Do you keep in touch with your relatives? Do you have one of those warm fuzzy, AT&T type families that make sure you all talk at least once a week, or are you the type of family that finds it amazing you still all get together for the winter holidays?

Are there some family members that you feel guilty about losing touch with?

My great grand uncle died when I was in high school, and now I wish that I had talked to him more when I was a kid. He came over from Poland and had all of these stories, but when I was young he only told me the same three over and over.

Now I'd really like to know what they were, since I can't really remember. I miss him even though I feel like I never got to know him.

I guess that's a part of being a family.

-- Anonymous, June 24, 1999

Answers

I never see my father's side of the family unless it's a wake. Then it turns into a family reunion. We always say we should get together but it never happens. But I still send everyone Christmas cards!

-- Anonymous, June 24, 1999

I see my mom's side of the family all the time. We're always up there for dinner or whatever. I suppose it helps that they all live within a block of each other. My dad's side is spread out much more so I don't see them as often, which does make me feel guilty, but I can't really help it.

-- Anonymous, June 24, 1999

I'm very close to my immediate family - my two sisters and my Mum and Dad, but I don't have a huge extended family and I don't tend to keep in touch with the extended family members I do have.

I spend a fortune on staying in touch with my sisters, Mum and Dad - our phone bill for the last three months is #160 (an average three month phone bill is around #40). My family are complete techno-idiots and don't have email, but my Mum has a fax at home, so I get long, hand-written letters sent to me, and cute letters from my adorable nieces.

The only thing I hate about living in London is being so far away from my family and knowing it's going to be ages until I see them again. However, my fantastic Mum is arriving on Sunday for a two week visit - Yay!!! My father is too busy at work and can't come with her, but he's planning to be over doing business in Europe within the next six weeks or so, so he'll visit then.

-- Anonymous, June 25, 1999

I find it interesting that this issue surfaces now. Presently, I am in the midst of a very painful and stressful battle with my younger brother. I love him dearly, and he has picked me up and put me back together when I have been broken. However, my space, both personal and physical, has long been a point of contention between the two of us. I am no longer broken, and am, in fact, better than I have ever been.

I know this, the problem is trying to get my brother to realize this.

I am very close to my mother, and close with my father. The irony in my life is that I have more contact with my ex-husband's family than I do with my own.

Families. . . .go figure.

-- Anonymous, June 25, 1999

My sisters and my mother and I keep in touch. We see each other quite a bit considering we all live in different states. My father and I don't have a relationship so, I never see anyone on his side of the family.

-- Anonymous, June 25, 1999

I like some of my family - if they are immediate family, I definately like them. I don't talk to my mom's side of the family because they're all wenches and my dad's side, well they're "different". I don't socialize with many of my relatives. Someone said they only see family at a wake - that's here too. I do like my Aunt Karen - but she's not really my Aunt by law, so she doesn't count.

-- Anonymous, June 25, 1999

I am really close with my sisters, and my mom... and even my dad.. although the rest of my sisters aren't really that close to dad.

We have kind of the average typical american disfunctional family... so I'm really pretty happy and often amazed that we all still get along so well!

-- Anonymous, June 25, 1999

Omigawd! You must be related to me, Pamie. I have an aunt who used to be an uncle...but he/she/it had the surgery for real, not just dress-up. "Now, kids, your Uncle Gary had an ... accident ... last year, and he may come to dinner wearing a dress. Don't stare." This was twenty minutes before Christmas dinner, for chrissake. OF COURSE we stared. We never had a family get together that didn't end with either a fist or knife fight, or somebody being found doing the horizontal hokey-pokey with someone who wasn't their spouse all over the coats in the spare bedroom. I used to watch 'The Waltons' when I was a kid and laugh.... It's been 22 years since I saw any of my family, I must say I miss my oldest brother, but not any of the other loonies. They pretty much did the big 'we shun you' thing when I got divorced. But my grandmother was big cool fun, I wish I had listened to more of her stories, but by the time I was born she was already up there in years, so she constantly thought I was one of the neighbor kids come to play with my mom, or something like that. She generally spent most of the time pleasantly confused, but she was still big cool fun none the less. BTW, I dig your site. Very funny, very introspective, and very daring, since you have people who know you in real life reading your site. I don't think I have the courage to ever do something like that... Just call me, Fiona

-- Anonymous, June 26, 1999

I am the only 22-year-old I know who would still go spend the summers with her grandparents if she could. I hate so much that I had to grow up and get a job, because that means I don't get to see my relatives very often. I would be down there once a month atleast if I could, but it's just really not possible. So I call everyone and write them letters and send them cards and things. I don't want anyone to die and then spend the rest of my life thinking I wish we could've been closer - I want to know always that we were as close as we could be.

