And how do you feel about the DMV?

-- Anonymous, July 16, 1999

Answers

Paul wakes me up at 6. I lie in bed till 6:30, which pisses him off. I shower and dress, and when I come out, Whit is sulking on the sofa because we won't let him watch TV till after breakfast, and Will is running down the hall in his urine-soaked underwear shouting, "I gotta go tee-tee!" I change his clothes, pull the sheets off his bed to wash them, and go downstairs. I have a cup of coffee and eat the rest of the soggy cereal out of Whit's bowl. Drag the kids to the car, yell at them to keep their hands to themselves all the way to daycare. "Kiss" by Prince comes on the radio and I turn it up real loud and sing over the boys' protests. Whit thinks that song is an "oldie." I guess it is.

Pretty typical morning, though I left out the cats whining for food and whater (again? I just gave you some Wednesday.).

-- Anonymous, July 16, 1999

My morning was surprisingly good. Good ole' Ginger let me sleep till the way late hour of 5:30 AM. She did her business quick and went back to sleep when we got inside.

I do hate the DMV though. They mess up everything! I recently moved from Westchester county to Putnam county and that messed up everything. I had to get my car inspected, but Putnam county can't do inspections for Westchester county cars. I'd sent in the paperwork to change my address, but they took their sweet time about sending me the stuff. They only sent me a new liscence, not a registration, so I had to go out of my way and get the car inspected in Westchester. It cost more, and I'm just waiting for the ticket they'll give me for having my car registered in a different county than the one I live in.

And there is NO way I'm wasting a whole day to go down to DMV and try to get it straighted out.

I would have done the same thing you did -- pay the tickets just to get it out of my hair. Paying the money is worth not having to go to DMV.

-- Anonymous, July 16, 1999

Ooh ooh, I have feelings!

And being me, I've got multiple state's to pick from. Hmm, lessee. How about South Carolina?

~

8/5- Make mistake of driving to SC. Get ticket for 73 in a 55. Shoulda changes plates at the border.

8/6- Decide, as matter of principle, to contest ticket. (Not exactly sure what the principle is, but that's beside the point . .).

8/15- Move from Atlanta to DC, making the trip to contest the ticket a little longer.

8/25- Call court, realizing that court date is on the day of my class with the professor that actually expects you to be there. Continuances are a simple matter, right? Not in South Carolina, son. The police officer that gave you the ticket is the one you ask. Realize that there's a reason the Dept. of Justice still has jurisdiction over a good part of this state's activities.

8/26-9/26- Attempt to call the officer that gave me the ticket. They can't call you back, if it's a long distance number, evidently. Finally get a supervisor on the phone a few days before my court date, who says that I can have a continuance, and that the officer will call me back with a particular date.

10/25- Get notice from the *Georgia* DMV telling me that my license has been suspended. Evidently I *had* a court date and failed to show up. Okay.

10/25-1/15- Spend a grand in lawyers fees trying to make sure that I'm not hauled off to jail the next time I pass through SC. GA tells me it needs a "blue slip" from SC. SC tells me they "don't send out blue slips". Consider torching myself on the front steps of the Charleston County Courthouse, but realize I prolly wouldn't get much coverage. Or my blue slip. SC takes a plea and a fine, but takes months to let GA know that, in fact, I've done so.

3/15- My license is "reinstated" for a mere $65. Woo, I can drive again. Well, legally.

~

Oh, the *DMV*, not the courts?

They're okay, I guess.

-- Anonymous, July 16, 1999

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!!!!

I yelled at the dogs, the cats, my daughter, and the cleaning lady. Then I called my husband on his cell phone just to yell at him. Oooooooooh. I decided I'd better get a grip before I got any worse.

I was better for about two hours and then yelled at my boss.

I left the office at 2:00 today, and had to yell at the Service Manager at the Volvo dealership, who then gave me 10% off my repair bill.

I've been home, blissfully alone for about two hours and I don't think I'll be yelling anymore today.

And it's a good thing I didn't have to deal with the DMV today because I would have yelled at someone there too.

Beth

-- Anonymous, July 16, 1999

At the moment, I can't help but have warm feelings of love for the DMV and the state employees working within. They're a lovely bunch, always willing to turn a blind eye or wander down the path of simple- minded-ness.

story: Several years ago, I move back to my home state and in that move my license, of course, gets lost, but I figure, "no problem, it'll turn up." Soon, though, my license is due to expire. I force myself to do the required but only make it as far as the eyetest.

"Read the letters off the top line, please."

"Letters? What letters."

"Just make a guess... ah... nevermind. Next."

Being both laxy and in denial, I spend the next two years driving, in fear, without a valid drivers license. Finally, I decide it's time to be a card-carrying human, with ID and all, don a handy pair of glasses (looks around innocently) and head off with (much clearer) visions of Driving Tests and open book written tests (you can even have a friend or loved one stand by your side to help you, apparently), etc...

I stand in all the lines, do the eyetest, bring my paperwork over to the written testers only to find out that I'd obviously (2 years ago when I was getting a new license before the old one expired, and thus did not need anything further than an eyetest) had enough paper work done to exempt me from all tests and payment; pass GO, collect your $200 and go directly to the surreal photo op.

Some kind of weird miracle; blessed by ineptitude

-- Anonymous, July 17, 1999

I have to confess that I've never had terrible problems with the DMV. Okay, the change of address thing was annoying, but I should have figured it out after the first ticket went to the wrong address. And I waited forever to call them about my renewal form. And they sent me a refund within a couple of weeks, without my even asking.

What annoys me is my own laziness and stupidity. I have GOT to remember to move that damn car!

-- Anonymous, July 17, 1999