Talk amongst yourselves. I'm going back to bed.

-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999

Answers

Is my house clean? Don't know me very well, do you?

-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999

Clean house? What's that?

-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999

My flat is filthy this week, because I went up the coast last Friday-Sunday and never did get around to doing the very basic once-over I usually do on Sundays. The floors are now truly disgusting and there is clutter everywhere, but it will just have to wait until this weekend.\

As to how I feel today, well, better than expected... but I am getting a bit of SAD, which is normal for SF in August, the foggiest month of the year.

Judy

-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999

I am now sure that I have a magic laundry basket! There is no bottom. I used to think there was a bottom, but on Sunday, I finally bought laundry soap and went on a laundry rampage. I soaked, agitated, and spun all day and night, but I just couldn't find the end of the laundry basket. So I now know there isn't one.

It's probably a safe bet that whatever clothes and stuff are down there have gone out of fashion in the 80's (when I purchased said magic laundry basket) but I still feel incomplete when I can't see the bottom -even though I don't really want to know about the bottom.

I think I'll make a fake bottom and put it on top of what's in there now. Could work?

As for the dog hair -Shasta's body seems to be quite confused as to why it's 78 degrees on a Sunny afternoon in August in Sacramento, so the shedding has come to a (temporary?) halt. If this keeps up, she'll be getting her winter coat soon!

Well Beth, I promise to stay on the porch if I come over (it's safer for Doc to pee on me there anyways). Clean the house some other weekend, the weather is too nice to be inside anyways.

-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999

Back in the seventies, I gave up the machete killing in favor of the much cleaner Ginsu knife killing.

I still shout, "William Saroyan! William Saroyan!"

Almost no one pays any attention.

-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999

My house is a mess! I must have enough hair for a fourth dog on my bedroom carpet. We're still unpacking even though we moved in over two months ago.

I swear I'm going to do something about it tonight.

And we have a magic laundry basket too. I put the clothes in there, Dave takes them down to wash them, and they never come back. Maybe I have a magic laundry room.

BTW, My *puppy* Ginger is 38 Pounds. That's no puppy. And the vet said she's growing about 5 pounds per week and it's all normal. Did you know that puppies have baby teeth that they lose just like kids???

Colleen

-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999

I'm feeling pretty good today, despite the overcast weather. (I moved down here partly to get away from typical San francisco summer weather, but it followed me.) I have pleasant plants for the weekend, today I'm going to the doctor to find out what's going on with my hurty foot, I have the house to myself tonight. All's right with the world. Well, mostly right.

The house is pretty messy, but not dirty. Lots of dishes sitting around the kitchen. Like I care.

No sand in the bed because we're vigilant about not letting cats under the covers. During the day when we turn back the sheets to air it, they're locked out of the bedroom.

-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999

I haven't slept in two nights so I'm viewing the world through a cotton-ball haze, thanksforasking. It does at least help me to ignore the disgusting condition of my floors.

My house is so filthy that my pet rats are threatening to call the health department on us. Other people's cats come over to shed hair on our carpet. I'm not even going to get into the old-spider-webs-with-hanging-bug-bits issues. I thought I got rid of them last weekend but more have magically appeared. (The cleaners refused to deal with the volume of spiders we have so we fired them.)

Bad move.

-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999

I have entered full-fledged surly boy mode. You can blame my HMO.

I have a large cysty thing in my hip-waist area, and it has been causing me pain for the past few days.

I just got back from the Timberlake branch of MedClinic. I had to go there for an appointment to see my surgeon guy. I would have had to wait 'till the 20th to see him at my local location. Once there, I was able to make an appointment for an ultrasound-guided aspiration dealy. On the 26th. Two weeks in the future. My vicodin supply is already severely depleted.

So I am designating myself surly-boy. All are subject to my snarling.

And all questions are vulnerable to medical complaints, it would seem.

-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999

Oh, right, the house.

My house is, as always, a complicated and intriguing yet frightening mass of refuse, debris, and miscellany. I'm actually rather proud of it.

-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999

I'm moving. Half of my possesions are in boxes or already gone, the other half are in a bunch of heaps around the house. As for 'dirty' messy, my living room lamp is connected to the ceiling by spiderwebs, there is still a pile of sawdust on the carpet from recent carpentry, and don't even look at the downstairs bathroom sink. And my definition of messy is a bit wider than many, since I didn't think your kitchen looked messy at all.

-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999

Oh, geez, Ashley, don't say that any louder, or I'll never get your brother to pick up his tools! I think you must just be immune to it, since you lived with him and his tools for so many years.

Mr. Kipper, I hope you feel better, but I can't offer any HMO advice. I will, however, be happy to join the revolution when it comes.

Colleen, our "puppy" is just about 31 pounds, and I think he's a month younger than yours. He hasn't started losing his baby teeth yet as far as we can tell.

