be in a relationship! But either way, try not to let it get you down too much! I know it's hard, but you're a great girl and I hate to see you being hard on yourself! : )

-- Anonymous, October 06, 1999

Answers

Melissa said...Being single sucks. Being in an uncertain relationship sucks. Getting dumped sucks. But then, you all know this from reading my journal. :-)

Elizabeth, have you ever thought about a personal ad? I know, it seems pretty pathetic and scary--but I got lucky, and had other good prospects other than Matt. My friend Erica is dating three men she met because they answered her ad. And my friend Ellen seems to be having good luck. Anita of Anita's Book of Days also met her boyfriend of over a year through Yahoo Personals.

-- Anonymous, October 06, 1999

Melissa wrote...

I'm serious--try the personal ad. And the more creative you get with it, the better your responses are. The good thing about ads is that you can be as picky as you want because you're not seeing the guys. I was weeding out on the basis of spelling at one point. :-)

I know it's depressing, though. I mean, it may not seem like it, since you all know I've been involved in one relationship after another, but I'd rather be single for ten years than go through what I went through with Michael.

-- Anonymous, October 06, 1999

Yes, I think this is a good idea too. My mom is doing it through a couple of web places. Sometimes she meets someone nice, sometimes someone a little weird, but she's having fun and meeting new people. I did a personal ad once a while back with Leora, back when the internet was nothing and we used the newspaper. It was a lot of fun even if we didn't meet anyone that we ended up dating. We got to go out and hone our dating skills. We had some fun times playing pool or talking with these guys.

-- Anonymous, October 06, 1999

Those entries you wrote about that really cracked me up. When leora and I did it we were weeding them out on the basis of their voice. If they sounded the slightest bit creepy or said something weird we deleted their messages. It's much easier to weed them out when you have something they've written or said. When you meet guys in a bar they all seem sort of interesting, out laughing with their friends. When you get stuck on a date with them and they turn into an insufferable bore it's really bad.

-- Anonymous, October 06, 1999

Yes, same with me and the Pat situation. I'd rather cut off both my arms then go through that again. I really considered never dating again.

-- Anonymous, October 06, 1999

Elizabeth wrote....

I have thought about it actually. I think they really are losing their stigma, and I know some people who've had luck with them too. But I'm not there yet. I know it sounds like an excuse, but the truth is that the next eight months are going to be hell, and then I'm moving. I know I should do it without an expectation of seriousness... maybe just to get out there and kind of practice, I guess. But I don't have the confidence in myself, not yet.

-- Anonymous, October 06, 1999

Elizabeth wrote...

I know, the grass is always greener, isn't it? :) I have a lot of friends who claim to be jealous of me, but I just don't see it!!

-- Anonymous, October 06, 1999

Elizabeth wrote...

I know vicariously how hard that is. Many a time have I had friends crying on my shoulder, and I know that the silver lining is that I haven't had to go through that. I had a very minor version of it with the ex-boyfriend-type-person in CA (his name was Gary, by the way) but that was so weird and different and I really didn't know what was going on, plus I was about to move so my mind was really elsewhere. I'll tell you more about him at our weekend!

-- Anonymous, October 06, 1999

You should think about it eventually. In fact, you may want to start by advertising for someone who wants to play tennis, or is looking to lose weight--an activity partner, I think they call it on Yahoo. Very low pressure. There are lots of wary men out there too. Trust me.

-- Anonymous, October 06, 1999

That's a good reason for taking it slow! Sounds to me like you've got a good head on your shoulders about your life right now and you know what you can handle. So when things calm down a little and you're settled, you'll know what you're looking for and how to find it!

-- Anonymous, October 06, 1999