I have a male friend who is the victim of spousal abuse but has been falsely accused and convicted of it himself. The state of California previously convicted and put his wife on probation for spousal abuse and out of revenge beat herself up and called 911 from a different location other than their home and said her husband beat her up. His public defender(his former lawyer drained him financially dry and then dropped him after doing nothing)told him to plead guilty of simple assault as any defense such as holding her down would make him guilty of this. Are there any attorneys out there who care more for justice than money and is there any legal aid for this man?

-- Anonymous, September 15, 1999

Answers

My brother-in-law also lives in California and is going through something similar. He has been charged with six counts of sexual abuse, three for purportedly his ex-wife during the time they were married and three for assaulting his daughter after the divorce. The mere fact that he has been charged means he has been denied all access to his four children and has not had any visitation or contact with any of them for nearly two years. In their civil action his ex-wife has been convicted of contempt of court and three separate psychological assessments of the mother and father have shown the father is an excellent parent but the mother is seriously disturbed and is bent on alienating the children from their father. She has been convicted in court of assaulting her subsequent now ex-husband and she has been convisted for mischeif in making false allegations of abuse against that same husband. Unfortunately the DA in my BIL's case is refusing to drop the charges even though he has been offering plea bargain after plea bargain. The first plea bargain was that is my BIL pleaded guilty to the lessor charges of sexual touching the others would be dropped. The most recent one is that if he pleads guilty to a single charge of nonsexual common assult against his wife all other charges against him will be dropped. My brother has changed lawyers twice because he refuses to plead guilty to that which he did not do after talking to a few men who claimed that they too were also falsely accused but they pleas bargained to end the nightmare. These menthen reproted that their convictions were used in civil court to deny all access to their children and place them into severely disadvantaged postiions in their divorce settlements as well as saddling themselves with debilitating criminal records. It took him $5000 in legal fees simply to realise he needed a lawyer who would not try to convince him to plea bargain and he has spent an additional $10 000 to date in legal fees in the ongoing battle. The DA is determined to be as punitive as possible and has done many thing designed to wear him down, raise his legal fees, and extend the time he is denied access to his children. This same DA is also working handin glove with a Women's Advocacy group that is supporting his ex-wife by offering therapy and "helping" the daughter to overcome her denial about the abuse she endured during access with her father. The judge in my BIL case has urged the DA to drop the whole thing since the evidence is flimsy at best and the wife is not a creditable witness and the evidence given by the daughter is contradictory and improbable. Nonetheless the case is moving to trial this October. This will likely cost my BIL in excess of $15 000 and not one of the charges have been dropped in spite of the plea bargains he has been offered and the evidence being dug up by his new attorney, evidence like hospital records showing he was not present at the time one of the assaults pruportedly took place and could not have been because his child was in an intensive care unit for severe dehydration that occured under her mother's care. My opinion from following this case is that there is no justice in California. A man is guilty until proven innocent and unless he has financial resources and great emotional strength he will be convicted on the mere word of a woman because there is an unholy alliance between man hating women's advocacy groups and the prosecutors office. Men are guilty until proven innocent and the system will severely punish any man who tries to fight it. I don't know why this is but it likely has something to do with the fact that DAs are elected in California and so have to appear to support "women's issues" in order to get elected which means reacting to all men as if theey are abusers and all women as if they are victims because that is the current perceived paradigm. As a woman it makes me very ashamed of my gender. Your friend has no hope for justice in the present system. I would advise him to roll over, give up, and cut the best deal he can. His only alternative is years of fighting and years of facing court action after court action. If he does decide to fight I would suggest trying to find a good private investigator. They do an excellent job finding dirt on the ex-wife, much better than a lawyer can, and they are paid a lower hourly rate than any lawyer. What the PI finds can then be used by even a marginally competant lawyer in his defense. I would also say, if you are going to fight it, never ever ever admit to something you didn't do, no matter how tempting the plea bargain might be. As for my BIL, we have every confidence that once the whole thing goes to trial and it is presented to a jury of his peers my BIL wil be found innocent. he can then go back to civil court and challenge his no access order and likely win. he may even win custody of his children. But what shape will they be in after at least three years of no contact of any kind with him and life with an abusive disturbed woman bent on alinating the kids? He will be lucky I think if their are peices left to try to pick up.

