Are you a geek? Do you try and hide it or do you wear it proudly?
Are you a recovering geek? Are you attracted to geeks?
what do you like about the geek culture?
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
Answers
Apparently, everyone else is too chicken to admit to their geekiness. Not me, though. I have my computer and my Playstation hooked up in my room. I have about a billion Magic cards (which, for the record, I've stopped playing) laying in a box around here somewhere. I love me some video games. I love They Might Be Giants. But just as friends. I have a bunch of Pez dispensers.
But, on the other hand, I'm into punk and indie bands. None of my other friends are, and they come over to my house, and are like, "You have the biggest collection of CDs by bands that nobody's ever heard of that I've ever seen." And then I cry myself to sleep at night, holding my Mr. T Experience and Makers CDs pressed to my chest.
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
I am a geek. I do not hide it, nor do I usually flaunt it.
I got your BASIC joke. I, too, programmed in Logo and BASIC at a young
age. I've been using computers since I was five.
I am happy with the fact, however, that I am defined by much more than
my geekness. I am proud that I am a very difficult person to
pidgeon-hole. I was a "nerd" in junior high. I hung out with the
"nerds". I ate at the "nerd" table. Then I got to high school, joined
drama, and played leading roles in all of the productions. Suddenly I
was popular in a very weird sort of way. It was weird because I still
hung out with the nerds. People who thought I was "cool" didn't
understand that. Nor did they understand why a funny guy/good actor
would ever bother to head up an astronomy club.
I've never taken a computer class in my life, except for Pascal. I'm
self-taught, which is the best way. I *understand* computers because I
am used to thinking logically. For instance, in my work as a LAN
Administrator, users often come to me with help on software. Rarely do
I actually know how to do what it is they want to do. More often I sit
down at their computer and figure it out. [This often involves opening
the help files. To those of you who work with tech support, RTFM
before you call us.]
My work with computers hasn't always been squeaky clean, either. At
one time I could have called myself a hacker, in the illegal access
sense. I've been on the Internet since it was called DARPAnet, chiefly
because no one expected a 15 year old to be romping about on their
network.
Dilbert used to make me laugh, but it has gradually grown less and
less humorous. The funny came from when Scott Adams actually *worked*
in the world of which he makes fun. The jokes are strained.
He should know when to quit like Gary Larson or Berkeley Breathed.
J
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
Hi, I'm Melissa, and I'm a geek.
I own a Luke Skywalker plate from the Franklin Mint that I paid for
in three easy installments. I know the "One ring to rule them
all..." bit from The Lord of the Rings by heart (as well as all fifty
states in alphabetical order, all the books in the Old Testament, and
the companions from Dr. Who--and who played them--in chronological
order). I own every Rick Astley CD ever made. In my car CD player
right now (and no, I am not kidding) is Bert and Ernie's Greatest
Hits. I know dance routines to most of the songs. I can sing along
with Mandy Patinkin--in Yiddish. I am not Jewish. If pressed, I
might be able to recite Return of the Jedi. I have a Thing 1 and
Thing 2 tshirt that isn't a baby tee. I know the Powerpuff Girls
theme song. I love Battle of the Planets and most people have never
heard of it. I know what a filk is and have written some. I write
Star Trek Voyager and Star Wars fan fiction.
I am definitely attracted to geek guys. Tall skinny boys, that's for
me. Anthony Edwards, not George Clooney. Peter Tork, not Davy
Jones. Mark Hamill, not Harrison Ford (okay, Mark's not tall).
I can't even hide it anymore. It takes too much work. And I like
having my Bug's Life happy meal toys on my desk, with my Sesame
Street calendar, and my Star Wars lego Qui-Gon Jinn and Darth Maul.
It's a cozy little geeky world, the place I inhabit. :-)
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
I've always considered myself a geek, because I read science fiction
and comic books, play roleplaying games, wear glasses, am hated by
pretty girls, and was excessively tortured in high school, but after
reading all the things the rest of y'all do...well, I'm feeling like
I'm not as big a geek as I thought I was.
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
I am a Geek wannabee. In fact I am back in college at the ripe old
age of 31 taking Geek 101 at the locally community college. Wish me
well as I try to be like pam.
b
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
I totally thought I was a geek and I was proud of it, but I after
reading everything from y'all I now know it is not so. Hell I worked
in a Comic book store (so what I only read undergrounds) I played
Magic in highschool (So what if I never bought the cards and never
really got it.) I am a geek dammit, so I don't know how my computer
works I can still make it do stuff. Ok I guess I am just the the
uncool geek how embarassing, Does that make me a the geek of the
geeks?
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
poseur geeks.
a whole new underworld to explore.
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
The thing that sucks is being a geeks stuck halfway in the real world.
I mean, most of us are geeks, but not hard core geeks. Our social
circles include people with interesting lives, real lives, lives that
aren't geekdom, or even 9 to 5 corporate life. People we know, or we
are ourselves, actors, writers, teachers, designers, and what have
you.
Me, I played Dungeons and Dragons hard core from 6th grade through 10
grade. I was in band. I wore sweater vests. I programmed in BASIC
and ran a BBS.
I'm a geek, but I'm not a hard core geek. I hung with punk rockers,
metalheads, hippies, drug fiends. I had my share of one night stands,
short and long term relationships.
See the problem is that we are reminded we are geeks because we are
not total geeks and we hang with normal crowds.
examples:
My wife is worried that I may correspond with some girl over the
Internet, ever since NBC broadcast their 20/20 or whatever it is about
cybersex recently.
I cringe when my friends say 'Yeah, my Netscape was down today' and
then they look at me funny when I correct them and say, 'No, your
connection to the Internet was down, Netscape is a browser.'
My boss asked me a question and I went into an explanation about the
differences between servers and clients until I realized he looked
like a deer in headlights.
You see, if I only were around geeks, all of this behaviour would be
normal.
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
Hey Pam,
DATABASE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAH! HOHOHOHOHOHOHO!
HEEEEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHHE! You nerd!
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
That was cold, Chuy.
I had totally forgotten about "Database." That's how I know how much
I've been a part of geek culture.
