Have you seen someone talking on their cell phone in a place you couldn't believe?

One time I was talking on my cell phone while changing a tape cassette while lighting a cigarette while merging into the right lane. Even I hated me at that moment.

-- Anonymous, July 28, 1999

Answers

Oh, yes, the ladies room at the movies. The woman in the stall next to me was having a long stupid conversation with her daughter or someone.

At least she didn't keep talking in the theater itself, or maybe she was watching a different movie than I was.

-- Anonymous, July 28, 1999

A friend's story.

He was driving in a van. This big huge 1976 Dodge. Complete with sun-roof. He's driving along, talking on the cell phone. He's trying to merge left because he has to turn. He has his signal on, but this woman is sitting right near his back end, she won't go forward, she won't let him in. He gets so frustrated he starts to motion with his left hand out the window. The same hand that is holding the cell phone.

Motion--- motion--- cell-phone toss.

"Imagine the complete feeling of helplessness as I watched it fly out of my hand, onto the street, into the oncoming traffic..."

-- Anonymous, July 28, 1999

My father drove his riding mower over to my sister's house - we live somewhat in the country and she is only 3 miles away - talking to my mom on his cell phone. Talk about corny. he could barely hear her. Can you imagine?

-- Anonymous, July 28, 1999

I think the silliest cell phone incident I have ever come across was walking down lexington Ave at lunch time and seeing this man with his cell phone clipped to his belt and attached to that was a head set and he was walking along waving his hands chatting away, I'm sorry but I think that is plain silliness

-- Anonymous, July 28, 1999

I don't have a 'story' per se, but it always amuses me to no end whenever I see people talking on cell phones while driving really really shitty cars. What? You can afford a $100 phone and $50 a month for service but you can't get yourself a decent car? Priorities priorities. I always make the mistake of talking on a cell phone when I'm doing something like trying to open the car door and put the groceries inside; that just doesn't work with one hand. People with cell phones during movies really piss me off. Most phones have a vibrate option you know and it won't KILL you to go outside the theater and talk.

-- Anonymous, July 28, 1999

Just yesterday, I went to my county fair. I don't know why. At any rate, I saw a couple girls from out of town, standing right next to an extremely loud carnival ride, facing each other, talking to each other on their cell phones.

"Hello?"

"Hi, it's me!"

"Like, cool! What are you doing?"

"Like, talking to you!"

"Cool! This is like, cool. I can like, hear you in one ear and hear you again in the other!"

"I know! It's like, stereo or something!"

"Yeah!"

They reminded me again how happy I am to have graduated high school.

-- Anonymous, July 29, 1999

I personally loved it when Matt was on stage doing standup and Marc (director of Monks) called him on cellphone. Hey, it was his fault for leaving it in his jacket pocket.

-- Anonymous, July 29, 1999

A courtroom! Some guy had the nerve to answer his cell phone and begin a conversation while court was in session. He was so loud and didn't notice the judge stating that cell phone use was prohibited in the courtroom at all times. Finally the judge got so ticked he became red faced and screamed out "This isn't Shea Stadium!!! Turn the thing off and SHUT UP!!!" A barrel of laughs was had by all except the stupid man who was so embarrassed he ran out of the room and didn't come back. I was glad I wasn't in court that night for myself, I would have HATED having that judge...he was pissed!

Also...church. I couldn't believe the audacity of some guy to just hop on the phone during the sermon and talk to his buddy telling him to wait up, he'd be there in an hour, the priest is dragging out a sermon. I was apalled (appalled?).

-- Anonymous, July 29, 1999

In the movie theater, watching the Matrix for the first time. There were 4 people to right of me, who sneaked in beer and proceeded to get shitfaced. The guy on the very end of them answered his phone and very loudly, very drunkenly, told the caller in very obscene terms that the caller had interrupted his movie. They were asked to leave.

-- Anonymous, July 29, 1999

The only time I've had a cell phone at my disposal was when I was working on this field project observing birds in the swamps of South Carolina. Everyone working on the project got phones, because we were all by ourselves out there and there were cottonmouths and crazed rednecks and logging roads made entirely of clay to contend with.

Anyway, it always struck me as totally surreal to be standing in the middle of this godforsaken swampy wildnerness, wearing a mosquito headnet, snake chaps, (big plastic things, kind of like shin guards, that are supposed keep you from dying when the rattlesnake fangs you) big rubber boots, a safety orange vest (so no one shot us by mistake), and a machete attached to my belt (for hacking at vegetation)...and talking on my lil' Motorola.

