Some time back, I gave "table-dancing" as an entry on a post-Y2K employment thread. I'm quite sure I referenced the Russian sex industry - practically the only one that pays in currency - as buoyant and prospering amid the smoking rubble of their economy. Even soldiers have abandoned soldiering for the clubs.

You seem to think I want to go from systems analyst to table-dancer. Let me clarify, and then please never bring it up again.

The four possibilities circa the rollover:

* I keep my job and full salary. Kickass.

* I keep my job but lose salary. Oh well.

* I lose my job and have to live on half my current income. (My daughter and I are prepared for this, BTW, with no noticeable change in comfort level.)

* I have to dance on tables in order to make the mortgage and feed us.

Note that dancing comes in dead last, but is an option. Not a preference, OK?

Chuck, feel free to delete this thread after she responds to it.

-- lisa (lisa@work.now), September 21, 1999

Answers

I should probably add that heretofore I have never danced on a table for money.

-- lisa (lisa@work.now), September 21, 1999.

Why delete? This is relevant to post Y2K survival/industry. Lisa, do not ever be ashamed of doing what you have to do to feed your family. This is a sick culture that shames women while at the same time exploiting them. If that is the only thing going in a crashed and burned economy and if someone will pay to watch you shake your groove thing, you go girl. Make that double standard work for you. I would just recommend some kind of cowgirl costume, but make the gun in your holster a real one.

-- (dancing@ontables.money), September 21, 1999.

Lisa,

Look, I hope no one is reduced to "the full Monty" and any situation that they are not comfortable with. Fact is, we are faced with much higher unemployment next year even if ALL the systems they are working on are fixed.

"Mission Critical" systems have averaged just 9% of the total. Businesses will seek to drop systems and the corresponding employees rather than spend TEN TIMES what they have already spent on Y2K. If they all do it, they suffer NO competitive disadvantage. Pity the "redundant" workers!

Lisa, thank heaven that you have the body, figure, and courage to provide for your daughter in that extreme situation. Most do not and there will be breadlines

-- K. Stevens (kstevens@ It's ALL going away in January.com), September 21, 1999.

I should probably also add that Anita has been calling me a reprobate on various fora since I wrote it - hence the clarification.

Thanks guys, don't think I'll have to fire up Plan D, but you never know!

-- lisa (lisa@work.now), September 21, 1999.

Lisa,

Though I have absolute confidence that your physical attributes would suit you well, if this were the only option left to take, I personally feel that the quality of your mind makes this last option highly unlikely : )

Mike

=================================================================

-- Michael Taylor (mtdesign3@aol.com), September 21, 1999.

The reality is that it is highly doubtful that there will be any "table dancing" jobs available when TSHTF. People will be far too busy trying to stay alive to concern themselves with such luxuries. Better advice would be to sharpen your hunting skills and get a nice garden growing than to worry about whether you'll be dancing on tables or not.

-- (its@coming.soon), September 21, 1999.

Michael... your wife is a LUCKY woman!

Lisa... buy lots of non-hybrid veggie seed packets... as job-layoff insurance. Then, if needed, organize a community garden, a bucket watering brigade, weeding teams... and a local farmer's market.

I guarantee... you won't have to dance on tables to be fed!

;-D

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), September 21, 1999.

What does Lisa do while the garden grows? Usually takes 60-90 days from planting to harvest. Keep on dancing if that's where you can make the most $$$$.

-- ~~~~ (~~~@~~~.com), September 21, 1999.

Diane, thanks : )

But, I'm the lucky one really, blessed beyond what I deserve and very thankful every day.

Mike

==================================================================

-- Michael Taylor (mtdesign3@aol.com), September 21, 1999.

Lisa, I saw that post and thought it was funny. Reminded me of when I used to say I'd have to go to the corner on Navy payday to raise some money. Also reminded me of way back when I had to wear a miniskirt and go-go boots at my waitress job--I was a divorced mom then. I didn't dance on tables but got treated pretty much as if I did. (Good tips, though.) People who don't think your comment funny have never had to scrape for money, I guess.

-- Old Git (anon@spamproblems.com), September 21, 1999.

honestly guys--i am a doomer but find it hard to believe we will not recover from this--ever!!?? we have to -- don't we? i figured i would be busy with "reconstitution" and rebuilding infrastructures and all those non-compliant non-mission critical systems everyone has ignored. so you think the world will be one big mass of seething nuclear, chemical, disease-ridden, gun-toting, mutant yuKK? gosh i hope not. plus, actually, i don't think so yet. bible says that everyone will be living day to day life, getting married, saying "peace peace", etc when the lord returns--so it will be a time of prosperity and normal living. that says to me we will recover. so i hope for you sake lisa you don't give up your current day job yet.