-- Anonymous, June 27, 1999

I am very close to my immediate family, but that is just mom, dad, and my one brother; so it is easy. The majority of my extended family lives about 400 miles away, which granted isn't too far. But then we were never really close to them when we lived closer, so the distance makes it easier. We actually have a family reunion coming up August 6,7,8. This is on my dad's side. Mom's side is...well...lets save that for another time. Someone started this reunion about six years ago, coinciding with my grandfathers birthday.
This all sounds pretty standard so far right? Well picture this. My dad is 6'6". My brother is 6'2". I am 6'3". We are all average height when at family reunions. Well, maybe not dad, but you get the idea. The number of dad's brothers and sisters seems to change depending on how drunk everybody is..so I'll just say he has five brothers and six sisters. Every one of them is over six feet tall. One sister is 6'3" like me. She married a man 6'7". They have four kids--three girls and one boy.All their girls are over 6', the boy is almost 7'--yes seven feet tall. Do you get the picture? It is a reunion of giants, or an NBA team or something. It does get entertaining when the alcohol starts flowing. Especially since my mom and dad are not drinkers, we (my brother and I) don't join in either. Wouldn't want to suffer the wrath of mom you know. So we get to be the private screening audience for Drunk Giants Masterpiece Theatre . I really need to invest in a video camera.
I have a dilemma this year though. Go to that high school reunion that is on the same weekend or see the next act of the show...at the family reunion. Decisions,decisions.

-- Anonymous, June 28, 1999

I'm really close with all of my family. Geographically, most of them are now a few hours away (my immediate family is about an hour away in San Antonio -- I live in Austin), but we still keep in touch and I go home every christmas and sometimes for Easter or Thanksgiving.
I don't really write or call much -- I see all the relatives at once on holidays, so I've never really felt a huge need. I see my grandmothers pretty often because they come visit my parents a lot.
I have always felt a bit removed since I was an Air Force brat and moved around a lot. For a long stretch, I didn't see a lot of my not- so-immediate family, so I've always felt a bit distant even though I knew I shouldn't.
Sigh... now I'm all sad. But my family is generally really cool -- no knife fights or anything like that. There's nary a divorce or anything. And everyone just lives forever. Haven't had a death in the family since I was like 4.

-- Anonymous, June 28, 1999

one side of my family are big biiiig grudge-holders. down through generations. So when I was about sixteen, we received a book written by a great-aunt who had been ostracized from the rest of the family, in which she mentions descendents that we never knew existed. there are whole branches of my family living across the country that we didn't know. even more creepy, my mom went to hebrew school with her own cousins, but she didn't know that, and they knew who she was but because of the feud they didn't trust/tell her. And when we meet people from both sides of that feud, most of them want to know which side we are on before they will open up.
Both my parents were the "black sheep" of the family. On my Dad's side, they are mostly fairly conservative southerners, who regularly and unthinkingly use phrases like "Jew down" as in, "I jewed him down on the price", and other charming turns of phrase, which, given my dad's sensitivity and my mom's heritage, are a little hard to take. we don't hang out with them much because there's not much to talk about.

-- Anonymous, July 01, 1999

I don't know my dad....he left my mom before i was born and got married to another woman who had a little girl. He stopped visiting me when i was 6 and when he started again when i was 8 i didn't want him in my life. He has a son with this other woman...my brother is 8 now and my sister is 16 and i am 14...i wrote a letter to my sister (havent talked to her in 6 years)----i don't know if i am going to send it or not...if you want to read it, email me....

-- Anonymous, July 01, 1999