If you answered yes to both questions, tell me how in the hell you manage it.

Unless you're going to say something silly like "I don't spend nine hours a day on the Internet, and while you, Beth, are watching Buffy, I'm polishing the silver." Because common sense makes me grumpy.

-- Anonymous, September 08, 1999

Answers

I don't have the answer I'm afraid, but sounds like you and Pamie are having the same messy-house-experience. Be thankful it isn't taking over your mind like hers appears to be! Cool journal BTW Beth - I just started reading a week ago and now I am hooked! I have read all this archive plus lots of 'If You See Her . .'. You have also gottne me hooked on Pamie's journal!

-- Anonymous, September 08, 1999

Since common sense makes you grumpy (or more grumpy than usual?), I won't tell you how to have both fun and a reasonably clean home, not to mention a tidy space at work, but I can assure you, it is possible!

-- Anonymous, September 08, 1999

You kiddin' me? Fun fun fun!

This is a huge bone of contention between my partner and me - he's the tidy one, contrary to our supposed gender roles.

-- Anonymous, September 08, 1999

my dorm room is clean. and i'm having fun. but that's cause i haven't moved in yet, and my room at home is clean because i'm all packed up.

just wait til the fun starts in earnest. then half eaten jars of peanut butter, syllabi for class from two terms ago, and about six pairs of shoes will take up residence on the floor, my desk won't be able to be seen from the doorway, and my computer will have about 800 postit notes stuck on it.

the fun wins every time.

-- Anonymous, September 08, 1999

it's a toss up really.

i mean, it depends on how clean/tidy you really want it to be. i like things to be, you know, not dirty, but i don't care about the whole "spotless" deal. and i hate it when there's crap on the table, so that you can't use the table. or like stuff on the floor so you can't walk. that's what cupboards and closests are for. just shove it in there and close the door.

i think if i had enough actual storage, i could have a tidier place. every time i've had to live in my bedroom, while renting or in my mothers house like now, my room has always been a complete disaster and i never give a damn about the rest of the house. but when i shared an entire house with two other girls, it was always really clean. both the house and the room. and when i say clean, i don't mean you could eat off of the floor. i mean there was like one bowl in the kitchen sink and some papers on the coffee table and some clothes on my bedroom chair and it needed a good vacuuming. that was fine with me.

i want it clean enough to live. i don't want to live to clean.

-- Anonymous, September 08, 1999

Oh lordy, my house is currently owned by Roving Bands of Dog Hair. They have little communities; they vote; the citezens have parties. One of the unruly knots of hair approached me and chastized me for not paying taxes.

I have had friends just begging to use my toilet and have said no. Or "close your eyes"

One very tall friend isn't very welcome in my home because he can see the tops of things I would rather not thing about. And he looks through the dining room windows into the bedroom. (Old apartment, basically they kept the windows and the brick wall when they added on a back room.)

This week is the Mighty Purging of Stuff. Followed by the Amazing Cleaning Session this weekend. I'm going to move by spring (whether to another apartment or to another city) and I'm sick of all my crap. My messy crap. I'm not trying to do that simplify your life thing. I'm trying to do that keep the dust bunnies from arresting you thingie.

I've noticed that it's hard for me to stay motivated to clean when it's just me that will experience the filth.

-- Anonymous, September 08, 1999

"roving bands of Dog Hair"! OH, yes!

The kittens started digging under the fridge first thing and brought out dust monsters three times their size!

I vote "fun, fun, fun." Then my tidy daughter comes to visit (but she has a cleaning service, is how she keeps her place so nice) or my tidy sister, and I have nerves and cleaning fits for a week or so, and am impossible to live around.

Since I intend to leave this house vertically, I hope to have it clean by then. We'll see. Meanwhile, I want to read Beth's journal instead.

-- Anonymous, September 08, 1999

Well, it really depends on who is asking me to go out and do something... if it's someone that I'm sick of and can't imagine spending the evening with, I will back out, and stay home and ATTEMPT to do the dishes. But if it's something like a camping trip or a movie, I am so there, dishes be damned. (=

OUR problem is the whole storage space that someone mentioned. Jake and I, for the past 2 years, have been living in a house that is really meant for one person. No pets. There's TWO of us, obviously, and now three cats. It's a BIT crowded. Our kitchen is no longer just a kitchen, it's a kitchen/dining room/computer room/storage room. We eat out a lot, cuz it's not a comfortable place for us to cook. Insantiy.