-- tt (cuddluppy@yahoo.com), September 21, 1999.

It was meant for both humor and sadness, OG, pity for the Russians but trying to underscore that those economic conditions are possible, yes, even here in the US. Not necessarily probable, but possible.

I worked at country clubs, bars and restaurants while putting myself thru college - no go-go boots, but yep, you're still meat.

Well-paid meat, relative to stocking grocery shelves at night, though.

-- lisa (lisa@work.now), September 21, 1999.

-- ~~~~ (~~~@~~~.com),

The "trick" is to be prepared with an alternate stored food supply... enough to take you through first harvest. Or to Fall harvest... IF... you really plan on being "Pre-pared."

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), September 21, 1999.

Lisa

Any lady whose greatest wish is to land a 5-pound black bass would empty my pockets at the dancing tables. Can we see a picture first though?? :-)

Deano

-- Deano (deano@luvthebeach.com), September 21, 1999.

"Toldya, Chris"

Thanks for rubbing it in ;-) I tend to learn the hard way, please forgive my harsh words.

...hey Lisa, if it comes down that both you and me have to dance on tables to earn a living, lets team up. We could imagine we're dancing for the FRLians and actually enjoy our job ;-)

-- Chris (#$%^&@pond.com), September 21, 1999.

Heck, yeah, Chris, and, Deano: I'll be accepting 5-lb black bass as tips as well as 1/10 gold coins!

-- lisa (lisa@work.now_the_dignified_type), September 21, 1999.

A picture of the bass, Deano? Or Lisa?

-- Vic (Rdrunner@internetwork.net), September 21, 1999.

Uh, Lisa, I don't think a black bass in the garter would be an especially good look.

-- DaveW (dwood@southwind.net), September 21, 1999.

Lisa & Chris, why even THINK of lowering yourselves to table dancing, when you could make a lot more money mudwrestling? Along with the respect and admiration that comes from being roll models.

-- King of Spain (madrid@aol.com), September 21, 1999.

Did the waiter thing in a German-themed restaurant 20-mumble years ago. Us guys had to wear lederhosen and the gals wore the above-the-knee skirts with those rather strange vests (reference the waitress' outfits on the sitcom "Jessie"). Everybody had to sing - heck, they held auditions as part of the hiring process.

Food was very good, tips were equally good, it certainly paid the bills, but it was also most definitely an equal-opportunity ogle from the customers (and the occasional pinch while trying to serve some older lady her Hassenpfeffer mit Rostkartofflen).

Ah, memories of youthful employment...

-- Mac (sneak@lurk.hid), September 21, 1999.

Vic

Good one! Got a chuckle outa me.

I've seen big (b)ass before.......:-)

Deano

-- Deano (deano@luvthebeach.com), September 21, 1999.

Lisa: I agree with Deano. A picture is in order. Or at least give us your principals, ie age, weight/height, hair color, measurements, number of crooked/missing teeth, supermodel you most closely resemble, etc.

-- a (a@a.a), September 21, 1999.

who says doomers don't have a sense of humor?

Mac in lederhosen?

No, no!!!!!!! say it isn't so!!!!!!!! Have you no shame? : )

Lisa, Chris, I'll be happy to create a whole identity package for your new business. Barter could provide for interesting possibilities if I wasn't such a gentlemnan...dagnabbit. Ok...how about some non-hybrid seeds? At least my wife would let me sleep in the house.

Mike

=================================================================

-- Michael Taylor (mtdesign3@aol.com), September 21, 1999.

KoS--ROLL model?? What else could I do but ROTFLMAO at that?! BTW, you're the biggest mudder I know!

-- Old Git (anon@spamproblems.com), September 22, 1999.

Non-hybrid seeds will do just fine Michael, thank you. You're a perfect example of why I said dancing for the FRLians would be a pleasure ;-)

KOS, I'll never understand your spanish ways.

-- Chris (#$%^&@pond.com), September 22, 1999.

Yeah Mac,

The memories! During the college and early beyond daze I used to waitress n hostess at various restaurants to make extra school money (even in a Casino once). One was a Chinese theme in Old Town Sacramento. Those were the shortest theme uniforms of my waitperson experience!

But imagining you, knocker-keeded, singing, in lederhosen, has me LOL & ROTF!!

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), September 22, 1999.

If you see table dancing as an option,why not consider giving oral sex as an option?The pay'll be better,and much more demand.A woman's body is her own to do with what she will.It's idiot men causing the market demand.

-- apokoliptik (apokoliptik@large.com), September 23, 1999.