When I first got into tech support I was complaining that I wasn't
really going to fit in with everyone here because the punch line to
all of their jokes was "Database."
Now I've even made jokes about ftp. (Priest and a Rabbi and a web
page walk into a bar. The web page is wiggling around and squirmy.
Priest says to the webpage "What's wrong with you" and the web page
says, "Well, it happens at least once a day." The Rabbi says "What
happens?" And the webpage says, "I F.T.P."
Oh, man. That's horrible. Database.
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
All I can do is type quickly. That's the only thing I do well in the
technical job world. I can't even pronounce gigabyte without
giggling, and I have to say it hourly so I spend a lot of time
giggling. What the hell's a SCSI card?
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
Ya know, I don't think that it's a bad thing to be a geek anymore. I
mean, there's less of a social stigma attached to it. You can be into
computers and dilbert and books about elves and people don't really
think any less of you. Geeks are necessary now. They're the people who
keep our connections to the internet up and running, and who program
all those nifty video games.
Now dorks are another story. I think that everyone is afraid of
becoming dorky. As they well should be. Dorks are a subset of geeks
who like computers and dilbert and elves, just like normal geeks, but
who like those things above other people. Dorky people are the geeks
who don't like sanrio, who don't get jokes other than geek jokes.
Beware of becoming dorky. Becasue dorks are geeks without any sort of
redeeming human factors. I think you're right though pamie, boobs do
go a long way in keeping you from being classed as a dork.
-riyati
http://members.tripod.com/~riyati/die-ary/
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
Oh yeah, big bad geek joke,
What's a
terradactyl?
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10^12th dactyls ha ha ha ha heh. Yeah. heh.
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
Soon after moving up to the Silicon Valley (nerdvana baby!), a friend
of mine (Mike) from back in college visited me. He grew up in Santa
Cruz (an hour away from San Jose) which meant that he had some
friends up here and he wanted to hook me up with a few of them. He
wanted to hook me up with GUY friends. That's fine. I needed
friends in the local area.
So it's like a blind date almost except instead of looking for life
partners, we're just looking for friends. Seriously. We all meet at
this bar in Santa Cruz, Mike in the middle, his friend and I facing
each other at the circular table not knowing what to say. I start
drinking a lot of water, which serves two purposes: 1. I don't have
to talk to this guy while pouring liquid down my throat and 2. If I
drink enough water, I'll eventually have to go to the restroom where
I won't have to deal with this stupid stupid situation.
Eventually, the other guy opens his mouth and the first words coming
out of it was, "So did you install Windows 95?" I choked on my
water. I got set up with a geek! Okay, yeah, so I'm a big nerd
myself, but I wanted somebody to go to all the cool concerts with
someone to play pointman when scouring for chicks. This was all
wrong! What was Mike thinking?
The whole time all he would talk about was Microsoft, Bill Gates, and
Windows 95. That was all we had in common to talk about - the fact
that we can speak MS Geek (But no UNIX Geek). He wasn't a bad guy
but not someone I'd hang out with necessarily. I get all the
geekspeak I can take at work.
On our way back to my place, I had to tell Mike that this wasn't
going to work out. He thought everything was working out great but I
was dreading the possibility of hanging out with this guy. But I
didn't know how to tell Mike who had spent all this effort to set me
up with the dude. You know what I'm saying?
Me: Mike, I really don't know what to say...
Mike: So you like him? You really like him? I knew you guys would
hit it off! You guys are both in engineering sort of work and all.
I bet you guys have lots to talk about. Windows 95, C++, you know
all that jazz.
Me: Yeah, ha ha, lots to talk about.
Mike: This is great. Two of my best friends are gonna be friends.
Me: Oh boy.
Mike: So when are you gonna see him again?
Me: See, the thing is... I don't want to go out with him again.
Mike: What? Why not?
Me: I can talk the geek talk at work, but off work, I really don't
want to get back into that again. You know?
Mike: But you guys are both...
Me: Nerds?
Mike: Yeah!
Me: I'm sorry man. I know you're lookin' out for me and all. But I
can't imagine being buddies with him. Nothin' clicks outside of ...
er... Windows, C++ etc.
Mike: *silence*
Me: What. Are you pissed at me? Okay, maybe I'll give it another
shot? I mean, dude, for you? I don't know man.
Mike: No, that's fine.
Me: Oh man. I don't like where this is going. He's going to come
between us, isn't he?
Mike: No, you know what? I'm just trying to help you adjust to
living in the Silicon Valley. And if you don't want my help, that's
fine.
Me: I never asked for your help. I can find my own friends, thank
you very much.
We went home both fuming and we didn't talk for months after. The
thing is just because we're geeks doesn't mean we're all the same.
There are different personalities to the geekness and one geek isn't
necessarily compatible with another geek.
I think people who aren't geeks think that the geek community is one
big tightly woven community of self-loathers and losers or something
but we're really not that tightly woven.
Do you think the quality of geekness is one that's defining of one's
character? I'm a geek and I don't try to hide it. But it would
sadden me if people thought my geekness was the one defining
characteristic for me.
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
Yeah, I guess I'm a geek...
My current job involves teaching about software... I design and write
courses (we call that writing "courseware" naturally), teach courses,
and train new instructors. The students in these courses are
professional programmers who work for companies that have bought our
software (which comes with six figure price tags). This follows a
couple decades spent as a programmer/analyst.
I've worn glasses since 1956... at which time I had subscriptions to
science fiction magazines and to the science fiction book club...
On the other hand I grew up in a very blue collar Italian neighborhood
(kind of the token WASP)... have you seen "Grease"? Well, 40 years
ago at age sixteen I would have been slapping Vaseoline Petroleum
Jelly on my hair to hold it in shape... hanging out on the street
corner, smoking, spitting, telling dirty jokes and trying to look
tough. Kind of a schizoid situation, in the upper academic classes in
school with the social and intellectual elite and hanging with the
neighborhood hoods after school... neither group could fathom how I
could stand to be with the others...