-- Anonymous, September 16, 1999

I would go to the police station based on her previous charges and convictions and file a new mischief charge against her. If possible I would check into malicious prosecution charges against the prosecutors office and also file a complaint at the California equivalent of a state Human Rights office based on discrimination re: gender. It is unlikely that any of the above would be successful (so don't use a lawyer- do it yourself) because more that likely you will be faced with bias. However, the only thing that seems to make the justice systems stop and listen is a legal process, whether or not you go through it to completion. Good Luck.

-- Anonymous, January 08, 2000

Thank you so much for the story of your friend. I'm going through the same thing with an X girl friend. I wanted her out of my house. She called the cops and had me arrested. All she said to them is I hit her, and away I went. I didn't do these things she said. The Med report Proves it. the cops didn't even take pitures of her at the seen. the Victim wittness Group dropped her by saying no comment. But, the DA won't look at the evidence under the motion of discovery. Even under the orders of the judge, he refuses to look at it until we go to trial, on april 2, 2001. This all happened back on Dec. 1, 1999. I would like to know how your friend came out of this. Could you please let me know soon, unless it's still going on. I believe your friend can sue all the powers that be under Malicious Prociqution, False Arrest, Unlawful Detention,False Imprisonment. If your friend is smart, he will sue his x-wife for Perjury, and makeing false statements to a police agency, and the DAs office. This is the Avenue that I'm going to take when I get Exonerated. If you contact the Monterey Academy of Law they Will help you with the Paper Work. I'm am going to do my Civil Action with as little help from An Attorney as possible. The Defence Attorney I have did me no favors from the beginning. Now I find out through My PI that him and the DA have a tainted past about one other. Any way I would Appreciate any information that you have, and if you have anything I can help you with let me know. Thank you for your time.

-- Anonymous, March 07, 2001

I don't fill so alone my X lied about everything now getting it And ery time I go in and take to he he says $300.00 I will see you in court.Thats what I am looking for now some way to get back and I don't mean together

-- Anonymous, August 04, 2002

I am in the process of being Falsely Charged right now. And I am at my wit's end. I have NO idea why this vendictive woman despises me SO SO SO much. But I do not think I can handle going to jail and being seperated from my family. She if filing HUGE criminal charges and I did not do anything to deserve this. This happened over a phone conversation. I asked her if she had poisened my food or pills because a doctor said I could have been poisened. Next thing you know false charges are coming up on me. I CANNOT CANNOT handle being in jail when I did nothing to deserve it. What do I do??? I do not think even the best lawyer could overcome her malicious lying words. What is worse is her innocent father backs her up not knowing how deceptive his daughter is. Most women are normal and nice. This one is nuts. We both went out with the same person years ago. I think she is still bitter about it since this person dumped her. If anyone can come up with advice on what to do when falsely charged. I am going nuts so if you have advice please let me know. My screen name is RedangelRdnglsky@aol.com

-- Anonymous, October 04, 2002

For starters, read my story at this site. It's John #1. The system will frustrate you at every turn. You must keep your head. Stay calm and always be truthful. Try to discover anything you can get your hands on that proves that she is unstable. Also document how the "system" is biased against you. This can be helpful in court. For example, you could call a police office who falsely arrests you to the stand to explain why it happened. A picture is painted with each little bit of info that you present. Call that Dr to the stand to say he suspected possible poisoning. Just keep in mind that the legal system is going to work against you but stay cool and with the right judge (luck of the draw) you will prevail. Ron

-- Anonymous, October 08, 2002