-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999

Ah, you see, I am immune to it because I do the same thing. The living room is full of tools among the boxes. The difference being that I can't use them as well as he can, and I use them for projects like building a loom, rather than fixing the house.

I can vouch for the artful squalor which is Le Maison de Kipper. (no I never took French). That actually may be the main reason I don't think many houses are messy, because that is the only one that compells me to start cleaning while visiting. Though my place has started to do that to me also in recent months.

I would just like to add that to put the messiness of my house in perspective, about three months ago my roommates decided that since we were going to be moving, cleaning would be silly. So we have to try to catch up on 3 months of stove scrubbing, and removing Davis hard water spots from anything water touches, etc. I swear that stuff has superpowers.

And, as an aside, I think moving would be much easier if I had a place to do it to, as opposed to a storage shed and my parents' house.

And today I am feeling tired, congested, and grumpy.

-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999

Oh man,Beth, You've got monster puppy too! Is Doc mixed with some large breed? Ginger is lab/husky.

My puppy is too big for her attitude. She can get into far too much trouble because of her size.

I would have never known about the baby teeth thing unless my vet showed me. He showed me how her front teeth are adult teeth, and some teeth that were loose on the sides. When he showed me I could tell the difference.

It's all so cool though!

When are we going to get more Doc pictures?

-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999

My house is a mess, mainly because my mom arrived 12 days ago with a carload of my stuff (stuff I haven't seen in the 2 years I've lived in California), and I haven't been home or touched it since. Ah, but she left this morning on the train, so I now have my own room back and I'll have time at home to sort, clean and otherwise creatively stuff my stuff out of mine and my housemates living space.

I was awfully sick yesterday with those gynecological mysteries (myseteriously starting right before the forum discussion here...) but I'm much better today, thanks for asking.

Emotionally, it is a sad day, as the two little girls I've been teaching ballet (and tap) to are moving to Arizona this Saturday. Their mother lost them in court just this morning...it just doesn't seem right, that it could happen so fast like that. Their father is ok, I guess, but the main reason he wants them to live with him and not their mom is because his (bitchy) wife doesn't want him to keep paying child support! The girls (9 and 10 yrs old) would rather live with their mom, but the financial situation is much more stable with their dad, so off they go.

-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999

I have a solution to all of your magic laundry basket problems. Puppies! My magic laundry basket now works in the other direction. "What happened to that green bra? Didn't we have more than two towels? Wait a minute, I just wore that shirt yesterday, where could it have gone?"

Oh, and new Doc pictures will arrive as soon as I buy batteries for my camera, take pictures, get them developed, scan them, and upload them. If I put the Amazon link back up, will you all buy lots of books so I can afford a digital camera?

-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999

I'm grumpy BECAUSE of my house.

I have been trying to find us a new place to live since BEFORE the wedding (July 18) and haven't been able to find one... so I've been THOROUGHLY UN-motivated to clean the house - so it. is. gross.

I've got LOTS of fixtures that are attached to other stuff like Ashley's - with spiderwebs. It's annoying as hell.

I actually started to do the dishes the other day - but I am so sick and tired (pregnant and recovering from a lil' bit more than a cold) so just getting them into a soapy sink full of dishes wore me out... Hopefully by my next three days off I'll be all recouped and ready to hit the house like a reverse tornado and have everything all sparkling. (=

But don't hold your breath.

-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999

Today, I had maggots in my trash.

And there IS kitty litter in my bed.

Two cats and wood floors - I've accepted my fate.

-- Anonymous, August 11, 1999

I'm a lousy houskeeeper and I'm in an even lousier mood. I keep things "picked up" around here but I'd be thoroughly embarrassed if y'all showed up on my front doorstep. It doesn't help that my dear darling hubby could give a rat's ass what the house looks like. He fixes my car for me, so that's cool. My state of housekeeping reflects my moods - if I'm feeling great about myself (heaven forbid!)then my house is shiny and clean. But when I give in to the throes of depression - which is often, so often, that being "happy" feels weird - well, shit, then everything goes to hell. Funny thing is, we just put our home on the market and soon strangers will be trampling through and I really don't give a damn. Dirty bathtub? You clean it! Just get me out of here so I can start my life over someplace. Someplace I can afford. In Southern California, well? Does that place exist? I'm reading a biography on Marilyn Monroe and here is something she scrawled in a journal that best describes my home and life: Find me Find me Complete this form.

-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999

I'm tired too...who isn't come Thurs?! Have just discovere on-line journals...what fun I have reading them...realizing I am not the only one!!! Clean house? Yeah right! I am noteriously "domestically challenged." Don't really care either except my boyfriend drives me nuts w/his clean freak attitude. Says he's tired of being "Mr. French". So then don't do it! Life is to short to worry about housekeeping!