I love Pez. I may not know 1980's trivia (like about Jm Bullock) but
when I was a kid I listened to sci fi shows on the RADIO! (True, I'm
from the last radio generation... we got our first tv when I was in
third grade.) I have a collection of buttons with sayings on them
like "My strength is as the strength of ten because my code is pure!"
I have a Dilbert strip taped up (the one where a cubicle is replaced
by a "personal habitat" and when he complains about all his personal
stuff being in the waist basket Dogbert says "That's a funny thing to
call your personal storage unit.")hee hee -- but I gave up on the
television version.
I never played Magic -- but in college played D-Day and Blitzkrieg,
etc. board games. My oldest played D & D when he was a kid. My
daughter not only plays D&D (and Myst, etc.) but she is a subscriber
to the DragonRealms online center. My youngest is a computer and
console game whiz.
I laughed out loud at the 10 to the 12th dactyl joke...
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
Oh, I can't resist... (must be a geek!)
Q: How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: You're still thinking procedurally. A properly designed light
bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb
class, so all you'd have to do is send a light bulb change message.
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
It seems like two sets of characteristics get one labeled a geek: the
first could be paraphrased, "Not a moron." As in astronomy club,
actually knowing what an operating system is, or being able to solve
Myst. The second is "not getting out enough": viewing the "Star Trek"
characters as your personal buddies and all that entails, or making
people call you by your D&D character name. Just about everyone here
is category one, right? Because if you were socially stunted you
wouldn't be Pamie (if you are Pamie) or be reading her (if you're
not Pamie)-- you'd be building a nuclear reactor in your potting shed
or designing your "Bimfast the Elf Mage" costume to wear to the next
SCA meeting.
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
Yup, I'm a geek. I kind of separate "nerd" from "geek" in that nerds
have no social life... geeks are just, well, geeky about something,
most often computer stuff. But there are drama geeks and gardening
geeks and all sorts of others.
I'm a self-taught computer geek. And, I almost exclusively date
computer geeks. I think I like to find someone who knows more than I
do or else I feel too condescending.
I just completely geeked out and redesigned my website... I love
getting deep into projects like that where you lose all sense of
time.
But (she said defensively), I enjoy other things, too, athletic
things, etc.
-Kate
http://www.drizzle.com/~kate
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
That's it! The "not a morons" are Geeks, and the "no social lives" are
Nerds. But where do Dorks, Dweebs, and Wads fit
in?
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
Pamie,
You could be very close to being a goddess of geekdom. Look at the
facts:
#1. You are the voice of an anime character! Look out Pamiecon here
you come!
#2. You are your own url. Pamie.com.
#3. You work in a help desk/tech support environment. I bet you even
know what Unix is.
#4. When a bunch of guys stand around talking about IP, bandwidth,
and proxy, you can jump right in with your "Hey, how about those new
Cisco Routers!" statement.
#5. You have boobs.
#6. You're very funny.
#7. You have boobs.
Ok, just keep telling yourself, Angelina Jolie in Hackers.
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
I think that a better priest and rabbi is as follows:
A priest and a rabbi and a web designer walk into a bar, and the web
designer is shaking like crazy. The priest orders a beer, the rabbi
wine and when the bartender asks the deisgner what he wants, he
replies, "n- nnn- nnn- nothing. Too much java".
Lights out.
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
I'm a geek.
I've got my own domain. When I get tired of writing web pages by hand, I hack out a Perl script that writes them for me. My current job is Web designer; before that I was help desk; before that I was the trainer in a tech support department.
I get a quiver when I think to myself, "Cool. I'm root".
I've gotta get out more.
http://IanTheTerrible.com
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
Pamie, I am the geek of whom you speak. (god, I actaully said that..)
The office supplies thing, that is so me. Well, i get to order
office supplies for a whole bunch of people at work, and I'm really
going to miss my catalog. I love the neon clear floppys. I adore the
Unigel multicolored pens. I adore my green gel wrist rest, and I LOVE
my FlexClip paper holder. I put my FlexClip on my head and pretend
I'm Minnie Mouse.
I'm interviewing with Earthlink right now for a tech support position.
I'm in love with the net (could you tell). I have Disney Classics
vol. 1,2,3 and the Simpsons Sing the Blues.
I'm a total geek.
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
Anyone ever read "Geek Love?"
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
I am a geek and proud. But I was not born a geek. I think maybe I'm a
MacGeek, since I didn't become a geek until I started working on a
Macintosh 12 hours a day. But I do get terribly geeked any time I get
new software or hardware ("geeked" is my word for undue excitement
caused by computer equipment, akin to "psyched," as in, "I'm totally
geeked about the new iBook!).
No Dungeons and Dragons or Magic cards for me, but I'm training to
become a pre-adolescent geek with my son. I can *almost* do the entire
Pokerap and I play Pokemon the card game with him and I know most of
the Pokemon evolutions. Soon we are going to build him a web site so he
can be King Geek of his third grade class.
I am very attracted to geeks; I get crushes almost exclusively on
geeks. I'm not alone: feast your eyes on Bonnie Burton's
Cute Geek Guys page.
Yum.
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
No, I'm not a geek. Deny , deny, deny !!!!
Okay, occassionally I may laugh at "you
know when you've been on the computer
too long when..." jokes, maybe even relate
to them. I'll admit to being overly partial to
Mac's, engaging in Mac vc PC debates and
reading Adobe magazines with semi-
detached interest. Yes, I have stationary
organisational skills, and have become
territorial about my cubicle. I'll also admit
to liking the Matrix and it's references to
the system. And yeah, my job involves
websites which can occassionally result in
me feeling net-withdrawal on the weekend
in my modemless home.
But I'm not, I repeat, not a geek. Right?
Right ???????
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
Okay, I'm sitting here reading all this and thinking, "No way am I a
geek. I thought I was a geek, but these people are geeks."
Then I remembered: we're a two domain couple. Jeremy has started
building our web server. We used to do this direct dial-in chat with
Procomm when we were first dating, so we could "talk" on the phone
late at night without disturbing his parents. Between us, we have at
least eight computers.