Of course my boyfriend (who was also on the project) and I totally abused the cell phones. Once he called me because he had caught a giant kingsnake and he wanted me to come see it. I used to call him and tell him how many mosquitoes I had killed in one swat. Sometimes we answered the phone a la X-Files. (Brring! "Scully.")

I did have this problem, though, where I kept leaving the phone places. Like, I'd put it down in the middle of the woods and meander off to do something else. This is not a good plan, in case anyone is wondering. We once spent almost an entire day wandering through the woods calling my phone, hoping we would hear it ringing. (We found it, by the way. We never told our boss about how we'd spent that particular afternoon.)

-- Anonymous, July 29, 1999

well, here in money-ed-geek-land cell phones are de rigeour (guess i shouldn't use that if i don't know how to spell it...) and soccer-mom types in mini-vans chatting away are a highway hazard. but the worst one ever just happened to me last night on the way home from work.

some guy in a spankin' new lexus 4x4 thingy and i were both turning onto a highway on-ramp. only i was turning right, and he was across from me turning left. the ramp has three lanes. a commuter, which is the far right, the first regular lane (the closest regular lane to me), in the middle, and the other regular lane, on the left (closest to him). so of course, he should be turning into the left one and i turn into the middle one. uh-Huh. that's what you'd think. no. mr. buddy decides, as we're BOTH turning, and HE'S talking on his cell-phone, to just cut ACROSS his lane and into mine. apparently, he thought our auto's could occupy the same space. it was the first time i'd ever honked at someone. and wow, did i lay it on. if i hadn't, he would have just kept going because he totally had to swerve and i had to break so he wouldn't hit me.

of course, i had just had this vibe that this was going to happen, so i was actually ready for it and watching him the whole time. i noticed he had turned too widely in the first place but i swear he was looking right at me while he did it! and it's like helLO!? where ARE you going???

and as i went past him onto the highway he was STILL talking on his phone! GAH!

-- Anonymous, July 29, 1999

I was at one of the major comedy clubs in LA enjoying the show when some womans cell phone rang and she answered it. The comedian was off the stage in an instant and had the phone in his hands and against the mike in the next one. What followed was one of the most brutal mockings of the girl and her boyfriend (who had called her) that I ever saw. The boyfriend would hangup so the comedian would *69 it and call back.... After awhile he started working his way through her programed numbers... Her parents, Her girlfriends... He filled up his entire set with this improve assult comedy and was beyond funny. He was doing what we all wish we could do...

Ah hap

-- Anonymous, July 30, 1999

I read an article about Laurence Fishburn (sp?). He was performing Shakespeare on Broadway; I can't remember which play. I do remember it was a tragedy, though.

Anyway, during a particularly dramatic (and quiet) moment, a cell phone went off in the theater. It rang. And rang and rang and continued to ring.

Laurence faced the audience and yelled quite loudly "WILL SOMEONE PLEASE TURN OFF THAT FUCKING PHONE?!!" at which point the audience exploded in applause, laughter, and general righteous happiness. The demon with the cell phone promptly left the theater.

Here's another... Alcatel, the largest cellular provider in Europe, has been running commercials in movie theaters that discourage cell phone use in a theater. One commercial shows patrons watching an American Cowboys & Indians movie. An ignorant turd's cell phone goes off. The Indians on the movie screen glare into the audience at the moron. The Indians jump out of the film, run to the man with the cell phone, and scalp him. Very funny.

.

-- Anonymous, July 30, 1999

I was eating lunch at a sushi bar the other day and there was this nice little hand-drawn note tacked to the wall behind the bar. It had a little cartoony looking cell phone with a red circle and line through it, and underneath it read, "please!"

I thought, what a nice little sign. Made my day.

I feel like I'm the last person in Silicon Valley without a cell phone. Sad thing is, if they make one that's design-y enough, I'd probably buy it. Sucker.

-- Anonymous, July 31, 1999

I have better than a cellphone story, I have a game boy story.

I was driving home from school one night and this guy infront of me was weaving from lane to lane doing 60mph... I was freaked thinking it was a drunk driver, as I went to pass him I looked over and he was streering with a combination of knee and arm while playing a gameboy video game. He was even yelling at it. I beeped while passing and he looked over gave me a dirty look and went right back to the game.

Some people need a good smacking!

GG

-- Anonymous, September 14, 1999

i was in a ralph lauren outlet in lancaster PA a couple of weeks ago, when i saw a woman standing outside a dressing room, half dressed, talking on a cell phone about beating phelgm out of someone.

turns out she was a vet, and the poor woman in question wasn't on the other end of the phone, she was a horse.

it was surreal.

-- Anonymous, September 15, 1999