What do you do when you're on your own? Do you find it energizing or exhausting?

-- Anonymous, July 23, 1999

Answers

Oh, to have some time to be home alone again. Ah, memories!

My stupid, annoying, tv addicted, Devil Dog eating couch potato of a roommate sees to it that my life is total hell. I spend more time with him than I do with myself!!

I come home from work, he's there...the rest of the night, he's there...3:00am, he's still there....he's driving me freaking nuts!! I talked to him just last night, I really did. I told him to go get his tv from his friend, I told him that I really need some privacy, we agreed that he'd go into his bedroom by 11:00pm every night. There was happiness in Maggie Land again.

He did go to bed at 11:30pm last night. And then again at 2:00am, then again at 2:30am and then again at 4:00am when I kicked him out of my living room because I wanted to go to sleep.

Beth, can I move in with you? :(

-- Anonymous, July 23, 1999

Still being something of a newleywed, I'm loving living with my husband, but he works nights, so at 8:30 he's out the door, and I live alone. As much as I enjoy being with him, I love my time in the evenings to putter and do whatever I want, especially Friday nights when I can stay up til the wee hours. I didn't realize how much I liked my alone time until he called in sick one Friday night, I got nothing done and I resented his intrusion the whole weekend.

-- Anonymous, July 23, 1999

We've been together 8 years and didn't live together until, what, 4 years into it? It's the first time I've been with someone and not wanted to spend every moment together so I always wonder if we =really= love each other. But I think we do.

I like hanging out with him, but I like it when he's away, too. Sometimes I just don't want anyone else hanging around. Sometimes there's stuff I want to get done and for no particular reason, I don't get it done if he's there. I like eating alone. So all in all, I like having the place to myself sometimes. Tonight he may be having drinkies with a buddy in the city, and i'm looking forward to it. I think I'll unpack those boxes in my room, and have macaroni and cheese for dinner.

I'm always amazed by another diarist who gets all glum when her husband, who works at home, has to go out of town for a few days. I'm really curious what they get from each other that they can't be apart.

-- Anonymous, July 23, 1999

Hrmm. It's a mixed bag. See when I EXPECT to have the place to myself for X number of hours because he's said he's coming home late, I wind up WANTING those hours and if he turns up early instead, I get pissy because I wanted that alone time.

When he goes away on trips (infrequently) I like coming home and fixing ONE meal for myself and plenty of time to watch whatever dumb shows I want to, and spend time noodling on my personal sites without having to listen to the soundtrack of his dumb online interactive games next to me.

But I miss him if he's gone for more than a couple of days, especially at night, because I'm such a freaker about being alone at night -- I check all the locks compulsively and take all the cats into the bedroom with me and lock the BEDROOM door which we usually never do.

Apparently, he does the same thing when I'm away. He gets nervous about the slightest noises in the place and retreats to the bedroom to huddle under the covers with the cats all curled up around him.

Nothing like 4 ferocious (hah!) kitties to make you feel safe.

But I think we both appreciate having some space from time to time. Mostly, I take more time to hang with female friends whom I might not see as often otherwise, I get more housework done, because I do all of it RIGHT the first time, instead of having to corral the boy around the house checking and double-checking his parts and I cook better for myself, mostly because I'm leaning strongly vegetarian, while he is a confirmed carnivore, not to mention the natural divergeance in our food tastes (subtly flavorful for me, downright spicy and hot for him) and this leads to making lots of double meals.

So generally, I find being on my own neither energizing nor exhausting, but simply, relaxing.

-- Anonymous, July 23, 1999

In my 33 years, I have never had a roommate (except for my sister, and that stopped when I was 10 and got my own room). Even though I have a boyfriend whom (who? they're going to take back my English degree, swear to God) I miss terribly when I leave his apartment, or he leaves my house to head home, I have to admit that if/when we ever do live together, we're going to have separate bedrooms.

nd not just because he snores like a grizzly.

-- Anonymous, July 23, 1999

Well, I didn't mind having the place to myself for a month last summer when all the roommates went to Europe and didn't take me with them. Well, except for not being in Europe. I did get bored, and lonely, but it wasn't bad. However, I do NOT like being alone at my parents' house with the dogs. They go out of their way to freak me out. 'There's someone outside the front door! Really! Just because you don't see anything doesn't mean there's nobody there trying to kill us! Save us! Help help help help help!'. The cats don't do that.

-- Anonymous, July 24, 1999

I very much enjoy being home alone. I suppose that's because I'm hardly ever alone at all so when I do get the opportunity to be home alone I feel very peaceful. I just relax and go about my day at a slow pace, sometimes not even dressing or showering. I envy you for the fact that I'd really love some more "alone" time at home, just me and my dog.

-- Anonymous, July 26, 1999

I only like being home alone when I know it's just for a few hours. After that I start talking to myself and driving the cats crazy. If I have already gone through one book then I start getting cabin fever.

-- Anonymous, July 26, 1999

I used to hate being alone until I got pets. A dog is even better than cats, because you can take it for a walk.

I like being home alone, but five days was more than I needed. Of course, we spent the whole weekend trying to get away from each other -- you get used to being on your own, and having someone else in your space is suddenly annoying.

Jeremy is a good roommate for me, because he likes time alone, too.

-- Anonymous, July 26, 1999