I'm sort of a geek by marriage, except we aren't actually married.
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
yes i am a geek. i laugh at dilbert jokes.i know BASIC. i try to hide
it, but my taste in men gives me away.
i am attracted to the geekiest of the geeks (tall scrawny guys with
glasses) there is just something about an intellectual looking guy
that gets me all worked up. i am turned on by a guy who can recite
lines from starwars and can speak Klingon. i LOVE Weird Al and They
Might Be Giants. that makes me a geek right?!
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
Oh. My. Buddha.
I am *SUCH* a geek!
I was reading through this entry and when I got to that last LONG
paragraph, my face got more and more red and I was trying to disappear
into my hair. I can NOT walk by an Office Depot OR an Office Max and
I am TOTALLY about to orgasm over the fact that there is a new STAPLES
being built right down the street from my work.
I totally LOVE green uniball markers and yellow highlighters...
And I should shut up now... huh?
Bye.
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
Anyone else out there ever take O'Reilly book orders for your entire
shop?Who's the bigger geek, the geek, or the geek that delivers
O'Reilly's to him?
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
(Oh, God, that was an Obi Wan Kenobi double entendre wasn't
it? All this before I even mention the autographed and numbered
William Shatner movie cards! I'm like the Biohazard Level 4
of geek. I can hide behind this pile of Sandman comics. No
one will find me in that.)
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
All I'm going to say about this subject is this: I am the President
of the Chemistry Club at my University.
Sometime it depresses me. And then I remember that some people (the
right people) like nerdy girls.
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
okay, getting a little worried. i programmed in BASIC on my vic20, i
liked the adobe joke and i played magic, in a denny's restaurant no
less, while drinking coffee until 2 am.
oh my god.
i _am_ a geek!
-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999
I'm not a geek. I'm a jerk off.
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
Hmm. Geek? Wad? Jerk-off? Nerd? Dork? I guess that last one, since
dork to me connotes a goofy sort of endearing geekiness, but not
necessarily the intelligence. But I was always the one kid in the
"nerd herd" (in jr. high all of the nerds were quarantined in the same
classes together while the stupid cool kids got to socialize normally
and mix classes) who didn't want to be grouped with the nerds. I was
in my denim jacket, t-shirt, jeans every-single-day phase and would
come into homeroom, look around disgustedly, say ,"I hate you,
nerds!", put my head down and go to sleep. I didn't want to be
thought of as smart. I think I wanted to be Eric on 'Head of the
Class'. But hey, he did direct "Goodburger" and "Varsity Blues"!
Once I started to be thought of as "cool", I realized I much
prefered the company of the geeks. Unfortunately, the "cool" kids
started joining the speech team and "trying out" for plays (duh, any
drama geek knows you call it auditioning). Because the "cool" kids
realized it was really cool (note the lack of parentheses and
consequent lack of sarcasm) to do these things because they could
actually be themselves and be accepted.
That's what being a geek is really about: being whatever the hell you
want and making up your own rules about what is cool. That's why the
Jake Ryan's in their cigar bars will always secretly admire the Farmer
Ted's.
ps- I am into science fiction, anime, NPR, I have played Magic and I
do understand Dilbert. I don't know very much about computers or comic
books, and I don't find Dilbert funny.
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
i wish i were really a geek. i am only kind of a geek. i have been
told i lack the proper quantity of geekiness.
i don't watch enough sci-fi, obsess over hardward, or play video
games. however, i spend an inordinate amount of time on the computer--
mostly online-- and have an uncanny ability to memorize urls. i am the
computer/graphics maven on journalism staff. i casually study geek
culture from my comfy lil' ergonomic swivel chair and redesign my
webpage in hopes that it can look just in nice in every browser from
lynx to ie5. i telnet to my local library to put holds on cds i want
so i can mp3 them.
i see no reason to recover from geekiness. geek guys are extremely
attractive, but geek girls always make me feel inferior to their
amazingly intelligent and fascinating geekiness. but geek guys are
extremely attractive (i say repeatedly).
i may not be the everygeek, but i am geeky enough for me, dammit.
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
i'm not a geek. I'm a dork. And thats.... Okay.
jesse
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
Hello, my name is Kelli, and I am a geek. Although I'm sure I'm not
living up to my geek potential. I don't have my own website, but I
have created quite a few sets of pages (the actual terminology
escapes me now. my geekness comes and goes) for our intranet here at
work. I have forms, drop-downs and animation. Some even have music!
I'm interested in the mouse-overs. I have been offered (half-
seriously) a job in our tech support department, our I.S. department,
and as a programmer here, but alas, I remain an Executive Assistant.
One of my aunts is a programmer who owns her own company, and has
offered to teach me the true ways of programming...an offer I've
considered.
I dated a couple of geeks, but married a gearhead instead. He is
slowly converting to geekism. We bought a computer a few years back
"to play games on". This computer is now his hobby in the
colder/rainy/winter months (because he can't ride his motorcycles
then). A year after the purchase of our first computer, he had
totally "rebuilt" it, adding this and that. I even heard him utter
"...need more memory!" That was when it started... now we have two
computers that he NETWORKED on his own. He's joined us, but is still
in denial.
Am I a fringe-geek? A full-geek? A geek-in-training? I'm not sure.
Please help me...
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
Oh, AND I LOVE OFFICE SUPPLY STORES/CATALOGS! There, I said it. When
the hubby says "I need to go to Office Max or Office Depot", I play
it cool, and I'm all like "Ok, whatever" but inside I'm like "WOO-
HOO! EXCELLENT!" It's like paradise, baby! All those pretty colored
pens, markers, folders, filing systems, paperclips... all the
possibilities! Everything new! OH, and there's PLANNERS! I LOVE
PLANNERS!
Ooooo. Suddenly, I'm dizzy... Must...get...back...to...work...
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
Oh, I'm a geek. I admit it. I proof text for CD-ROMs and other
training software. I'm on the fast-track to becoming a tech writer.