-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999

Don't hate me because my house is clean...I didn't do it. The smartest thing my husband ever made me do was consent to a cleaning lady every two weeks. His parents always had one, so it's just normal to him. It's our one luxury and SO worth it. She even does the laundry and changes our linens. With three dogs, two cats, a 55-gallon aquarium and two working people (one of whom travels a lot and the other of whom works long hours frequently), our house used to be a pit. Now, I come home every other Wednesday and the house smells clean, I can see my reflection in the glass table tops, my laundry is warm and folded, and I slip into fresh sheets at night. Look into it. It's not that expensive, we just give up a meal out or two to cover the cost. I never thought I'd like having someone in my house because I'm a very private person, but it's great if you find someone you can trust. Plus, having someone come every two weeks means it never really gets that bad, so I'm more motivated to keep it up in between. By the way, yesterday was her day, so our house is beautiful right now!

-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999

i'm currently taking advantage of rent-free living and occupying space in my mothers house. right now, she's on vacation in florida with my 12 year old brother. my mother is a clean-freak. i am not. as a result her house is suffering the unspeakable shame of dirty dishes, piled laundry, un-vacuumed rooms, kitty litter all over the place, and kitty-antibiotic spills all over the laundry room carpet (i missed nico's mouth a few times when administering meds). not to mention the dishes on every table and the hair-balls on the bathroom floor.

i've wallowed in it for a few awhile, totally enjoying the nag-free disaster area. however, only two weeks into it and : i can't find underwear or clean socks, everytime i open the dishwasher this nasty odour comes wafting out, the garbage really needs taking out and i'd like to get from the hallway to my bed without tripping on something. currently impossible. so i've got to start cleaning. or maybe i should just start sleeping in another room and showering in the basement bathroom? :)

-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999

How'm I feeling? Yech. My left trick knee (how's that for geezerdom) popped out today after months of being trouble-free, as I was descending a set of stairs, no less. Now it's hot and puffy, and I've got multiple lacerations from the crap I fell through (it was the basement stairs, and does that answer the second question?)

There's people coming tomorrow, and I can't limp fast enough to even do a quick "acceptable tidy." Nor am I going to. And my email server is poochy-oh. Hence the sucky Hotmail address above.

Thanks. I needed that. Bah, humbug.

-- Anonymous, August 12, 1999

How am I feeling? I am gritty-eyed and twitchy, for I have just this week discovered the fascination and the terrible side-effects of reading online jornals. Like yours. I've spent 4 days in your archives, why the hell do you write so much anyway?

My house? Heh. I live in a construction zone. The greatroom is decorated in the drywall & joint compound/exposed duct & wiring look. The floors are covered with a cheap vinyl tile with a dimpled surface, which conveniently traps dust & grit no matter how many times you sweep or mop (what were they THINKING!?) The previous owners also installed some lovely new windows - BACKWARDS. Our cats (there are 4 of the little fuzzy monsters) leave dusty little pawprints on the couch, the chairs, our bedspread...

And we payed good money for the privelege of living here :)

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

I have to admit I use a simple method of keeping up the appearance of a habitible house. I have a 10 gallon plastic bucket and whenever I want things to look cleaner, I just take everything that's out of place, throw it in the bucket and push the bucket into a closet. Whenever I wonder where that thing I'm looking for went, it's always in the bucket. Once the bucket gets full, I go through it, pull out the valuble things, throw them on the floor and throw the rest in the trash.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

Now, why did I even click on something with clean house in the subject??

Gotta say, that I have that cleaning lady thing too, ya know. BUT... she don't do PILES. I wrote about my piles once...but I'd have to go back through them to find where I put it.

SO, how I added to my piles this summer:

1) Got a new job while going to grad school 2) Grad school 3) Teaching while in grad school 4) Emptying out old room at old school (3 van loads, 1 pickup, and numerous handfuls thrown in the trunk of my car 5) Piling up new room at new school while in grad school 6)3 surprise parties for me with miscellaneous gifts piled all around 7) Finishing up grad school and bringing it all home 8) Not paying my bills while I was in grad school 9) NOt doing my laundry while I was...... 10) Piling up all those catalogs I am going to order out of before school starts in 2 weeks.

Well, I have whined it before, I need Alice on the Brady Bunch to rescue me... Just cleaning under the piles isn't cutting it anymore.

Lyra

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

I must retract some of my earlier HMO-related venom. While HMOs are by and large evil, the individual people contained within them can be downright helpful.

Case in point, my surgeon, Dr. Swanson, who responded to my plea for pain-killers by not only prescribing the pain-killers but also finding me an appointment Monday at Mercy General for this procedure.

Monday. That is a full 10 days less pain and suffering. So if any of you run into a tallish blonde surgeon with a permanent little frown line running vertically halfway up his forehead, whose favorite phrase is: "I'm sorry, I don't mean to be hurting you," then absolutely NO mugging him.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

Whew, it's a good thing you told me -- mugging tall blonde surgeons is one of my hobbies.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999