We're trying DESPERATELY to move as we speak, but haven't been able to find anything. If you know of any good three bedroom places in the sacramento area that take pets, you would be my hero! (=

-- Anonymous, September 08, 1999

I am 59 years old and it seems that everyone my age has a clean house.....everyone but me! I feel bad, but not too bad!! My philosophy has always been that having fun is more important than a clean house! Having fun can be defined different ways: having fun is making 4 quarts of tomato juice....but then I really should have wiped down the stove afterwards. Having fun is gardening....but then I should have picked up the piles of weeds I pulled. I also have accumulated too much stuff over the years and am currently sorting and throwing things away. You see, my husband passed away, and I can't nag him to clean out his closet or throw things away ...he kept just about everything.....old bills, even old ad inserts that were in the bills.....complete contents of desks from previous jobs...just tons of stuff....and it's up to me now to sort and discard. It will take a couple of years I figure. If I can throw enough away, then perhaps I will have room to store the things I want to keep. However, I am also storing the household possessions of one daughter who is vagabonding around Europe for a year. Her things are filling her bedroom and my living room. I also still have half a room full of things belonging to Heather (of the Nid) even though I drove a car chock full of her things from Indiana to California this summer. I also have 8 cats so there is a lot of fur and vomit to keep up with. They also slide across tables and knock things on the floor. Ah, well, they are my company...so what harm in a little fur? If I had a perfectly clean house, I would never get to read a book, go to a movie, or go hiking. The germs haven't killed me yet. In fact, I rarely get sick! Perhaps I've built up a strong defense system being around all those germs! :) Linda Shaw

-- Anonymous, September 08, 1999

You're kidding, right? With two autistic sons who think the floor is where you dump things when you're through with it? Oh, we could keep the place spic and span if that was all we did-- both myself and Barb--all day. ForGET it. I rather content myself with the Robert Herrick poem, "Delight in Disorder".--Al

-- Anonymous, September 08, 1999

My house is clean. Not only are the men in the household all clean freaks who do a lovely job of keeping things very tidy, we have a lovely woman who comes in twice a week to do the "heavy" cleaning like scrubbing down the loos and scrubbing the kitchen floor (she actually gets down on all fours to do it, too) and so on. I can't remember the last time that I, personally, *had* to vacuum or clean a toilet. And washing dishes? Nope, don't do that either.

And for a change, my office is neat too, now that I've rearranged and taken out a table which seemed to be a trap for all manner of detritus. I've even learned, of late, to refrain from leaving tea mugs and sandwich plates lying about up here until they've become putrifying.

So yes, I'm happy and I'm having fun. I have three built in housekeepers, a cleaning woman, I've developed self-discipline, and whoohoo, life is good.

-- Anonymous, September 08, 1999

I think for any level of cleanliness, you have to do what you're doing...a little each day. Unfortunately, often in reply to that, there's a crapload MORE that gets filthy in that day. And the filth gets more noticeable because you have something to compare it to. (The chair you attentively vacuumed animal fur off of has since been slept on by some sneaky little four-legged creature that you're going to spray with the water bottle, if you catch them. You discovered that fact when you sat in your chair while wearing your black pants, 5 minutes previous to leaving the house for work.)

Well, and there's always that lovely distinction between dirty and messy. My house has a range depending on which room you're in.

My side of the bed: neat and clean. His side of the bed: messy and dirty. My chore of cooking meals: completed with counters wiped His chore of doing dishes: avoided at all costs unless threatened by cook My chore of folding clothes: Hell no. His chore of washing clothes: Done and waiting for me to finish my chore of folding them. Floors: Only cleaned if I do it or give the look of death. Bathrooms: I have to have the toilet and tub clean. No one else will do it, but I don't mind because dirty toilets are disgusting, as you noted and males who stand to pee miss. And those that claim they don't are big fat liars! Vacuuming: I've talked the 6 year old into the idea that vacuuming is F-U-N fun! I don't know how long it will last, but child labor is cool.

And there are some cleaning things I only do when parents are visiting -- scrubbing floors with a scrubby sponge Windexing the sliding glass door sponging off the cabinets in the kitchen and bathroom cleaning all bathroom mirrors

I've been dusting lately, but I think I'm doing that compulsively because I'm pregnant. With any luck at all, there will be a shift in the hormones, and the insanity will stop. Don't get pregnant. Pregnancy makes you want to nest. Nesting makes you want to clean. I may be hormonal, but I'm convinced that pregnancy is all part of an evil plan men developed so that they can get out of cleaning because they've hormonally induced someone else to do it.

-- Anonymous, September 08, 1999

Oh, I've been on a real clean kick lately. Only because we recently sold this place and I'd be too embarrassed to hand over the keys to the new owners if they REALLY knew how we lived. Not like pigs, but, well....a little messy.

I try to combine my fun/housework as much as possible. (I guess I have no life) I head on over to the corner liquor store and flirt with the young boys behind the counter and buy a six-pack of beer and a slice of Nemo's carrot cake. It's fun to clean while your catching a buzz - I get my best decorating ideas that way. And it never hurts to put on your favorite CD of the moment and shake your ass all over the house.

Funny thing is, we bought a place only six doors down (I know, sounds crazy, but this place has a better view of the sky, mountains, and trees, and man oh man - is this place spotless! Move-in condition!)So I have made a sacred VOW to myself to "keep up with the new place." It's a nice feeling, yes it is, to start over in nice, beautiful place with lots of trees and an expansive view of the Lagunas.

Now if only hubby would help out every once in awhile...Ya think he could rinse out his cereal bowl every once in awhile.....?

-- Anonymous, September 08, 1999

I do have a clutter and procrastination problem. this is compounded by the fact that I live by myself. One usually isn't bothered by one's own mess. I did keep house better (schedule cards and all!) when I had a housemate, so that I could point to their nasty crap and bug them to take care of it.