We use a program that is actually called "The Rebiggulator" and I
laughed myself sick when I saw the name and got "The Simpsons'"
reference. (Just like I did when I read your Comic Book Guy joke,
Pamie.) I just started working at this place and the place I was
before was so non-geeky that I felt like the biggest freak in the
universe walking in there day after day with my 'Sailor Moon'
hairclips and my Scooby Doo calendar and my Penn & Teller wallpaper
on my computer. Then I get this new job and I walk into this office
and see "The Rebiggulator" and hear my new co-workers debating where
"The Phantom Menace" falls in the heirarchy of Star Wars films and I
think to myself, "Yeah! I've come home! I'm among my own people once
again."
I've got friends who write plays about superheros. I, myself, write
angst-filled short stories about people who are finally learning to
love and accept their own geeky ways after trying unsuccessfully for
years to fit into the mainstream of what is supposedly cool. (Yes,
yes, I realize it's a niche market.)
But, you know what? I just went to my 10 year high school reunion
and I'll tell ya, kids -- Everybody there was trying their damndest
to pass themselves off as a GEEK! Damn! My friend Bruce and I (the
only true geeks in the room) were the most popular people in
attendance -- just because everyone was hoping that maybe some of our
geekiness would rub off on them and then people would think that
maybe they were cool and original and followed their own drummers and
things like that. It was funny to see the same people who mocked me
in high school for being a 'drama geek' and a 'newspaper nerd' and
(in their opinion) just plain 'weird,' trying to convince me now that
they too were geeks just like me. Meanwhile, the whole lot of them
looked like they all got together beforehand and coordinated their
outfits just so they'd still be the cool kids.
Ah, but who are the cool kids now, my friends? ; )
"If I Wrote You..."
http://members.xoom.com/katie_did/jrnlindex.htm
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
I've been a geek all my life and I've been very proud of it.
Like Melissa, I've been attracted to geeky men (all except three of my
exbfs, I met online... all except two are in the CS/Math/Engineering
variety). My current partner kinda looks like a young Rick Moranis.
I'm a definite roleplaying geek: I started in firsth grade with D&D,
worked up to AD&D in junior high and high school (with flavorings of
GURPS and Toon), Over the Edge and Paranoia in college... Chill and
Call of Cthulhu afterI graduated. I play tons of boardgames (Settlers
of Catan, 18xx, Robo Rally, The Awful Green Things from Outer Space,
Kings and Things).. lots of card games (serious INWO collector 'cause
I think the cards are pretty, SW:CCG for a bit, Heretic, Magic, want
to get into On the Edge)... LARPs (of the Interactive Literature
Foundation variety, not Vampire or Star Wars which are often too open
ended and not tight tight tight.. I like LARPs where the GMs give you
the characters and setting and the mystery is getting all the little
bits of info together and achieving your particular goals. They feel
very different from the Vampire games I've played in the past... and
Vampire I only like Dark Ages.. modern vampires are too "tame" for
me.. let me play a Tzimisce any day!).
My current partner and I met at the Japanese Animation Club on campus.
He's a Math Grad and I was a botany undergrad. Got my degree in
botany (in less than four years) and then entered the world of web
development.
I worked for NCSA for a year (and I've got a way funky cool NCSA
Mosaic mug to prove it! I've got several "Mosaic" pins that always
gets a chuckle when I go to cons and bring the jacket that I pinned
them to).
My father and I put together a Heathkit computer when I was 5. I was
hooked ever since. I have pictures of me at 6 in a computer magazine
to prove how much of a geek I was even when my chin was at the
spacebar level.
I not only collected Sandman, but when I was in high school, I have a
nice collection of many Vertigo titles.
I have a small but sweet manga and anime collection. Even a sub of
Mononoke Hime.
I hate clothes shopping.. my mom buys all my clothes. However, i can
spend *hours* in a bookstore.
My partner and I, when we first started dating, would spend a Friday
or Saturday evening in an abandoned computer lab on campus with our
friends downloading porn or playing networked shootemup games.
I *only* laugh at the Dilbert jokes involving computers. I'm
generally unimpressed with the middle management jokes. However, I
*love* userfriendly. I
print my favorites out and hang them around my cube, to the confusion
of many people in my company who aren't geeks (for a computer
consulting company, we have very few geeks in our midst. I stick out
like a sore thumb in the 'she's kooky' department).
Like most geeks, I am prone to fan-boy obsession (Iko *does* the Blair
Witch, baby... and she'll get hyper in October when Mononoke Hime
makes its US debut!).
...and I ramble like a typical geek. =) But I wouldn't be any other
way. I think it's really sad when people who *are* geeks (and have
geek tendancies and quirks) try very hard not to be so.
‰
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
I was a geek before geeking was cool.--Al
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
This is a nifty thread.
I think being a geek is possibly the coolest thing in the world.
Admittedly, when I realized that I was making D&D jokes like "Don't
tick me off, I'll hit you with this fist +7!", I thought maybe it was
time to stop playing. But amongst my friends in high school, I was
the coolest of the cool when I came home from the Blake's Seven/Dr.
Who convention with the hundred-sided dice.
I was also president of the Latin Club. Semper ubi sub ubi, baby.
My friends are like Kate's friends..they all want to be geeks now.
What they don't realize is that it's too late, really. They can only
pretend now. I'm a firm believer that geeks start young and have to
go through a level of total uncoolness to achieve the cool status we
hold now.
You--yeah, you. Off my Darth Maul inflatable chair.
Melissa
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
of course I'm a geek. make that a slacker geek . . . right now I'm
surfing the web instead of writing a paper that is due at three o'clock
today. I wrote my first computer program at age four. I beat riven in
five days. I love being a geek, but I don't feel constrained by or even
obligated to be a part of geek culture. I'm still young. I will never
be a corporate geek.
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
Semper ubi sub ubi? Wow, Melissa, bad puns in Latin is a true geek
thing. I'm impressed. The favored phrase from my Latin class was Ubi
est mea sub ubi.
A few years ago while running in a corporate challenge 5k race I
noticed that the runners from a local law firm were wearing black
t-shirts imprinted with a Latin phrase. Unfortunately my Latin was
far out of date (and I had been a terrible Latin student besides... it
was my first experience with a subject where I should have actually
opened the book and studied outside of class) so I had to ask one of
the running lawyers for a translation... it turned out to be "Sue the
bastards!"
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
of course i'm a geek. i take solace from the fact that i'm not as
much of a geek as my significant other, who's currently trying to
develop a chess n' poker chips game to take the place of magic in the
hearts of geeks all over.
speaking of magic, i was the only counselor who understood what was
going on last month when the kids refused to do anything but play
magic during their down time. of course, i was at a camp designed for
geeks.
although i wasn't at dungeons & dragons camp. such a thing actually
exists.
yes, i have read geek love. horribly disturbing book, wonderfully
told. this fits in with the splattergothgeek persona, don't cha
know...
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
Nope, I am not a geek, but not a moron either. Am not attracted to
geeky men (or morons). Have boobs. Major boobs. Since age 11.
(laughing) Was not a nerd in school (but was not a cheerleader type
either - was just weird in a totally different way from the
slide-rule carrying, Latin club types).
Never slept with nerds or geeks - well, maybe once, but that was an
exception and it wasn't much fun (for me).
PC's did not exist until I was about 30. I got into programming for a
while back then, for job reasons. After a short time I found
programming really boring and tedious, not challenging or interesting,
and it will be fine with me if I never write another line of code as
long as I live. I never got hooked into any computer games.
I got into on-line forums in the early 90's because I like people,
not computers, and I like exchanging information and opinions.
Computers are just a means of communication.
I do like Office Depot though... but I've been into stationery stores
and all forms of paper and writing instruments and forms of
correspondence since I was about 3.
So that's my history with computers. Unfortunately my boss seems to
think I *am* a geek just because I have a web site and a domain name -
somehow I have to get her to understand that any old lady can put up a
web site and have a domain name without tagging any text herself (and
I am perfect proof of that). She keeps putting me on geeky committees
with the geekiest men in my department, to deal with topics I have no
interest in and am ill-suited to be working on. Oh well.
Judy
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
Alight, fine, I was a geek too. I wasn't going to admit it, but here
it goes. I was in the jr. high marching band, red hair, big teeth,
and I was the second smallest kid in the school. It would've been
cool to be the smallest kid in school, but noooo, I was the second
smallest. There's no prize for the runner up, just a lot of weggies.I
weighed 85 lbs. in the 7th grade. I never played D&D or collected
comic books, I was a geek by default.
Ohhh, the agony.
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
I've been a geek for as long as I can remember. I was the only girl I
know who could recite the names of NASA's first class of women
astronauts, I spent hours playing with a microscope before discovering
computers, I read comix and listened to Rush in high school, then
spent 6 years at two different engineering colleges.
Now I write geek books, I have my own domain, and I've become a
language geek in addition to my science-nerd persona. I met my partner
online.
But I still snicker every time I walk into a comic book store and
every guy in the place turns around, 'cause I know they're thinking,
"oh my God! It's a woman! _What is she doing in the
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
I can't believe someone else had a Vic20. That's amazing.
Oh, I guess I should also raise my hand: President of Latin club--
two years. President of Chess Club-- two months, until I was beaten
by some girl hater. (No kidding, he would mumble that I was castling
because I was a girl)
My latin is fading, though, since I was fourteen when I took it.
Agricolae sunt in via.
Oh, and for geekiness-- how about getting shipped to a high school in
junior high for science and english? how about third year college
calculus my senior year of high school? Academic Decathalon one year.
Odyssey of the Mind three years. We geeked out over building our own
towns and cities in gifted class.
I've already mentioned how I used to try and give myself
braces. Did you know that I wanted to be like Doogie Howser?
(now this whole journalling thing is starting to make sense...)
I choreographed weird al dance numbers-- (who else knows all the words
to the entire "In 3D" album? Nature trail to hell! In
Threeee-deeeeee!).
I cried for three days when I couldn't figure out the Rubick's Cube.
I read the Outsiders so many times that I wrote myself in as a
character. I wrote horror short stories on my typewriter in my
closet.
I wanted to be one of the Explorers. Or the Goonies. Hell, I was a
Goonie. Maybe I still am. I've got the inhaler. All I need is to
find Chester Copperpot.
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
Oh, and don't get me started on the microscope when I was six. I had
brine shrimp all over the damn house.
I was pulling all sorts of hair out of my head.
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
it's funny - i don't consider myself a geek because i don't know
diddly about any of that backend hardcore computer stuff - and also
because i know REAL geeks.
and YET - friends (and co-workers) call me a geek. sure i get a little
excited when ripping open the latest version of photoshop and yes, i
actively seek ranma 1/2 tapes, i get the dilbert jokes, i even get the
userfriendly jokes, and ok sure i play quake every day after work, but
please, i'm still unsure of what exactly a "shell" account is and
even though i know i can figure it out, i'll probably still get a
friend to help my new baby online, just to be sure i don't screw it
up.
still. i laughed through your entire entry pamie. i mean, the WHOLE
thing. and i have a page on chickpages.com and an email account at
chickmail.com...just because i'm lazy and haven't got my home account
set up yet. but i'm about to start learning notes/domino and getting
involved in the back-end stuff at work... sooo... i guess that means
i'm becoming a geek more then anything else.
but i will still buy my lipstick at M.A.C.
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
Oh man, "In 3D" was one of my favorite albums! I stole it from my
brother and never gave it back. Now I have to go dig it out of
storage.
I loved being a geek in high school. The girls that I hung around
with tried to pretend like they weren't geeks. Meanwile, I freely
admitted I was a geek and was completely open about liking geeks.
(While my friends were pining away for the captain of the football
team, I was hung up on the editor-in-chief of the school newspaper
and the secretary of the filmmaking club.) And since I was the only
openly geeky female in our classes, I got the guys' undivided
attention.
Of course, considering that these guys were geeks, all that attention
ever amounted to was a whole lot of worshipping from afar and stupid
teasing and horseplay. They never asked me out. : ( They never asked
anyone out. Hell, they were too busy with D&D and making their own
movies in the woods behind the baseball fields.