I'm doing some work every day for the next week and a half, because I'm actually having guests come to stay with me, three swing dancers from out of town. If I were smarter, I'd force myself to do this before going online when I get home from work!

Anita of Anita's Book of Days

-- Anonymous, September 08, 1999

I am admittedly a *miserable* housekeeper.

One of my favorite scenes from Breakfast at Tiffany's is when Audrey Hepburn and George Peppard are about to go in her apartment and she says something like she's afraid to open the door for all the mess that's inside.

While I'm not quite that bad it is a good approach.

My husband is under the delusion that he is tidy but whenever he does a project the detritus will lay about the house almost indefinately. (Case in point the spare black and white photo enlarger right by the front door of my house--been there almost a month now, despite repeated requests to put that thing somewhere.)

Add to my pathetic cleaning skills two dog, two cats (all big shedders), and a three year old. Even if I was Mrs. Clean I couldn't win here.

I have a cleaning lady that comes in once a week--Friday's. If we could afford it I'd have her twice a week. I don't believe in cleaning. I feel that if I do it myself I'll be putting an entire segment of our population out of work. My motto is: Improving the World Economy, One Mess at a Time.

--beth http://www.deadpan.net/stitches/index.htm

-- Anonymous, September 09, 1999

1. Clean As You Go 2. Deadline for big jobs ie Washing folded and away by Sunday night. 3. Do Everything to Music / or TV 4. Pay a Cleaner to do the floors and the bathrooms once a fortnight, then just touch them up each weekend.

This is my way. It works for me. The End

-- Anonymous, September 09, 1999

My house is *not* clean and i am *not* having fun.

We've been building our own home for the past 8 years... yes I said 8 years... we have no closests, and 3 kitchen cupboards. I'd put some of this stuff up myself, but... well, our junk is in the way.:-) And we need a few more walls...
Child labour is very cool, as someone else mentioned, and I have 3 little slaves (some who are getting taller than me) to help.
Not to mentioned we live in the country, on a farm ,and work and school from home. So we are all here all the time. Making messes constantly. Our office looks like the file cabinet exploded. It takes 2 weeks at tax time just to find files!
And it has been a dry summer, and we are having well problems. Don't ask.. suffice to say you have to wash a dish in a minimum amount of water to be able eat. 'nuf said.
maybe I should start an on-line journal so I'd have *another* excuse not to wade thru the clutter... hmmmmm

-- Anonymous, September 09, 1999

I figured out how to keep the kitchen clean --

I clean while I cook. I can't leave the kitchen anyway, so I put things away while I cook.

And I wash dishes while Ginger eats her breakfast. She won't eat if I don't stay in the room with her and she takes a lot longer if I'm not standing next to her. Since I'm in a hurry every morning it's best if I stand right next to her while she eats. And the sink is right next to her bowls.

It helps that our sink is not very deep and cannot be piled very high with dishes before it's unusable.

-- Anonymous, September 10, 1999

We have a dishwasher now, which has helped immensely. Mostly by giving us more room on the counters to stack other junk instead of dishes.

When Doc was very little, I could do that "clean while he eats" thing, too. Now he doesn't eat until after his walk, at which point I'm in the shower. So much for that idea.

-- Anonymous, September 10, 1999

Hire someone to clean. But even then, I don't have time for fun either, being a geeky law student with a full-time job and two kids and all. Okay, so my house is clean, but I'm still a dud. I like to think of it as getting ready for when I actually have a life again, like when I meet a really faboo guy and he says, "Hey, let's go to your place and have sex!" Then I can say, "Sure, why not? After all, my bathrooms are clean and I have clean sheets on the bed...." Sigh.

-- Anonymous, September 11, 1999

Admittedly, one of the arguments against buying a house that convinced us to not do so was "Damn, that means we have to clean the sonofabitch." Sticking to a two-bedroom apartment meant less space to fill with clutter and less stuff to have to organize. Admittedly, my standards of cleanliness are different from Vivian's. I am, after all, a boy. Which is the main reason why I have my own little playroom that I can filth up without getting Vivian upset about it. It's not too bad now (the floor is mostly clear and the shelves are somewhat in order) but it's serviceable. I still need to get a big ol' footlocker or something to put my gun supplies in, since the corner of the bedroom where I keep that stuff is starting to look like Tim McVeigh's rumpus room. The living room is clean except when Vivian wants to re-organize her desk or her craft supplies, then it's cluttery for a couple hours and she apologizes to me (while I'm thinking, heck, it's still not as bad as my desk is on a regular basis, and what do I care? I'm a guy!) and puts it all back. We both do a bit of vacuuming and kitchening--one secret advantage of a tiny kitchen is that if it's at all messy I can't get anything done, so I *HAVE* to clean the bastard! The cats help by vomiting once in a while and shedding profusely. But hey, it gives the place character. As to fun, well, we go out often enough for my tastes, but my preferences in frequency-of-going-out are roughly similar to the typical medieval hermit-monk. Vivian drags me out of the house a couple times a week, so I guess we're still technically fun.

-- Anonymous, September 12, 1999