But now it seems like they're all starting to come around and I'm
getting a lot of attention again. Damn! If only I were single.
---Kate
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
From the sad but true geek love files:
I liked this one geek boy and he liked me. It was pretty obvious we
were in deep, deep like here. Anyway, I was at his house on New Year's
Eve and we were sitting in his room looking up at the glow-in-the-dark
stars on his ceiling (that were painted on using a stencil to make it
an actual reproduction of the solar system) and we were looking at
Casseopia when the clock struck twelve. I wanted him to kiss me so
bad, but I didn't know if I could make the first move because he was
pretty shy. Check this out:
I said, "Gee, isn't there some sort of tradition that you do on New
Years when it strikes twelve?"
He looked up at me with a deer in headlights look. All I could see
were his eyes shining. He said, "Uh... yeah. I know there is
one.... I can't remember what it is. Can you?"
I whispered a little swear word. He was too nervous to do it. Or he
didn't want to. "Well, I asked you."
"Huh. I can't remember."
"Me either."
Sitting on that bed was the combined I.Q. of at least 275 and we both
pretended that we were too stupid to remember the New Year's Eve
tradition. We just sat there and listened to the bells chime.
Two months later we dated for almost a year. We both laugh about that
moment, but really it was like a nervous-we're-so-fucking-pathetic
kind of laugh.
Horrible.
True story.
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
It occurs to me that I know a lot of people who would consider me a
geek (although I do not necessarily consider myself one, especially
after some of the other posts-I'm just not in the same league)simply
for following a forum discussion about being a geek.
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
http://www.wtfman.com/mcd/dick2.htm
THAT'S a geek! Have fun at this page all, this is a million laughs
right here this is....
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
I sleep with a geek--my wife is as good or better with computers than
I am. She has a marginal interest in comic books too (we met via a
comic book lettercolumn).--Al
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
Well, I majored in Math in college and have been doing programming
and systems analysis work (in "Newspeak", that's systems
integration)
for 20 years.
 |
Its been good, though. I work for a
large
company which has reduced in size from 30,000 employess to
8,000.
I never worried about my job, even as the "cool" admin-types fretted
over
every cut-back. I don't feel pressured to work overtime
("fire
me? ...you can't replace me!") and I take vacation days whenever I
want. The women among my users are appreciative of my help; I
get
kisses, hugs, cookies and candy. |
I tell my sons that so-and-so (some cool kid) won't seem so cool in
a few years. "He'll be washing your car!", I tell
them.
Of course, knowing that the world's biggest geek is also the
world's
richest...
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
I'm gonna buy me a condo...
I'm gonna buy me a cuisinart...
Get the wall-to-wall carpeting...
Get a wallet full of credit cards...
Need I say more?
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
Get the funny little t-shirt.
With the alligator on.
Ha.
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
I can't believe what a bunch of geeks you people are! I mean, I've been sitting here for hours reading these geeky responses on my
computer and...oh...wait a minute...
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
When I discovered that our new version of Sybase supported a "case"
condition in a SQL select statement, I let out a hoot........
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
Wait, does writing yourself into the Outsiders as a character make you
a geek? I mean, I already knew I was a geek (I was the SCHOOL BOARD
REP at my high school, for pete's sake), but I didn't know the
Outsiders thing counted, too.
By the way, I was the tragic little runaway who Ponyboy befriended in
the park, and Darry was all pissed off because I was just another
mouth to feed, but then it turned out that I could make really good
chocolate cake (which the boys always had for breakfast, you know) so
they let me hang around, and eventually Darry and I fell in love and I
got a job so he was able to go to college and Ponyboy could finish
school. I think I killed Soda off in a car accident; he always
annoyed me, and that brought me and Darry closer together.
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
In the 4th Grade, when all of the other kids were running around as
superheroes, like Batman, or the Hulk, my superhero of choice was Adam
Warlock. How much of a geek do you have to be to be Adam
Warlock among your comic book reading buddies? I bet even Al
Schroeder is reading this and shivering at the geekiness.
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
In mine I was steve's little sister and I hung with Ponyboy and Johnny
and we all killed that soc and we had to hide in the old church and
then rescue those kids. I was real upset when Dally got shot.
I was like everyone's little sister.
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
Oh, well see, mine took place AFTER the events in the book. I'll have
to work you in, but that's cool. I always wanted a little sister, and
it was kinda lonely there with all those boys (especially since I got
rid of Cherry the Soc, that bitch).
-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999
Gotta raise my hand here... I'm half of a true geek couple. We met
as he trained me in for a tech support job. 9 months later we were
married!
We do all of the Star Trek, Babylon 5, SciFi channel stuff all week.
And if we're not watching that - it's time for documentaries on
Discovery or PBS. For heaven's sake, one of our 19 month old's
favorite show is Mr. Bean!!!
We've been known to be in the same house only separated by a wall and
just talk over Instant Messenger until it's time for bed. My hubby is
in the process of trying to get me to convert to Linux - I still
haven't given in, but I'm sure it will happen before the end of the
year.
Every trip to the nearby town for shopping has a stop at either one of
the big electronics stores or software stores or both.
In high school, DH was a D&D player - I would watch my friends in
Drama/Speech play it. I have Magic cards around the house somewhere
from dabbling in that with a former geek boyfriend. I was active in
everything geeky in highschool - from band to speech to yearbook.
LOL... I just remembered that I was the only 4-5th grader to have a
computer to write up my reports. Guess that sealed my fate.
So, definitely count me in as a geek. I'm proud to be in your ranks.
-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999
Beth & Mike & Pamie... You've got to read John Varley's latest novel
"The Golden Globe" -- was in hard cover & is about to be released
(Sept 99 pub date) in paperback. Set in the same future as his "Steel
Beach" and "Barbie Murders" etc., you will be fascinated by the
protagonist's childhood as the star of a kid's video adventure series
that may remind you of some of the adventures you created for
yourselves as children (Pamie, you may be especially interested since
most of the book deals, in one way or another, with acting and
Shakespeare and Punch&Judie shows and theatre, etc.)
-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999
Mike - At least it wasn't Dr. Strange. You would have been running
around saying things like, "By the hoary hosts of Hoggoth"!
-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999
i am a geek. i work in the computer support center at my college,
even though i'm an english major, and i play snood like it's an
addiction. i went to see star wars at midnight the night it opened.
i haven't bought a domain yet, though.
and my boyfriend buys star wars legos. he's an even bigger geek than
me.
(plus, we're both theatre geeks, which is totally different but yet
somehow the same. most of the true geeks i know are both computer and
theatre people. it's kind of odd.)
-- Anonymous, August 14, 1999
i wish i were a bigger geek than i am. geeks rule.
-- Anonymous, August 14, 1999
Why would a web page FTP? I don't get it. I mean, if it were a file server walking into a bar with a Rabbi and a Priest, it'd make sense. Or a software pirate. But a web page? They don't FTP.
Here's my suggestion:
A rabbi, a priest, and a file server walk into a really CD bar. The file server keeps thrashing around and swapping stools. The rabbi asks, "What's wrong with you?" The file server says, "I FTP." So the priest says, "Well, gopher it." The file server replies, "But I HTTP here, since their restrooms are so SCSI."
Now, that's the WAIS should be told. If you're going to telnet jokes, make sure to get the details right.
-- Anonymous, August 15, 1999
Will--
you win.
hands down.
-- Anonymous, August 16, 1999
i agree.
brilliant joke, wil.
-- Anonymous, August 16, 1999
Dammit, Wil, you beat me to it. But while I'm here, I can at least
say, Rich, that Netscape is a *company*; *Navigator* is a browser.
And if you've used it, you damn well should know how often it goes
"down".
Allright, who's up for some Linux kernel hacking with me? Anyone?
Anyone?
-- Anonymous, August 16, 1999
I recently bought a Radio Shack Electronics Project Lab kit that will
let me do 130 of my very own electronics experiments, i'm up through
experiment 40 or so.
Fortunately, my girlfriend thinks this sort of thing is cute.
By the way, a geek is someone who eats gross things for money and other
people's amusement. Which i also used to do, and incite others to do,
in the cafeteria in highschool.
-- Anonymous, August 17, 1999
Ok, my vanity license plate is a geek test.
It says CHROWL. (That's ch'rowl, but they don't let you put an
apostrophe in a license plate.)
1023 points to the first person to post why that's funny.
-- Anonymous, August 18, 1999
I never thought I was a geek, until today...
I have non-technical friends, newbies to the Internet, and they accuse
me of being a geek, but I just laugh it off.
Reading this forum, I realize maybe I am a geek because I've gotten
all the jokes, all the Internet references, all the Database lingo,
everything...
But, I don't think I'm a high-level geek. Someone should come up with
a geek standard, defining different levels of geekdom, and then, when
questioned (accused?) of being a geek, you can refer to a level of
geekdom that you've achieved.
See...I don't think Bill Gates is the highest level of geekdom, in
fact, I think he USED to be a geek, but he's more of a 'corporate'
poser now. At the highest level of geekdom, I would have to recommend
the creator of this forum...Philip Greenspun. Professor at MIT,
experience in building 100's of database-backed websites, and pioneer
in creating collaborative websites which is truly changing the way
people use the Internet...that's a geek (perhaps a "Greenspun" geek).
Support personnel, lan admins, help desk techies should be categorized
in their own group.
Serious C++ and Java Programmers, those who don't use 'Visual' tools
but rather prefer UNIX-type line editors, should definitely have their
own category.
Then there's Internet junkies, comic book fanatics, hackers/hobbiests,
and gamers.
What do you think? I think asking people to fit into a pre-defined
category in order to classify their identities is itself geek-y, but
oh well...I MUST be a geek.
-- Anonymous, August 19, 1999
I know what ch'rowl is, kzinrret, but I used a geek cheat to find
out. :-)
A standard for rating geeks? Here's the link:
http://www.frontiernet.net/~jbennett/nerd/index.html
(Willingness to take this test is the first sign of nerdiness, aka
geekdom.)
Finally, this guy qualifies as one of the premier geeks of the world:
http://www.fsf.org/people/rms.html
If you've even heard of him, you're pretty hardcore yourself.
-- Anonymous, August 19, 1999
Victor, you're right, Stallman is like an ur-geek. Noting that he has
been a Grace Hopper Award recipient... I often describe myself
(professionally) as someone who has been writing COBOL code since
Gracy Murray Hopper was on active duty... and then I note who gets it
and who doesn't...
-- Anonymous, August 20, 1999
Today, I picked up an order of 500 business cards with my webpage
address. Just my webpage address, because I didn't know what
else I should put on it. They can get my e-mail address when they log
in and visit my site. I certainly don't want anyone dropping by to
visit me, or calling me if they can get by on e-mailing me.
I figure that this is almost, but not quite, as geeky as Garth holding
out a dixie cup, and telling that guy, if you have to spew, spew
in this!
-- Anonymous, August 20, 1999
I occasionally lapse into moments of geekdom. Myself and my boyfriend
recently went out and bought his and hers Game Boy Advances' His is
Glacier and mines Fuschia. Hey! It's quirky. Girls don't usually get
Pink Game Boy's out there Suzy Smith bag on the bus and start playing
Street Fighter 2 or Mario Kart. And then there was the time I went out
and bought my iMac, which I absolutely love. But it's useful for my
photography work! My boyfriend Sam is a recovering geek, it took him a
while to discover clubs and Ibiza and dj-ing. He did do the DHTML and
Jave script on my website though. He stayed up all night doing it
Bless him! He started to enjoy it. He's a sweetheart and I wouldn't
have it any other way. I think everyone has an element of geek in
themselves...some more then others. We couldn't get by without them,
nothing would ever have been invented. Bring o
-- Anonymous, February 27, 2002
Hmmm, just checking to see if I can post through Google cache, if you
see this, I did.
I'm really sorry about that AOL thing. Seriously, I'm sorry,
getting DSL in a week or two hurray!
-- Anonymous, March 19, 2002
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